Authors: T. L. Haddix
Chapter Fifty-One
W
hen Archer had told him to meet at the farmhouse at six on Friday night, Logan had just raised an eyebrow.
“You want me to come to my intended’s parents’ house so we can meet to go my bachelor party?” he’d teased.
Archer had shrugged and grinned. “I’m perverse like that. What can I say?”
Logan hid his amusement behind a scowl. “Dangerous is what you are.” He had no worries, though. While other men might set up a wild and raucous stag night, Archer had too much respect for Amelia to even entertain the idea of something bawdy. Logan fully expected they would all gather somewhere, eat junk food, smoke cigars, and play poker. And he was fine with that.
He arrived at the farmhouse a little before six, eager to see Amelia. Her bridal shower was scheduled to start at six thirty, and he wanted to see her for a few minutes before they were separated. He knew he wouldn’t get another chance until he saw her tomorrow when she walked down the aisle to say her vows. Walking into the house, he felt the hum of energy as Rachel and Emma hurried through the hall, prettily wrapped presents in hand.
Emma smiled at him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see my bride before you two corrupt her,” he teased.
“I do not know what you’re talking about,” she said with a wink. “But I’m glad you’re here. She’s nervous tonight, for some reason.”
Something about her tone cued him in. “Normal nervous or uh-oh nervous?”
She handed her packages off to Rachel and came to stand beside him. “I don’t know. You two didn’t have a fight, did you?”
“No. Far from it. You don’t think she’s getting cold feet, do you?”
When they’d decided to get married less than a month after she’d accepted his proposal, it had raised a few eyebrows. But neither he nor Amelia wanted to wait. They’d both seen how quickly life could change, and they wanted to spend however much time together as they could. She wanted a simple wedding, and he’d happily gone along. It hadn’t taken long to pull a plan together, and Logan was grateful. He was ready to be married.
Amelia came in just then, followed by Archer and Owen. Archer was teasing her.
“Now, you’re sure you’re okay with the stripper, Pip? Because I can cancel her. It isn’t too late.”
She didn’t even crack a smile, her face going carefully blank when she saw Logan standing in the hallway.
“He’s teasing, sweetheart. You know that, right?” Logan hurried over to her, scowling at his brother. “There won’t be a stripper.”
Amelia shook her head. “I’m sorry… I can’t do this.” Pushing around Logan, she bolted for the door, her face pale, and ran.
The foyer was so quiet, a pin could have fallen and been heard. If he hadn’t been so concerned about Amelia, Logan would have flattened Archer. From the grimace on his brother’s face, Archer knew that.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“Stuff it.” Logan didn’t waste time, just followed Amelia. In the fading evening light, he saw her disappearing into the barn. He hurried in that direction, cursing the hip that still protested too-rapid movement. He got there just in time to hear her empty her stomach, and he rushed to the door of the small bathroom Owen had installed.
“Amelia?”
“I’m fine,” she told him, her voice rough. “Give me a minute.”
Logan paced the aisle outside the bathroom, his heart hammering in his chest as he waited for her to come out. When he heard the water running in the sink, he went to the door and tried it. To hell with her privacy, he was terrified.
“Are you okay?” he asked as he opened the door.
She paused in the act of splashing her face. “I don’t know. Hand me a washcloth?”
He went around her and grabbed a clean cloth from the rack over the back of the toilet, then handed it to her without a word. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but she clearly had a “hands off” sign up. So he waited.
Finally, she straightened. Her cheeks were still pale, and there was a look on her face that reminded Logan of the days following the shooting. She wrung the washcloth out and folded it on the sink, then slowly raised her gaze to meet his in the mirror.
“Please talk to me.”
She dropped her eyes. “I don’t know if I can.”
Her voice was so tight it hurt him to hear it. She looked so scared, so alone, Logan’s heart broke. Moving carefully, he turned her so that she was facing him.
“Do you want to call the wedding off?” he asked softly.
“No!” Her eyes filled with tears, one tumbling down her cheek as her lips trembled. “God, no. But you might.”
Logan brushed the dampness away, then lifted her onto the sink. He stood between her legs, wrapping her close in his arms. “Unless you tell me you’re already married, I don’t see that happening.”
Amelia tried to smile but her efforts failed. “What if I told you I was pregnant?”
“Well, that might… Wait, what?” It took a few seconds for it to sink in, that she wasn’t teasing. “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
Later, he would feel deeply ashamed of his reaction. But in the moment, he couldn’t help it. He took a step back from her, horrified, and stared. “You can’t be.”
She shut down in front of him. Arms crossed, eyes lowered, he could see her pull into herself. “I’m sorry,” she repeated.
“How?”
When she told him about the nurse replacing her shot with saline, his hands clenched. How dare that woman take something so important and turn it into a game?
“When did you find out?”
“This morning. They called right after you left for work, asked me to come in early,” she said quietly. “Apparently I’m not the only woman she did this to, though that doesn’t help us, does it?”
Logan moved back in, his heart shattering when she flinched as though expecting a blow. “Amelia…” He ignored her stiffness and pulled her into his arms, hating the way she trembled against him. Hating himself for not reacting better, for making her doubt him. He knew what she had to be thinking—even though he’d admitted he wasn’t afraid to have children anymore, he’d made no secret of the fact that he’d wanted to wait. She had to be scared to death, thinking he wouldn’t want her now that she was pregnant.
“Sweetheart, please. It’s okay. We’re okay. This is just… It’s just a little unexpected, that’s all.”
She broke then, crying against his chest. Logan let her, having learned over the last few weeks that she would make herself sick trying to hold her tears back if he tried to calm her down. So as much as it hurt him to see her hurting, he held her and let her cry.
When she was finished, he pulled back and grabbed some toilet paper.
“Thanks.” She blew her nose, then sat still while he used the wet washcloth to blot her face. Her eyes were swollen and red, and she looked utterly miserable.
Logan kissed her. “I love you.”
She shook her head. “How can you? I feel like I’ve let you down,” she whispered. “You trusted me to not let this happen, and I failed you.”
He was shaking his head before she finished her sentence. “You aren’t the only person in this relationship. You weren’t the only person in the bed. And you didn’t fail me. Amelia, it’s okay. I’m not angry. Not at you. The nurse, I could happily strangle, but this wasn’t your fault. And it isn’t like we aren’t getting married tomorrow.”
“I don’t understand. Why aren’t you upset? I know you wanted to wait at least a couple of years.”
“I did want to wait. God has other plans.” He slid his hands down her shoulders to her chest, gently touching her breasts. “That would be why these have been so sensitive, I’m guessing.”
She nodded, clasping her hands around his. “You don’t have to marry me, you know. Not because of this.”
Logan freed his hands and moved them down her body, letting them rest with the back of his fingers against her flat belly. “All right. What if I marry you because I love you, instead? And because you love me, and we want to spend the rest of our lives together? Would that be okay?”
“I don’t want you to feel trapped. I never wanted that. And now…”
“And now, nothing has changed. Nothing,” he emphasized, tilting her face up to his.
He could see that she wanted to argue, but she was struggling for words. He took advantage of her confusion and kissed her again. “Are you okay? And the… the baby? My God, Amelia, we made a baby?” His own eyes dampened, and he forced himself to breathe through his emotions.
“Other than the slight soreness, I don’t feel any different. I guess I’m okay. Honestly, once he told me, I didn’t even think about waiting around to see what else he had to say. I’m about six weeks along, I do know that.”
Logan saw the first glimmer of hope cross her face as she reached up to touch his cheek. “And yeah, we made a baby.”
He knew his fear and some old doubts would creep in later, and he knew that was perfectly normal. But for right now, all he could think about was the fact that they’d created a life. A little boy or girl who would be theirs, who would look like them. Who would…
“Do you think he’s a shifter?” he asked as he rested a hand over her belly again.
Amelia tilted her head to the side and smiled faintly. “He could be a she.”
“No. It’s a boy. I know how to deal with little boys. Little girls terrify me. Six weeks, huh?” He did the calculations in his head. The night he’d had the nightmare was almost exactly six weeks earlier. He smiled. “When do you think we made him?” He had a good idea but wanted to know if she felt the same.
“I don’t know for sure…”
“But you have an idea?” he asked with a soft kiss. He felt her relax a little bit, and some of his own tension eased.
“I think it was that night on the table. After the porch.” Her cheeks were flushed. “Are you… Do you really still want to get married?”
He didn’t answer immediately, just let her study him for a few moments. “Yeah, I really do. But, um, I don’t particularly want to be the one to tell your parents about this.”
A wide smile spread across her face, and she actually laughed. “You’re still afraid of Daddy, aren’t you?”
“Damned straight. He scares the hell out of me.” Logan softened the words with a smile. “Do
you
still want to marry
me
?”
“Oh, yes.”
He kissed her deeply, running his hands up her back to press her closer to him. “I don’t want to go back in there. I want to stay here, with you.”
“We have to go back in there. You have a bachelor party to go to, and I have a bridal shower to attend.”
“You know Archer really was teasing about the stripper, right? I think. I hope.”
She laughed as they headed back across the meadow. “I know. Logan, let’s not tell them just yet. Okay? If they ask, chalk this up to pre-wedding jitters.”
He wrapped his arms around her and swung her so that she was walking backward. “If that’s what you want, then that’s what we’ll do. Whatever makes you happy.”
“You make me happy. Everything else is incidental for the most part.”
Epilogue
Ten months later
A
melia came out of the bathroom and into the bedroom of the house she shared with Logan, stopping at the doorway to take in the sight that met her eyes. Stretched out on his side on the bed, Logan was talking to their infant son. The headful of dark hair on little Colin Douglas Gibson matched his father’s exactly, even down to the way it spiked over his forehead. Logan was talking to the baby like he could understand every word, and Colin was paying attention as though he really could.
“What are my handsome men doing?” she asked softly as she approached the bed. She’d taken a long, hot bath to ward off the chill of their first winter blast, and Logan watched her cross the space with love. The warmth in his gaze heated her more than the bath had, and she was looking forward to the time after Colin was down for the evening. But for now, she was happy to spend some time with her son.
“We’re waiting for you. See, here’s Mommy. I told you she would be here soon.”
Colin turned his head toward her as she sat down on the bed, settling in so that she could nurse him. He let out a happy squeal, kicking his legs.
“Someone’s hungry,” she said as Logan sat up and positioned himself so that she was leaning back against him. Once he was ready, she picked Colin up and kissed his head. The routine was one they’d gotten in the habit of since he’d been born nine weeks earlier. It was a routine she held dear.
“The way he eats, I’m surprised he isn’t half grown by now.”
She laughed and positioned the baby, rubbing a hand over his head as he latched on and started suckling. “He’ll be on solid food soon, at this rate.”
“He’s so damned beautiful, Amelia.” Logan kissed her shoulder where her nightgown had fallen down. “I never thought I’d feel so much love for someone, but the two of you… You are my world. I hope you know that.”
She turned her head up for his kiss. “I do. So no regrets?”
“None. Not a single one. You?”
“Not in the least. I still feel like I’m dreaming this life we have together.”
The last several months had been challenging, as much as they’d been joyous. There had been fallout from the shooting in ways they hadn’t expected. Due to her notoriety, Amelia hadn’t been able to continue her literacy training at the library. And the pressure of becoming known around the small town as the woman who’d shot her best friend’s husband had been quite a strain. So much so that when, two months after they’d been married, Logan had been offered a position at the community college in London, he’d been eager to accept.
“I can’t sit here and watch you suffer like this. You can’t go anywhere, do anything you used to do without people staring. And that just makes me want to kill someone. Let’s take this job and start over. We’ll still be close to your family, but hopefully far enough away that you can find some peace.”
Amelia had never thought she’d live anywhere other than Perry County. But he was right. They were feeling so much pressure, she was afraid of what it would do to the baby and to their marriage if it continued. If she hadn’t been pregnant, she might have argued they could just tough it out. But she did have the baby to consider, and Logan. So they’d moved.
A few acres and a cute little farmhouse had come up for sale a few miles down the road from Eli and Eliza, and when she’d seen it, she’d fallen in love with it. Even the name of the street it was on was perfect—Cricket Cove Road. Though the house had needed some work, it was well within their budget, and they’d snapped it up.
The first couple of months had been hard, being away from her family. But she’d had Logan, and there were all sorts of cousins nearby. Plus, Eli and Eliza had made themselves available whenever she and Logan needed them.
All in all, the move had worked out well. The same day she’d gotten her six-month ultrasound, confirming that Colin was a boy, she’d received a letter from the agent she’d queried. They were interested in her books, and though nothing was set in stone yet, she had a good feeling about it.
Even the dark chapters of her life had found resolution. One day right before they’d moved to London, Amelia had been in the grocery store. When she’d turned the corner in produce, the last person she’d expected to see coming down the aisle toward her was Lori. But there she was.
Lori had seemed just as surprised to see her. Both women had stopped, staring at each other in stunned silence as they each watched to see who would move first.
“This is ridiculous,” Amelia muttered. She pushed her cart down the aisle, stopping alongside Lori. “Hello.”
So many emotions ran across Lori’s face, Amelia couldn’t keep up with them. Anger, sadness, regret… they were all there. When her eyes dropped to Amelia’s just-visible baby belly, she sucked in a breath.
“Mom told me you were pregnant. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. Are you back in Hazard now full time or just for a visit?”
“Just a visit. Dad had a bad cold, and Mom was worried.” She looked away. “Trace and I are very happy.”
“Good. That’s all I ever wanted for you, Lori. I hope you believe that someday.”
The other woman didn’t acknowledge her words. Instead, she fiddled with the strap of her purse. “Let me ask you something. Did you… Were you really sleeping with him?”
Amelia didn’t look away, kept her gaze steady on Lori’s face as she answered. “No. I was not.”
“Then he really was stalking you?”
“Yes, he really was.”
A cruel sneer twisted her mouth. “I’m glad.”
Amelia sighed, feeling for her wedding ring with her thumb, needing the comfort of the idea of Logan. “Then I guess we don’t have another damned thing to say to each other, do we?”
“No, we don’t.”
She let Lori get halfway down the aisle before calling after her. “Lori? I hope you get everything you ever deserved from life.” She knew her words could be interpreted a number of ways, but she didn’t care to clarify.
Lori’s back stiffened but she didn’t look back, and after a slight hesitation, she kept going.
That night, she’d let Logan hold her as she cried. In a way, it was a relief to have closure, to know for certain that her friendship with Lori had been damaged beyond repair. The loss still hurt, though. The pain of that loss hadn’t fully been wiped away until the day she’d delivered Colin. With Logan holding her, both of them crying tears of pure joy, they’d looked down at their healthy, screaming son. Amelia had realized then that every bit of pain she’d been through had been worth it because she wouldn’t have Logan and Colin without it, and the loss of Lori’s friendship didn’t matter anymore.
“What are you thinking?” Logan asked softly, bringing her back from her memories. She looked down to see that the baby had drifted off and touched his soft cheek.
“Just remembering what we’ve been through. Being thankful for what we have.”
He smiled. “We have a lot to be thankful for.”
“Yes, we do.” And she meant those words. “I never thought I’d have this, a family of my own, someone to love. And there aren’t enough words in the world to explain to you how that feels.”
Their kiss was soft, intimate, and full of promise. “I think I have a pretty good idea of how it feels,” Logan told her with a wink. And she knew he did.