Croissants and Jam (39 page)

I take a half-hearted bite of my cake.

    ‘What I said about not being my type, well it wasn’t true,’ I say quietly.

    ‘Oh, and there’s me thinking Jack Russell’s were more your type.’

I frown at him. Why can’t he ever be serious? He pours lemonade into a glass without looking at me.

    ‘I only went out with Jack once, I haven’t seen him since. I only went out with him because my mother insisted. I am sorry. I just could not cope with being friends with you if you were married to someone else.’

He smiles and pulls off the Marc Jacob jumper to reveal the top he had bought on our journey to Rome.

    ‘I realised you weren’t marrying Claudine and I thought…’ I stop and swallow in an attempt to lubricate my throat. What had I thought? He is looking at me.

    ‘Oh Lord, what did you think? No, don’t tell me. Claudine, as it happens played me for a fool and not many people do that…’

    ‘And live,’ I smile.

    ‘I was lenient. I just called the wedding off. She was so desperate to live in New York that, behind my back, she tried to put a spanner in the works with the house. I would have to have sold it.’

    ‘Oh,’ I sigh, the relief evident on my face.

    ‘Of course, things weren’t helped by her discovery of some photos taken here in France, especially a very fetching one of my backside, which she discovered on my camera. She had some kind of an anaphylactic fit on seeing those,’ he continues, with a twinkle in his eye.

I clap my hand to my mouth to suppress my gasp and feel myself blush.

    ‘The house looks nice,’ I say embarrassed.

    ‘You’re sure you don’t want me just for my spider-catching skills,’ he says seriously.

    ‘No, no, of course not, I…’

    ‘Just as well, because secretly, I can’t stand them.’

I struggle to keep the disappointment from my face but fail miserably and simply say.

    ‘Oh well…’

I stop when I see
the grin on his face.

    ‘You’re so gullible, you believe everything I say.’

I could hit him.

    ‘I’m so glad you came,’ he says softly leaning towards me.

I feel my body sway towards him and the kiss, when it finally comes takes my breath away. My hands curl around his neck and I sigh with pleasure.

    ‘Although your spider-catching skills help, of course,’ I whisper.

His hands encircle my waist.

    ‘Just don’t expect me to get you to any more weddings.’

The door creaks open and we both turn to see the cat saunter in. The cat looks at us and meows.

    ‘That’s it then, the cat approves,’ he says laughing.

I wrap my arms tighter around him. At last, I have found Mr Right, and he is everything he ought to be: rich, successful, reliable, responsible and best of all, eligible. Mother will be pleased.

* * * * * *

Our Favourite Recipes

Snoozy Woozey Sangria and Lemonade

Mix a little lemonade (diet or otherwise, what the hell) with a large glass of cheap sangria. Compensate for the bitterness with a square of Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut chocolate. If you suffer from a nut allergy, like Christian, avoid the nuts at all costs. Once consumed, continue your shared drinking experience with a good single malt whisky.

    Caution: Avoid bumble bees if outside.

Kaz’s Banana and Blueberry Smoothie

Take two organic Pink Ribbon bananas, blend with a cup of organic blueberries and half a litre of unsweetened soya milk. Add a teaspoon of organic honey, a pinch of Cinnamon and serve as an energising beverage.

    Best drunk in the lotus position.

Edward’s Whisky and Nuts

Select a good single malt whisky, matured for at least twelve years. Enjoy with a handful of roasted nuts. Nice and simple.

    Best drunk in a quiet corner, away from the crowds.

Jack’s Chargrilled Steak

Take one large sirloin steak and place it under a hot grill for thirty minutes or until nicely burnt. Serve with a large quantity of chips and a glass of the best champagne. If anyone questions your choice of steak and champagne, tell them you like to break the rules.

    Best eaten with a large side order of chips, before a night at the casino.

Christian’s Sushi Overload

Purchase as much Sushi as you can, preferably from the local Waitrose (Kitty knows the manager). While there stock up on olives, cheese, crisps, chocolate, pastries and cakes. Grab a couple of bottles of wine too while you’re at it. Money no object.

    Sushi best eaten until you feel sick.

Bels Jam with Croissants

Purchase two croissants from a reputable boulangerie (If you are anything like Bels, then you have never baked anything in your life, so why start now?). Acquire a pot of home-made raspberry jam from Mother’s kitchen. Apply liberally.

    Best enjoyed in the airport departure lounge.

Justin’s Doughnuts

I don’t care where they come from; just don’t cock it up again sweetie. They must be jam doughnuts, JAM and not frigging custard. Can you at least get that right? Am I the boss or am I the boss? Bloody hell!

    Best eaten in the office.

* * *

Also by Lynda Renham:

Coconuts and Wonderbras

(A romantic comedy adventure)

Literary agent Libby Holmes is desperate for her boyfriend, Toby, to propose to her and will do anything for him and if that means dieting for England then she’ll have a go. However, when Libby’s boss introduces her to her new client, Alex Bryant, her life is turned upside down. Alex Bryant, ex-SAS officer and British hero, insists Libby accompany him to Cambodia for a book fair. What she hadn’t bargained for was a country in revolt. Libby finds herself in the middle of an uprising with only Alex Bryant to protect her, that is, until Toby flies out to win back her affections. Come with Libby on her romantic comedy adventure to see if love blossoms in the warm Cambodian sunshine or if, in the heat of the day, emotions get just too hot to handle.