Crown of Steel (Chaos Awakens) (3 page)

Haley turned to face Kassa, that spark of anger flaring to life. "Yes, you should want to help him as well. After what he's done for you, you should be fighting harder than I am to go after him! I don't understand how you can just sit here day after day like nothing is wrong! The world is dying out there and we're not doing anything to help." Kassa looked away, as if unable to meet Haley's angry gaze. Not for the first time, the younger woman had the distinct impression that something was being kept from her.

"You're both cowards!" Haley snapped, regretting the words as they slipped from her lips. She'd let her anger get ahead of her there. She knew that neither of them were actually cowards. They were brave and strong people, but that was what frustrated her the most. Why did they refuse to help Xandrith if they were so capable? Regardless, the words had come out of her mouth and Haley wasn’t one to abandon her commitments easily, not even when she knew she was wrong. "I'm not going to just sit around here forever, not while he's out there fighting for us!"

Kassa had lowered her face to her hands. She raised her head and Haley thought she caught a glimpse of a tear streaking the woman's face. "You have to tell her, Johndin. You can't keep this secret forever."

Haley's eyes leapt back and forth between the old mage and the woman who'd become her trainer. "What secret? I'm tired of not knowing what's going on." Even as she pushed for answers a sense of trepidation crept over her.

Shawl set down his pipe with a shaky hand. His rosy cheeks had gone pale, and any cheer his herb provided had long since fled his face. "Haley, this isn't easy for me to tell you, but I've kept it from you for your own good. I didn't want you to harbor resentment, and I'd hoped with time it would be easier for you to understand. It's clear to me now that I should have come forward much sooner with this information. Time has not helped you, and your dedication to Xan is admirable." Haley was frozen in her seat and her heart hammered away in her chest as her stomach churned uncomfortably. It was as if she knew what Johndin was going to tell her. Perhaps she had even suspected it on some level.

"Xan did not leave the island the night he brought back Kassa. He was consumed by the mists." The old mage shifted uncomfortably in his chair, looking at his pipe longingly. "I warned him about the mists and the nature of the island at night. At first I hoped that he'd gotten off the island, but I checked the boat I have and it's still in its normal place. Swimming to shore is possible, but there was no evidence that he ever left the clearing. Then there were Kassa's words when we found her. 'Shade walked into shadows.' Xandrith was swept up by the mists of Dreamer's Isle. I hoped for a while that he would return - some people do - but as time went on I knew it wasn't to be. Xandrith is gone, Haley."

Haley sat in stunned silence. She was caught between horror and anguish, but a great wall of rage was welling up deep inside of her too. "That's not even possible." She said quietly as her emotions thrashed out of control inside of her. "Xan couldn't be killed by some stupid mist. You don't know that, Johndin. You can't! You're just guessing!"

Shawl shook his head slowly. "It's more than a guess, I'm afraid. I've used my magic to divine the connections. I know he went into the mist, and it is clear that he never came back out, Haley. I'm sorry child, but Xandrith is gone."

"That's a damned lie!" Haley shouted. "If Xandrith is gone then what have we been doing here all this time? Why would I be wasting my time training while the world is dying out there? Xan is out there right now, trying to save us, and we need to find him and help. You're a liar, Johndin Shawl!" Haley stood up, throwing her chair back with enough force to send it careening off the nearby wall. Johndin had gone quiet. He was looking tired and sad.

A hand touched Haley's shoulder and she jumped. She hadn't even seen Kassa move. "It's not a lie, Haley. After the confusion finally fled, I remembered Xan walking away into the mist and just vanishing. It was the first clear memory I had."

Haley shrugged the hand from her shoulder and stepped away. She didn't like to be touched. She allowed it during training, but Kassa was no friend of hers. Haley didn't want the woman thinking they were close, especially not now. "Did you think I would just forget him? Why have we been wasting all of this time training? What did you hope to achieve?" She wasn't sure who she was talking to, Kassa or Shawl, but someone needed to answer her questions.

"It was my fault." Shawl said quietly. "I'd hoped if we kept you working and training that you might begin to forget about Xan. I just wanted you to find some happiness in your life."

"Xandrith saved me!" Haley spat, her fists balled until her knuckles turned white. "How am I supposed to just forget about him? He's dead and you let me just keep hoping that he would come back. What kind of monsters are you?" Haley began to walk towards the front door. "I'm going after him."

Shawl jumped up from his chair. "You can't!"

Kassa was around the room and blocking the exit in a flash. "Haley, please, going out into the mist isn't going to help Xandrith. It's only going to end with another lost life. Do you think Xan would want you to kill yourself?"

Haley drew her dagger. "Do you think Xan would want me to stay here on this island while the world dies and do nothing? I'm not ready to accept that he's gone. Mist be damned, I don't believe Xan would die so easily. He is stronger than that. He's stronger than either of you know. Now I'm going out there to find him, and you can't stop me."

Kassa stood her ground. "You know that's not true, Haley. I can stop you. Put the knife away and think about what you're doing. You're angry and distraught, and that isn't the best frame of mind in which to make big decisions. Xandrith would have told you the same."

Death will not get us any closer to saving Xan.
Haley's inner voice spoke to her as if of its own volition.
He must be alive out there somewhere, but we shouldn't rush into the unknown. Not yet.
Haley let out a long sigh and returned her knife to its scabbard. Kassa was right, as much as Haley didn't want to admit it. A troubled emotional state was not conducive to making good decisions. Xan wasn't gone. Haley would find him, but she needed to plan.

Kassa looked relieved and maybe a little surprised. "We should talk about this. We can decide what to do next together. You don't need to be alone just because Xan is gone. I miss him too. Every day."

Haley frowned, stifling the desire to cry. She told herself she wouldn't allow that to happen. Xandrith wasn't dead, so there was no reason to cry. He just needed help, and she would find some way to give it to him. "I don't want to talk about any of this. Not yet, anyway. I need to be alone." She told the older woman. Kassa looked hurt for a moment, but she nodded and stepped away from the door, heading back to her seat at the table. There was really nowhere for Haley to go to be alone at night, so she simply slipped into a chair and closed her eyes, finding privacy internally if she couldn't externally.
Relax. Everything will be fine. We'll make sense of this all tomorrow.
She let out a shaky sigh, so upset that she didn't even notice that those thoughts hadn't originated from her own mind.

If Haley had hoped that morning would bring her more clarity, she was sadly mistaken. She awoke with a start before the sun had even risen with a cold sweat clinging to her body. She'd dreamt that she was chasing Xandrith through a dense fog. When she'd finally been able to catch him it hadn't been him at all, but instead an imposter dressed in his clothing. That's when the dream had gotten really disturbing. The Xan imposter had turned the chase on her. He'd come after her through the fog, his hands with fingers like steel claws chasing her through the void and reaching out to snag her and hold her down. His face had been locked in an evil grin that promised a poisonous lust, and his eyes had been aflame with a will to break and devour her. Haley stood up and shook her head as though the physical act might dispel the remainders of her dream. The fear and the sense of violation still clung to her. She felt a great welling of self-loathing roll through her. Since the murder of her family and her subsequent rape she'd battled with that inner hatred, and sometimes it threatened to consume her. She may have killed the bastard who ruined her life, but the things he'd done to her had left her feeling worthless. She fought every day to rebuild her confidence, but nightmares like the one she'd just had made all the shame at her violation and guilt over having survived when her family had died resurface as though it had only happened a few moments before.

Haley went to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The drink washed away some of the night's fog, but could do nothing for the heavy weight of shame that still sat upon her shoulders.
I'm ruined. Why do I even try?
She thought, but she immediately gave a low growl and pushed those negativities away. What would Xan say if he knew she was thinking like that? Xan was gone. Haley took another swallow of her water before heading to the front windows. The barest hint of color was touching the horizon. The sun would be rising soon. Haley squinted out the window, her eyes trying to find the tree line. For some reason she couldn't make it out at all, and it wasn't purely darkness that cloaked it. A heavy fog had settled into the clearing around Shawl's cabin. That was strange. The morning fog never came beyond the trees, or maybe she'd never been up early enough to notice it before?

As Haley watched, something large and darker than the night moved through the mist away from the cabin. The young woman started, her eyes going wide as she tried desperately to see what had moved with more clarity. There was something in the mists. The events of her nightmare flooded back through her mind and her heart began to beat fiercely in her chest. Could her nightmare have been some kind of portent of things to come? She didn't know, but the thought scared her more than she wanted to admit. She went immediately to Shawl.

"Johndin!" She called out, and was answered by a grumble. "Johndin Shawl, get up! There is something in the mist outside!" The mage almost jumped out of his bed.

"Something in the mist?" He said hazily as he slid his feet into his shoes and staggered his way towards her. "What did you see?"

"I was just looking out the front window and I saw something really large move through the fog away from the cabin." Haley explained.

"And you're sure you really saw it? It wasn't just your imagination?" He made his way to the front window as waking clarity began to dawn on him. A second later, as though he'd just realized something horrible, he added to his list of questions. "Wait, did you say there was fog around the cabin?"

"Yes." Haley said, feeling somewhat exasperated. Johndin wasn't particularly functional in the mornings. The mage almost ran the last few feet to the window. He pressed his face against the thick glass and looked out with an unpleasant expression on his face.

"This isn't right. This fog shouldn't be here. We're surrounded by fairyroot trees. I built my cabin here specifically because this clearing was surrounded. The glimmer mist can't come here!" Shawl was explaining things, but Haley wasn't entirely certain what he was talking about. She knew that the glimmer mist was some kind of fae weapon, and that it wasn't good for people. She wasn't certain what fairyroot trees were, or why Shawl was so upset about the fog. Certainly the glimmer mist couldn't get into the cabin? Fog didn't come inside.

Haley voiced her reasoning. "We're inside, so it's not really a problem. Fog doesn't come inside."

Shawl was shaking his head. "This isn't just a fog. This is glimmer mist, it's a type of fae magic. The cabin may keep it out for a time, but only because the walls are made from wood of the fairyroot tree, and even then I don't know how long that'll help. This is a very dangerous situation. The mists are not to be trifled with."

"Can you cast a barrier like you did to keep the sciarwolf away?" Haley's concern was rising.

"It would be like pitting my magic against the entirety of the fae magic in the area. It might hold for a second or two, if we were lucky. No, I'm afraid there is very little we can do but wait and hope the sun dispels the mist." Johndin was pushing his bed mangled hair back out of his face. "This is a very bad sign." He mumbled this last bit to himself.

Kassa approached, yawning and stretching as she came near the windows. "What's going on out there?"

"The glimmer mist is acting strangely, and I think there is something out there in it." Haley explained briefly.

This seemed to snap Kassa into a state of full wakefulness. "Something? What kind of something? What would be wandering around in that mist?"

Shawl answered the question. "If you saw something in the mist it's either the mist playing tricks on your mind, or the fae. It might have been an animal. They don't seem to have anything to fear from the glimmer mist, but it would be unusual for one to be wandering around like that."

"It wasn't an animal." Haley said quickly, not willing to let what she'd seen be passed off as some wild imagining or simply a mistaken deer. "Whatever it was, it was walking on two legs, and it was big. Taller and bigger than any man I've ever seen."

A shadow of worry passed over Kassa's face. "That sounds like it could be an Enforcer. I thought the Fae didn't live on this island."

Shawl was worrying at his lower lip with his teeth. "They never have before, but the mists have also never come into my clearing. If we make it to morning I'm afraid it may be time for you two to leave this place."

Haley looked at the mage in shock. "What do you mean 'you two?' If it's dangerous for us it's equally dangerous for you. You'll have to come with us."

Shawl shook his head. "I've never told you my story, but perhaps it's time that I do. There is little else we can do other than sit here and wait for the sun to clear the haze. There is a good reason I can't go with you when it's time to leave. Beyond Dreamer's Isle I'm dead."