Crush (12 page)

Brad’s hands entwined in his lap, and he was silent for a moment.

“Mom,” he finally said. “What if she lied? Is there any reason she might not have told him?”

“Well, she was never a big fan of me,” Karen admitted. “But she wouldn’t have done something like that. That’s too awful. She definitely would have told him. Look, Brad, I know that Tobin knew about you. Even if she hadn’t told him, I know he saw the pregnancy test and threw it out.”

Dad reached over and squeezed her hand, and the room filled with another uncomfortable silence.

“I don’t understand why he’d lie about this after twenty-one years,” Brad said quietly. “Is there any chance you actually threw the test in the trashcan and forgot that you’d done it? Or maybe it fell off the counter and into the can?”

Karen stared at him for a long time before speaking again. “I don’t think so, no. Bradley, I’ve never lied to you. I’m absolutely certain he knew, but if he’s contacting you now and saying these things, then I suppose…I suppose I have to admit that there may be the smallest chance he wasn’t aware. Perhaps his mother did lie to me. Perhaps the test fell off the counter and into the trashcan. I don’t know how, but…”

Her sentence trailed off. She looked deeply ashamed, and Dad put his arm around her. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “You tried your best to find him and tell him, and he was nowhere to be found. If his mother lied to you and didn’t tell him, then that’s on her, not you.”

She nodded, and her eyes began to tear up. “Bradley…I have my opinions of Tobin, and I’m sure you know that, but…he is your biological father. If you want to speak to him about this and remain in contact with him, then I won’t stop you.”

With that, she stood up and walked out, and my Dad followed her. I could hear her sobbing from the kitchen a moment later.

“Well, that was shit,” Brad said, a morose expression on his face. “I made Mom cry. Last time I did that was when I was seventeen and came home stoned off my face with a brand new tattoo on my chest. I never wanted to do that again, but I just did. I upset her again.”

I moved closer to him on the sofa and rubbed his shoulder. “It’s not your fault,” I said in a soothing voice.

“Yes, it is. I totally fucked that up. I made it sound like I was accusing her of lying.”

“No, you were just trying to get to the bottom of things. She never told Tobin to his face, so there’s a chance that he’s telling the truth about not having known about you till now. It’s not your Mom’s fault, and it’s not your fault. If anything, it’s his mother’s fault for not telling him, if that’s what really happened.”

He put his head in his hands and let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, I guess so. I still feel like shit, though. Do you think I should call him?”

“Do you want to?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Shit, I don’t know. I wanted to find out if he was telling the truth, and now I know there’s a chance he was. If it’s not his fault that he didn’t know about me, then shouldn’t I give him a shot?”

“I suppose so. But it’s okay to take some time to think about it.”

He nodded and sighed again. “I mean, why else would he be contacting me after all these years? It’s not like I’m some sort of billionaire he can scam a free mansion out of. He must actually want to get to know me.”

“Yeah, that’s true.”

“Fuck it. I’ll call him and see if he wants to meet me somewhere.”

“You sure you want to do that now?”

He nodded. “Yeah. May as well get it over and done with.”

“Okay,” I said, rising to my feet. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

“Wait…no,” he said. He reached out for my arm, and my skin sizzled from the touch of his fingertips. “Could you stay and sit with me while I make the call?”

I immediately sat back down. “Of course,” I said, taking his hand and squeezing it for a second before letting go. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”

We’d shared a few intimate moments in the past, but those moments paled in comparison with the intimacy of this situation. It wasn’t physical, but it was deeper than any kiss we could have shared, and something about it felt strangely right.

Deep down, I knew there was more to it, but I lied to myself and decided that we were just developing a serious sibling bond. This really wasn’t the right time to be thinking about it in any other way.

Brad gave me a tight smile and pulled a piece of paper from his pocket along with his cell phone.

“Well,” he said. “Here goes nothing...”

I watched him as he dialed the number and held the phone up to his ear, and one thing became abundantly clear to me as I took in his handsome features, cerulean blue eyes and powerful arms. Whatever I felt for Brad…it was more than just a crush.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

BRAD

“I cheated on her.”

My head jerked up to match Tobin’s hard gaze. “What?”

It was the day before Thanksgiving, and my father and I were out getting a beer together at a bar near USM. I’d met up with him three times in the last few weeks, and we were slowly getting to know each other better. Our first meetup had been like an hour-long Awkward-A-Thon, but we’d soon become used to each other’s personalities.

He’d confirmed for me that his mother had never passed on any of my mother’s messages before she died, and he’d sworn up and down that he’d never seen the pregnancy test on the bathroom counter all those years ago.

I knew nothing was going to make up for the fact that I hadn’t had a father for the majority of my life, but if he was willing to try and have a relationship with me, I was willing to do the same.

“You wanted to know why I left your mother,” he replied. “Why we were fighting. I’m not proud of it, but that’s what happened. I cheated on her with a coworker, and she found out. We tried to make it work for months afterwards, but it just didn’t. That’s when I finally left and ghosted on her.”

He sighed and then continued. “Believe me, I’ve regretted it ever since. I’d never do that to someone ever again.”

I nodded slowly. At least he was being honest. Most people wouldn’t admit to something like that, especially something that happened so long ago, but Tobin seemed to want me to know everything about him. The good, the bad, and the downright awful.

“I see,” I said. “Thanks for telling me.”

“No worries. Like I said, I want us to really know each other. We’ve got twenty-one years to catch up on. By the way, how’s your mother taking this? I hope I’m not causing problems for you two. She knows you’re seeing me, I presume.”

I looked down at the table. “Uh…yeah, she knows.”

“And?”

“And she isn’t too happy about it, but she said she won’t try to stop me.”

“I don’t blame her,” he replied. “All these years she thought I walked out on her because she was pregnant. She’ll probably never stop hating me.”

“But that’s not why you left. She knows that now.”

His forehead creased into a frown. “It’s been over two decades, Brad. That’s a long time to hate someone for something you believe they did, and it can be impossible to come back from that even once the truth is revealed. People become so set in their mindsets.”

“True.”

I didn’t expect my parents to ever be friends, considering the years of bad blood between them, but it would be nice if they could at least be civil towards one another. Considering my Mom’s views of Tobin, however, that might take a while….or it might never happen at all.

“Then again, I could be wrong,” he said. “Maybe she’ll be willing to put things in the past. I suppose you could talk to her about it one day, unless that’s too awkward for you.”

“Maybe. Anyway, I better head off,” I said, glancing at my watch. “I have to drive to McComb later.”

“Good thing you only had one drink,” Tobin said with a wink. “All right, I’ll head off. Shall we meet up again in a week?”

“Sure. How long are you in town for business, by the way? Forgot to ask you the other day.”

“Another few weeks, probably. Don’t worry, I can come visit from Illinois any time after I’ve gone back, or you could come up to see me. But that’s a conversation for another time,” he said, handing me some cash for the check before standing up. “See you later, son.”

His face tensed up as soon as he said that, and he shook his head. “Sorry. I meant to call you Brad.”

“It’s okay,” I said, holding out my hand for him to shake. “You can call me son if you want. You’re my Dad, after all.”

His eyes crinkled around the sides as he smiled. “Thanks. Well, have fun at Thanksgiving tomorrow.”

“I will.”

I crammed in a few hours of study before packing some things to take to McComb for Thanksgiving. As far as I knew, Mia was arriving there around the same time as me, and we were both staying for a couple of days.

I was lucky as hell to have someone like Mia in my life. Ever since my father had strolled back into my life and caused such a major upheaval, she’d been there to support me. She hadn’t even mentioned our almost-hookup at the Halloween party a few weeks back, and we were well on the way to becoming firm friends. I knew I still wanted more than friendship from her, but I needed to put those feelings on hold for now. Right now, I needed an understanding friend to share my bullshit with, and that’s exactly what she was. She always listened and offered helpful advice, and she was always right.

Just before I started the car, I sent her a text to see if she was already in McComb.
Hey. You’re still going home for Thanksgiving, right? Are you there already?

She replied ten minutes later.
Nope. On my way now. Just stopped for gas. You still coming?

Yep. About to leave. How are things with you, anyway?
I shot back.

Pretty good. Can’t wait for turkey! Also can’t wait for a break from all this study…You?

Same as usual. Been catching up with Tobin a bit. Also, Rose and Amanda are still refusing to leave me alone. So fucking annoying,
I said.

I didn’t know why I’d brought up Rose and Amanda. Did some deep part of me want to make her jealous? Nah, that wasn’t exactly it. I wanted to see if she still cared.

She took a little longer to reply this time.

Just don’t respond to them at all. And a word of advice…if you want decent women to like you, drop the whole frat boy act you put on around others. You’re great the way you are without all that bullcrap. Just be real. If you aren’t, then you’ll keep attracting all these crazies.

Okay, so she was right about that. What she didn’t know was that I didn’t care about attracting any other women. Nope, from the second I’d laid eyes on her, she was the only girl I cared about attracting.

Like clockwork, I got yet another text from Rose demanding to see me tonight, and I deleted it and stuck my key in the ignition before pulling onto the road. The drive was beyond boring without Mia to accompany me with all her funny, rambling stories like last time, and by the time I arrived in McComb, I was in dire need of some mental stimulation before I went insane from listening to whatever bullshit the radio had been playing on the drive.

I said hi to Michael as I walked into the house, and then I padded upstairs to talk to Mia. As I reached her bedroom door, I reached my right fist out to knock on it, but I drew it back when I heard my Mom’s voice coming from inside.

“I just wanted to thank you, sweetie,” she was saying. “Brad’s been a little distant with me lately over this whole thing with Tobin coming back into the picture. I know he doesn’t blame me at all, but he probably feels like he can’t tell me much about it, given my old feelings towards Tobin. I know he’s been talking to you a lot, and I know you’ve been there to help him out. So thank you, Mia. You two didn’t get along at first, but in these last few weeks, you’ve really stepped up and acted like a real friend and sister to him.”

“I’m happy to help,” Mia replied. “Brad is a great…brother. We’ve been getting along really well.”

I froze in the hallway, unable to process her words for a second. I couldn’t tell if she was referring to me as her ‘brother’ because of what my Mom had said about her being like a sister to me, or if she’d actually started to see me as a brother. Probably a bit of both. Maybe that was why she still hadn’t brought up what happened at Halloween. With all my recent drama over my Dad and the way she’d been there for me, maybe she’d started to see me as a real family member and no longer held any romantic feelings towards me.

Shit. If that was it, then I guess my feelings for her didn’t need to be on hold. They needed to be gone forever, and I had to start seeing her for what she really was to me now.

My stepsister, and nothing more. For real this time.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

MIA

Thanksgiving came and went, and the following weeks flew by at the speed of light. This semester had been crazy, and before I knew it, exams were over and it was a week before Christmas.

I sat by my desk in my dorm, browsing through Facebook and Instagram to see what everyone was up to. Tamara had gone to Georgia with Ben to visit some of his family, and seeing all the pictures they were posting made me realize I needed to get out and do something as well. I picked my phone up and hesitated, wondering if I should text Brad to see if he wanted to meet up somewhere to do some last-minute Christmas shopping for the family with me before we both headed to McComb for the winter break.

I wasn’t sure if he’d want to. He had a lot on his plate at the moment with all his studies, work commitments and new relationship with his father, and he’d been strangely distant with me these last few weeks. I wasn’t sure if I was only imagining it, but he’d certainly seemed that way. It wasn’t like I expected him to call and text every single day, but I’d gone from hearing from him quite often to only once a week.

Perhaps he still felt awkward about what had happened over Halloween. I still hadn’t brought it up with him, because I’d been too nervous to even mention it, especially while he had so many other pressing issues to worry about. I’d waited to see if he’d bring it up, but he hadn’t, so I assumed he wanted to just forget it ever happened. Oh well. I had no issues just being friends with him, despite what my hormones were telling me. I’d learned that he was a really great guy, and judging by how he’d asked me to be there for him during the situation with his Dad coming back into his life, he obviously needed close friends whom he could be vulnerable around. I guess his frat brothers weren’t exactly great for that.

I put my phone down and then picked it up again. I repeated that process three more times until I finally psyched myself up to message him.

Hey. How’s things? Do you want to meet up somewhere and do some Christmas shopping? I still need to buy some stuff for my cousins, Dad and your Mom.

He texted back a while later.
Sure, sounds great. I’m doing well. Not getting any gifts for me then? Haha.

I’ll consider getting you something…hehe. Where should we meet?
I replied, happy that he was keen.

We could go up to Jackson? I know it’s a pretty long drive for both of us, but there’s so many shops there. I know some of the best spots seeing as Mom and I lived there for a while, so we could grab some food afterwards
.

Sure. Any time preferences? Tomorrow is okay if you aren’t free till then.

Nah, how about today? I could be there by lunchtime,
he replied.

Cool. I’ll get dressed and start heading up there,
I said.

Sweet. Meet me at 12:30 at the Metrocenter?

I agreed to meet him there, and I took a quick shower before selecting an outfit for the day. Usually I’d dress in casual jeans or sweats to go shopping, but knowing that I was going to see Brad made me feel the urge to dress a little better. I selected a black skirt, cream-colored top, beige wrap-around coat and black pantyhose, and when I was dressed, I looked in the mirror with a satisfied smile. It wasn’t a revealing outfit, but it was nice, and the wrap-around coat nipped my waist in perfectly. I finished the look with the black ballet flats he’d bought for me on our road trip after Halloween.

There were a few road work closures going on, so it took me almost two hours to get to the Metrocenter in Jackson. When I finally arrived and hurried towards the main entrance, I saw Brad standing by a tall potted plant, grinning at me and tapping his wrist.

“I know, I’m late! Sorry!” I said, panting as I caught my breath.

“It’s okay. You look nice. Didn’t dress up for me, did you?” he replied with a wink.

I kept a straight face, trying to remain impervious to his charming good looks and mannerisms. “No, this outfit is just really warm,” I said.

“Right. Anyway, where to first?” he asked.

“I was thinking we could find a jewelry store. I want to get your Mom a necklace or something like that.”

“Good idea. She’ll love that.”

He led me to a small boutique jewelry store, and I browsed for a few minutes before spying a gorgeous silver and emerald necklace at the back of a display case.

“That’d be perfect!” I said. “The silver and green would go really well with her hair.”

Brad leaned in to take a look. “Yeah, that’s really nice. Kinda reminds me of one I got her when I was a little kid.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, when I was around eight or nine. You know how we didn’t have much money back then…well, one year I got a paper route, and I also did chores for neighbors like mowing their lawns, cleaning out their gutters…stuff like that. I saved up enough to buy her a necklace for Christmas that year.”

“I think I might have actually seen her wearing it a couple of times,” I said. “The filigree one with the little stones in the middle?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“Well, that was really sweet of you,” I said. “You must’ve been so cute as a little boy.”

“Are you saying I’m not cute now?” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant. You’re a repulsive ogre now,” I replied, sticking my tongue out and nudging him. I smiled at the sales assistant and asked her to ring the necklace up for me, and then I turned back to Brad. “Really, though, that’s such a cute story. I bet that was your Mom’s favorite Christmas ever. And yours too, for making her so happy with your surprise gift.”

He rubbed his chin. “Mm. I think every year was my favorite Christmas, actually. Even though we didn’t have much, we made it work. Have I ever told you about the tree?”

“No, I don’t think so,” I replied.

He grinned. “You’ll think this is fucking stupid. But anyway, we never had enough money to buy a big, proper Christmas tree with decorations. So every year, Mom would bring in this little potted fern from outside, and I’d make all these cut-out decorations from cardboard, including the star to go on top. That was always my favorite part of Christmas for some reason. I guess because it kinda showed that we didn’t need money to have fun over the holidays. We had each other, and that was all that mattered. Y’know, so many people don’t have families to be with over Christmas.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I said. A fragment of an idea was forming in my mind. “Do you still have that tradition?”

“Nah. When she married Vince, we started having a proper tree every year. It was never as good,” he said.

The sales assistant handed me my bag and receipt, and I smiled and followed Brad out of the store. We browsed around the mall for a couple of hours, and by the time we made it to the biggest department store in the Metrocenter, I felt like my legs might drop off.

“Ugh…I’m so dead,” I said. “What else do we need?”

“I still need to get Tobin something,” Brad said. “I was thinking I could maybe get him a tie. I don’t think I should get him something really big, seeing as we’ve only just met. It’d feel weird. I don’t know if he’s even getting me a gift.”

“I’m sure he is,” I replied, giving him a side-eyed glance. “A nice tie sounds good, though. How’s things with him, anyway?”

“Good,” he replied as we strolled past the kids-wear section of the store. “I told him about you. He wants to meet you.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Really?”

“Yeah. He’s happy that I have a stepsister who I’m actually friends with. Anyway, he’s cool. I think you guys would get along pretty well. He’s back in Illinois over Christmas, but he’s coming back here in a few weeks. I’d love for you to meet him, but only if you want to.”

“Okay,” I said, secretly ecstatic that he wanted me to meet his Dad. “We’ll set something up. Does he have a family in Illinois?”

“Sort of. He has a girlfriend, and she has three kids from a previous marriage. She didn’t want to have any more kids, so Tobin pretty much resigned himself to the fact that he’d never have any. Then he found out about me.”

“So you were like a little Christmas miracle!” I said. “Except I guess you’re not so little...”

“More like a Halloween miracle, considering when it happened,” he said with a grin. “But yeah, it’s pretty sweet. He’s got a lot of cool stories. I think he’s changed a lot from when he was younger.”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, he left my Mom because he cheated on her and she found out. He said they tried to make it work, but it just didn’t, so he packed up and left one day without telling her.”

“That’s the day she found out she was pregnant, right? And he didn’t know?”

“Yeah. He said he’s regretted how he treated her while they were together ever since, and the whole thing was a big kick in the ass to him. A sort of wakeup call telling him he needed to sort his life out and stop being such an ass to women.”

“Oh. What does he do now?”

“Some sort of consultant at a real estate conglomerate.”

“Cool,” I said, running my fingertips over the soft fabric of a lilac-colored silk and chiffon dress. “Oh God…sorry to change the subject, but I want this dress so much!”

“So get it then.”

I groaned. “I can’t. I’ve already spent way too much money buying everyone gifts today. It’s too expensive.”

Brad’s eyes twinkled. “Well, maybe someone will get it for you for Christmas,” he said with a wink. “By the way, you seem to have attracted a secret admirer.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Huh?”

“That shop assistant over there. She’s been sorta following us and staring at you since we walked in. Do you know her?”

He glanced over my shoulder, and I turned to follow his gaze. A blonde shop assistant with pinched features was looking right at me with a snooty expression on her face, and as soon as she realized I’d noticed, she dropped her gaze and hurriedly began to fold sweaters on a table.

I turned back to Brad and rolled my eyes. “I don’t know her. She’s only staring at me because she thinks I’m going to take stuff.”

“What? Why?” he said, absentmindedly touching the price tag of the dress I liked.

I crossed my arms and sighed. “Why do you think, Brad?”

He looked confused. Of course it wasn’t registering with him immediately. He’d never been racially profiled before.

Finally a look of comprehension dawned on his face. “Oh. Right. Are you fucking serious?”

“Yep. Happens more than you’d think.”

I glanced over my shoulder. The assistant was looking at me again, and I suddenly had an idea to embarrass her and get her off my back at the same time. I took a step closer to Brad, stood on my tiptoes and planted a big, lip-smacking kiss on his mouth. My heart raced as our lips soundly touched, and he stared at me with his eyes wide as I pulled away a second later.

“What was that for?” he asked, eyes crinkling up around the side.

“I thought if she saw that, she might leave me alone. No one wants to feel like a perv, watching other people and their PDAs,” I said bitterly, turning back to look at the assistant.

Her cheeks were slightly red now, and she was sorting through a rack of dresses, pretending she didn’t see us at all. Yep, that had worked.

“I see,” Brad said as we started walking again, towards the menswear section. He affected a louder voice as we passed the assistant. “So, baby, where are we going tonight for our date?”

I stifled a laugh, glad he was playing along. I knew it was pretty mean to embarrass the salesgirl for her attitude, but she’d been mean herself in following me around, assuming I was going to steal things because of the color of my skin. That kind of stuff really hurt.

“Here’s some ties,” I said, looking at a small display. “There’s more over there, though.”

“Cool. I was thinking grey? Or maybe blue.”

I grabbed a silvery-colored one off the rack to see what the fabric felt like, and Brad nudged me a second later.

“That girl’s looking at you again,” he said, looking back over his shoulder. “This is fucking bullshit. Hold on.”

He turned and walked back over to the assistant.

“Excuse me,” he said. “Is there some sort of problem?”

She looked startled. “Um…no, sir.”

“Well, it’s just that you’ve been following us around since we walked into the store and watching us quite closely. Especially my girlfriend.”

My stomach fluttered as he referred to me as his girlfriend. I knew it wasn’t real, but hearing it sent a jolt of electricity through my system.

“Sorry, sir,” the girl muttered. “It’s just…your girlfriend is…I thought she might have taken something and put it in her bag.”

Jeez, I hadn’t even touched my handbag the entire time I’d been in the store, let alone opened it. It had been hanging off my arm the whole time.

“Why?” Brad asked.

The girl didn’t answer, and Brad tapped his foot impatiently on the ground. “Do you have a problem with her because of the way she looks? Because I’ve seen at least ten other women in here skulking around with giant handbags, and you aren’t following them around. Maybe I should speak to your manager?”