Crushed (11 page)

He was glad it was
him
that
she collided with.

“Can I take you home?”
he asked. They
were both
soaked by then
.
He
had no intention of going inside now that
he
was so drenched.

“
No
!” And then she really started to cry. “I don’t want to go home. I can’t st
and being there,” she said into his
chest.

The minute she said those words
he
understood. Everyone knew that Cleo’s mom had
died less than two weeks ago. It was never determined if it was a suicide or accidental
overdose
.
Cleo was convinced it was a suicide. She
was the one to find her. At home
, where she did not want to go
at that moment.

There were all sorts of rumors floating around
. T
he one
he
thought
he
believed at the time—the one Cleo later confirmed—was that most likely
her
mom had meant for her husband to find her. The story was he’d been having an affair
. Cleo’s mom, to put it politely, wasn’t in her right mind. A
pparently she thought that was an apt punishment for him. But Cleo had forgotten part
of her work uniform and had to run home after school to get it. She was the one who
found her mom.

“Come on,”
Reece
said as
he
slid an arm around her waist.
He
thought she’d argue with
him
. S
he didn’t.
He
led her to
his
vehicle and drove her to
his
house. An hour later she’d finally
cried herself out and was sound asleep on
his
bed. Wearing—practically swimming in—a dry pair of
his
sweats.

He
didn’t realize until much later,
when she finally admitted to him
, that she didn’t sleep well most of the time. Her nights were plagued with nightmares,
memories of that day. When she crashed, she usually crashed hard.

After lots of pushing and prying on
his
part,
he
found out that the school secretary had walked by
. A
pparently she wore the same perfume that Cleo’s mom had worn. After holding everything
inside, being reminded of her mom like that, when she wasn’t prepared for it, it caused
her to crumble.

Maybe
he
should’ve gone into the other room to watch TV or something.
He hadn’t
.
He’d
grabbed a hunting magazine and
flopped
down next to her. At some point, sh
e sleepily tossed an arm around him
,
curling
right into
him
.
He
knew then
he
was hers for as long as she wanted
him
. And even longer than that, apparently.

There was a lot of hugging and handholding those first few months
while she recovered from the tragedy that life had thrown at her
. And kisses carefully placed on her cheeks and forehead. It was months before
he
got ar
ound to kissing her for
real. He
’d known who Cleo was since middle school. But it wasn’t until
the end of sophomore year that he
actually
met
her. The girl
he’d
met was a broken mess but slowly, with the help of Emma
and Reece
, she managed to put herself back together again.

Chapter
7

Paul cringed at the sight of the food on the table. “How damn hard can it be to make
a decent meal?”

Pretty damn hard
,
Cleo
wanted to tell him,
when I’m in school all day and then work for three hours after
.

She
worked at a little gift shop
that was
within walking distance from thei
r house
. In t
he summer, she
’d worked full-time. D
espite the fact that mean
t Luci was alone. A lot. But Cleo would
take her to the library on Saturday an
d Luci would stock up for the week. Now, she
only work
ed
two
night
s
a week and every
other
weekend
.

But even that g
ot
to be a lot
when she
was
trying to squeeze everything else in
. Dinner comp
laints were a nightly thing. She figured she should be used to it.
Or that
she
could ignore it
by now. Mostly she
did but that didn’t mean that it didn’t get old, too.

Tonight, she’d tried to plan ahead. She
’d put dinner in the
crockpot. Crockpots, as far as Cleo was concerned, were tricky to use. Or maybe she
’d just cut the potatoes too small. Eith
er way, the vegetables had turned to slop
.

“It’s not that bad, Dad,” Luci chimed in. She took a bite of
mushy
carrots.
D
espite the fact she hate
d
carrots even when cooked right
, just to prove her point. To her credit, she di
dn’t even cringe
.

“Don’t eat it then,”
Cleo
said with a shrug. “I’m sure you could find someone else to make you dinner.”
She knew she shouldn’t go there. Usually she avoided it at all costs. She
knew he was seeing someone, had been for years. It was the same
‘
someone
’
he’d been seeing before
her
mom died. Before he pushed her over the edge. Why anyone would
want
him,
she
could not comprehend. Despite the fact that apparently
her
mom had.

But everyone kn
ew
, most of all
Cleo, that her
mom
had not always made the best choices. Sometimes, she’d had trouble thinking clearly.
So knowing that, she
could excuse her for the mistake that had been her husband.

Cleo knew the lady’s name. She
even had a va
gue idea of where she lived. She had
found out from Emma, who had found out from her mom.
Being
Cleo’s
best friend, Emma
hadn’t wanted to keep it from her once she’d found out. Cleo kept to her
self that i
t was one piece of information she
could’ve lived without.

She’d
never had a desire to meet her, or eve
n see her.
A part of her hated this woman. Hated her for the part Cleo was sure that she played
in her mom’s death. And yet now, as much as she
despised
admitting it, now she was grateful for her.

Because
when Paul wa
s with
her
…It mean
t
he was not with
them
. And she
prefer
red
to have him gone. Fortunately, he
wa
s. Much of the time. Just not tonight.

“You got something on your mind, Cleo?” he asked as he dropped his fork onto his plate.
The sound seemed much louder than it should be. His voice was cutting as it boomed
through the room and Luci cringed.

“Dad, you should see the library at the middle school,”
Luci
said in an effort to pull the attention away from
her sister. “It’s huge. It’s so awesome!
Cleo isn’t even going to need to take me to the public library anymore. They have
almost every book on my reading list.”

Paul, of course, ignored her. Hi
s gaze wa
s on
Cleo
. “I asked you a question.”

“No,”
she
finally replied, just wishing he would leave. “Nothing on my mind.”

Only that
she
wish
ed
he would leave and n
ever come back. Or better yet, she
wish
ed
she
could take Luci and just go. Somew
here, anywhere. Just the two of them.
But
that wasn’t going to happen. Besides, Cleo knew Luci would
miss her dad. Even though he was a lousy one, he was
still her dad
. A
nd the on
ly parent she had left.

He stared at
her
for longer than necessary, trying
to intimidate her. It worked though she
tried not to show it. Then he pushed
back from the table so hard the chair
went flying
. She didn’t mean to flinch but she did as she flew back in her
own seat. In that same amount of time, Luci darted in front of
her
.

Paul just stood there glaring as
Cleo
scooted Luci out of the way.

“Sit down and eat,”
Cleo
whispered in her ear.

Luci
sat back down, hesitantly, not taking
her wary eyes off of her dad. Cleo did
n’t k
now if he meant to hit her
and he stopped because Luci was in the way
. O
r if he was just getting ready to storm out again.

“You just think about where you would be Cleo. If it weren’t for me, you think about
where you would be right now,” he said coldly.

She knew what he was threatening. He thought she
owe
d him the world because he let her stay
t
here. Never mind that she did more of the housework than her
mom ev
er
ha
d because even back then, Cleo always helped her out.

She
want
ed
to ask him where
he
would be if it weren’t for
h
e
r
.
Who would keep the house picked up? Who would do the laundry? The grocery shopping?
The cooking, no matter how inadequate? Wh
o would take care of Luci? But she
kn
e
w better.

He ha
d
n’t been drinking. Yet. But he
was still on edge. He hadn’t hit her for a while, though the summer had been bad.
Cleo’s anger had spiraled out of control and keeping her mouth shut had become too
hard. Her hatred of him ran too deep and it was hard not to antagonize him. He had
never hit her when he was
sober
, though
.
She knew there was
a first time for everything
.
She was
smart enough not to
provoke
him into making that first time be tonight.

She was
also sma
rt enough not to tell him that she would be fine without him. She had
worked hard—litera
lly—to make sure of that. He had no idea how much money she had managed to put away
into her savings account. It was an account her mom helped her to set up right after
she turned sixteen. Right after she got her
first job.

At first
, she had
started putting away just a little bit
. Then
this past year, she had put away every dollar she could. Paul had no idea just how
much Cleo worked the past summer because a lot of her
hours
overlapped his. If he kicked her out, as he had often
threatened to do,
she thought she had
enough money to get by
for at least a little while
.

The money was supposed to be for college
.
She
’d rather not waste it on rent
because she kne
w how fast it would go. B
ut it was a comfort to know it was there if she
need
ed
it.

“I don’t have to let y
ou live in this house,” he said. It was
as if
he
was
reading
her
mind and driving home his threat.

“
Dad
!” Luci exclaimed
. It
was
almost a sob.

Cleo didn’t
say anything.
She didn’t
want Luci any more upset than she already
was.

Cleo’s birthday was coming up soon. She’d be eighteen then. She knew what he was really
threatening her with was foster care. But that was
n’t going to be
a viable threat much longer. Cleo wasn’t
sure
if he was actually aware of this. Her birthday wa
s probably the l
ast thing on his mind.
She was
honestly
not sure that Paul even knew when it was. It wasn’t like it had
enough importance to him that he’d actually remember.

But even
then, she didn
’t plan on going
anywhere. No matter how badly she
might want to.

She’
d never leave
Luci behind. And Paul knew this.

“You think about that, Cleo. You just think about how lucky you are because I could’ve
kicked you out on your ass a long time ago.”

***

She
was
awake
again, way before her
alarm went
off. Sometimes, it seemed the more
exhausted
she
was
,
the harder it was to sleep. She’d
had
to work right up until
dinner time. After Paul’s tirade, he’d left. Then she’d had dinner to put away and
the kitchen to clean.
Luci hadn’t folded the load of clothes like she’d been asked. She claimed to have
homework
.
Cleo
had a hunch that
it had more to do with her class’
trip to the library
. She
was pretty sure
that she couldn’t tear herself away from whateve
r book she’d delved into
before Cleo
got home
. So after dinner Cleo ha
d
folded the laundry. H
elped Luci with the math homework she
always seemed to need help with. H
ad gotten
her
to bed and then spent a few hours doing
her
own homework.

She
’d tumbled into bed exhausted, yet wide awake, finally drifting off what fel
t like hours later. And now,
she
was awake again

Her
conversation with Reece
, that horrible conversation in the classroom,
seemed to be on an
instant replay.

And she
couldn’t
get memories from the past out of
her
head.

Fall, junior year…

“I need something to drink,” Reece said as he slid off his bed. “Do you want something?”

“Sure,”
she replied with a shrug. She sat up as she
watched Reece go. Then busied herself organizing the homework they
’d just finished.

“Is that girl here again?” Landon Hilde
n
brandt demanded as Reece entered the kitchen. His voice blasted
down
the staircase,
across the family room
to Reece’s open bedroom door.

“Dad—
,
” Reece started but Landon cut him off.

“Reece, I’ve told you I don’t want that
little gold digger
in this house!” he shouted
.
His voice was so loud.
Cleo
w
as sure it was his intent for her to hear him.

She
wasn’t stupid. His c
oldness toward her the two times that she’d met him had tipped her off that he didn’t
like her. She
hadn’t realized that, perha
ps, he went so far as to hate her. Reece hadn’t clued her in on the fact that she
wasn’t welcomed there. She thought
maybe, he hadn’t really understood the de
pth of his father’s hatred of her
yet, either.

“We’re just doing homework,” Reece explained.

“Find someone else to do your homework with! Did you purposefully set out to find
the biggest piece of trash in town? Her family is a disgrace! Her mother was certifiably
loony! Her father is a falling-do
wn-drunk
! He’d rob me blind if he had half a chance.
Don’t think for one second that girl isn’t after money.
I can guarantee the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and everyone knows it!”
He paused and
she
thought he was done. He wasn’t. “Are you
trying
to embarrass your mother and me?”

She
had tiptoed to the door.
She
was leaning against it
. Her
knees felt like t
hey were about to give out on her.

Her mother hadn’t been crazy. Despite how humiliated she felt because of what Landon
was saying about her, she was
livid over what he’d implied about
her mother. She had been quiet, withdrawn. She’d never been a very social person.
But she wasn’t crazy.

She
couldn
’t hear Reece’s response to his father’s accusations
. Whatever he said, he said it quietly. Or possibly,
her
out of control heartbeat had the blood sloshing so loudly in
her ears that she
simply couldn’t hear what he said.

“I will
not
keep my voice down! This is
my
house! Not yours! That means that
I
make the rules,” Landon boomed. “Do you know what her father is telling everyone
at the
mill
? That his daughter is screwing the boss’ son!
”

She
had been
mortified. Under other circumstances it would be laughable that
Paul claimed
her
as his daughter. H
e’d never done that before. But if it gave him what he thought were bragg
ing rights among his co-workers? Y
e
s, she
could see that happening.

She
was sick with the thought of Paul’s gossip but to be honest, n
ot at all surprised. She and Reece
had been together
half a year by that point but they
’d
barely done more than kissed. Cleo
wasn’t in the best place, emotionally. Reece w
as always cautious of that. That
was why he had, many t
imes, spent the night. He knew she had nightmares after her
mom’s death
and when things got bad, when she
hadn’t s
lept for days, he’d stay with her. B
ecause those nights, the nightmares stayed away.

One night
,
apparently
they hadn’t pushed her
door shut tight
. I
t had swung open while they
were sleeping.
For some reason, Pau
l had come home that night. He’d
turned on the light as he stumbled down the hallway in a drunken stupor. He realized
Reece was in her
bed before she could get up to shut the door.

“Don’t let Luci see you,” he ordered. It was the single most paternal comment he’d
ever made.

She
had expected him to
throw a fit
but he
’d simply pulled her
door shut. Tight thi
s time so Luci wouldn’t catch them. She figured since she
wasn’t his kid, he simply didn’t care. Or maybe he was, in some
perverse
way, pleased w
ith her
.

Reece was, after all, the boss’ son.

“If it weren’t for that damn contract, I’d fire his ass.
I’ve been looking for ways around it.
With this recession, I think I might have found a loophole.
”

Her
heart lurched at that. If Paul lost his job,
she
didn’
t know where that would leave her and Luci. He’d been hired when they had first
moved to town
,
right after Luci was born.
She
had a hunch that his reputation would keep him from getting a new job too easily.
For all of his drunkenness,
she
had to
grudgingly admit that he had miraculously managed to keep a steady job at the
mill
. A
mill
owned by Landon
Hildenbrandt
,
who employed
a good chunk of
the town.

She
started to panic that Landon would
come down
stairs and physically remove her
from h
is home. The humiliation of the
conv
ersation was already
too much
.
She
cou
ldn’t deal with anything more. She
g
athered her
things and crept
up
the staircase.

“As if this situation isn’t disgraceful enough I have to hear rumors of that bastard
bragging it up
every
day. It makes
me
look bad. It makes this family look bad. I know my workers are laughing their asses
. M
y son is slumming with the likes of the town drunk’s daughter. We want you to end
it with her. Now,” Landon commanded.

“Not happening,” Reece quietly told his father. “I love her. So you better get used
to the idea of us together.”

This was news to
Cleo as she edged her
way up the
stairs. Landon let out a colorful, hurtful, degrading string of expletives at Reece’s
proclamation
.

Cleo let her
self out
of
the front door.

She didn’t know how long she’d been sitting
in Ree
ce’s Navigator, out in the dark. W
aiting for him to realize
she was out there. She did
n’t know how much longer he argued with his father
. O
r how much time he sp
ent trying to figure out where she
’d gone.

It was long enough for her to pull herself together. Something she
w
as an expert at doing. Hiding her
emotions from people wa
s something she had mastered after her
mom’s death
.

But she
couldn’t always hide them from Reece. He co
uld find the crack in the wall she had
carefully constructed to hide what was really going on inside. He and Emma, they
were t
he only two who knew how often she
faked things back then.
How often she faked being happy or even just okay.

That night, when he finally found
her, she wasn’t sure which one of them
looked more mortified.