Crushed (35 page)

“Nothing is going on, Mom,” Emma said as she stepped in for
her friend
. “It’s just that Cleo and Luci have been home alone a lot. Paul’s spending a lot
of time with…” she made a face to indicate something, or
someone
, unpleasant.

“Ah,” Patty said, her expression turning to one of distaste. “He still has his mistress.”

Cleo
almost snorted in contempt. ‘Mistress’ sounded so prim and proper.
She
could think of a few much shorter words that were a whole lot more fitting for someone
like that.

While what Emma said was the truth,
they
both knew it wasn’t the reason. Otherwise
she and Luci
would be
at the Donovan’s
house
every single weekend. And then some.

“Just don’t forget to give him a call back,” Patty said. She turned to leave but swung
back around. “I almost forgot. We’re going out for dinner tonight. Elli has a recital.
We’d love to have you come along.”

“Thanks, m
aybe I will,”
she
fibbed.
She
knew it was a family dinner
. W
hile
she
knew they would make
her
feel welcomed,
she
didn’t want to intrude.

They
headed up
t
o Emma’s room. It had lavender
walls and a cream comforter
. Without meaning to,
she
could never stop contrasting it with
her
own, bleak bedroom with its white walls and worn out quilt.

Even Ethan’s room with its brown walls and brown and cream plaid comforter was so
much more inviting than
her
own.

Emma handed
her phone
to
Cleo
. There was no way
she
was going to call Paul.
She
wasn’t up for a confrontation of any sort.
She
simply sent him a text reminding him that Luci wasn’t with
her
and that she would be home on Sunday.

“So,” Emma said, “now that that’s taken care of, we need to talk.”

“And if I don’t want to?”
Cleo
tried.

“Too bad,” Emma said firmly. She
flung
herself down on her bed.

Cleo
sat next to her. She
scooted up to the top and grabbed a pillow. Just so
she
’d
have something to fidget with
.

“I know you were avoiding me last night. I let it go because I wanted to give you
some time. A
n
d Luci was here and she was already not acting like her usual, cheery little self.
But I saw the bruises.”
Cleo
hadn’t even bothered to tell Emma the same thing
she
’d tried telling Reece and Mr. Jessen. Yesterday at lunch, she had guessed what happened.
Cleo
hadn’t denied it. That’s why
Emma had
insisted Luci and
Cleo
come over.
Cleo
was grateful she hadn’t pressed
her
on it then
. B
ut not surprised that she was now. “How often does this happen? How long has it been
going on?”

Cleo
shrugged. “It doesn’t happen often. And only since my mom has been gone.”

Her
mom never would’ve allowed him to hurt
her. Cleo thought
Paul’s rage over what had happened, about people saying he was partially to blame,
was what had started it all. The first time he
’d hit her, she
’d made the mistake of telling him
she
thought it was his fault, too. That
her mom
would never have been so out of her mind if he hadn’t pushed her over the edge. He
had
slapped
her
across the cheek so hard the world flashed a blinding white.
She
knew what people meant when they said they saw stars. Only, that wasn’t it at all.
It was like an explosion of white-hot pain.

The time
she’d
told Reece
she
fell into the coffee table, of course it was lie. But
she
did
hit the coffee table. Paul shoved
her
so hard
she
went flying into
it. The contact with him would not have left a mark. But hitting the table had left
her
face a mess.
She’d ended up with a bruised cheek and a split lip.
She
didn’t know if that had been his intent
. O
r
if
pushing her into
the table had been an accident. Not that it mattered either way, the result was obviously
still the same.

Emma
pulled
a hand through her hair and tried to tuck it behind her ear. She still wasn’t used
to her short pixie cut and her hair fell right back into place. “How often?” she demanded
to know.

Cleo
shrugged. “Five or six
time
s.” It had been six
. It was impossible not to keep track.

“And Luci?” she asked.

“He’s never hurt her,”
Cleo
said defensively.
She
didn’t want Emma to think that
she
’d allow anything to happen to
her
sister.
She didn’t want to admit to Emma that last night, he’d come close. And that was the
reason she was talking to her at all.

“So it’s just you.” She said flatly. “That does not make it okay.”

“I never said it was okay. It’
s
just…”
she
shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know what to do about it.”

Emma looked affronted. “How about you start with telling someone! Me, my mom, Reece,
Mrs. Gaines. You liked her, didn’t you?” she asked of the school counselor. “Or better
yet, how about the police!?”

“And then what?”
Cleo
asked with raised eyebrows. “What would they do with him?”

Emma looked at
her
in disbelief. “I don’t know. Maybe he’d go to jail. Or prison. Or wherever it is
they send people like him. Because what he did, isn’t that assault or something? And
why the hell do you care what would happen to him?” She stared at
Cleo
for a minute and then it all fell into place for her. “Oh,” she said as she closed
her eyes and her shoulders slumped. When her eyes flew back open
Cleo
saw the first flicker of understanding. “If Paul gets sent away, you and Luci would
have nowhere to go.”

“Right.” It always, always came back to that.

“You could stay here. You heard my mom. You’re welcome anytime,” Emma pointed out.

“Staying a few nights and the two of us moving in indefinitely
? That is
nowhere near the same thing. And even if your mom didn’t care, it’s not that simple.
I’m sure there would be a social worker involved and I don’t even know what else.
I know it’s way too much to ask of your family. And I couldn’t be sure Luci and I
wouldn’t be separated,”
she
explained. “And even now? I’m legally an adult but what would happen to her?”

“I don’t know,” Emma said quietly as she shook her head. “But maybe it wouldn’t be
a bad thing. Maybe if Luci was with foster parents, they’d let you see her all the
time. You’re too young to have to take care of her like you do. Maybe it would be
better for both of you.”

Cleo
stared at her in silence, stunned by what she had said. “I’ve been taking care of
her for years,”
she
finally reminded her. “Why would I ever be willing to give her up now?
I’ve lost my
mom. I almost lost Reece and when he finds out the truth, I still might
. I can’t lose Luci. I just can’t.
”

“Cleo,” Emma said and her tears came out of nowhere. Suddenly they were trekking down
her cheeks, “
I’m sorry about your mom. But you haven’t lost Ree
ce. And you aren’t going to lose
Luci. But
I can’t do this. I can’t let this happen and just sit back and not say anything. My
mom will help you. We both know she will. Between this and what’s going on with Reece,
I just can’t keep up with the secrets or the lying.”

Cleo
nodded, feeling
her
own tears burning behind
her
eyes.
She
mentally shoved them away. “I know. I never should’ve pulled you into the mess with
Reece.” And if
she
could have kept her from finding out what Paul had done,
she
would have.

“
Ugh
!”
Emma
said in exasperation. “That’s not what I mean! You’re already keeping too many things
from me. What I mean is this is too much! It’s too much for me and it has to be too
much for you! You’re exhausted. You never sleep. I can tell how
unhappy
you are. And all of that was before!” She motioned to
her friend’s
body. “And now this?! Something has to give, Cleo!”

She knew Emma
was right.

“Eit
her you tell Reece what his dad did
last spr
ing because he deserves to know, o
r I tell my mom what happened with Paul the other night.” 
Cleo
blinked at her ultimatum.
Emma
looked apologetic but
Cleo
knew her well enough to know that she was not going to back down. “One or the other.
But you can’t keep carrying all of this with you all of the time. I’m sorry if you
hate me for it. But I can’t keep all of these secrets for you.”

“I don’t hate you. I could never hate you,”
Cleo
told her. That didn’t mean
she
liked what she was doing. Even if
she
did understand it. But
she
was sure that
Emma
didn’t understand the repercussions this would have for
her
.
The familiar sting of panic started coursing through her again. She could feel her
heart speed up and her breath caught in her throat.
“I get why you would want me to do this, but both are going to end up with the same
result!”
she
cried. The tears that
she
had shoved away earlier were threatening again. “Either way, I’ll lose my sister!”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Emma told
her
. She put a reassuring hand on
Cleo’s
elbow. It brought
her
no comfort at all. “And whatever happens, it would have to be better than what you’re
dealing with now.”

“You don’t understand,”
Cleo
told her. And
she
knew no matter how
she
tried explaining it to her, she never would. Luci’s small, fragile voice echoed in
her
mind.
Cleo
could hear
Luci
telling
her
she didn’t want to be alone.
Cleo
didn’t want to be alone either.
She
wanted to be with her
sister
.
She
had promised her that
she
would make sure that happened.

“Are you going to talk to Reece?” Emma pushed. “Or do you want me to talk to my mom?”

It wasn’t a threat but it suddenly felt like one.

“Reece,”
Cleo
said without hesitation. “I’ll talk to Reece.”
She
knew that after today,
she
was going to have to anyway. Emma didn’t need to know that
she
had already made up
her mind
about that. She had thought agreeing,
saying the words out loud
,
would bring about a sense of dread. That they would drive home that
she
was about to do something with severe consequences. But the moment they were out
of
her
mouth, all
she
felt was a sense of relief.

“Okay,”
Emma
said with a nod
. She looked as relieved as Cleo felt
. “Do you promise?”