Crushing (12 page)

It felt good to be in his arms, but I couldn’t keep this up. I pulled back. “Dom, I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not sure what I’m feeling right now. I don’t want you to get hurt. Can you give me some time?”

He sat back in his seat and looked out the windshield. “Yeah. Okay.”

He started the truck. As we headed home, I felt like there was a weight on my heart. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but I didn’t know how not to. Any of the outcomes I could think of left someone hurt. High school sucked.

#

This time it’s a different voice. A singsong voice. Not soothing. Creepy. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I open my eyes and all I see is blackness. Pleading. Someone is pleading. Then there is thumping. A screech and then nothing. I can feel the tears pouring down my face.

I woke up with a feeling of dread. What was I going to do? How can you like two people at the same time? I didn’t feel the same about them at all; I liked them both differently. On top of that, I couldn’t stop thinking about scary guy in the SL room. My skin got all crawly, and I just wanted to forget about it. Unfortunately, the feeling wouldn’t go away. Maybe I needed a shrink. Instead, I asked my mom if I could invite the girls to the BBQ. Laken was at her grandma’s again, but Veronica would be here.

After church I helped my mom get the food ready. The weather had cleared from last night and it had warmed up, so my dad heated the pool. I was setting up the sodas at the bar in the back, when Veronica arrived.

“Don’t put the soda on that end. That’s not good for the flow. Here, let me.” Veronica always knew exactly how a party should be set up to make it flow for the venue. She could look at a room and tell you where all the tables should go, where the food should be laid out, and how to time the entire thing. I always told her she should be an event planner. She picked up the metal bin and was moving it to the other side of the bar, when Jackson came out.

“Hey there, now, don’t be doing the heavy lifting when you can ask the muscle to do it for you. That’s all we’re good for, remember?” He grabbed the container out of her hand and carried it, like it was nothing, to the other side.

“I didn’t say that’s all
you’re
good for, but some men, definitely,” Veronica joked. “Some are only good for looking at.
You?
You’re good for other things. Like to make fun of because you make it so easy.”

She loved my brothers almost as much as I did, but she and Jackson had kind of a strange relationship. They were either fighting or in a corner somewhere solving the world’s problems.

“I’m crushed. Here I thought I was a cool college guy now.”

“Uh, no. I’ve seen you after you’ve been studying and haven’t showered for three days. You can’t go back to cool after that.” She shuddered for effect.

“It wasn’t three days. I had stayed up for two. It was finals. Sheesh.”

Veronica was behind the bar setting up the waters and ice. “You had some kind of foreign substance in your hair, and it was stuck to your head. So not cool.”

“Didn’t know you were looking that close. It’s my fabulous good looks, right?” Jackson moved so he was standing right in her space, and he looked down at her. “I’m the better-looking twin, you know, the original? Jeremiah? He’s the carbon copy.” He winked at her, grabbed a soda, and went back through the French doors.

“He’s so full of himself,” she said, but I noticed her cheeks were a little flushed.

“He just does it to get your goat. He’s only like that when you’re around.” I was keeping my opinions to myself on what I really thought. They were going to have to work it out on their own.

“So, are you okay after last night?” She stopped organizing to look me in the eye. “I mean really okay? You were pretty freaked-out last night.”

“I’d rather not talk about it. My parents kept me up for an hour with an inquisition when they got home. I just want to forget about it.”

“I just can’t figure out who would do something like that.”

“Ronnie, can we talk about something else?”

“Sure. Soooo, Dom, Gage, and Holden all here together. Worried?”

“Maybe we should go back to talking about scary guy.”

“Nope. This is much more interesting.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

“Well, the word on the street is that Dom is not going to get out of the way for anyone. So be prepared for the full-court press.”

“Good grief. How did I get here? I can’t believe how boring my life was a month ago.” I sat down on one of the lounge chairs by the pool, and she sat on the one next to it. I laid back and covered my eyes with my arm. “I don’t know what to do. Dom told me last night to give him a chance to prove he was the right choice. I want to, but when I danced with Gage it felt right, you know?” I peeked out from under my elbow.

Veronica was looking out toward the beach. “Yeah, I do.”

“How do I choose? How do I keep from hurting someone? I don’t even know who the right choice is for me. I am a completely selfish person. I hate me.”

Veronica started laughing. “You’re ridiculous. You’re trying to do the right thing. Those guys are putting pressure on you—it’s not the other way around. You need to live with it for a minute. I’m pretty sure the answer will happen whether you like it or not. For now let’s lay out so we don’t blind everyone with our whiteness. Where’s the sunscreen?”

I got up and grabbed the bag I had brought outside to the pool. We stripped down to our bathing suits and sprayed on the SPF. She was right. I needed to take a break from the stress. Especially after last night. A day by the pool was what I needed. Those dumb boys were going to have to get along or deal with the adults. What. Ever.

We enjoyed a brief hour of peace and quiet by the pool. All too soon we heard the pounding of feet and the hollering of Southern boys on a mission. Jeremiah, Jackson, Holden, and Dominic ran at the pool like a pack of wild boars. They all jumped in practically at once, and I wondered if there would be any water left; the waves were so huge. Veronica and I squealed and then decided to jump in after them. It was definitely an “if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em” kind of moment. They would have just kept splashing us until we got in, anyway.

We quickly got involved in an epic battle of King of the Raft. Veronica and Jackson, Jeremiah and Holden, and Dom and I. While the boys wrestled for a spot, Veronica and I would just clamber up their backs and jump into the raft. We would hold on for dear life but would be quickly tossed over their heads, only to start all over again. The winners were the last team on the raft when everyone else was finally too exhausted to continue.

We were in the heat of it. Dominic and I were on the raft, and he had his arms over me trying to keep us both in, when Holden and Jeremiah upended it. Both of us toppled into the water in a heap. Dom and I came up sputtering and laughing with his arms around my waist.

When I shook the water out of my eyes, Gage was standing at the edge of the pool watching. He had his sunglasses on so I couldn’t see his eyes, but his expression wasn’t friendly.

“Hey. You’re here.” I smiled up at him. He looked gorgeous as usual. He had taken off his shirt and was just wearing swim trunks. Oh. Man. And how was it he was golden tan in February? Oh yeah, he had been living in Florida. Totally unfair.

“Looks like you’re having fun,” he said, unsmiling.

“We were,” Dom said under his breath.

Here we go to the land of awkward and uncomfortable. Again.

“Rory, come on! We have to get back in it.” Dom was tugging on me to get back in the game.

“I think I’m done, Dom. I’m going to get out.”

Dom gave me a look. “Okay.” He squeezed my waist. “We make a good team. We totally had them.”

Veronica swam over. Bless her. “I’m out. I’m already beat up. Hey, Gage.”

“Hey.” He gave her the upward head nod. Since when were they friendly?

“Dom, they’re playing guys only now. No more going easy for us girls,” Veronica told him.

“Yesss.”
He swam off.

“You can join if you want.” I pointed to the raft.

Gage chuckled. “
That
would probably be bad for my health. I’m pretty sure I would end up at the bottom of the deep end.”

Veronica laughed. “Yeah, I think you would be taking your life in your hands there.”

I scowled at both of them. I didn’t find this subject funny. Veronica and I moved over to the steps and got out of the pool.

“I’m going inside. Anybody need anything?” Veronica asked.

“Nope, thanks.” I headed to my lounge chair to dry off.

“I’m good.” Gage plopped down on her chair.

I took off my wet T-shirt and was drying off.

He raised his eyebrows. “You always swim with a T-shirt on?”

“Only when we play King of the Raft. It’s a necessity, unless I want to have an embarrassing moment.”

“Ah. I thought maybe you were trying not to blind us all.” He was smirking.

I gave him a dirty look. It was rude to be so smug about tanning easily. Some of us were naturally, blindingly white. It wasn’t a choice I made. He certainly wasn’t spending his time trying to flatter me.

“That game looks a little violent,” he said, pointing to where the rest of the boys were still battling it out.

“It’s a blast, but I almost never win. Too little. It’s why we play teams. Otherwise it wouldn’t be fair.” I started spraying on some more SPF.

“And are you always on Dom’s team?” Now we were getting to the real issue behind his mood.

“Gage. Stop.” I huffed. “You said you’d try.”

He leaned back in the lounge chair. “I gave you my condition, and he’s already broken it.”

“What are you talking about?” What was his problem?

“He had his hands all over you.”

I didn’t think he was even looking in my direction, and with the sunglasses I still couldn’t read his expression.

“We were playing King of the Raft. There’s touching involved. It’s how it works. Besides, I never agreed to this condition.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Can we move on?” So annoying. Why did he think he had some right to decide what I did and didn’t do and with whom? I lay down on my lounge chair. I didn’t want to argue, but I was getting sick of the possessive attitude. He has never even asked me out. We needed to talk about something else.

“How’s Bailee doing? Does your uncle like her yet?”

We spent the next half hour lying in the sun and chatting about Bailee’s latest escapades. Apparently she had not been endearing herself to the gardener with all the holes she was digging, and the mailman was not her biggest fan either.

“Oh my gosh—how did she get out?” I was laughing so hard my eyes were watering.

“Apparently Mrs. Curtis, our housekeeper, was taking out the trash, and Bailee saw the mailman over by the mailboxes. She bolted through the door, and Mrs. Curtis couldn’t catch her. I heard her barking, but by the time I got out there Bailee had him pinned in his little mail truck at the end of the cul de sac. I have to say she doesn’t care for him much.”

“I can’t believe she did that.”

“Me either. The mailman didn’t find it as funny as I did.”

At this point the guys had all made their way out of the pool. They were sitting on the chairs at the opposite end. It felt so awkward, but I wasn’t going to let Gage sit here by himself.

Holden was drinking. He had snuck beer out of the cooler. I had a feeling he had been drinking before he got here. I had smelled it on him when we were in the pool.

I saw Dom’s sister, Makenzie, making her way over to Jackson. She had always had a thing for my brother, but the feeling was not mutual. He tried to be polite, but I think it got annoying sometimes. I looked to see what Veronica was doing. She was helping my mom put out snacks. I saw her glance at Jackson and Makenzie, and her smile went flat. I wished I could help, but I knew there was nothing I could do.

“I need to go inside. I’ll be back.” I went in and used the restroom. When I came out, I decided to grab another veggie tray out of the fridge for the bar since the adults had commandeered the snacks on their table.

I bent over looking in the fridge for the tray, when I felt a body behind me. I stood up and turned around fast. Holden grabbed my shoulders and started rubbing.

“Aurora, you look beautiful today. What are you doing hanging out with that meth head? Come hang out with us.”

“Can you let go please?”

Holden had gotten more and more forward with me recently. I don’t know if he thought he liked me or it was just the alcohol talking. I tried to push him backward, but he didn’t budge. He leaned in and brushed my neck with his mouth. This was getting out of hand.

“What? I thought you liked having guys hanging all over you.” He tried to pull me closer. “You seem to be collecting them. I thought I’d get in line.”

“Holden, stop it.” I tried to lean away from him, but the refrigerator was in the way.

“You don’t seem to mind having Dom and Maddox cozying up to you. What’s one more?”

“Holden, let go. Now.” I was starting to get a little panicky. If I called for help, a drama would ensue. I wanted to handle this myself, but I wasn’t sure I could. He was one move from getting my knee in his groin.

“You need to back away from her, now, before I smash your face into the back of your skull.” Gage stepped through the French doors into the kitchen.

Holden let go of me and turned around. He smirked at Gage. “Not up for more competition? Is that it, l-l-loo-loser?”

Gage moved toward Holden with a determined look in his eye. This was getting serious quickly.

I stepped away from the refrigerator and closed the door.

“Okay. Enough.” I moved in between them and put my arms out to hold them apart. “No fighting.” They both completely ignored me and were moving in closer.

Jackson walked in from the backyard. Gage and Holden froze in place, even though my brother seemed oblivious of the situation that was ramping up.

“Rory, do we have any more of that dip Mom makes?” He opened the fridge and stood there looking inside.

“Uh, maybe on the bottom shelf.”

Gage and Holden were still glaring at each other, and I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone.

He reached down and grabbed a bowl from the shelf. He sauntered over to where I was standing, grabbed my arm, and pulled me forward toward the French doors. “Break anything in my mother’s kitchen, and she’ll kill you both. Slowly,” he said over his shoulder as we moved outside.

“What are you doing?” I hissed. “They are going to brawl in there.”

“No they’re not.” He let go of my arm and grabbed a bowl of chips off the bar.

“How do you know?” I was so confused. Why would he just leave them in there?

“Breathe, Rory. It’s fine.” He sat down in his chair with a contented sigh. “I love this stuff.” He dug into the dip.

Sure enough, when I turned around, Gage and Holden were already outside again and heading to their separate corners of the yard.