Crystal (31 page)

‘Yes, we need to talk, don’t we?’ Jake said. For the first time since they’d broken up he gave her his sexy grin which sent her stomach into free fall.

Half an hour later Crystal was frantically rifling through her clothes for the outfit that said, I still want you, take me back. Thinking that she was going to be spending most of her time filming or in a bikini, she hadn’t packed much and her choice was limited. In the end she settled for the only dress she had brought with her – a slinky black backless number – but to make it look like she wasn’t trying so hard she put on flat gold gladiator sandals instead of heels and kept make-up to a minimum.

Let him still want me, she prayed, making a final check on her appearance in the mirror.

She met Jake downstairs in the guesthouse but he didn’t make any comment on her appearance. Instead, he asked how she was feeling.

Horny –
Crystal was tempted to say because Jake looked delicious . . . but she kept that opinion to herself as they travelled in the taxi to the restaurant.

The first thing Crystal wanted to do when they sat down at their table was to order a bottle of wine – she needed a drink to give her confidence – but just as the waiter handed her the wine list Jake said, ‘We’ll just have water, thanks.’ And to Crystal he added, ‘I think you should leave it another twenty-four hours before you have a drink.’

‘Whatever you say, doctor,’ Crystal said, and she couldn’t resist giving him a flirtatious look from under her lashes. Unfortunately Jake seemed oblivious and studied the menu instead.
Oh God, maybe he just wanted us to clear the air and to be friends . . .

For the first part of the evening it felt like they were making polite conversation, as if they were just acquaintances. Jake asked how her work was going (that was a short topic as she hadn’t worked at all); he asked after her brother and about her stay in Brighton. She in turn asked about his work and the trip to Australia. Finally, Crystal couldn’t stand the pretence any longer – as far as she was concerned there was a fucking great elephant in the room, the reason why they split up – and if they didn’t talk about it soon she thought she would explode.

She blurted out, ‘So you said you wanted to talk?’

Jake smiled. ‘You’re right; enough of this small talk. Okay, here goes. When we split up (“correction”, Crystal wanted to say, “when you left me”, but she let it go) I didn’t want to know anything about what had happened between you and Max. I decided to think the worst. But seeing you again has changed everything. I want to know the truth. Will you tell me? And this time I promise to listen.

And not judge
, Crystal wanted to say, instead she took a deep breath, knowing that everything hung in the balance. She told the whole sorry story of her fling with Max.

‘Bastard!’ he exclaimed, hitting the table with his fist when she told him of the rape and subsequent blackmail. ‘Where is he now? I’m going to teach that lowlife a lesson. How could he do that to you? You should have told me!’ Then he added, ‘Of course, I didn’t give you the chance, did I? If he ever tries to contact you again, I want you to tell me. I don’t want that shit anywhere near you.’

Crystal had never seen Jake look so angry before –
did that mean he still cared? Or would he be like this if it was any other woman?
Jake looked as if it was taking all his self-control to calm down.

‘It’s all over now,’ Crystal replied. ‘He knows he can’t get anything from me any more.’

Jake ran his hand over his short blond hair and gazed at Crystal. ‘I’m so sorry Crystal. I totally let you down, didn’t I? I suppose when the Max thing broke it just took me back to what happened with Eve. I missed saying goodbye to my gran in hospital because I was so caught up in my relationship and I don’t think I’ve forgiven myself for it. So instead of dealing with difficult situations, I run away. When I heard about Max, I thought it was easier to cut it all out of my life.’

He looked so sad. Crystal reached out and held his hand and as she did he saw the tattoo on her wrist.

‘So what does your tattoo mean then?’ he asked.

Crystal hesitated before answering. She really didn’t want to frighten him off – ‘It’s a J.’

Jake raised her wrist to his lips and lightly kissed her tattoo, then said, ‘You know what mine says, don’t you?’ He rolled up his T-shirt, revealing the tattoo across the top of his arm. She couldn’t resist running her fingers across it.
He hadn’t had it removed. Did that mean there was a chance?

By now they were the only couple left in the restaurant and their waiter kept looking at his watch in a very obvious way, but Crystal didn’t want to break the spell of intimacy
between them, worrying that a change of scene might cause Jake to back off again.

‘We should go,’ Jake said, signalling for the bill.

Crystal reached for her wallet to pay her share, but Jake shook his head.

‘Let’s go back to the house and maybe I could let you have one brandy. I think we could both do with a drink.’

During the taxi ride back, Crystal’s mind went into overdrive analysing his words –
why could he do with a drink?
He was so shocked by what he’d heard? Or was it just that he felt sorry for her? Did he feel anything for her still? Was he concerned for her just as a friend? Or did he feel something more for her? She had no idea. God, he could be so frustrating! She’d forgotten how unreadable he could be at times. But after he’d shut the door behind them he reached out and gently put his hand up to her face, tracing a finger along her jaw line, down her neck and then up round her mouth, and then he dipped his head down to kiss her, and as their kiss became more passionate and more intense he didn’t seem so hard to read any more. They didn’t make it up to the bedroom, only as far as the elegant marble staircase. Desire had overtaken both of them and to wait even a second longer to touch, taste each other’s bodies, and to make love, wasn’t possible.

‘I missed you so much, Crystal,’ Jake whispered afterwards, gazing into her eyes.

Crystal’s heart leapt. Okay, he hadn’t said he loved her, but he missed her, that meant something. ‘I missed you too,’ she whispered back, thinking that the words didn’t even come close to the intensity of her feelings for him. And then, because she didn’t want to reveal how emotional she felt, she joked, ‘I wish Dallas didn’t have such a thing about marble. What’s wrong with a nice bit of carpet?’

Jake stood up and held out his hand to help her up. ‘Let’s go to bed.’

‘
COME BACK TO
mine,’ Jake said as they waited to pick up their luggage at Heathrow. They’d spent two idyllic days together. It was almost as if the break-up had never happened – they’d made love for hours and lay in each other’s arms, talking, seamlessly slipping back into their old relationship, or so it felt to Crystal. She longed to ask if these two days meant that they were together again, but fear of rejection kept her silent.

‘I should unpack,’ Crystal started to say, wanting to go with him, but wondering if she should play it cool.

‘Come back,’ Jake repeated. ‘I’ll make you dinner.’

‘And what should I do?’ Crystal asked flirtatiously.

‘You can provide dessert.’

But it seemed someone had already started cooking at Jake’s flat – when he opened the front door, the first thing they both noticed was a delicious smell of roast chicken.

‘Wow, I am impressed,’ Crystal said. ‘You can cook remotely?’

‘Shit,’ Jake said, running his hand over his head in exasperation. ‘I’d forgotten. Stella’s here.’

‘Crystal looked at him questioningly and he went on, ‘Yeah, she’s staying here while her flat is redecorated.’

‘I thought I heard you.’ Stella came into the hallway. She looked pretty in a figure-hugging blue cashmere sweater dress and understated make-up, far too pretty for comfort.

‘Crystal – nice to see you again,’ Stella said, walking over and kissing Crystal on each cheek. Crystal thought she
sounded insincere. She’d obviously been planning a cosy little dinner with Jake.

‘Jake didn’t tell me to expect you; so sorry, I’ve only cooked enough for two.’

She was acting even more possessively round Jake than she had before. ‘That’s okay, Stella, we’ll just shower and then I’ll take Crystal out,’ Jake replied.

For a second, Stella looked sulky, not doing herself any favours, then she snapped back into her Little Miss Perfect routine.

‘I’m sure it will keep for lunch. I’ve written down all your messages. You’ve got a shoot first thing tomorrow.’

‘Thanks, Stella,’ Jake said, carrying the luggage through to his bedroom.

There was plenty Crystal wanted to say about Stella staying at Jake’s, but she reasoned she was probably on shaky ground to start making any demands. Instead, when the bedroom door was safely shut behind them, she wrapped her arms round Jake and said, ‘Let’s have a shower together to save time’, which really meant
let me seduce you in the shower so you can forget about how good Stella looked . . .

‘I thought this was meant to save time,’ Jake said a while later as they lay on the bed entwined in each other’s arms in a post-sex haze.

‘Would you rather have gone straight to the restaurant?’ Crystal demanded.

‘No, I would not.’ He paused to stroke her hair and then delivered a blinder. ‘You really are the blowjob queen, aren’t you?’

For a split second Crystal thought she must have imagined what Jake had said. ‘Blowjob queen’ had been one of the things Max had said about her in the press. Her face must have betrayed how upset she was because he looked rather sheepish and said, ‘Sorry, that came out wrong.’

Crystal pulled out of his embrace and started searching for her clothes which were strewn all round the room. She had vowed to herself that, after the way Max had treated her, she
would never let a man make her feel like shit again, not even Jake.

‘What are you doing?’ Jake said.

‘I’m getting my stuff together and going. And you can think about how I would never say something so cruel to you. I told you what he did to me! Why do you have to bring him up now? Don’t you think I want to forget all about him?! And I’m not going to sit here and act like what you said didn’t hurt because it fucking well did.’

Crystal wanted to stay cool but in her emotional state couldn’t help raising her voice. No doubt Miss Goody fucking Two Shoes would be listening in and loving it.

‘Crystal, I’m sorry, please don’t go. I was totally out of order. I know it’s irrational but I can’t help hating what happened between you and him. I should have never have read the details but I did. Jesus Christ. He’s the one I want to hurt, not you!’

‘Well, you’ve got to find a way of dealing with it,’ Crystal said more softly, ‘or what chance do we have?’ She was still tempted to leave, but Jake got up and held her tight, murmuring, ‘Forgive me. I want us to get back together again, I really do.’ But his comment took some of the shine off their reunion and Crystal had so wanted everything to be perfect.

That night was just the beginning of the problem Jake had with Crystal’s past. She felt as if she was walking on eggshells whenever the subject came up. Jake often muttered about sorting Max out for what he did to her, which caused conflicting emotions in her – half of her thought it showed that Jake must be committed to her even though he never said it, and the other half was terrified that he’d do something stupid. And in a weird way, Crystal felt as if Jake was trying to compete with him in some way, which was crazy as Crystal only felt disgust for Max and she’d told Jake that enough times.

But he was always trying to push the boundaries when they made love; they never seemed be able just to go to bed
any more. When they went out for dinner or went clubbing, he’d suggest a quickie in the bathroom. And in just one week they’d clocked up a shag in the men’s loos at Sugar, a chic club in Mayfair; once in the front seat of Jake’s car; a freezing cold one in St James’s Park, which Crystal hadn’t enjoyed one little bit, thinking someone would see them at any moment or they’d get arrested for indecent exposure, and such anxiety was not likely to lead to an orgasmic experience, well not for her anyway. Crystal was no prude but Jake’s exploits were starting to unsettle her.

And if that wasn’t enough Crystal had two other major problems – a career and cash crisis.
Why was it that problems always seemed to come in threes?

The day after she flew back from Ibiza Dallas called her. He was typically blunt.

‘Crystal, we both know it’s not going to work for you to carry on in Lost Angels
.
I really appreciate the effort you put into the video but you and Belle – there’s too much history and I can’t have any conflict in my groups.’

Crystal had been expecting this for months now but it was still a shock to hear it. ‘Is there any chance you could keep me on as a solo artist or in any of your other groups?’ she asked struggling to hold back the tears.

Dallas sighed and said, ‘I wish there was, but I’m afraid I can’t. I just don’t have any confidence that the public would buy your records. Jenny will be in touch to let you know how much money you can expect from the termination of your contract. Good luck, Crystal, and goodbye.’

That was it, then. The dream was over. If Dallas didn’t want her, then she was pretty certain that no one else in the industry would.

And as for the money, Crystal thought she had been careful but the blackmail money she’d paid out to Max, as well as a loan she’d given her brother, had made a large dent in her savings and if she wanted to keep her flat in London she had to earn some money pretty fast. Pride prevented her from revealing her precarious financial state to Jake and her
friends but one night when she’d gone out for dinner with Jez, Danni and Tahlia and she’d handed her credit card over to pay she’d been forced to come clean.

‘I’m sorry, Ms Hope, but your card has been declined,’ the waiter said.

‘Really?’ Crystal replied. ‘There must be a mistake. I’m sure I had plenty of credit left. Oh well, I’ll just give you another card.’ She held out her hand for the card and was shocked to discover that the waiter had cut it in half. ‘At the orders of the credit card company, Miss,’ the waiter said quietly.