Crystal Fire (32 page)

But for the moment it was better to keep things impersonal. No recriminations, no emotion-laden issues, just two warriors discussing an upcoming mission. Time enough to ease into deeper things later. She smiled and nodded slowly.

"I am quite well, thank you," Marissa said, keeping her voice carefully bland. "And have you already decided where we're headed? Where the Knowing Crystal is to be found?"

"Due north," Brace replied, unhappy with the artificially polite conversation when so much of deeper import needed to be discussed. "All I know is the Crystal lies somewhere due north of here."

"And is Ferox awaiting us there? Are we perhaps walking into a trap?"

"I don't know."

Marissa's smile thinned. "Then what exactly
do
you know, Brace Ardane? Have you made any plans to ensure the success of this quest, or are we to blunder on as before?"

He shot her a smoldering glance. "All I know is Ferox is still on Moraca, perhaps awaiting another opportunity to capture Olim and use her Traveler's skills to reprogram the Crystal. That, and then recapture me to use with her. So don't start on me, Marissa."

She forced her voice to soften. Recriminations were never the way to handle him. "Brace, we have to have a plan. Have you spoken with Rodac about this?"

"No."

"Then let me fetch him and we'll talk now." She rose from her chair.

Brace's hand shot out, capturing her arm. "No, Marissa. First
we
need to talk."

Marissa lowered herself back to her chair. "Fine. Then talk."

He turned to the ornately carved mantel that sheltered the hearth, his fingers tracing the swirling pattern of the rich, red-brown robur wood. "Are we going to be able to work together?" he asked without lifting his eyes from the mantel.

"Of course we will," Marissa replied with absolute finality. "We're professionals, after all."

His eyes, dark and anguished, turned to her. "And is that all there's to be between us from now onprofessionalism?"

Caught in the mesmerizing depths of his piercing gaze, Marissa could do little more than stare, her heart leaping beneath her breast. Did he know how easy he was making it for her? Did he truly think they could ever have what they'd had before? He was a fool if he did.

And yet, a tiny voice prodded, why not allow herself to enjoy the delights of his body? Her honest response would only assure his acceptance that she loved him once more. And if he demanded to actually hear the words, what were a few lies if it would ensure Ferox's eventual defeat?

"There can be whatever you want, Brace. Do you wish to mate?" she whispered. "Is that what you want from me?"

Before he could reply, Marissa stood and began unlacing the front of her tunic. As Brace watched in amazement, she spread the garment open and, without a moment's hesitation, slipped it from her. And still he stood there, silent and staring.

Smiling, she moved to stand before him, her slender arms lifting to entwine about his neck. Brace had a brief glimpse of her tantalizingly full, white breasts and soft, rose-colored nipples before she pressed into him. Heat, unbidden, flared in his groin.

With a shuddering breath, Brace freed Marissa's hands and pulled them down to hold them at her sides. "What is this?" he demanded gruffly. "A few secundae ago you were the cold professional and nownow you're suddenly hot for me?"

Marissa arched a brow. "Are you complaining?"

"No," Brace said, "only confused. After how I failed you, after how angry you were with me, this seductive behavior is greatly out of character."

His eyes narrowed. "Are you playing some game, Marissa?"

She twisted out of his loose grip. "No games. I want you and you want me. It's as simple as that."

Her hands moved to his breeches and she began to unfasten them. As she did, Marissa glanced up at him through the thick fan of her lashes. "You
do
want me, don't you?"

"Marissa, don't." Brace stayed her hands. "Yes, I want you, but not like this. Not with so much left unsaid between us. Not with wounds still unhealed." He picked up her tunic and shoved it at her, then gestured toward the chairs. "Come, let's talk for a while."

Brace led her to her chair, then moved to sit in his. No sooner was he settled than Marissa flung aside her tunic and slipped over to hop onto his lap.

Brace glared at her. "Marissa . . ."

"We can talk just as well close as far apart," she murmured, once more entwining her arms about his neck and snuggling close. Her head lowered to lie upon his chest. "Now, what did you have to say?" The scent of her rose to fill his nostrilssweet, fragrant, and ripe with her womanhood. Her soft breasts pressed tightly against the hard, flat planes of his chest. Brace wished away the barrier of his tunic, yearning for the feel of her flesh upon his. Then his resolve hardened. With all his strength, he turned his attention away from the rising fullness in his groin and back to the matter at hand.

"Have you forgiven me, then?" he forced himself to ask. "Forgiven me for what happened to Candra?"

He felt her stiffen, then relax.

"The Crystal was the cause of Candra's death, not you. I see that now."

"But have you forgiven me, Marissa?" he insisted.

Had
she forgiven him? Marissa lifted her head to meet him eye to eye. It was so difficult to tell. So difficult to differentiate between forgiveness and trust. So difficult to penetrate that wall of ice around her heart and probe the emotions that lay within.

She knew it was his lack of skill with the Crystal, his innate weakness as a man, that had been the cause of her sister's death, but could she continue to hate him for things he had little control over? If anything, he deserved her pity, not her hatred. Yet why did it anger her so to finally see him as he really was?

Marissa gazed at Brace, at the starkly etched angles and planes that merged into a strikingly handsome countenance. Gazed into deep, dark eyes gleaming with love and the most heartrending integrity, and wanted to scream from anguish. In spite of it all, she reminded herself with ferocious desperation, he was not the man she needed, the man she could depend on, the man she dared give her heart to.

Perhaps that was why she found it so hard to forgive him. He had tantalized her with a glimpse of what life between a male and female could truly be, teased her just enough to make her crave it desperatelyand then not been man enough to give it to her. And that was far crueler than never having known it at all.

The effort it took to utter the first of the lies made Marissa's stomach twist with nausea. "Yes," she rasped, "of course I forgive you. I know it wasn't your fault."

He eyed her warily. "Truly?"

She swallowed down a bitter surge of self-disgust. "Truly, Brace." Her head lowered until her mouth was a warm breath from his. "Now are you satisfied?"

"Do you love me, Marissa?"

The words prickled down her spine, making the hairs stand up on the back of her neck and her heart pound wildly. Ah, by all that was sacred, Marissa thought, here it comes now!

For the briefest instant her eyelids lowered as she struggled for the strength to answer him. But there was no solace to be found behind their shielding screen. Marissa forced her eyes to open, forced herself to face him. "Yes, Brace," she whispered on a trembling sigh. "I love you."

An intense look of joy flared in his eyes, then Brace closed the tiny distance separating them. "Then prove it," he whispered.

He kissed her, his lips hot, insistent, frantic. Suddenly there was nothing between themno doubts, no wounded feelingsnothing but mind-numbing, fevered desire.

With a low moan Marissa arched into him, clinging to his massive shoulders, her fingers moving to clutch wildly in his hair. He shuddered uncontrollably beneath her, his big body shaking with fierce, brutal passion. Shaking as fiercely as hers.

She tore open the front of his tunic, her fingers jerky with excitement and rising need. Her hands moved to rub his thick chest muscles, reveling in the wiry crispness that covered them, stroking the velvet flatness of his male nipples. His tongue probed for entry, teasing and tantalizing her. When she opened, he drew her tongue into his mouth, caressing it with his own.

A hot, searing need grew within Marissa. She yielded to it. Sliding off his lap, she sank to her knees before him. Her hands lifted to the band of his breeches and, with sharp little tugs, she freed the turgid swell of his manhood. For a long moment Marissa just stared, mesmerized by the thick erection jutting from its nest of dark, dense curls. Her head lowered to nuzzle his long, hot shaft, and she kissed it.

''
M-Marissa
!" Brace arched back in his chair, thrusting himself toward her.

Her mouth opened and her wet little tongue emerged to tentatively lick him.

"Ah, Gods!" Brace cried. In one swift movement, he leaned down to grab her arms and pull her with him to the floor.

In a flurry of fevered hands and twisting bodies, their remaining clothes were shed and Brace was atop her, his big tip poised against her femininity. He kissed her then, hot, deep, and devouring. His fingers splayed, slipping intimately between her legs, sliding into the slick wetness of her womanhood. Marissa trembled wildly.

Then his hands were on her buttocks, lifting her, and he was thrusting into her hot sheath. And she was lost. With a piercing cry Marissa exploded, spiraling into a deep, dark chasm of ecstasy. A chasm free of distrust and disappointment, where only she and the man she loved could ever hope to go.

They set out early the next sol after bidding farewell to Raina, Olim, and all the other Sodalitas. Marissa and Raina embraced fiercely, tears misting their eyes.

"I wish you well, sweeting," the Sodalitas leader whispered. "The task before you is enormous." "And when have I ever taken the easier path?" Marissa whispered back.

"Never, but still it's past time you finally did and knew a little peace and happiness." Raina's glance strayed to Brace, who was deep in discussion with Rodac. "He's nearly tolerablefor a male."

"Y-yes," Marissa mumbled, choking back a sob. "He is that."

But not for me
, she thought bitterly as she stepped back from her friend and walked over to join her two companions.
Perhaps for another woman some sol, if we're fortunate enough to survive this quest, but not for me
.

At that moment Brace saw her. He strode to meet Marissa, his arm encircling her shoulders to pull her to him.

"Did you sleep well, sweet femina?" Brace asked with a smile. "You were already gone from your bed when I awoke."

"I slept quite well, thank you," Marissa replied uneasily, trying as best she could to slip away. "We should be leaving. Already the sun rises."

He pulled her back to him. "There's time enough for a moment of greeting, isn't there?"

Without waiting for her reply Brace's mouth came down on hers, taking Marissa's lips in a fiercely possessive kiss. Her hands slipped between them and she pushed at his chest in a futile attempt to break away. As the now familiar, languorous warmth began to course through her, the world around Marissa, the curious stares, the presence of others, all faded.

Brace's kiss deepened, sending silky tendrils of desire curling down her spine. Her body sprang to vibrant life in his arms and she surrendered helplessly. Then Brace stepped away. The hot, sensual haze evaporated as quickly as it had risen, leaving Marissa standing there, trembling and breathless.

He eyed her for a moment more, his glance scorching her to the tips of her toes. Then Brace inhaled a ragged breath, and grinned.

"You were right. We should be leaving."

She shot him a quelling look, exasperated at the wild excitement he'd managed to stir within her in the span of a few secundae. And even more exasperated with herself for once again lowering her guard.

This is no way to resume the quest
, Marissa lectured herself as they boarded the two skim craft and began preflight procedures. Her mindlessly heated response did no one any goodleast of all Brace. Somehow, someway, she must wall off her heartonce and for all.

With a whir of engines the skim craft rose and sped away, leaving behind the only real home Marissa had ever known. She never once looked back, but kept her gaze fixed firmly ahead. Beside her Brace piloted their craft, one hand clutching the control stick, the other cradling her hand. Cradling it in his big, comforting, strong hand . . .

Surreptitiously, she assessed him. Brace's darkly handsome face appeared serene but determined, as if some newfound confidence coursed through him. It was last nocte, Marissa realized. She had managed to deceive him into thinking they had reconciled, that she loved him again. Her plan had indeed worked. She should feel very proud.

Disgust surged through her instead. Never, in all the times she'd plotted to betray Brace to Ferox, had she felt such deep and utter self-loathing. She turned away, gazing blankly out at the rolling hills and distant mountains. Brace trusted her, believed in herloved her. And, as doubtful as she was of his ability to see the quest through, Marissa suddenly realized he was far more worthy a person than she could ever hope to be.

Tears filled her eyes. Angrily Marissa wiped them away. By the Crystal Fires, this awakening of the heart was getting to be a confusingnot to mention wetaffair.

"Femina, what is it?" Brace asked, noting the tell-tale moisture glistening on her cheeks.

"N-nothing," Marissa mumbled, hurriedly averting her face. "I'm just sorry to leave my home."

He flipped on the auto pilot, then captured Marissa's chin, turning her to face him. A troubled looked flared in Brace's eyes.

"What's
really
the matter? Was it something I did or said? Did I embarrass you back at the fort, kissing you in front of your sisters? I could've sworn you enjoyed it as much as I." "No. I mean yes! Oh, just let it be, Brace!" She tried to twist free of his grip.

He refused to let go. "Marissa, there shouldn't be secrets between us."