Cuckoo (16 page)
‘All right yeah,’ Gareth said. ‘But see what I mean?’
‘When can we hear your new songs?’ Rose asked Polly as she sat down again.
‘When they’re ready, you’ll be the first to hear them. Well, second. I think I promised first dibs to Simon.’
Rose and Gareth exchanged a look.
‘I suppose they’re about the essence of what you just said to Rose, Gareth. But it’s me saying it to Christos,’ Polly went on. ‘And then there’s the anger at being left.’ She stared into her wine glass.
‘He didn’t choose to leave you, Polly,’ Rose said.
‘At least I can say that, can’t I? Funny how it offers such scant consolation.’
‘Mum, we’ve done,’ Anna said, coming up and putting her arms around Rose, hugging her from behind. ‘Come and check.’
Rose got up, realising she was a little drunk. She cast an eye over the washing-up. There were a couple of pans that she would re-do later when they had gone to bed, but on the whole it was passable.
‘Right, get your pyjamas on, guys.’ She clapped her hands and they ran upstairs. ‘Clean the teeth, get into bed and I’ll be up in a bit.’
‘I’m assuming, from all the disruption this afternoon, that you’ve decided the boys are staying up here,’ Polly said.
Gareth looked surprised. ‘Is this right, Rose?’ he asked.
‘It seemed practical. I just thought that you could do with a bit of space, Polly. It’ll take the pressure off. And the boys were really keen.’
‘It would’ve been good to have discussed it beforehand,’ Gareth said.
‘And would you have objected?’ She turned to face him.
‘Well, no, but that’s not the point.’ He looked her in the eye.
‘Oh come on, Gareth,’ Rose said, sitting down again. ‘They’re going to be down here every morning and evening, round here after school, and it’s tiny up there. Polly needs to be alone to work. It’s all good,’ she said.
‘Gareth’s right, though,’ Polly said, looking up at Rose.
‘But it’s the best thing.’ Rose poured herself another glass. ‘I mean, it’s not exactly as if you’ve been around to ask. I did go up earlier, but you weren’t there.’
‘I’ve been in all day,’ Polly said.
‘I couldn’t hear you moving about.’
‘So you came and had a good listen, did you?’ Polly said.
‘Look, for fuck’s sake, I’ll go up and tell Nico and Yannis to move back to the Annexe.’ Rose stood up, ready to march upstairs. She had just about had enough.
‘Oh Rose,’ Polly said. ‘Come here and sit down. Flouncing really doesn’t suit you. Look, I’m fine with it, really I am. It’s just that you went ahead and did it without even considering what I might feel.’
‘Believe me, what you feel is foremost in my mind at the moment, Polly,’ Rose said, still standing.
‘Look, Rose, will you come and sit down, drink your wine and shut up,’ Gareth said.
Rose stayed standing. She didn’t know what to do. Go upstairs or sit down? Which would seem less like a capitulation? Then Polly gave an involuntary shiver. Seizing her opportunity, Rose went over to the sofa and pulled off one of the throws. She took it to Polly and wrapped it round her.
‘You really should get some warmer clothes,’ she said.
‘Look,’ Polly said, drawing the blanket around her, ‘I’m sorry. I know I’m being a bit spiky. I’m really grateful for all this. You’re being really generous. I can’t begin to thank you . . .’
‘Then don’t start,’ Rose said, sitting next to her. ‘I know you’d do the same for me if—’ She looked over at Gareth, and she couldn’t go on. ‘God, Polly, I can’t imagine what it must be like for you.’
‘It’s like having your arm torn off,’ she said. ‘Without your consent. How dare he? How dare he go and leave us?’
Gareth got up and fetched what they called the drugs box, which they kept on the top shelf of the dresser, above Anna’s nest of eggs. He sat down again and started to roll a joint.
‘There was no one to talk to there. His mother was awful,’ Polly went on. ‘She blamed me. Said I’d driven him to it. She even had the gall to suggest that I’d tampered with the truck.’
‘No!’ Rose said.
‘I mean, do I look like I’d know my way around the mechanics of a pick-up truck? She’s always hated me. If you haven’t been on the island for ten generations you’re an outsider, and there was no room for me. After he died. I had to go.’
‘How did it happen exactly?’ Gareth asked.
‘Christos and I had this argument. It was serious, but not out of the ordinary. I told him to fuck off, so he did the usual and drove off down to the town, to George’s taverna – remember that friend of Christos’s?’ she asked Rose.
‘The impossibly handsome one?’ Rose said.
‘Yep. Anyway, apparently he spent hours in there, drinking beer and Raki with his cronies, no doubt telling them all what a witch I was. Then, instead of coming home, he drove right up to the top of the island, up the new road, into the mountains. I don’t know why. Sometimes he’d go up there and spend the night – he never told me much about it and I wasn’t all that interested. But he was going too fast. And he was drunk, of course. Then he just took a bend badly, one of those hairpins up a mountain, and instead of going up, he went right over the side. The truck was mangled, and so was he.’
‘He died instantly?’ Gareth asked.
‘They think so. But it was a while till he was found. By a shepherd, who, coincidentally, was a distant cousin. Hence the brainless gossip about tampering.
‘The night it happened, I’d gone to bed and didn’t realise that he hadn’t returned till I woke up the next morning. I thought perhaps he’d stayed at George’s down in the town. As I said, it wasn’t unusual for him to spend a night or two away. Later on in the evening of the next day, when there was still no sign of him, I got a taxi down to the town to find him. I was furious by then, of course. But no one knew where he was. We weren’t all that concerned. He had set a precedent for disappearing, after all.’
Rose passed the joint to Polly, who drew deeply on it and exhaled slowly.
‘Then, five days later, they found him. What remained of him. The wolves had got there first. We didn’t have much to bury,’ she said.
‘Oh God, Polly,’ Rose said, taking her hand.
‘The worst part, though, was that during those five days, I got more and more angry at him for staying away. I never imagined . . . You’d think you’d know, wouldn’t you? Somewhere in your heart, if . . . Anyway, I was so mad that by the time they found him, my first reaction was that dying served him right.’
Gareth blew out his cheeks, and Polly sat back and looked at Rose. There was something terrible in her eyes, some sort of glimmer of triumph. Rose felt herself shiver.
‘He fucked other women,’ Polly said, smoke trailing out through her nostrils. Lost in her story, she hadn’t passed the joint on.
‘I know,’ Rose said, her eyes level. Gareth kept very still, very quiet.
‘All the time,’ Polly went on. ‘All through our marriage. But until that last time, he always came back to me in the end.’ She fell quiet. Then she smiled and looked up. ‘Not that I was an angel, of course. Don’t feel sorry for me. I got what I deserved.’
‘Don’t say that,’ Gareth said, leaning over and touching her arm. A sudden draught pushed the candles and the flames guttered, threatening darkness. But as quickly as it appeared it passed.
Rose got up. ‘I’d better go and tuck the children in,’ she said. ‘If I can make it up the stairs. Polly, do you want to come and say goodnight to the boys?’
‘I think I’ll pass tonight,’ she said, taking a final draw on the joint and handing it over to Gareth. ‘Nico’ll just smell my breath and tell me off. He hates me smoking. Thinks he’ll lose me too. Give them a kiss from me, will you?’
Rose tiptoed up to see Anna first, who was fast asleep, buried in a mound of teddies, her duvet cocooned around her. Then she went to the boys in the spare room. Nico was reading a comic, and Yannis was lying curled under his bedding.
‘I said I’d stay up till he went to sleep,’ Nico said.
‘He’s lucky to have a brother like you,’ Rose said, leaning down to give him a kiss on the head. She then went over to Yannis, who pulled her close to him.
‘I wish you were my mama,’ he whispered in her ear.
‘Shhh. You mustn’t say that,’ she said, putting her finger over his lips. ‘Now, go to sleep, you.’ And, as she kissed him on the cheek, he closed his eyes and smiled.
She went out onto the landing and put on the night-light. Anna was scared of the dark and, if Rose was honest, so was she.
On the way downstairs, Rose realised that the story of Christos’s death had not contained one single reference to the boys. It was all about Polly. She had made it her story. But then it was one thing, Rose thought, to stand on the shore thinking how Polly should be swimming to save herself. It was another thing altogether to be in the water, flailing against the current, trying not to be pulled under.
She paused on the landing to look down at Polly and Gareth, who were deep in conversation, handing another spliff backwards and forwards. This was good.
As she went down the stairs into the kitchen, Gareth held out his hand for her to come and sit next to him.
‘We were just sharing memories of Christos,’ Gareth said. ‘He was quite a guy.’
‘He certainly was,’ Rose said.
Polly, who was beginning to shake, took a couple of pills from one of the rattling bottles in her bag and knocked them back with the remains of her glass of wine.
‘I really must be going,’ she said, glancing at the clock.
‘But it’s only ten,’ Rose said.
‘I have my pharmaceutical schedule to keep to,’ Polly said, getting up and glancing out of the window over the sink, the one that looked up towards the Annexe. Something seemed to have caught her attention up there.
‘OK, then,’ Rose said, getting up. ‘You sure you’re all right? I’ll come up the path with you, if you want.’
‘No, I’m fine and dandy,’ Polly said. ‘Just tired. Look, thanks for tonight. It was good to talk. I’ll see you in the morning.’
‘Don’t get up early,’ Rose said.
‘As if.’ Polly left quickly, with the throw still wrapped around her.
‘That was a bit hasty,’ Rose said, puzzled. Then she noticed that Polly had left her bag on the table. ‘I’d better take this up for her. It’s got her pills in.’
‘She can do without them tonight,’ Gareth said. He had got up and was looking out of the window. ‘Come and see.’
He took Rose’s arm, blew out the candles and pointed up through the window to the Annexe. There, in the shadows, waiting for Polly, was a tall, male figure that was unmistakably Simon. He and Polly exchanged a few words in the doorway. She seemed not to be too pleased to see him, but after a few moments she went in and he followed her. Very shortly after that, the lights went out in the Annexe.
‘Bloody hell,’ Gareth said. ‘I’d forgotten quite what a fast mover our Polly is.’
Fourteen
The rest of the week fell into an easy pattern, with the boys sleeping in the big house, and Polly joining everyone for supper. As far as Rose could tell, Simon hadn’t visited Polly again after that night. He certainly hadn’t been stopping for morning coffee. He had a deadline, he told Rose, as he hurried home after the school run each day. She missed their chats, and she couldn’t help wondering what had gone on between the two of them. But whatever had happened seemed to have had a good effect on Polly. She seemed more relaxed, less barbed. And she was working during her hours up in the Annexe. Sometimes, on the way to the car, Rose would catch a snatch of guitar and Polly’s unmistakable voice picking its way around a new tune.
The boys’ new Tesco clothes only lasted a couple of days and then they were all caked in mud. Rose couldn’t wash and dry them quickly enough. So, on the Friday, she decided to take them into Bath to extend their English wardrobes.
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