Cut and Run 09 Crash & Burn (41 page)

Digger shoved the door wider. “You’re not the newlywed I thought I was about to shoot.”

“I get that a lot,” Zane deadpanned.

Digger gestured Zane in with his gun, which he then shoved under his belt at the small of his back.

Owen was leaning against the kitchen counter, talking on the burner phone. From the tone of his voice, Zane assumed he was speaking to his girlfriend. Nick and Kelly were both sitting on the couch, examining a framed map on the table in front of them. Zane recognized it as the ranch. He wondered where the hell they’d stolen that from, and if his mom would notice before they could get the fuck out of Dodge.

Liam was lounging in his bunk, smoking a cigarette. Zane was surprised to see Nick with an unlit cigarette behind his ear, and another being used as a pointer.

Zane followed Digger to the couch, sitting opposite Kelly and Nick. “What are you doing?”

Nick sighed, eyes darting between Kelly and Digger before returning to the map again. He swallowed nervously, which made the butterflies in Zane’s stomach start up. If Nick was nervous, then
everybody
should be nervous.

“We’re looking for a landing strip on the property,” Nick admitted.

“What, why?”

“Egress for the families, in case we don’t come back.”

The implication hit Zane hard. Sidewinder was sitting here planning how to keep the Gradys and Garretts safe for when they all died in Miami.

“What the hell?” Zane blurted, lurching to his feet. “What? Sitting out here all ‘be careful, we might get hurt’? There’s no way to go into this but knowing we come back.”

They all watched him impassively. Finally, Kelly sighed. “You haven’t lived in the same world we have. You
never
assume you come back.”

“And when you do, it’s a goddamned miracle every time,” Digger added.

Zane stared, his mouth hanging open. “Wow.” He shook his head and aimed for the door, refusing to sit in on this conversation. “No wonder Ty’s fucking nuts.”

When he jerked the door open, Ty was standing there, a bag over his shoulder, fist raised to knock, eyes wide. “Hey,” he said awkwardly.

Zane sighed and hung his head, stepping aside to let Ty in.

Ty gave him a good once-over, then glanced around at the others. “What’s going on?”

“They’re planning the fucking funeral out here,” Zane spat.

Ty didn’t look angry or shocked, merely confused. He took in the map on the table and the grim expressions of the others, then pursed his lips, nodding.

Zane stared at him, unable to comprehend that sort of backup plan. “What’s the fucking point of this if we don’t think we’re coming back?”

On the other side of the room, Owen was eyeing them, his ear to the phone. “Honey, I have to go,” he said without taking his eyes off Zane.

Ty reached for Zane’s arm, but Zane jerked out of his grasp and paced away.

“I thought you were supposed to be this mythical fucking creature or something.
Sidewinder
,” he intoned sarcastically. “This bunch of invincible, crazy warriors, up for anything. You’re just scared little boys sitting in a tree house, trying to figure out how to sneak back inside once your mama turns off the lights!”

“Rude,” Digger huffed. None of the others spoke, though.

Zane turned to Ty, his heart racing, anger and helplessness coursing through him.

Ty smiled sadly. “This is the way we’ve always done it, Zane. It doesn’t mean we intend to die out there. It just . . .”

“If we do, it’ll be with no regrets,” Owen offered when Ty’s explanation faltered. “You say good-bye first. When the bullet hits, you won’t wish you’d told anyone you loved them one last time.”

“Bullshit,” Zane snarled. “You’re all bullshit.”

“It’s part of going in prepared,” Ty tried.

“I don’t fucking believe this,” Zane muttered.

No one else spoke. They didn’t seem willing to try to explain it further to Zane, and his rant had made no mark on any of them. Zane stomped over and threw himself onto the couch beside Digger, crossing his arms and huffing.

“I came to get my arm bandaged.”

Kelly nodded and went to get his med kit.

The others watched Zane, obviously uneasy now. Nick took a long look at the cigarette he was holding, then slipped it in his mouth. No one made a sound as he lit it.

“Broke your streak,” Kelly said as he sat beside Zane and started working on the new bandage for his arm. “Twenty years.”

“Even condemned men get one last smoke,” Nick said, blowing a stream of fragrant smoke into the air.

“Just wait until Ty gives you his ‘you’re too hurt to fight’ speech and tries to leave you behind,” Zane snapped.

Nick looked from Zane to Ty, expression unreadable.

Ty shrugged, moving closer. He gestured for Liam to join them as he took a bag off his shoulder. He held up a bottle of orange Gatorade and set it on the table, then a stack of shot glasses that he spread out on the wood, and he smiled almost shyly.

“Your dad rid the house of all things alcohol,” he told Zane. He handed Zane a bottle of green tea from the bag of stuff he’d obviously stolen from the kitchen, then glanced around at the others. “No matter what happens tomorrow . . . I figured Nick’s spiked Gatorade was the best we could do.”

“Uh,” Nick said uncomfortably, glancing around the coffee table at everyone. He turned his head to blow smoke away from them. “That’s not a great idea.”

“Why not?” Ty asked, frowning.

“It’s . . .” Nick glanced at Liam and rolled his eyes. “It’s not alcohol.”

“What?” Liam asked.

“I spiked it with my spare bottle of propranolol,” Nick admitted. The others barraged him with questions, and he shrugged. “You think I’m stupid? Of course I had a spare bottle on the boat.”

“What would that have done to me?” Liam demanded.

“In large doses, it behaves sort of like Rohypnol. It makes you extremely suggestible and causes memory loss. It was my backup plan.”

“You wanker!” Liam cried. “I’m starting to feel very victimized by my time with you!”

Nick sat unfazed, blowing smoke toward Liam’s face. “Come at me again, see who winds up on his ass.”

Zane just opened his green tea and took a sip, shaking his head. “You’re all idiots.”

Ty carefully closed the door to the bedroom behind him. He set his gun on the low table by the door and then moved toward the bed.

He stood studying Zane for a moment, then put one knee on the edge of the mattress and leaned over his husband. Zane’s eyes blinked open to meet his.

“Morning, sunshine,” Ty rumbled with a crooked smile.

A few more blinks and Zane made a soft sound of disagreement and tried to roll over. “It’s not morning. Heifer.”

“You awake?” Ty asked as he poked gently at Zane’s ribs.

Zane shut his eyes and grunted. Without warning, he lurched over to yank Ty off-balance, tugged him down on the mattress next to him, and then secured him by curling around him. “Sleepy.”

Ty didn’t bother struggling. He’d been cuddled too many times to even try anymore. Instead, he slid his hand over Zane’s waist and pulled him closer.

“It’s pretty damn useless, us fighting right now,” he murmured against Zane’s cheek.

Zane was quiet long enough that Ty thought he might have actually gone back to sleep. But then he drew a deep breath. “We’re good at it.”

“I’m good at juggling, too. Don’t mean I have to do it all the time,” Ty countered.

Zane cracked one eye open. “You do not juggle.”

Ty pulled back enough to see Zane’s face, “Do too.”

Zane sighed and slid one arm under his pillow. “Don’t leave me behind, Ty. Don’t make me live with that.”

“I was wrong,” Ty said before pushing at Zane’s chest and rolling on top of him.

“Yeah, you were,” Zane slid his hands up Ty’s back under the T-shirt.

Ty brushed his nose and lips against Zane’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about anything but you being safe. It was selfish. And it was wrong. Everything I did was wrong.”

The smile playing at Zane’s lips grew wider as he pulled up one of his legs, their bodies touching from ankle to chest. “And now?”

“I want you with me. ’Til the end. That may be selfish too, but I don’t care.”

“The world out there is burning, Ty.”

Ty ran his finger down Zane’s cheek, nodding. “But we were born in a kiln.”

Zane grinned. “I’m game.”

“I think the word you’re looking for there is prey,” Ty growled before smashing their mouths together. How many times could he fuck up and still gain Zane’s forgiveness? He clamped his hand in Zane’s curls, which were damp for some reason. “How did you get wet?”

Zane inhaled through his nose and let out a shaky sigh. “Showered,” he said, sounding oddly nervous. “Needed to cool off.”

“Because of me?”

“Because of you. Because of your crazy fucking Recon guys. You know what they were doing out there when I walked in?”

“Smoking, drinking, orgy?” Ty guessed.

“Planning on how to get people off the ranch if no one survives Miami.”

Ty nodded, sighing. “We tried to tell you, that’s what we do, Zane. But we’ve always come back.”

Zane clapped his hand over Ty’s mouth. “Just . . . don’t jinx it this time.”

Ty raised his hand in a silent promise.

“That’s the Girl Scout pledge, Ty.”

The sun was barely up when Zane blinked open his eyes. It was still dark in the bedroom that had once been his, and the morning air was cool on his face. It would be chilly when he got out of bed, but for now he was content in a bundle of quilts and sheets and body warmth, and that was how he wanted to stay.

Ty had his head tucked under his pillow. It was his default sleep mode. Zane watched him for a few more minutes, enjoying the fuzzy half-awake feeling of contentment as he stretched out beside his husband.

Finally, Zane rolled closer under the heavy quilt and slid his knee over Ty to rest his leg against the back of Ty’s thigh. He threw an arm over him as well, soaking in the warmth, pressing his nose and mouth against the side of Ty’s shoulder. He could almost fool himself into thinking this was a moment they could afford to enjoy.

Fuck it, though, why couldn’t they grasp for happiness in the midst of all this? The bomb that had taken their bookstore, that had burned down their future, had been reminder enough that happiness could go up in a spark, be gone in an instant. It had also reminded Zane that the only thing in this world that mattered to him was Ty, and he still had him right now. Why the hell not enjoy this quiet, peaceful morning while they could?

Zane closed his eyes, snuggling closer and sighing. Ty smelled vaguely of smoke, leather, dirt, grass, and the frantic, desperate sex they’d had last night.

Zane would never get tired of the feeling Ty gave him, that spark of life he had reignited deep inside him.

Ty raised his head, causing the pillow to fall away, and squinted at Zane. His hair was an insult to humanity. Was it possible for Zane to love this man any more than he did right now?

“What time is it?” Ty grumbled, looking at the window. Dawn was just now stretching toward it. They didn’t have long before the others would wake and they’d need to start moving. Zane’s eyes followed Ty’s. The light was infused with the gloom of winter, even in Texas. It made the warmth they’d created within the blankets that much more inviting. When Zane returned his attention to his husband, Ty was gazing down at him, his magnificent hazel eyes warm and shining.

He lifted his head enough to press a gentle kiss to Ty’s chin. “Morning.”

Ty’s hands glided up Zane’s sides and along his arms until they were pressing Zane’s hands into the mattress. Zane groaned, but he didn’t try to pull away. Instead, he licked his lips and shifted his hips.

He loved waking up like this. He intended to wake up like this every day for the rest of his life, no matter how long or short it might be. Even if today was the last.

He smiled crookedly and kissed Ty. “I love you,” he whispered, voice so low it was almost a breath of air. “So much.”

Ty’s smile filtered into his eyes, even in the dim light. “I love you too. I thought I’d lost you, you know? For real, this time. I . . .”