Cutter 5: Red Sin Mc (2 page)

“You mean he’s
raped before?” I asked, shock and hurt still flowing in and out of my body. I
was grateful for what Clause had done for me, even if it was only because he
was following orders.

“Well, of course
he has.” Clause punched a few numbers into the screen of his phone. “Didn’t you
see the look on his face? He gets off on that kind of thing.”

“And you still
consider him a brother?” I asked, disgusted.

Clause looked at
my blankly. “You don’t just ditch a brother because he has different beliefs
than you. All of our brothers come from different paths and walks of life.”

“Raping someone
isn’t a belief.” He was starting to make me feel sick.

“Sure, it is. He
believes in taking what he wants.”

I let out a loud
gasp and crossed my arms across my chest. “Why did you even bother saving me in
the first place then?” I threw my hands up in the air. “Why not just let him
have his way with me if it’s just about having a different belief than another
person.”

Clause frowned.
“Because I have orders.”

I turned my back
on him and glanced out the window. I couldn’t look at him anymore; he made me
feel like I was going to vomit all over the floor. How could people think that
line of reasoning was okay? I looked down at the buildings below me, filled
with businesses and people of the city. Somewhere out there was Cutter.

Cutter; going
about his business and living his life without me.

Cutter would never
knowingly let this kind of behavior go on in his club.

But Cutter was different;
unlike anyone else I’d ever met.

I ran my fingers
over my dry lips, remembering his touch, the way he tasted me so gently. Or so
roughly, depending on his mood. I’d probably never know what that kind of
tenderness felt like again.

My heart started
to sting as I looked down at the city again.

Yeah, Cutter was
out there somewhere living his life.

I just hoped
wherever he was, he was happy.

Chapter Two

CUTTER

I’d never known
true misery until now. I’d never known true pain until now. I’d never had such
a strong urge to make everyone I came in contact with pay for my despair until
now.

Heather slid a
plate full of eggs, bacon, and toast across the counter of the bar at me. “You
have to at least try and eat, Cutter,” she said when she saw me staring at the
plate. “You haven’t had anything in your stomach in days.” She shot Blaze a
look, hoping he would be of some help.

Instead, Blaze
reached across his already empty plate and grabbed a few pieces of my bacon and
shoving them into his mouth. “Let him starve to death if he wants, more for
me.” He took his fort and dabbed at my eggs forcefully.

I shoved the plate
toward him. “Have it all, I don’t want it.”

Blaze agreed and
started chowing down on it happily.

I reached across
the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniele’s, taking a long swig right out of
the top of the bottle. The only thing I’d been in the mood to drink for days
was alcohol. She’d left me, the only girl I’d ever really cared about had just
left.

When I’d left
Grace alone in the hotel room that night, I’d left to go drinking with Blaze.
Left to go cool down and vent about everything going wrong. He’d calmed me
down, the way he always did, and when I got back to the room Grace was gone and
so was all of her stuff.

I’d searched for
her everywhere but it was like she’d vanished. No cell-phone use, no card
usage, she’d even avoided going home to see her mom, knowing that I would look
for her there.

It had finally hit
her, how crazy my life was, and she wanted no part in it. She’d just up and
left me, knowing that I would do anything to find her and bring her back to me.
Only this time she’d left no trace of where because she didn’t want to be
found.

She wanted to be
alone, away from me forever.

Heather tried to
grab the bottle out of my hand but I was too fast, hugging it to my chest
tightly. She settled on my half eaten plate of food in front of Blaze instead,
taking it away from him and shoving it on the other side of the counter.

“Hey!” Blaze
complained, stabbing at the counter with his fork.

“Would you talk to
him? Please?” Heather hissed.

Blaze banged his
head against the bar. “I have been talking to him! That’s all I’ve been doing
for the last two weeks is talking to him!” He looked at the plate of eggs
longingly. “And every time you get on me about not talking to him I go and talk
to him again! It does no good!” He turned and looked at me, disapproval written
all over his face. “Juts look at him, he’s a mess. He hasn’t eaten or slept in
days.” He reached out and ruffled my messy stubble that had started to grow all
over my face. “He hasn’t even shaved.”

I jolted out of
his grasp and took another swig out of my bottle.

“My boy got his
pride hurt,” Blaze said, grabbing a handful of peanuts off the bar and shoving
them into his mouth. “He’ll bounce back, he just needs a little time.” He
chewed loudly. “This is why I don’t do the whole girlfriend thing, it’s sure to
end badly, it’s like what’s the point? There’s tons of tail out there just
ready and waiting to be banged without any attachment, you feel me?” He
grinned, punching me playfully in the stomach.

Heather and me
stared at him blankly.

“Too soon?” he
asked and then nodded. “Too soon.”

“You repulse me,”
Heather told Blaze. “And it’s not about his pride, idiot, he has a broken
heart.” She grabbed the bowl of peanuts away from Blaze, too. “And my guess is
that wherever Grace is she has one, too.”

Blaze shook his
head. “But she’s the one who left him.”

“He’s right,” I
said. “She left me. Left me all alone.”

“She didn’t leave
you!” Heather told me. “Something clearly happened to her! She wouldn’t have
just left you, she’s obsessed with you!” She grabbed a class and set it on the
bar. “And would you at least use a glass?”

I smashed my hand
down on top of the glass, sending specs flying all over, including my skin.
Heather gasped and tried to make a reach for me but I pushed her off, downing
more Jack and enjoying the sensation of the pain pumping in and out of my
veins. It was nice to, at least, feel something. The feeling of glass in my
skin while blood swam out around the little cuts was my favorite kind of
physical rush besides sex.

And I wasn’t gong
to be having that anytime soon.

“Blaze,” Heather
whispered. “Do something.”

A girl took the
opportunity to come up and swing her arms around the back of Blaze’s neck.
“Hey, baby, do you want to go upstairs and play?” She glanced at me. “I have a
friend for your friend.”

Slut.

Blaze glanced down
her plunging neckline and shot me a look.

“Have a blast,” I
said, taking another swig. “I’m kind of busy.”

“Hey,” Heather
snapped. “Do you mind? We’re talking here so take a walk.” She looked like she
wanted to bash one of the bottles in her hand over the girl’s head, not that it
surprised me, I was used to my sister being overprotective of me.

“Don’t be rude,
Heather,” Blaze told her, his eyes still on the girl’s chest.

“Yeah, Heather,”
she cooed, pressing herself even harder up against Blaze. “Don’t be rude.” She
ran her hand up and down his chest, tracing his tattoos with her fingertips.

“Then take her out
of here and leave us alone.” Heather said, titling her head to the side. “No
offense but this is kind of a personal conversation, I’m not sure you’d be able
to wrap your little brain around it.”

“Listen,” the girl
snapped. “Is he yours?”

“What?” Heather
asked, taken aback.

“Is he your man,”
the girl asked, motioning up and down Blaze.

“Yeah, Heather,”
Blaze asked her, amused. “Am I yours?”

“I hate you,”
Heather mumbled.

“Then why don’t
you take a walk, bitch?” The girl said, snuggling up against Blaze even more.
“In case you haven’t noticed we’re kind of busy here.” She smiled up at Blaze
adoringly.

But Blaze wasn’t
having it. “Whoa.” He pushed her away. “You can’t just go around calling people
bitches.” He glanced at Heather, who looked like her head was about to explode.
“Especially not girls like Heather.”

“But she is one.”
The girl moved her hand to Blaze’s crotch, trying to distract him by getting
him worked up further sexually. “Come on, daddy, let’s get out of here and I’ll
show you what it’s like to mess with a real woman.” She glanced at Heather.
“Not a little girl.”

I smacked my glass
filled hand down on the wood, causing more blood to emerge. “Blaze,” I growled.
“Would you get this girl away from my fucking sister? Now.” I’d had enough; if
he wanted to fuck her he should go and fuck her. She didn’t need to hang around
throwing low blows at my baby sister. It was bad enough I had one sister I’d
never met. The least I could do was take care of the one I did know.

The girl turned
pale. “Oh, Cutter, I didn’t know she was your sister…”

I growled at
Blaze.

“You should go,”
he said, unwrapping her arms from him.

“But…”

“Just go,” Blaze
said more sternly.

“Yeah, just go,”
Heather said cutely.

The girl walked
away and Blaze turned on Heather, shaking his head. “Can’t you ever just be
cool for once and help a brother get some? Damn, you would think you were my
girlfriend the way you cock block sometimes.”

I laughed for the
first time in days. The thought of my sister and Blaze dating was funny to me.
The idea that either one of them would be into the other was absurd.

Heather shot me an
annoyed look then grabbed the bottle of beer Blaze was drinking out of his
hand. “Please, don’t flatter yourself, this has nothing to do with you and
everything to do with my brother.”

“Would you stop
taking my shit?” Blaze leaned over the bar and snatched another bottle of beer.
“When are you going to stop giving me such a hard time about every fucking
thing I do, Heather?”

“Oh, like you
don’t do the same thing to me,” she snickered. “Let’s not turn this into a
fight. It’s not about you or me, it’s about him.” She looked at me. “He needs
help snapping out of it and the longer you take to help him do it the longer I
have to go without finding this long lost sister I never knew about until now.”

I deserted my
bottle of Jack and picked up some vodka just for the hell of it. I hated vodka,
it was nasty, but I was in the mood to be sick. Heather had been obsessed with
finding our long lost sister ever since the news broke, demanding I hunt her
down immediately.

I wanted to find
her, too. She was my fucking twin after all.

But everything
else seemed pointless right now.

Everything seemed
like a chore without Grace.

“And the longer I
don’t know where my sister is, the longer I have to deal with THAT walking
around my town every damn day and eating in here three damn times a day.” She
glanced down to the other side of the bar where Krusher was throwing peanuts up
in the air and catching them in his mouth. Some of our club whores surrounded him,
cheering every time he did his dumb trick.

Oh, yes, Krusher
was still here. And, oh, yes, he was still being his normal asshole self. It
annoyed the hell out of me seeing him walk around our town everyday and do
whatever he wanted. He was under our protection. My father had wanted to kill
him on the spot, not giving a damn about my twin, which only made me want to
find her more.

I wasn’t speaking
to my father. He could choke on all his lies like the coward he was as far as I
was concerned. And since my sister had started staying in a room above the bar
like me, I had the feeling that she felt the same way. Well, that and she
cursed him any chance she got.

“Darling,” Krusher
called now to Heather. “Another round for me and my ladies, please.” He took
one last shot and shoved the empty glass toward the brunette sitting on his
lap.

Heather rolled her
eyes. “I don’t actually work here, Krusher.”

“Then you better
hurry up to make up for the time it’ll take you to figure out where everything
is.” His eyes fell on the plate of eggs and bacon behind the bar. “Bring me
some of that breakfast while you’re at it.”

“Ugh,” Heather
said. “It’s so early. How can he already be drinking right now?” Then she
glanced at me and backtracked. “Well, you have an excuse, you have a broken
heart.”

Krusher was
starting to bother me, but not as much as he would have if I weren’t thinking
about Grace all the time. She made it a little hard to think about the
wanna
be Green Grove member wondering around my town and
wishing he were one of us.

My sister rounded
the bar and put her hands on my wrist. “Can I see?”

I pulled away from
her. “No, I like the feeling of the pain.”

“Jesus,” Heather
said, looking at Blaze again for help.

Before Blaze had a
chance to compose a proper reaction Krusher was by our side. He threw one hand
around Heather’s shoulder and pulled her closer to him. “Baby, did you not hear
me about those drinks?”

Blaze yanked him
off her in one fast motion, pushing him hard against the bar. “Listen, you
piece of shit, you may have a free pass around here for right now but that
doesn’t mean you get to do whatever the hell you want to the people we care
about.” He glanced around the room. “You have free range on all the club whores
around this place, but her.” He gestured toward Heather. “She’s off limits.” He
backed away from Krusher slowly, still staring him down. “Don’t touch her
again.”

Krusher showed the
kind of emotion he always showed whenever someone backed him into a corner and
said something threatening toward him. As in, he showed none at all. I couldn’t
figure out if he was just as fucked up as me and felt nothing or if he was just
really good at not showing any emotion.

He flipped his
light hair back and shot Blaze a grin. “Relax, I’m not after your girl or
sister or whatever the hell it is you call her.” He slumped down on the stool
next to me and padded me on the leg. “Still glum, huh buddy? Cheer up, there’s
plenty of fish in the pond.”

“Its sea,” Heather
corrected him.

“What is?” Krusher
looked puzzled.

“Its there’s
plenty of fish in the sea.”

Krusher raised his
eyebrows at me. “What you really need is to stop spending so much time with
your damn sister and start spending more time with some girls you can actually
stick your dick in if you catch my drift.”

“He would have two
sisters to hang out with if you would stop being such an unbelievably big
asshole and tell us where the hell Cutter’s sister is,” Heather hissed.

Krusher jumped off
the seat next to me. “On that note, I better be off.” He patted me on the back.
“You know how I get when the conversation turns to serious things.
Uninterested.”

He goes to move
past me and smacks into Ace’s chest.

“Oops sorry,” Ace
said sarcastically, pushing Krusher again.

“Oh, good, the
gangs all here.” Krusher rubbed his shoulder.

“Cutter,” Ace
said. “You got a sec?”

I took another
sip. “No, I’m extremely busy right now.”

A girl cleared her
throat and I glanced at Ace out of the corner of my eye. A tiny girl with brown
eyes and short hair looked up at him like she was staring at the most beautiful
thing she’d ever witnessed. She had a decent rack and a cute face but she
wasn’t Ace’s type, dressed in a loose sweater and cargo pants she was hardly
the kind of chick Ace would be interested in. Clearly, he wanted me to take one
for the team and scare her away so she’d quit bothering him.