“Birdie,” I didn’t say her name loud because
I didn’t want to scare her. She didn’t hear me and I said it a
little louder as I walked towards her unable to restrain my need to
comfort her.
She looked up in shock and wiped her face
desperately, “No—Cyrus NO!” I grabbed her and held her tightly and
she started to shake, “Please, I’m sorry. Just—I need to stop…
crying, please!”
I couldn’t let go, I wouldn’t, “No Birdie,
you cry damn it. Just fucking cry.”
She grabbed the poncho, clenching it tightly
as she silently shook. I loosened her grip and pulled the poncho
over her head ripping it so that her head would fit through the
hole and she grabbed my shirt. I felt her shake and pulled her head
against my chest.
I don’t know how long we stood in the rain
but it was almost completely dark when she pulled back. She looked
up at me and her eyes looked like Christmas, green and red. She
covered her face and rubbed her eyes.
“Tired?” she shook her head yes, “Let me get
you outta here.
“I can’t.”
“Tara, you’re soaked—we’re soaked. I’ll
bring you back, I promise.” When she didn’t move, I lifted her up
and she grabbed tightly around my neck and I walked through the
darkness to the Jeep.
I ripped the rest of the poncho open and
unlocked the door and sat her in the seat. I walked around and got
in. She was shaking like a leaf as I turned on the Jeep. I reached
in the back and grabbed a sweatshirt, “Put this on Birdie. Take
those off, and put this on.”
I faced the window to give her some privacy
and could hear her teeth chatter.
“I left my bag…oh no, your photo…”
“Sit still and lock the door, I’ll be right
back.”
It wasn’t easy to find the bag but I did,
when I got closer to the Jeep I noticed she wasn’t there. I grabbed
the door and it was locked I looked in the window and she was down
on the floor. I taped the window and she opened the door.
“I saw Tony and Larry in Larry’s car. They
drove by twice. I shouldn’t hide, I shouldn’t…”
“You did great. Buckle up,” I grabbed my
phone out of the glove box and had several missed calls and
messages.
“George, what’s up?”
He told me that his guy had followed them
into Red Hook I let him go on and on as I made my way back onto the
main road. When I hung up I looked over at her and she looked
scared and exhausted.
“Sleep, I’m gonna take you somewhere safe
Tara.”
“I wanna go home,” she was shaking and
fidgeting and I heard her whispers.
I drove to a hotel I had driven by on my way
in and parked. Tara was still whispering. I had no clue what the
hell she was talking about but she was a fucking mess. I opened her
door and unbuckled her seat belt, “Let’s go.”
She scowled at me and didn’t move so I
reached in to pick her up and as soon as I touched her she clung to
me and started crying. It was pouring out and I was getting soaked.
I was also a little nervous about getting her inside for more than
one reason. Tony and Larry being one, I needed to keep her safe.
The second was how the hell to keep her calm while I checked
in.
“We need to get you inside,” she shook her
head no, “It’s warm in there Birdie, come on, please I told you I’d
help you and I will. But you can’t fucking take off again and we
need to get in there—now.”
I didn’t wait for permission-- I picked her
up and carried her to the entry. I set her down on her feet and
lifted her chin and wiped her face. “Keep it together for just a
few minutes more. Then you can take a bath, okay? You like bath’s
right?”
Her eyes fluttered as she let out little
breaths. I knew she was fucking wrecked and I knew I wasn’t what
she needed right now. She needed someone who was capable of taking
care of her.
I put my arm around her shoulder and she
sunk right into me. I got a room and we headed quickly to the
elevator. She didn’t move from my side and to be honest-- I didn’t
want her to. The ride up wasn’t long enough, I knew as soon as we
were in that room I had to let go. This had to be kept friendly,
God help me
.
I wanted to run, I didn’t want him to be any
more disappointed than I already knew he must be in me. I was
disappointed in me, I stole from him. I had every intention of
making sure he got back everything I had taken, but I wasn’t ready
or able to do it this soon.
I didn’t want to be here… I wished I could
have spent the night in the cemetery. It felt good to cry, it felt
good to be close to them, and I wanted that again, I needed
that.
“Come on,” he pulled me from the elevator
and walked me to the door of the room. I don’t remember ever being
in a place like this.
He opened the door and pulled me inside. He
was holding onto me tightly, almost painfully, but if he let go I
was sure I would crumble, break into a million pieces.
When his grip loosened I held tighter,
afraid. Afraid to look at him, afraid to see the anger or hurt I
may have caused him, afraid he would see me…. the me that was held
so tightly together by years of fear, that I would disappoint or be
a burden, or be seen, or…
“Come on Tara,” Cyrus took me into the
bathroom and started the bath and then leaned against the counter
holding me.
“Okay you need to get in there. I’m gonna
run down to the Jeep to grab my bag and yours, then right back. I
can’t believe I fucking forgot them,” he let out an uneasy breath,
“Don’t you leave Tara, I will fucking find you again. I promised to
help you, now you have to let me.”
I shook my head yes afraid if I spoke I
would cry again and if I cried…I couldn’t cry. He grabbed me and
held me again before he left.
Now I could cry, now I could for a couple
minutes anyway.
I was in the tub when he burst through the
door. He closed his eyes tightly and his hands fisted at his
side.
With his eyes still closed he breathed out,
“Thank you.”
I washed my face hoping he wouldn’t see the
tears.
“I’m not gonna look at you Birdie okay? But
I’m not gonna leave you either .”
I still couldn’t answer him, I still
couldn’t talk. I finished my bath and started to stand. Cyrus
turned around his eyes still closed and handed me a towel.
I was wrapped and finally cleared my throat,
“Can I have my bag?”
“Yes, yes of course you can,” he walked out
the door leaving it open and grabbed my bag.
“Thank you,” I said as I opened the bag
searching I grabbed the money, “Um, Cyrus I’m sorry about this but
here is what’s left, I will ..I spent forty three dollars. I
promise…”
“It’s all good Birdie, do you have clothes,
do you need…”
“No, I have one sweatshirt, two…oh, oh God…
I’m sorry…” I was doing it in front of him and now I was going to
cry in front of him.
He emptied my bag on the counter and grabbed
underwear and socks and a t- shirt. “Step in,” he was squatting in
front of me holding my panties, and I did what he asked. Next he
pulled the shirt over my head and grabbed another towel and my
hand. He dragged me behind him and walked into the bedroom.
“Sit,” he pointed to the bed. He handed me a
brush and grabbed the menu off of the night stand, and pulled down
the covers to the bed, “Come on up here, you’ll be warm.”
I sat against the headboard and pulled the
blankets up around me his phone rang and he set the menu on my lap,
“I gotta take this, you pick something.”
He answered the phone and walked out the
door into the other room.
“Yeah I found her…no she’s alright, I
think…Jase I haven’t even talked to her yet…She just took a bath
and … Oh, for Fuck’s sake NO!” I heard him hiss, “She’s pretty
fucking upset alright, I’m not a fucking…fine. You tell her after I
get her to eat something. I’ll call…not now Jase…Yes call George
back, tell him to get on it, I want those slimy fucks dealt with
and believe me I will do the shit my way if we can’t come to a
fucking agreement….No Jase, tonight she’s gonna eat and sleep,
tomorrow I have a couple things to …Two days alright. I’ll be there
in two days.”
I watched out the door as Cyrus raised his
phone in the air as if he wanted to smash it against the wall. He
was pacing and sputtering under his breath, angry so angry--because
of me.
He stopped and squatted down and his hands
fisting his hair, I cleared my throat and he stood up and turned
around. He walked into the room trying to compose himself, “Did you
pick something to eat?”
“Um…” I shook my head no, “Are you
okay?”
His let out a deep breath and shook his head
yes, “Hungry, and you?”
I didn’t answer him right away, “Tired,
really tired.”
“Gotta eat first,” he leaned back against
the headboard and relaxed, “Toasted cheese and tomato soup? Oh no
that’s right… you don’t like that very much, do you?”
“Sorry.”
“It was a joke,” Cyrus turned towards be and
looked down, “Let me know.”
“Soup? Chicken broth, maybe a couple
crackers?”
He continued looking at me his tired brown
eyes dropped a bit, “You should have more than that, when’s the
last time you ate?”
“This morning, sorry I’m just so cold, and
really tired.”
He grabbed the phone and ordered. I sunk
down in the bed and he smiled. He looked content but only for a
moment and then he jumped up, “I’m gonna shower, rest. I’ll wake
you when it gets here.”
He started walking away, “Cyrus,” he turned
and looked at me, “You didn’t have to come, I’m sorry to…to be a
problem.”
“You certainly have been a pain in the ass,
little Birdie,” he smirked and walked away.
I laid back and was almost asleep when the
phone rang. I picked it up and saw Jase on the caller ID. Afraid it
was important, I crawled out of the bed and walked towards the
bathroom.
The door was cracked and the shower was
running. I walked in and froze at the sight of him.
Cyrus, the man who for some reason needed to
save me was truly beautiful. He was tall, very tall and broad. His
body type fit somewhere perfectly between a body builder and an
underwear model. His hands were against the shower wall and his
head was bowed down as the water poured over him. His already dark
hair looked jet black as the water dripped down it and ran in a
steady stream down his chiseled jaw. He tilted his chin up moving
his head slowly to the left and then to the right allowing the
water to flow over his face. I watched as the water flowed down
over his chest and it continued down his side over the black ink
that said
Forever Steel
. It kissed his narrow hips and
continuing down his beautiful muscular ass. He stood up and soaped
his hands and turned with his eyes still closed as he scrubbed his
hair, his face, and down his neck he grabbed a washcloth and
squirted more soap on it and rubbed his underarms and chest, down
his tight well defined torso and then lower. My eyes followed the
soapy path. Even in the few movies I had watched with Tony I’d
never seen such a magnificent penis. It hung thick down the front
of him. It was long, wide, and perfectly in proportion to this
strong body. He washed down it with the cloth and lifted it to
clean his sac and pulled it up as he massaged it gently. The sound
he made when he slowly washed himself called to something deep
inside of me. I felt myself body tighten, tingle, and clenched as
if it knew what it wanted.
He took his time each stroke made by body
heat, “Birdie” I heard him whisper as his stroke hastened. He felt
it too… the evidence in his hand.
I couldn’t move, I was mesmerized by him, I
felt myself begin to moisten and my breaths begin to become harder
to catch. I willed myself to take a step back, knowing it was wrong
to watch him, to want so badly to touch him and needing him to
touch me. Each step I took away from him was painful. I craved him
so badly, my body hungered for his.
I laid in bed trying to forget, trying to
focus on something other than Cyrus naked in the shower. But the
pulsing between my legs only become stronger and it’s need to be
filled and stretched by him cause my legs to fall to the sides. My
breasts became heavier and I arched my back: imagining his hands, I
cupped one. Losing control my other hand travelled down my body as
my mind travelled back to the man in the shower. I touched myself
lightly and it’s like lightning strikes me, I allowed my fingers to
dance with my clit as I thought of Cyrus stroking his stunning
broad cock. I felt my mouth fall open as the pleasure needs to
escape somehow. I rub myself harder, faster, my inhibitions, my
thoughts are gone consumed by the need and desire to be filled. I
slip a finger inside of myself trying to fill the emptiness that
craves him. Each thrust and his name escapes my lips, whispers,
pleas, desire.
It wasn’t enough.
I needed more.
I needed him.
I needed Cyrus to fill me.
Completely.
I tipped the bell boy and carried the trays
in and sat them on the table by the couch. Hoping like hell she was
asleep when I walked in the bedroom to grab my bag wrapped in a
towel, and looked at the bed.
Awe fuck Birdie,
I thought as I heard
her whimpers. Her face was flush and she held back sounds from
escaping as she bit her plump lips. I wished that blanket would
fall of the bed to reveal, what I was pretty sure was happening
under them. The blankets moved and I knew she was closing her legs.
Her body shuttered and her jaw dropped open and I heard my name
fall from her lips.
I felt my cock rising, hard and I knew right
then and there I was gonna fuck up.
“Birdie,” she opened her eyes looking
confused, lost, wound, “You can’t do that to me.”