Daddy (14 page)

He and Daphne sat in the living room after he'd signed the lease, and she eyed him with concern. For a man who hadn't been willing to make any changes at all two months before, he was moving very quickly now. He had been ever since he'd realized that Sarah wasn't coming home.

“I think it'll do us all good.” He was defending himself to her, although he didn't have to.

“So do I. But what do you think the kids'U say?”

“What can they say? I can't keep track of Benjamin while I'm commuting. And if it's a disaster between now and June, we can always move back to Purchase and I'll put the kids back in their old schools in the fall. But maybe this is what I should have done right from the beginning.”

She nodded again. He was right. It wasn't written in stone, and at least it was a good try at turning the tides that were drowning Benjamin in Purchase. “You don't think it's too radical?”

“Are you telling me I'm crazy?” He smiled nervously at her, wondering the same thing himself, and amazed at what he'd accomplished since the kids left on vacation with their mother. He was dreading telling them, and yet he was excited too. It was an exciting new life for all of them, whatever the reasons that had led him to do it. And it seemed like the best solution to Benjamin's problems.

“I think you've done the right thing, if that helps at all. But I also think it'll be another big adjustment for them.”

“Maybe a good one this time.” He walked around the living room. The apartment was handsome, and he thought the children would like their rooms, particularly Melissa. Their new home was on East 84th Street, on a tree-lined street, two blocks from Central Park. It was everything Oliver had wanted, once he made up his mind to look for an apartment in town. “What do you think, Daph? Do you really think I'm nuts?” He was suddenly afraid to tell the children. What if they went crazy again, but he'd been so sure it was the right decision when he made it.

“I don't think you're crazy, and I think it'll be fine. Just don't expect them to jump up and down and tell you what a great idea it is. It'll scare them at first, no matter how easy you try to make it for them. Give them time to adjust.”

“I know. That's what I was just thinking.”

But he was in no way prepared for the violence of their reactions. He told them the next day, when they came home from their vacation with Sarah. He picked them up at the airport and drove them into town, telling them he had a surprise for them, but refusing to tell them what it was. They were in high spirits as they drove in, telling him everything they'd done, and seen, and how good the skiing had been with their mother. But for once, it didn't upset him. He was suddenly excited about what he was going to show them in New York.

“Are we going to see Daphne, Dad?” It was Melissa asking him and he only shook his head and continued driving. He had told Agnes that morning, and she'd been startled, but she'd agreed to come. She didn't mind moving to New York with them, as long as she was with the children.

They drove up in front of the building and he found a parking place, and escorted them in, as they looked around in curiosity.

“Who lives here, Dad?” Sam wanted to know, and Ollie shook his head, walked into the elevator, and asked for seven.

“Yes, sir.” The elevator man smiled. The doorman had recognized him at once when he let them in. They were the new tenants
m
7H, which was why he hadn't asked them where they were going.

Oliver stood in front of the apartment and pressed the bell, and when no one answered, he shrugged his shoulders, and took the key out of his pocket, opened the door, and swung it wide for his children, as they stood watching him with startled eyes, wondering if he'd gone crazy.

“Come on in, you guys.”

“Whose apartment is this?” Mel was whispering and afraid to go in, but Sam wandered right in and looked around. There was no one home, and he signaled to the others to join him.

And then suddenly, Benjamin understood, and he looked worried as he walked in. But Mel began exclaiming over how pretty the antiques were.

“I'm glad you like it, sweetheart.” Ollie smiled. “These are our new New York digs. How do you like them?”

“Wow!” She looked thrilled. “When are we going to use this, Daddy?” They had never had an apartment in New York before, and suddenly Sam looked worried.

“Aren't you going to come home during the week anymore, Dad?”

“Of course I am. A lot earlier than before too. We're all going to live here until the end of the school year, and then we'll come back again in September.” He was trying to make it sound like an adventure to them, but it was suddenly sinking in, and they all looked frightened.

“You mean we're moving here?” Mel looked horrified. “What about our friends?”

“You can see them on weekends, and in the summer. And if we hate it, we won't come back next year. But I think we ought to at least try it.”

“You mean I have to change schools
now?”
She couldn't believe what he was saying. And there was no hiding the truth from her. He nodded his head, and looked at all their faces. Sam looked stunned, and Mel sat down in a chair and started to cry. Benjamin said nothing at all, but his face hardened into a block of ice as he looked at his father. He knew it was partially due to him, but that did nothing to mitigate his anger. He had no right to do this to them, no right at all. It was bad enough that their mother had gone, but now they had to change schools, and move to New York. Suddenly, everything was going to be different. But that was just exactly what Oliver wanted. Especially for him, and Benjamin knew it.

“Come on, guys, it'll be fun. Think of it as a whole exciting new life.”

“What about Aggie?” Sam looked suddenly doubly worried. He didn't want to lose anyone else he loved, but his father was quick to reassure him.

“She's coming too.”

“And Andy?”

“He can come, too, as long as he behaves. If he chews up all the furniture, we'll have to leave him with Grandpa and pick him up on weekends.”

“He'll be good. I swear.” Sam's eyes were wide, but at least he wasn't crying. “Can I see my room?”

“Sure.” Ollie was pleased. At least Sam was trying, even if the older ones weren't. Melissa was still playing Camille, and Benjamin was staring sullenly out the window. “It doesn't look like much now, but when we bring some of your stuff in it'll look great.” Fortunately the man who owned the apartment had two sons and a daughter, and there were two masculine-looking rooms, and a pink one. But Melissa refused to even come and see it. It was twice the size of her room at home, and much more sophisticated than what she was used to. And Sam reported on it to her when he returned to the living room.

“It's okay, Mel … it's pink … you'll like it …”

“I don't care. I'm not moving here. I'll stay with Carole or Debbie.”

“No, you won't.” Oliver's voice was quiet and firm. “You'll move here with the rest of us. And I've gotten you into an excellent school. I know it's a tough change, but it's for the best right now, really, Mel, believe me.”

Benjamin suddenly wheeled on them then as his father finished speaking. “What he's saying is that he wants to keep an eye on me at close range, and he wants to keep me away from Sandra. What about weekends, Dad? Is she off-limits then too?” His voice was bitter and angry.

“She's off-limits until your grades improve. I told you, I'm not fooling around with you. All your chances for a decent college are about to go right out the window.”

“I don't care about that. It doesn't mean anything.”

“It meant a lot to you when you sent in your applications, or had you forgotten?”

“Things have changed a lot since then,” he muttered darkly, and walked back to the window.

“Well, has everyone seen as much as they want to?” Oliver managed in spite of all of it to sound cheerful, but only Sam was willing to go along with it.

“Is there a backyard?”

Oliver smiled at him. “Not exactly. There's Central Park two blocks away. That ought to do in a pinch.” Sam nodded in agreement. “Shall we go?” Melissa hurried to the door, and Benjamin followed more slowly, looking pensive. And it was a quiet drive back to Purchase, all of them lost in their own thoughts, and only Sam occasionally asking questions.

Agnes had dinner waiting for them at home, and Sam told her all about the apartment. “I can play ball in Central Park … and I've got a pretty big room … and we're coming back here as soon as school gets out, for the summer. What's my school called, Dad?”

“Collegiate.”

“Collegiate,” he repeated, as Aggie listened intently, and kept an eye on the two others. Neither Benjamin nor Mel had said a word since they'd sat down at the table. “When are we moving again?”

“Next weekend.” As he said the words, Melissa collapsed into a flood of tears again, and a few minutes later, Benjamin left the table. He quietly took the car keys from the hall table, and without saying a word, a moment later, he drove away, as Oliver watched him.

Mel never emerged from her room again that night, and the door was locked when he tried it. Only Sam was pleased about the move. To him it was something new and exciting. And after putting him to bed, Oliver went back downstairs to wait for Benjamin to come home. They were going to have a serious talk about his acts of defiance.

He didn't come home until 2:00 A.M., and Ollie was still waiting for him, getting more and more worried. And at last, he heard the crunch of the gravel in the driveway and the car stop outside. The door opened quietly, and Oliver walked out into the hall to meet him.

“Do you want to come out to the kitchen and talk?” It was a purely rhetorical question.

“There's nothing to talk about.”

“There seems to be a lot, enough to keep you out till two A.M., or is that another kind of conversation?” He led the way to the kitchen without waiting for an answer, and pulled out two chairs, but it was a moment before Benjamin sat down, and it was obvious he didn't want to. “What's going on, Benjamin?”

“Nothing I want to talk about with you.” Suddenly they were enemies. It had happened overnight, but it was no less disappointing or painful.

“Why are you so angry with me? Because of Mom? Do you still blame that on me?”

“That's your business. What I do is mine. I don't like you telling me what to do. I'm too old for that.”

“You're seventeen years old, you're not a grown-up yet, even if you'd like to be. And you can't go on breaking all the rules, sooner or later you're going to pay a hell of a price for it. There are always rules in life, whether you like them or not. Right now, you may not even get into college.”

“Fuck college.” His words startled Ollie.

“What's that all about?”

“I have more important things to think about.” For a moment, Oliver wondered if he was drunk, but he didn't appear to be, and Ollie suspected he wasn't.

“Like what? That girl? … Sandra Carter? At your age, that's a passing thing, Benjamin. And if it isn't, you're going to have to wait a long time before you can do anything about it. You've got to finish school, go to college, get a job, make a living to support a wife and kids. You've got a long road ahead of you, and you'd better stay on track now or you're going to be in deep shit before you know it.” Benjamin seemed to sag a little as he listened, and then he looked up at his father.

“I'm not moving to New York with you. I won't.”

“You have no choice. You have to. I'm closing the house here, except for weekends. And I won't let you live here alone, it's as simple as that. And if you want to know the truth, we're moving there partly because of you, so you can get your act together before it's too late, and I can spend more time with all of you in the evenings.”

“It's too late for that now. And I'm not going.”

“Why not?” There was an endless silence in the room while Oliver waited. And then, finally, the boy answered.

“I can't leave Sandra.”

“Why not? What if I let you see her on weekends?”

“Her mom's moving to California, and she won't have anywhere to stay.” Oliver almost groaned at the picture he was painting.

“Isn't Sandra going with her?”

“They don't get along. And she hates her dad. She won't go to Philadelphia to live with him either.”

“So what's she going to do?”

“Drop out of school and get a job and stay here, but I don't want to leave her alone.”

“That's noble of you. But she sounds very independent.”

“She isn't. She needs me.” It was the first time he had opened up and talked about her, and Oliver was touched, but also frightened by what he was hearing. She didn't sound like the kind of girl anyone should be involved with. She sounded like trouble. “I can't leave her, Dad.”

“You're going to have to leave her in the fall when you go to college anyway. You might as well deal with it now, before it becomes an even bigger problem.” But Benjamin only smiled at the irony of his words.

“I can't go.” He was adamant and Oliver was suddenly confused.

“To college or New York?” This really was a new one.

“Either one.” Benjamin looked stubborn and almost desperate.

“But
why?”
There was another long silence, and finally Benjamin looked up at him, and decided to tell him all of it. He had carried it alone for long enough, and if his father wanted to know so badly, then he would tell him.

“Because she's pregnant.”

“Oh my God … oh my
God
… why the hell didn't you tell me?”

“I don't know … I didn't think you'd want to know … and anyway, it's my problem.” He hung his head, feeling the full burden of it, as he had for months.

“Is that why her mother is leaving her and going to California?”

“In part. But they also don't get along, and her mother has a new boyfriend.”

“And what does she think about her daughter being pregnant?”

“She figures it's Sandra's problem, not hers. She told her to get an abortion.”

“And? … will she?”

Benjamin shook his head, and looked at his father with everything he believed in, in his eyes, his heart on his sleeve, and the values of his father. “I wouldn't let her.”