Damned (10 page)
“It’s just part of something I am; part of being a true blood. It is the best way I can explain it. I am cursed to like it I suppose. Tell me something about yourself now, because I keep answering your questions, but you have not answered mine. So go on, tell me something.”
“My real name is not Jade.” I say and he blinks. There, that one stumped him.
“It’s not? What is it?”
“I truly hate it Jax.”
“Come on, I told you some of my stuff.”
I groan and mumble, “Its Lilyahna.”
“Lilyahna?” He smiles.
“Lilyahna Jade.”
“It’s real pretty kid.”
“No, it’s awful. I have been going with Jade since I was a child, my parents accepted it and have always called me that but it is not my real name.”
“I like it, so I think I am going to call you LJ.”
I glare at him. “I hate you sometimes.”
He kisses me. “I know. I gotta go kid.”
“Oh.” I say, looking away.
“I got work to do.”
“I understand.”
He grasps my face in his hands and presses a kiss to my head.
“Shower and sleep. I will see you tomorrow.”
“Ok.”
“Sleep tight, LJ.”
He kisses me quickly, then grasps his shirt and is out the window before I can say or do anymore. I sit staring at the pub for half an hour, before deciding I should shower. I am quite sore, but I feel incredible. He makes me feel amazing. I step into the shower and glance down; I can see blood, a lot
of it. I text Jax hoping he can explain. My mother refused to give me the birds and the bees talk when I was growing up.
I am bleeding, why?
You were a virgin; it happens. It’s fine mate.
But…there is a lot.
It’s fine!!
I put my phone down and step back into the shower. Why was he so snappy in that text message, have I offended him somehow? With an exaggerated sigh, I slowly pour some soap into my hands and begin cleaning myself. When I am done, I dry, dress and wiggle into my bed. I can smell him on it, and it only makes me want him that much more. I feel my eyelids become heavy, and I am beginning to drift, when my phone buzzes again.
Are you still bleeding?
No.
Are you angry?
No.
I was working mate.
No problem.
Jade…
Goodnight Jax, I am going to sleep now.
Night mate.
I feel a little immature, but I am hurting and confused. I want answers and I hate that he is so against love. I know hurt is in my future, so why am I not running? It wouldn’t be hard, but I cannot force myself away from him. I want him and so help me god, I cannot walk away. I know my text was abrupt so I make a rash decision.
I climb from my bed, change and make my way next door to the pub. There are a few people lingering around the outside when I arrive. I know it is not safe for me to be wandering around alone out here. I knock on the locked front door, no answer. I wait a moment, and then knock again. I am feeling nervous now. People are watching me. I pull out my phone and text Jax.
Let me in.
I wait a moment and Jax answers wearing only a pair of jeans. He looks shocked to see me and then his face pales slightly.
“Err Jade, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you; I don’t get many nights alone so I wanted to spend it with you.”
His eyes widen. “Can you give me a minute?”
I feel my chest seize. He has another woman with him. I gasp and lift my hand to my mouth.
“You promised.” I screech. I turn and begin running back towards the gate.
“Wait, Jade.”
He catches me just outside the gate and spins me around. “I am not sleeping with anyone.”
I crumble into him, and he holds me tight. “I don’t have another woman with me, god darlin, no.”
“I thought…you said wait, and you looked shocked to see me.”
“I am shocked to see you, I asked you to wait because my place is a pigsty.”
I look up at him. “That’s it?”
“Yeah, that’s it. I don’t want a pretty girl like you in my joint when it is all man like.”
I smile, shyly. “I like man like.”
“In that case, come on.”
He leads me back to the bar, and we enter. He locks the door behind him once more. I smile at the few crew members still sitting at the bar.
“Evening Jade.” Jez smiles.
“Hi Jez.”
“How are you lovely?” Rusty asks, sliding me a drink.
“I am great.”
I look at Jax; he smiles warmly at me. I slide onto the bar, and he nestles between my legs.
“You decided to rebel again?” Rusty grins, clearly happy to see Jax smiling.
“Something like that.”
I glance down at my drink and focus on the music playing lightly in the background. It is a lovely, slow song. I begin singing lightly to it while peering at my drink. I can hear Jax chatting casually to Rusty, and the moment is mine. I forget where I am and just focus on the beautiful song.
I don’t want to close my eyes, don’t want to fall asleep coz I’ll miss you baby and I don’t want to miss a thing.
Jax leans back and snaps me from my song by taking hold of my chin and turning me to face him.
“Either there is an angel in the room, or that was your god damned beautiful voice I just heard.”
“I was just humming.” I blush.
“No, that was singing. You can sing?”
“Here and there.” I shrug.
“Men, Jade’s going to sing us a song.”
“Oh no. I am not singing.”
“Yes you are. You have to earn your rent for the night.” He murmurs, kissing me.
“I can think of other ways to earn my rent.” I mumble.
His eyes grow hot, and he kisses my neck. “That will come later.”
“One song.”
“Can you play a guitar?”
“Yes.” I snap.
He grins and slides behind the bar, bringing me back a black, shiny guitar. I pull it off him with a glare, but he just smiles at me. Arrogant. I tune the instrument in and then begin strumming lightly.
“This is for you handsome.” I grin at Jax, and he winks at me. Damn, he is breaking down my barriers.
If you're gonna love me, you better learn how to run,
Cause I like when the boys all chase me just for fun.
And if you're gonna love me, you better know how to fight,
And be willing to defend my
honor
on a Friday night.
I grin at Jax as I am singing; his eyes are blazing with amusement, lust and protectiveness. He grins back at me and winks; he likes my song choice.
Cause I want you to want me,
Oh yeah like you can't have me.
If you really want me, all you got to give me is everything,
If you really need me, better need me more than anything.
By the time I am finished singing, Jax is staring at me oddly. He looks overwhelmed and confused. Like he wants to just take me in his arms and never let go. If I did not know better, I would say it was a look of love.
“God damn,” He growls taking me into his arms. “Your voice is mind blowing.”
“Thanks.” I blush.
“I could hear that every day for the rest of my life.”
Wow, did he just say that? I lean my head into his chest and inhale his scent. MMMMM, I was falling in love with him alright. I knew this was far too quick, but I couldn’t help my hearts decisions.
“Fancy a shower?” He whispers in my ear.
“I think I need one, definitely.”
“Men, I bid you goodnight. My lady and I are going to…sleep.”
My lady? I melt. The men cheer and laugh as Jax leads me out the back to his apartment.
“Jax?”
“Yeah darlin?”
“Where do the men sleep?”
“There’s a rental down the road, they walk back when they are done. Or they just crash on the couches here.”
“Oh. Where’s your ship?”
“Hidden.”
“What’s it name?”
“It
s name?”
“Doesn’t it have a name?”
He smiles weakly. “It does.”
“What is it?”
“Lady Amber.”
“Lady Amber?”
“My mother’s name, my father named the ship.”
“Wow that is so…”
“Feminine.” He finishes for me, and I laugh.
“What would you call it, if it was your choice?”
He grins. “I don’t know, titan or thor.”
I laugh, and he joins in. “So manly.”
“That’s me baby.”
“I like Lady Amber, it is like an angel amongst pirates.”
“That’s a nice way of lookin at it. I like your mind little girl.”
“You like more than my mind.” I purr, and he grins over his shoulder at me.
When we get to the shower, he slowly peels my clothes off. My breath hitches when I am standing naked with nothing but his eyes on me. Oh god, oh god. His gaze is hungry; he slips his clothes off and gently nudges me into the shower. The warm water flows over us, and I shudder, god this moment…it feels good.
“Jax?” I whisper.
“Yeah, baby girl?”
“Can you err fuck me nicely?”
He pulls back from kissing my neck and stares at me. “You want me to make love?”
“No, no…I just don’t want it rough.”
“You want me to fuck you slowly, darlin?” He grins, amused.
“Yes, please. Will you?”
“I will try.” He mumbles.
“Oh, don’t do it, if it will cause a problem.”
“I have never fucked slowly in my life Jade, I have never made love, never been gentle.”
“And you don’t think you can?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can we try?” I plead, blinking up at him.
“Alright, for you darlin, I will try.”
I smile and reach up to press a slow kiss to his mouth. He groans and presses me against the wall; he pauses when he begins a fast pace, and I can see him forcing himself to slow down. He slowly drags his lips over my cheeks, down my neck, over my shoulders and to my breasts. By the time he gets there, I am on fire and begging for him to take me, forget the rest.
“You said slowly,” He murmurs against my nipple. “I am doing slowly.”
I am swallowing over and over to stop my moans becoming out of control screams. My nipples are aching by the time he slides his mouth down over my stomach, swirling his tongue around my navel and then lowering his head. He looks up at me, and I am panting.
“Please!” I cry.
“You wanted slow.”
“Please!”
He slides his tongue down my thighs, over my
knees
, then back up and slowly, slowly into my heated flesh. I scream; I break apart and want to slide down to wall in a crumbling mess. I am clenching my hands in his hair as he licks me slowly, with a horrid torture I am sure he is doing on purpose. He leans back, blows, lets the water trail over me a moment before driving his tongue back in. Oh crap, oh god.
“Jax, please!” I wail.
He deepens his licks, and I scream my release, gripping his head harshly and crying out so loudly I frighten myself. Good lord in heaven, the man is a sex god. He slides his body up to mine and leans down to hook my legs around his waist. Slowly, painfully, he enters me. I moan; I am swollen and hot, ready for him.
He slides out, then slowly pushes back in. He’s going slow and oh god it is killing me. I try to thrust my hips forward, but he stops me and pauses until I stop trying to force him to move quicker. Then, with a grin, he slides himself in and out, in and out, slowly. It’s torture, pure torture. I am panting, moaning, gripping his shoulders and whimpering his name over and over.
“I love you like this, desperate.” He murmurs in my ear.
“Jax, please, fuck me, hard.”
“No.”
The word is clear, and I know he means it. God Dammit. I feel his body tensing beneath me as he keeps up his slow and dangerous pace. I am going to combust; I am going to fall to pieces in his arms. He groans and thrusts deeper, pressing his hips up as far as he can get them. Good lord. His breathing becomes ragged, and I wonder for a moment if he will find his release. If I don’t hurt him, will he get there?
“Jax, will you…do I have to hurt you?”
“No,” He rasps. “Fuck…no, no, no, no.”
No, is that a bad no or a good no? Does he mean no, I can’t get there without it or no I don’t want to be hurt? I contemplate hurting him, but his moans are telling me that he is enjoying it. I feel my release climbing higher and higher; I want to scream, it feels so damned good.
