Dancing with Life (18 page)
Authors: Jamuna Rangachari
24. Remember we are all multifaceted
I wanted to be a software engineer and a writer, for there were certain things in both professions I really like to do. And so I needed to figure out a way to experience both these jobs. Please give wings to all aspects of your personality. Do everything you have always wanted to do.
25. Take out time to introspect
Call it meditation, introspection or just examining our own inner self, we all need to do it. This is necessary for all of us to remain calm and composed, no matter what the situation.
We will keep having challenges throughout our life, but if we keep improving ourselves and becoming calmer, the adversities will lose their sting.
Introspection also helps us in re-setting our priorities, so that we don’t become rigid in our thought patterns. In short, introspection helps in adapting to life as it happens.
26. Keep the child inside you alive
A childlike wonder at all that is new in the world is a remarkable tonic to make us feel that all is well.
I cannot but think of my mother-in-law here; she retained the childlike wonder till the last day of her life. Any new song/singer/movie would absolutely fascinate her; a new place would make her explore all the aspects there – this is what kept her happy till the end.
27. Never complain
We can choose to take our finite time, energy and effort to keep complaining or can spend it playing the game harder. By trying to play the game harder, you may even become a role model yourself.
28. Seeking to understand people
Our worst critics can be our best coaches. It’s tough. For a while, I used to get irritated with my colleagues and friends for suggesting various healing options to me.
In my case, it was more a change in my attitude that was required. They would even tell me to accept the situation. Sometimes, even the statement ‘positive thinking’ would irritate me. Did people mean I was not positive which is why I got this ailment? In fact, my irritation was palpable.
However, I soon realized that when you see yourself doing something badly and nobody is bothering to tell you to improve anymore, that’s a very bad place to be in. In fact, when people stop telling you anything, it means they have given up.
29. Make it a habit to value people over objects
People are indeed always more important than objects. When we are unwell, objects don’t give us the same support and pleasure that a hand on the shoulder or a blessing by touching the head can do. Don’t isolate yourself. Keep meeting people you have always loved. In fact, you should try to be a source of spreading love yourself, so that more and more people join the circle, and love freely flows. As far as objects go, except for the bare minimum, I couldn’t care less.
30. Seek inspiration
I have always been an avid reader, and due to my illness I read many inspiring books that came my way. I happened to pick up Mitch Albom’s
Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man
and
Life’s Greatest Lesson
and Randy Pausch’s
The Last Lecture
.
Tuesdays with Morrie
is a chronicle of the time Mitch Albom, the author, spent with his mentor, who teaches him the meaning of life while he himself was combating Lou Gehrig’s disease, a brutal, unforgiving illness of the neurological system.
In his book,
The Last Lecture
, Randy Pausch talks about his own dreams and his desire to help other fulfill their dreams. ‘If you knew were going to die, and you had one last lecture, what would you say to your students?’ is the question he asked himself. That thought became the spark that turned into a book,
The Last Lecture.
For Randy, it wasn’t a hypothetical situation. He was fighting pancreatic cancer. This book is not about death and dying, but rather about fulfilling all your dreams before dying. Specifically, it’s about accomplishing your childhood dreams and about how you can try to achieve them.
Pausch delivered his ‘last lecture’ titled
Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
at Carnegie Mellon University on 18th September 2007. He also gave an abridged version of his speech on
The Oprah Winfrey Show
in October 2007. The talk was modelled after an ongoing series of lectures where top academics are asked to think deeply about what matters to them, and then give a hypothetical ‘final talk’.
Pausch’s lectures have become a phenomenon, as has the book he wrote based on the same principles – celebrating the dreams we all strive to turn into realities. Sadly, Pausch lost his battle to pancreatic cancer on 25th July 2008, but his legacy will continue to inspire us all, for generations to come.
Both these books came to me as a blueprint for living and I decided I would definitely try to lead such a life.
If we keep on reading about and connecting with other achievers, especially those who have been physically challenged, we then realize that what we are dealing with can be tackled.
Among the many inspiring people I have encountered in my job as a journalist, I find Javed Abidi remarkable. Born with congenital spina bifida, a developmental disorder, Javed was a well-known journalist earlier and has now traversed the world on a wheelchair, advocating the rights of the disabled. Considered a pioneer of the Cross-Disability Movement in India, he was instrumental in the drafting and passing of The Persons with Disabilities (Equal Opportunities, Protection of Rights and Full Participation) Act, 1995, and in the setting up of the National Centre for Promotion of Employment for Disabled People (NCPEDP) in 1996. He has been its director since 1997. In October 2011, he was appointed world chairperson of Disabled People’s International (DPI), a global organization working for the rights of people living with disabilities.
There are many such people, of course but I would like to quote a couple more I find extremely inspiring. Remembering them will make us realize a physical limitation need not make us stop leading a complete life.
‘Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent,’ said former First Lady of the US, Eleanor Roosevelt. She would know this better than others, as the presidential term of her husband, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, was unique in many ways. He was elected four times, having served the country over twelve years (1933-1945), before he died. We usually remember the American presidents who had a war to contend with or a huge domestic crisis. President Roosevelt had to tackle both, The Great Depression (1929-1939) and World War II (1939-1945).
However, what was not known was that Roosevelt did all this while suffering from paralytic illness that began in 1921 at age thirty-nine. He was totally and permanently paralyzed from the waist down. He was later diagnosed with polio. Not only could he not walk, but he could not even stand without braces that ran the entire length of his legs.
Within the first year of contracting polio, when the extent of President Roosevelt’s disability became generally known in political circles, some people felt his political future was about to end.
When he successfully returned to politics in the New York State, he was vastly relieved to find that his disability seemed to have had little impact on the voters.
When President Roosevelt ran for office in 1932 he and his advisers again worried about the impact of his disability, but it turned out to be an issue of no consequence.
We should not allow the memory of President Roosevelt’s disability to fade as this will make us realize even more clearly that there is nothing the disabled or people with a health challenges cannot do.
Why should we focus only on walking? There are many who have overcome even more severe challenges.
Helen Adams Keller was stricken with severe illness at the tender age of two that left her both blind and deaf.
She was fortunate enough to get a wonderful teacher, Anne Sullivan, who taught her painstakingly, devising the method of finger-tip alphabets. In fact, the story of Helen and her teacher have now become an epitome in the annals of history. Anne Sullivan broke down every wall to open up the world to her student, while Helen overcame tremendous obstacles to gather knowledge and wisdom.
There are several other people in history, of course, and those around us also. More than the ailment itself, it is the perception of the ailment that is often the challenge one needs to overcome.
We all need to remember that life is the gift that has been given to us, warts and all, and we must make the best use of it at all times.
Let us transcend to a greater vision by realizing that we are the creators of our own lives.
I would like to conclude the book with a quote by Helen Keller and a short poem that I wrote on the same lines:
They took away what should have been my eyes, (But I remembered Milton’s
Paradise
).
They took away what should have been my ears, (Beethoven came and wiped away my tears).
They took away what should have been my tongue, (But I had talked with God when I was young).
He would not let them take away my soul, Possessing that, I still possess the whole.
I have faced lesser challenges than her and I can never compare myself to her. Still, I feel for each of us, ailment or no ailment, the message and resolution should be:
We may have many challenges,
This is how life sculpts us.
The soul shall flourish with each challenge we face,
We will only become stronger, each step of our journey.
Possessing that spirit, we possess the whole.
To share your thoughts and/or ask any queries, please comment on
www.jai-joy.com
or email at
[email protected]
.
In the end, I would like to give a few suggestions to three different sets of people, who are all an important part of all healing journeys and need to play their role in the best possible manner.
Patients:
We have to do our best to get better and never give up on life. Remember, all healing begins with us. No matter what the situation, we should not despair or succumb to self-pity when diagnosed with a disease, and give up on life. Only when we keep trying to find the good in every situation that we will be happy.
Family and friends of patients:
A disease is always a challenge for the entire family, not just the person affected. This is, in fact, the litmus test of any relationship, be it between family members or friends. In such a situation there is often a lot of stress. The family and/or friends must remember never to disconnect with the patient. Care is, of course, necessary but not with a patronizing attitude. Often, there is a lot of confusion between the two. The family should try its best to avoid discouraging the patient from attempting to lead a complete life.
Doctors:
Doctors are next to God as far as patients are concerned. No matter what the situation is, the doctor should try to motivate and encourage the patient to lead a complete life.
Jamuna’s account of her life with multiple sclerosis (MS) is deeply personal and yet I can see the similarity with lives of so many others I have encountered in my association with the Multiple Sclerosis Society of India (MSSI). The response trajectory is common – the denial, the shock, the disappointment and the depression that follows. However Jamuna is part of a positive group of people with MS who have decided to accept the situation with the positive approach of: ‘OK so it’s MS, now let’s get on with life …’
This book is not only for people with MS, it offers food for thought and solutions to anybody in a difficult circumstance.
Meenakshi Bhujwala
Secretary
MSSI (Multiple Sclerosis Society of India)
As Jamuna Rangachari attempts to put her own journey into words, I wish her all the best. Stories such as hers serve as reminders to our society to break the barriers.
Javed Abidi
Honorary Director of NCPEDP
Convenor of Disabled Rights Group
Jamuna has learned to live an active and fulfilling life in spite of MS. Her attitude and determination to overcome the difficulties in her path have enabled her to reach a point today where her life experiences can be an inspiration and an example for many of us to follow.
Vinay Somani
Founder Trustee
Jamuna was chosen as our Karmaveer Global Fellow and Karmaveer Chakra award recipient in 2015 for her writing on communal harmony. I admire Jamuna’s strength of character, seriousness of intent, honesty of purpose and bravery, all of which are reflected in this book.
Jerry Almeido
Founder of
www.icongo.org
For all of us at Life Positive, Jamuna has been a source of inspiration in many different ways. Characteristically, she has used her own experiences to help and support other MS patients. This book is one more example in that vein.
Suma Varughese
Editor-in-Chief
Life Positive
magazine
Jamuna Rangachari has learned to combat MS and live a fulfilling and inspiring life. Although she has complete faith in the alternative therapies that healed her, the primary message of the book is that one can overcome any challenge that one may face with faith and determination.
Milind Soman
Actor and brand ambassador of
MSSI (Multiple Sclerosis Society of India)
I have been extremely fortunate to meet people who have helped me in my journey towards health healing. Those who deserve special mention are Dr J.D. Mukherjee, Mr Ketan Shah, Dr S.S. Rawal, Dr Alok Palresha, Dr Purushottam Lohiya, Dr Sunil Kumar and Dr Abid Khan. They are all responsible in varying degrees for putting my life back on track.
I would like to extend my thanks to Mr Aditya Ahluwalia and Ms Suma Varughese of
Life Positive
for their tremendous support and valuable guidance over several years. Last, but certainly not the least, heartfelt and loving thanks to my husband, Ranga, my son Siddart and my daughter Samyukta who have been my pillars of strength and support, each in their own way, at all stages of my MS journey.
