Dandy Gilver and a Bothersome Number of Corpses (42 page)

‘Oh.’ Alec frowned. ‘What a waste of a golf course.’

‘Episcopalian nuns,’ I said. ‘I’m sure they play golf. Anyway, it’s not decided yet. It’ll probably end up as an hotel.’

We were silent for a moment.

‘The ones I
really
feel sorry for are all those poor girls who thought they were marvellous scholars,’ I said, after a while. ‘They’ve had a dreadful comedown.’

‘But then there are the Stellas to balance them,’ said Alec.

‘Oh, yes!’ I said, clapping my hands. ‘I had the most entertaining telephone call from Candide Rowe-Issing – furious with Ivy Shanks, of course, and quite ready to sell another Canaletto to pay a solicitor to sue her – but so delighted to find out that Stella’s not a cheat after all that she almost – almost, mind – betrayed a flicker of affection for the girl.’

Alec laughed.

‘Mawkishness is always unspeakable,’ I went on, ‘but I do think Candide has gone a little too far the other way.’

‘And speaking of mawkishness,’ said Alec, ‘you really think the whole battalion are going to be there today?’

‘Undoubtedly,’ I said. ‘Try not to be sick, won’t you?’

Right enough, there they all were; in the garden, under the walnut tree, waving us over from the drive. Mamma-dearest rocking in her hammock, Aurora sprawled on a rug on the grass, Pearl with her feet tucked up on her wicker chair, hugging her knees, Batty Aunt Lilah pattering about with her secateurs. And coming towards us over the lawns, Fleur, in a pale green frock with her hair cut short and her arm around Sabbatina, who was as brown as a gypsy and wearing a tennis dress.

‘Darling Dandy,’ said Fleur, as we walked towards them, and I knew from just those two words that she was herself again.

‘You’re late!’ shouted Pearl. ‘We’ve had to make fresh tea twice already and the icing’s melted on the big cake.’

‘It’s so wonderful to see you, Dan,’ said Fleur. ‘And you, Mr Osborne. How is that delicious little doggy of yours?’

‘Where’s Jeanne?’ I said, and Fleur caught Sabbatina’s eye and giggled.

‘In the village,’ she said. ‘At the widowed doctor’s for tea. She’s made an absolute conquest of him, but it’s very naughty of her to miss your visit.’

She and Sabbatina turned and started walking ahead of us back to the others.

‘I’ll live,’ I said in a low voice to Alec.

‘Doggy, indeed,’ he muttered.

‘Oh, darling, that’s nothing,’ I said. ‘I did warn you about the Lipscott Delight, but you were determined to show me Dorset . . .’

‘Mr Osborne,’ said Mamma-dearest as we reached her. ‘I have a great deal of making up to do, for what a sourpuss I was last time. Do sit beside me and let me begin. And do, of course, let me introduce you to our dear sweet precious Sabba-tinkle-tina. I had no idea you two hadn’t met.’

I made sure that my chair faced Alec’s and sat down to enjoy the show.

The building that houses St Columba’s is on the spot where the Portpatrick Hotel can be found, glowering down on the village. As far as I know there has never been a girls’ school there and certainly St Columba’s, the
institution
, is entirely fictitious.

The Crown in the novel shares a name and location with The Crown in Portpatrick, but nothing else.

I’m not absolutely sure that the tide between Port Kale and Port Mora ever goes out far enough to allow someone to walk safely along the beach between them, and so would advise even Dandy’s most ardent fan not to try.