Dangerous Heart (18 page)
Authors: Tracey Bateman
“Because I'm a doctor, and it's what God's given me to do.”
Ginger's gaze dropped to his lips. “You do Him proud.”
Grant drew a quick breath. “Will you marry me?”
The abrupt question startled Ginger. Her eyebrows rose as she lifted her eyes back to his. “Marry you?”
“I love you.”
“But it was my fault Sarah died.” Tears spilled over and
flowed down her cheeks. “How can you possibly move on from that?”
“It was not your fault. Sarah was killed by an outlaw's bullet. You were as much an innocent victim as she was.”
She could see in his eyes that he believed what he said. Relief flooded her. “Are you sure?” she whispered. With all of her being, she wanted to be this man's wife.
“Does that mean you're saying yes?”
Ginger's mouth curved into a smile. Grant didn't wait for another second, he lowered his head. Ginger had never experienced the new emotions rising inside of her as his warm lips moved over hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and allowed herself to surrender to his kiss, his touch, his love.
Oregon might be the destination for many of the pioneers, but as far as Ginger was concerned, as long as she remained in Grant's arms, she had reached her promised land.
Three years later, Oregon
The soft strains of “Amazing Grace” filtered softly into the fresh air of a warm summer day in the Willamette Valley as Ginger, Toni, and Fannie walked together from the barn. Ginger loved Sundays, when their friends came and Sam conducted a barn service. It would have to do until the little community had the funds for a real church. For now, Ginger enjoyed watching the children running around the yard and pestering the chickens and working up the dogs into an excited frenzy.
Fannie and Toni each had two children, and Ginger and Grant were well on their way to joining them in numbers. Little Clementine had joined the family nine months after the wedding. And the new baby was due any time.
Sam had been especially long-winded this morning, and by the time he said the final
amen
, the sun beat down on the barn, and everyone was drenched.
“Goodness,” Toni said, fanning herself with her hands. “He's going to have to tone it down until this hot spell lets up, or we'll all be cooked before harvest comes.”
The three women laughed. Fannie turned to Ginger. “How are you feeling?”
“Hot,” Ginger said, grinning. She knew full well what her friend meant.
Nudging her, Fannie urged, “Do you think it'll be this week?”
“I'd be surprised if this baby didn't come before next Sunday.”
Truth be told, she'd be surprised if she lasted the night.
“Where do you want these things?” Blake called from the wagon. He held up a basket that Ginger knew from experience would be laden with all sorts of delicious food. Enough to feed an army.
Fannie smiled, blowing a puff of soft red curls from her face. “Set it on the table over there.”
“Did you hear we're getting a teacher?” Ginger asked. “That means when our children are old enough, they'll have a real teacher and a real school to attend. Isn't that marvelous?”
“It sure is,” Fannie replied, her enthusiasm flashing in her brown eyes. She turned to Toni. “Why are you so quiet all of a sudden? Don't you like the idea of getting a teacher? The township is growing by leaps and bounds.”
“I'm thrilled there'll be a teacher for the children. Only⦔ Toni drew a slow breath. “Sam and I won't be here that long.”
“What do you mean?” Ginger asked, placing a restraining hand on her friend's arm as she halted her steps and faced Toni. “Where are you going?”
“Oh, Ginger. We can't raise our children here.” She swept the air with her hand. “They'll never be accepted by whites. I doubt the school board would even allow half-Indian children to attend school with white children.”
“Hogwash. Sammy and Lilith are only a quarter Indian,” Ginger said, knowing that didn't matter.
Fannie expelled a soft sigh. “Blake and I have been expecting this. When will you go, and where?”
Brightening, Toni smiled. “We're going to live close to Fort Laramie. The Sioux have a camp close by and come there often to trade. Sam feels a call from God to live close to them and teach them about Jesus. I will also teach the children to read and write.” Her voice broke. “I'm honored and grateful that God would choose to use me after all I've done in my past.”
Ginger slipped an arm around her friend. “He's given all of us second chances. But I'm going to miss you. And what about our services?”
“Don't worry. We won't leave until after harvest. By then, we hope God will have sent someone to take Sam's place.”
“No one could ever take his place. Or yours,” Fannie said, sniffing as tears filled her eyes. “But I'm happy that God has led each of us into the life He planned.”
“Amen to that,” Ginger said. “Now we better get to setting out the food before our children and husbands start complaining.”
As if by unspoken agreement, the three women pushed aside thoughts of Toni and Sam's departure and determined to enjoy their day together. Who knew how many Sundays such as this one they had left to share, laugh, and hold onto their dreams of the future?
That evening, while Yuley played his harmonica, Ginger sat lazily on the porch leaning against Grant. They enjoyed a glorious moon and a soft breeze as the sun went down and twilight descended.
Buddy even took a night off from studying for the entrance
exam to medical college back east. If he passed the test, he'd be leaving in a few months to begin his studies. The thought filled Ginger with sorrow, but she knew it was the right thing. And she could no sooner forbid Buddy his chance to live his dream than she could have stopped the rain from falling.
Web hadn't lived to see his first grandchild, but he had lived long enough to make a heart change, and when he died, he saw angels. He would have loved a night like this. But Ginger was happy he would be there to greet them when they reached heaven.
The only other person missing from their lives was Yellow Bird. She had decided to stay on at Fort Boise. She'd fallen in love with an enormous fur trader who loved her to distraction and adored Little Sam.
Two-year-old Clemmie toddled up the steps and plopped herself down on Ginger's legs.
Ginger smoothed her hair and kissed her forehead. “Mercy, child where have you been? You look like a wild animal.”
“Unc'a Clem feed chickens. I helped.”
“You helped feed the pigs, too, from the smell of things,” Miss Sadie grumped from her rocking chair. “I can smell you from here, child. Come on, and let's get you cleaned up.”
“Aw, Gwanny.”
Miss Sadie glanced at Ginger and shook her head. “The child takes after you.”
Ginger grinned. “I'm afraid she does.”
“She's perfect,” Grant said. “Give your daddy a kiss before you go.”
Clemmie landed a fat kiss on his mouth. Watching her daughter cradled in her husband's arms sent waves of joy
through Ginger. Her children would grow up under the blessing of God on their lives. Parents, uncles, friends, a good life with God as their center. And her little girl's sweet, if rambunctious, spirit attested to those blessings.
The door closed after them, and Ginger sighed as she settled back against Grant's chest on the wooden porch. “I wonder if a person's heart can get so full it just explodes.”
Grant chuckled. “Are you asking for my professional opinion on the matter?”
“I was just thinking about how blessed we are. Friends and family. Miss Sadie is like the mother I never really had.” She tried to hide her tears. But it was no use.
Grant wrapped his arms around her tightly. “I love you, you know that?”
“You better, considering⦔ She eyed her big belly, then gave a little gasp. She wouldn't be able to keep her secret much longer.
“You okay?” he asked, pressing a kiss to her hair.
“Just a twinge.”
“How many twinges have you been having?”
“Quite a few, to tell you the truth. Relax, Papa.” She teased. “This isn't my first baby.”
“Ginger, have you been having contractions all day without telling me?”
“Well, I didn't want to miss out on our Sunday, and you would have made me stay in bed all day. This is so much better. Only⦔
He disentangled from her and helped her to her feet.
Two hours later, Ginger sat up, happily refreshed and much more energetic than she'd been after delivering Clemmie. Another girl had joined their family. “What shall we name your
new sister, Clemmie?” Ginger asked her sleepy little girl.
“We keep baby?”
The room erupted into laughter. “You bet we are,” Grant said. He lifted Clemmie into his strong arms. “God keeps giving me beautiful, ornery women. I must be the luckiest fellow in the world.”
Miss Sadie snorted. “Either that, or you're the dumbest for considering it a blessing.”
“Baby name Becky?” Clemmie asked.
“You like that name, honey?” Ginger asked. “Where'd you hear it?”
Clem coughed loudly. “Uh, let's go on out of here and let your ma get her rest.”
Ginger grinned at her brother. “Clem Freeman. Do you have a girl?”
“They just came in on the new wagon train.”
“You must like her if you're already talking about her.”
“My niece has a big mouth, just like her ma.”
Again, laughter filled the air. Ginger looked down at her beautiful new daughter. “Sarah.”
She lifted her gaze to Grant. His eyes shone with tenderness. “Are you sure?” he asked. She nodded.
Grant knelt down beside her bed. He kissed the baby. Then pressed his lips against Ginger's.
“It's perfect.”
Secure in God's love and the love of a large, wonderful family, Ginger closed her eyes as the fatigue overcame her. She drifted to sleep with a smile on her lips.
Dear Reader,
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I'm heartbroken to be writing my final reader letter for the Westward Heart series. What a wonderful adventure this has been. I'm truly sorry to see it end and say goodbye to Fannie, Toni, Ginger, and the ensemble cast of characters that made up the wagon train and appeared in each book.
Through Ginger, I chose to end the series with the most difficult of the three heroines to love. I see so much of me in her. Sometimes unlovable, with so much still to learn about His ways and the things that please Him. My prayer is that God will always look at me through eyes of mercy and grace and not punish me according to what I deserve, (Psalm 103:10) lest I be brought to nothing, but to discipline me according His tender mercy.
There was a lot of ugliness, illness, dirt in this book. It unsettled me a little, as my senses were engaged, imagining each scene (my imagination is VERY vivid!). The outlaws in this book were so vile and filthy, because I wanted to contrast for Ginger, the ugliness of sin with the goodness of God revealed in people like Miss Sadie, Mr. Harrison, the sweet innocence of Yuley and Alfie Harrison, and, of course, the heroic and tender grace from a man like Grant. I wanted to show a deep change from where she had come from in her life to the blessed promised land God was preparing for her.
No matter where you are today in your own life, God has a wonderful plan that involves your good. His sweetness makes me smile. His kindness takes my breath away, His love is better than life. He is the ultimate hero. Every beat of my heart is for Him. I
pray that as you read this book, God showed you His great desire to pull you from the ugliness of your past. To wipe away the guilt and pain of the past and give you the peace that a child of God must come to as we learn to trust His love and grace.
Ginger asked a question of Miss Sadie, speaking of forgiveness, “If God is God, how can He forget?” Miss Sadie answers with scripture, “He forgets for His sake.” God is sovereign, He blots out our past, any confessed sin because He chooses to. It's that simple. Our minds make it so hard to wrap around. But as far as God is concerned, it's a matter of closing a door and never looking back.
And now, as I close the door on this final book in the Westward Hearts series, let me say thank you for taking this journey with me. May God bless you richly as you walk the journey He has set before you, and may He bring you to green pastures, sit you next to still waters, and deepen your roots in Him as He restores your soul.
Tracey Bateman
- By the time the book opens, Ginger has been with the wagon train for two months and has come to admire the goodness displayed by the pioneers she's grown close to. If someone like Ginger were to walk into your life, would you be salty enough to make her thirsty for God?
- Loyalty runs as a thread throughout the book, showing Ginger's true heart beneath the gruff exterior. Who do you know like this? How difficult do you find the task of looking beneath the surface dirt to the cry of the heart?
- Following up on question number two: What about your own gruff exterior, or the walls you throw up for protection? How deep do people have to look to find your true nature? What will it take, do you think, for God to wipe away all that isn't transparent?
- As you read
Dangerous Heart
, who did you most identify with, and why? Ginger, the outlaws, Miss Sadie? Or someone else? What do you think your choice says about your self-image? - Often Ginger makes wrong choices, knowing there might be consequences she won't enjoyâfor instance, being put on water detail when she wants to be free to join the hunters or scouts. God's discipline still offers us a choice. We can either submit and move past the test with confidence, victory, and a new step in our walk with Christ; or we can rebel further and cause more distance between us and God. Do you ever find yourself in the middle of a rebellious choice, having to deal with the consequences of those choices? What do you do when put on the “water detail” of the Lord?
- When Grant apologizes to Ginger in chapter one, it catches her off guard and chips at her defenses. When was the last time you gave a smile when someone expected you to frown? How does sometimes doing the unexpected tenderize the moment between you and someone you care about? Are you up to a challenge? Give the “soft answer that turns away wrath.” Or something equally unexpected to thwart a potentially volatile situation in your life. And if you want, write to me and share the testimony:
[email protected]
. - I love the way the people that God has brought into Ginger's life tend to see beyond who she is now to the potential in her, and they tend to speak to that part of her. Grant sees her loyalty; Miss Sadie sees her purity; Blake sees her as a capable scout and gives her chances despite her stubbornness. What does this say about a person “becoming” what people expectâgood or bad? Can you give examples of this in entertainment personalities or people you know?
- Ginger chose to go to the outlaw camp and nurse the men, even though cholera raged. In a parallel, when we become “clean,” we often go back to where we came from because we so want our friends to see the new life and want what we have. Was this true in your life? How difficult was it to remain friends with your unsaved friends after you came to Jesus?
- Ginger believes she can't be with Grant because she feels responsible for his first wife's death. One of the major tools of the enemy of our souls is condemnation. 1 John 3:21 says if our heart doesn't condemn us we have confidence before God. We can know that we belong to Jesus and come before Him with the confidence of a woman who knows she's loved. Do you find yourself believing you aren't worthy of God's goodness? How do you face that lie from the devil?
- Ginger has trouble believing God can truly forgive someone like Web. She wonders how God can possibly forget, if He's God. Miss Sadie shares scripture with her that God blots out those sins for His own sake. Sometimes it's hard to believe God can forgive someone we can't seem to forgive ourselves. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive, as you realize the very sin you are holding against them is something God has blotted out for His own sake? It can be a process or an instant step. As you pray for God's grace, let Him show you how to walk free of the bitterness of your past.
