Dangerous Secrets (43 page)

‶
Good to see you again,
Ben.″ Jack leaned over and shook hands. Ben Laurini retired from the CIA
two years after Jack joined. He′d befriended Jack the first day Jack
walked into the training facility, and on more than one occasion something Ben
had taught him came back when Jack found himself cornered and facing some
serious form of death or mutilation.

‶
It′s been a while,″
Ben said.
‶
Glad
to see you though. I′ve been looking for you for a while. I got a call
from Brian Ashleigh himself. He too thought you might be in the area.″

Jack thought someone might have called him.
Even retirement didn′t really mean retired when a fellow agent was in
trouble. Ben was that kind of guy. He′d taken retiring from the field
hard, but adjusted at the training facility. When he moved into full retirement
and returned to his native Ohio, he′d taken to life as if he savored
every day the good Lord gave him.

‶
How′s Olivia?″

‶
Olivia′s fine. The kids
and grandkids are all doing well.″ Ben got the small talk out of the way
quickly.
‶
Your
sisters?″

‶
Everyone is fine.″ He
grouped his four sisters and parents into one complete sentence.

‶
Did you find anything?″
Jack asked the question both he and Ben knew he wanted answered. He′d
called Ben when he went to the helicopter. Using the on-board radio, he checked
to see if Ben was still using his short-wave radio. Thankfully, he was and Ben
told him he′d already been contacted. Jack arranged to meet him.

‶
I only had a short time, but I
found out Miss Kirkwood′s gym partners are being held in a safe house.
They are concerned about her. It might be a good idea if you let the young lady
call them. And I′m sure the two agents protecting them would appreciate
it too.″

Ben reached in his pocket and pulled out a cell
phone.
‶
Remnant
from a past life,″ he explained.

Jack took it. he would call Morgan if he
trusted the phone he gave her, but she was alone and they′d been ambushed
once already.
‶
Anything
else?″ Jack asked.

‶
The people on the highway were
long gone before anyone could get to them.″

‶
What about the helicopter? I
have it hidden back near the cave. We should be able to find out something from
it. It′s definitely military.″

‶
I′ve already made the
calls. They′ll get the bird tonight. By morning you′ll know
everything it knows.″

***

Morgan shivered in the cave. The fire was too
small to heat the cavernous area. It gave her rudimentary light, throwing vast,
grotesque shadows against the jagged rock. She felt the darkness close in on
her. Fear made her tremble.

Jack had been gone a long time. She wondered
where he was and when he would return. Paranoia made her think he′d
abandoned her. Like her mothers, both of them. They′d left her in the
world to make her way--alone.

She hobbled outside. Morgan hadn′t
exercised in days and she felt the need to move. Of course, running for her
life, climbing trees, and into helicopters in motion, wasn′t the same as
cartwheels, swinging from uneven parallel bars or tumbling around a carpeted
floor. With her leg cramping her ability, she concentrated on upper body
exercises. She stood on her hands and balanced her weight above her head. Going
up and coming down on her good leg worked fine for several minutes. Then
inadvertently she fell on the bad leg. Biting her lower lip, she held the
scream inside.

Getting up, she tried it again. She remembered
her coach′s words that she could do it if she put her mind to it and even
if one part of her body was hurt, the other parts worked fine. But out here in
the dark, where could she find something uneven or even parallel so she could
try her routines? She had nothing. So she made do with handstands and floor
stretches.

Usually her mind was totally absorbed in her
exercise. She′d review the routine or recited affirmations, but now she
thought of Jack. She couldn′t help it. No matter what she tried, since he
came back into her life she could think of nothing else, especially after he
kissed her in the bathroom. Her mouth tingled when she thought of that. Her
body had been hot and she could feel every inch of him pressing into her. He
wanted her as much as she wanted him. She′d forgotten that in the light
of what he said, but she knew Jack wasn′t as immune to her as he
pretended.

She even wondered if his reason for going into
town was to give himself some time away from her. If they were leaving in the
morning there was no need for him to go and get supplies. They could live one
day without food. Her stomach growled at that moment reminding her she
was
hungry.

Morgan went on trying to do exercises, but with
her mind on Jack she kept coming down on the wrong leg. Finally she gave up and
sat down.

The sky was dark, light coming from a half moon
and stars that rained overhead like tiny points of glitter spangled in the
darkness. Many nights she′d spent this way, alone with only herself and
the stars for company. She hadn′t thought of anyone other than herself.
Before she′d befriended Jean, her next meal was her only concern. Now she
thought of a man—Jack.

Then Morgan did something she hadn′t done
since she was twelve years old. She lifted her head to the heavens and wished
on a star.

***

Jack took a cart from the rows of interlocking
metal carriages and headed for the produce section. Ben had left the van with
him. He hadn′t told Jack how he was getting home and Jack hadn′t
asked. Camping supplies filled most of the back cabin. The gear could act as a
cover and be functional. Again he thought of Morgan in the cave. She could use
the blankets that sat on the back seat.

Jack also stopped in a store to gather a few
things Ben hadn′t had time to gather. They needed real food. He′d
found a tin of Olivia′s coconut macaroons which Ben knew he was partial
to. He′d buy a ready-made salad and a few non-perishable foods.

One wheel squeaked as he pushed the cart. He
considered returning it for another, but stopped, refusing to break one of his
own rules. Only travel the distance once, he′d told himself over the
years. This was a get-in-and-get-out situation. He wasn′t here to compare
prices or socialize with a neighbor he hadn′t seen in months, who
happened to turn one end of an aisle as he turned the other. He was here to
grab what they needed and return. If he was lucky no one would remember
he′d ever been there.

Equally lucky for him, the store was one of
those gargantuan places with aisle upon aisle carrying everything from what a
person would need to diagnose most ailments to swimming pool supplies. Bananas
and Mrs. Smith′s Apple Pie could share space in the same grocery cart
with a color television, a bottle of white wine, work boots and books.
Stop and Shop,
the outside sign had
read. Jack saw it as a true definition of one-stop shopping.

Besides the salad in Jack′s cart he added
bottles of juice, water, some carrots, Parmelat milk, crackers, a pair of work
pants for him and a T-shirt advertising the Cleveland Browns. He thought of
getting a matching one for Morgan, but stemmed the idea as too suggestive of a
relationship. Instead he got her a pair of long pants and a plain shirt. His
eye for size was perfect, especially after his hands had sized her from neck to
hips, but he picked up a sewing kit anyway, in case the fit needed adjustment.
On his way to the cash register he threw a comb and brush combination in the
basket and stopped in front of a wall of cosmetics. He selected a tube of
lipstick. Women could exist without a lot of amenities and Morgan had yet to
complain of their hardship, but makeup was one commodity that rivaled food as a
basic necessity of life.

On the same shelf as the lipstick Jack knocked
down a box hanging from a metal extension. He bent over and picked it up. About
to return it to its place, he hesitated. The box contained condoms. Pictures of
Morgan naked in the bathroom flooded his mind like a reel of film. He gripped
the cart tighter and hesitated, staring at the box. He lifted his arm to
replace it on its metal arm, then stopped. A second later he threw the box into
the cart.

‶
What the hell?″ he muttered.
It was better to err on the side of safety.

Jack obeyed all the rules of the road on his
drive back to Morgan. He couldn′t explain his feelings at being separated
from her. He thought of her constantly, wondering if she were all right.
Grabbing the lipstick, he held it in his hand. It was as close to her as he
could get.

***

When he returned he parked the van and covered
it with as many branches as he could find. Carrying the bag with their food, he
could see no light coming from the cave as he approached it.

She didn′t come to the mouth of the cave
when Jack approached. It was dark inside and anyone coming to do harm would be
at a disadvantage until their eyes adjusted to the darkness. Morgan was smart.
She′d know that.

‶
Morgan,″ he called her
name.

‶
It′s me, Jack.″

The lipstick was still held in his. His
heartbeat accelerated. Had she run away again? His legs unconsciously moved
faster. He rushed toward the opening. He was sure the bullet wound would hurt
her too much for her to run.

‶
Damn!″ he cursed. She was
probably lying when she said it didn′t hurt. She knew one of them was
going to have to go for food. She planned this all along.

‶
Jack.″ He heard his named
called and swung around. She hobbled toward him, the gun in her hand.

She′d pulled her hair loose and it fell
about her shoulders. Her face was outlined in the darkness. He took a step
closer. The night was dark but there were still shadows softening her face.
Jack controlled the breath he let out. He had to stop himself from charging
over and pulling her into his arms, burying his face in her hair and taking her
mouth as if the two of them needed to share the same breath.

‶
I brought some blankets.″

‶
In that bag?″ she
laughed, indicating the grocery bag he carried.

‶
This one contains food. Are you
hungry?″

She stood up. Jack noticed she favored her bad
leg. She came toward him.

‶
Famished,″ she said, but
the look Jack saw had nothing to do with nutrition and everything to do with
sex.

‶
This is a job, Morgan.″
Jack turned and put the bag down, then faced her.
‶
It′s not a
romance.″ The words seemed flat. Who was he trying to convince?
He′d bought condoms. He could feel the small box pressing against him
through his pants leg.

‶
What makes you think I′d
want a romance with you?″

Jack sighed, then walked toward her. He could
see her reaction. She wanted to run faster than any jackrabbit he′d ever
seen, but she was a fighter. She′d stand her ground for as long as there
was breath in her body. Well, he′d show her how much breath he could
steal.

‶
The way you look at me.″

‶
And how is that?″

‶
Like your body is ovulating and
I′m the last piece of chocolate candy on the planet.″

‶
I do not,″ Morgan
protested, her voice shrill and high.

Chapter 10

Jack took another step toward her and stopped.
He′d seen her movement. It was slight but recognizable. He admitted she
was good-looking, more than good-looking. At nineteen she′d been a
budding beauty. Today, after running for her life, everything about her was
alive and vibrant and eager for someone to hold her. He continued, walking all
the way up to her until he was so close he could feel the fire between them. It
was red and living, swirling, ready to consume, to take the life out of them
with its oxygen-eating force. Jack waited, saying nothing. He wanted her to
look at him, lift her head and look into his eyes. He knew she′d do it,
knew she couldn′t help but do it. He was patient. His life was built on
being patient. Finally, she raised her eyes and her head. He let the moment
linger, looking at her, running his eyes over her features like a lover ready
to take what was his. Then he leaned closer. Neither his mouth nor his body
touched any part of hers. There was nothing between them but want and need. She
swayed forward. He watched her eyes close and her body begin to melt. Her arms
came up to grab hold of him to prevent her from falling.

‶
You′re a job, Morgan.
This is not a romance,″ Jack said, knowing what her reaction would be.

He stepped back as her eyes flew open and she
regained her balance. She glared at him through storm clouds of emotion, then
stalked off into the darkness as much as her leg would allow.

As the darkness swallowed her, Jack let his
breath escape. God! To say she didn′t have a stranglehold on him was like
saying the blood in his veins was ice water. She positively drove him mad, but
the only way the two of them would survive is if they never crossed the line.
He′d tasted Armageddon more than once, but with Morgan there would be no
reprieve. She was leaving when he got her to Washington. Jacob would give her a
new identity and a new life. They would never see each other again. Even if he
left the CIA, he couldn′t go with her. Jack knew it. It was unfair to
both of them to get involved, to begin a relationship that had no future. It
had been the pattern of her life. People leaving her. He didn′t want her
to think of him as one of the others, someone from her past who′d come
and gone.

She′d be devastated and he′d—. Jack
didn′t want to think about what he′d be when this was over. He
wanted her more than he′d ever wanted any woman. He′d come damn
close to having her in that hotel bathroom. He′d wanted to ravish her
then and that want hadn′t diminished by a single iota. His only refuge
was to keep his head and stay on his side of the line.

***

Morgan was past angry. She sat on the ground,
hugging her knees to her chest and rocking back and forth. Jack brought out the
tiger in her and he seemed to do it on purpose. Why had he intentionally begun
a fight? She′d done nothing, but they couldn′t be together without
some strong emotion occupying the same space. Jack was determined to make that
emotion anger. She wondered why.

Morgan checked the sky for a possible answer.
Earlier she′d been wishing on a star, now she wanted to know why Jack—

She stopped.

‶
He′s
afraid,′′ she said out loud. He was afraid of her. Why? Every time
she got near him, he retreated.

Morgan didn′t have time to discover the
answer. Something dropped in her lap and she jumped. Jack stood outlined in the
darkness three feet from where she sat.

‶
Morgan.″

She looked at what he′d dropped. It was
makeup, lipstick, a comb and brush.

‶
You thought about me,″
she said, not bothering to keep the incredulity out of her voice. It followed
right in with the train of her thoughts. Jack never bothered with anyone, but
when he went out he′d thought enough to bring her back lipstick and a
comb.

‶
They were at the checkout
stand,″ he covered, with a slight lift of his shoulder. She saw the
movement in silhouette.

‶
Why are you afraid of
me?′′ she asked, voicing the thoughts that were uppermost in her
mind.

‶
Why do you think I am?″
His question was asked slowly as if he were buying time, trying to figure her
out. He didn′t know her as well as he thought he did. Maybe he′d
read her file. She didn′t know what was in it, but she was sure it
existed somewhere in the annals of the CIA.

Morgan got to her feet. She moved toward him
slowly. Her leg hurt but it was secondary to her purpose now.

‶
You push me back each time you
have to touch me and you take serious measures not to touch me.″

‶
I don′t want to
complicate things.″

‶
We′re running for our lives,
Jack. Things can′t get more complicated.″

He stared at her but didn′t answer.

‶
If we get killed all
complications end, so it can′t be the threat to our lives you fear. Tell
me what it is?″

Jack didn′t move, but Morgan noticed his
shoulders move slightly.
‶
You know Jacob Winston?″

‶
Not personally. We′ve met
once.″

‶
When we get to D.C., what do
you think will happen?″

Morgan looked away. She hadn′t wanted to
think about getting to D.C. She knew she and Jack would part there and while
her life was on the line here, she was still with him.

‶
I hoped I′d be
safe.″

‶
How do you think that will
happen?″

‶
I don′t know. I guess
I′ll find out what the FBI is going to do.″

‶
And if they could do
nothing?″

‶
Why are you asking me all these
questions?″

‵
′Morgan, Jacob Winston is
the director of the witness protection program. That′s where you′re
going when I get you to Washington.″

So it wasn′t her. He was afraid of her
leaving him. Could she be right?

‶
Then you′re not as
impervious to me as you claim,″ Morgan challenged. She started toward
him.

‶
Back off, Morgan. You′re
way out of your depth here.″

Morgan didn′t back off. She
couldn′t say what pushed her. She was so tired of Jack acting like he
ruled the world. Her world at least. He made the rules and she was expected to
follow them. Well, she wouldn′t this time. Something inside her wanted to
know that he wasn′t all stone and granite, that he was human. That his
control could either meltdown the way hers did.

Jack stared at her, his eyes hooded and as
impossible to read as always, but this time Morgan didn′t care. This time
she was determined to have the upper hand. She went toward him. He didn′t
move back, but she saw him react as if he wanted to. As quickly as it happened
it was gone. He was in control again. A fragile control and she knew it.

‶
Let′s test my
depth,″ she said. She grabbed the snap on his jeans, releasing it and the
zipper in one smooth stroke. Her hands moved faster than he thought or he was
more surprised than anything else when she plunged them inside his pants and
surrounded him. He was already erect. She′d known it, but the proof gave
her more confidence, more power.

Out of pure reaction and self-preservation,
Jack′s hands grabbed Morgan′s shoulders, crushing them so tightly
she should have screamed. She didn′t even feel the pain. Not in her
shoulders. Not in her leg.

‶
Morgan, stop!″ His voice
was a wail, like a wild, wounded animal. She ignored him, raking her long
fingernails over the rigid length of him.

‶
Tell me,″ she whispered,
keeping her voice intentionally controlled, intentionally low and seductive.
‶
Tell
me, Jack.″

Jack′s knees bent and his head fell on
her shoulder. She supported his weight, continuing her torture. She knew he was
human, knew he wanted her. He′d told himself he wasn′t human for so
long, he believed it. She refused to let him continue to think like that.
She′d force him to know the truth, just as he′d forced her to see
it.

His breath on her neck was hard and ragged and
his hands would probably leave bruises on her shoulders.

‶
Morgan, please stop.″ He
pleaded with her.

‶
You don′t want that,
Jack,″ she told him, continuing that seductively low voice, a whisper and
a caress in one.
‶
I know what you want. You want me. You′ve
wanted me since that first day at Olympic training camp. I could see it in your
eyes.′′

‶
You′re wrong.″ His
words were stretched apart like a person who was learning to speak the language
and struggling to remember the right combination.

‶
I could see it in the way you
looked at me when you didn′t think I noticed. You kept me in your sight
as if we were would-be lovers with business ahead of us.″

‶
I did nothing. . .of the. .
.kind.″ He faltered.

‶
Didn′t you, Jack?″

‶
That′s not the
reason.″

‶
If I′m wrong, Jack, if we
have no unfinished business, why don′t you stop me?″ She moved her
head back, giving him access to her neck. He groaned.
‶
Why don′t you
pull my hands away?″ She′d worked his jeans and shorts down. Her
hands touched his hot skin, drawing circles over his buttocks, teasing the skin
as she brought her hands closer and closer together, closer and closer to the
sensitive point of his erection.
‶
I′m here, Jack.″
Her tongue licked his flame-incensed shoulder.
‶
I want you.″ She kissed
his collarbone.
‶
Take
me, Jack. Take me.″

‶
You don′t know what
you′re saying.″

‶
I do.″ As harsh as his
voice was, she kept hers velvet, dark and caressing like a summer night.

His hands squeezed tighter on her shoulders.
The pain registered and she winced. Quickly he released her and like lightning
grabbed her wrists and pulled her hands away from his body.

‶
You want me to make love to
you,″ he stated. His eyes bore into her like a drill.
‶
It
wouldn′t be love, Morgan. It′s lust! Do you hear me? Pure and
simple lust. And in its most basic form.″

She didn′t have the use of her hands, but
she had her body. She moved into him, making contact. Her breasts hovered
against his chest. She spread her legs and let his erection find its home. His
groan was muffled but she heard it.

‶
I′m not in love with
you,″ she lied. Then she raised her head until her mouth was only a kiss
away from his.

Jack′s body was a mass of connected
coils, but he was down to a single thread holding it all together. Morgan
frayed that thread until an electron microscope would be needed to see it, but
it held. One more rub and it would snap. She wouldn′t cut it. He had to
do that. He had to be the one to make the final step. She wouldn′t make
it easy for him. She wouldn′t back off, step away, give him the chance to
fall back into that safe world where there was no feeling, no emotion, no love.

‶
Morgan,″ he groaned and
yanked on the wrists he held, pulling her forward. His mouth slammed into hers,
rough and hard. There was no softness in him. His tongue rushed into her mouth
and his hands banded her to him. He took the kiss as if decades had passed
since he′d kissed anyone. Everything about him said there was no escape
for her. She′d asked for it and she was getting what she demanded.

His hands moved over her clothes, ripping them
from her and raking over her skin like claws. She felt their roughness on her
breasts and shoulders as her T-shirt and bra were replaced by large hands. His
mouth left hers and traveled over her neck. His teeth scored her skin,
punishing it as he went to her breasts. His teeth closed over her nipple and
she cried out at the pleasure that fissured through her, spiraling inside her
and settling between her legs.

Her hands held his head, keeping him there,
allowing him to torture her as she had done him. She knew he was trying to
prove himself right, that he wasn′t making love to her. That this was
lust, pure and simple, as he′d told her. Basic, he′d said. But she
knew better. She knew nothing like this had ever happened to her before and the
experience for him was new and wonderful and full of promise. But promises
weren′t something Jack understood or relied on. He couldn′t give to
another person. He had no practice in trusting another person and to completely
lose control as he was doing was something he would want to stop. He would stop
too. She wouldn′t let him. Morgan clamped her arms around his neck and
molded herself to him, sliding her injured leg up and down his, feeling his
hardness against her increase, listening to the groans that passed from his
mouth to hers.

Jack held her crushingly tight, bending her
backward as his mouth devoured hers. On one leg, she clung to Jack to keep from
falling. She set her leg on the ground oblivious to any pain. His hands moved
all over her. Burning heat surrounded her. She could almost see it glow in the
darkness.

Jack had to be out of his mind. There was
nothing else to explain it. He should stop. Now! But he didn′t want to.
He′d dreamed about Morgan, awakened in frustrated sweats from the erotic
fantasies he′d shared with her. Not one of them compared to what was
happening to him now. No dream could match her softness, the way she felt in
his arms, the way her smooth skin contrasted his rough hands, the way her soap
smelled on clean skin.

He was lost, over the edge, unable to do
anything more than dive into the pool she′d created, make her his, keep
her close and love her. The time for turning back had passed. He had to keep
going. His chance to keep control ended when Morgan unsnapped his jeans.