Daniel's Gift (23 page)

He had been slow to start dating and his first sexual experiences had been a tangle of arms and legs, and girls who never wanted to see him again. Over the years, he had developed more finesse and confidence in himself, but he had never found the right woman, the perfect woman. Until Jenny.

Jenny was soft and loving, generous to a fault. With her he saw a future where there had been nothing before. The only problem was that Jenny's passion for life didn't seem to extend to him.

Six months, and they still hadn't made love. Jenny had told him from the beginning that she was cautious about relationships, that she had been hurt in the past, and with a child to worry about, she couldn't afford to jump into bed with the first man who came along. He had accepted her reasoning, had even been impressed by her restraint. After all, he was looking for a partner, not just a lay. But even his patience had a limit.

In the last few weeks, their evenings had had more silences than conversation, maybe because they were both feeling tense about the future of their relationship. Jenny had told him just last week that she wanted to make love with him, that she wanted things to work out, that he was a good man and that she cared for him -- but ... and that was the problem, there always seemed to be a reason why she wasn't ready.

He knew Danny wasn't helping. Despite Alan's efforts to be a substitute dad, he had never hit it off with Danny, which drove another wedge between him and Jenny.

Alan flipped through two more channels and mindlessly perused a soccer match, not realizing for a good five minutes that the announcer was speaking Spanish.

In disgust, he turned off the television and swung his legs off the couch. His apartment was small and cluttered. His dirty gym clothes lay in a heap by the front door. His gun lay on the dining room table along with three half-finished cartons of Chinese food.

What a dump, he thought. He had been living in northern California for three years and still hadn't hung a picture on the wall. In fact, he spent as little time as possible in his apartment. Most of his time was spent in his patrol car, at the station, or at Jenny's house.

Alan remembered the first time he had met Jenny. She had been working the cash register at McDougal's Market. Her smile had caught his eye. For six weeks, he had gone to her line, even though the others were shorter, because Jenny had a tendency to chat with anyone who came by.

Finally, he had asked her out for dinner. They had gone to dinner at Chuck's Steakhouse. He had blown a week's salary on a bottle of champagne, hoping to impress her. Of course, it hadn't taken him long to realize that Jenny didn't give a damn about expensive gestures.

Reaching over, he picked up the photograph on the coffee table -- Jenny at the Pumpkin Festival. Danny had taken the picture, so he wasn't in it, but Alan remembered the day, wishing it could have been as nice as the picture. Danny had spoiled it, wanting Jenny's complete attention, refusing to pick out any pumpkin that Alan liked, and generally being obnoxious. Jenny had scolded him quietly, gently, but her words had had no effect.

The same softness that appealed to Alan also allowed Danny to manipulate his mother. If -- when he and Jenny got married, he would lay down rules, restrictions. That is, if Danny pulled through. And if -- his gut tightened -- if Luke Sheridan stayed the hell out of their lives.

Alan knew that Luke was the biggest threat to their relationship. Whatever problems he and Jenny had could be worked out. Danny would eventually see that Alan cared about him even if he was strict.

But none of that would happen if Jenny let her first love back into her life. Alan had seen the way she looked at Luke, the way Luke had looked at her. It was an image that haunted him, terrified him, because Jenny had never looked at him like that, with longing, desire.

He had tried to rationalize that her lack of interest in sex probably meant that she just wasn't a woman who really enjoyed sex. But one look between Luke and Jenny had sent that thought right out of his mind.

He knew she had been with Luke. After all, he was apparently Danny's father. The fact that Luke had slept with Jenny and Alan hadn't made him illogically angry. He wished he could make her his now, tonight, drive all thoughts of Luke Sheridan from her mind.

But Jenny was at the hospital, and he was alone.

Damn it all.

He was getting old, almost forty. He was going to be alone for the rest of his life if he didn't find the right mate soon. He had invested six months in dating Jenny, going slow at her request. He'd be damned if Luke Sheridan could waltz back into her life and steal her away. Alan Brady protected what was his, and Jenny was his.

A knock came at the door, and Alan instinctively tensed. It was almost ten. Maybe it was Jenny. When he opened the door, Sue was standing on the doorstep, her expression grim.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I went down to the Acapulco Lounge again. I wanted to talk to the bartender who was working Friday night."

Alan pulled her into the apartment and shut the door behind her. "And?"

"He said Matt St. Claire was drinking heavily that night. He left a few minutes before the accident with a group of people. They were heading down Tully Road, the same road on which Danny was hit."

"Go on."

"The bartender also said that Matt can't find his car and has no recollection of where he went Friday night."

Alan stared at her, knowing that she was saying aloud exactly what he had been thinking, that Jenny's beloved brother was driving the car that hit her beloved son.

"Good God in heaven. Jenny will die," he said.

"Jenny won't die. But Danny might. Like it or not, we have our first suspect."

Chapter Sixteen

Monday dawned with crisp, clear sunshine, making the fogginess of Friday seem like a lifetime ago. Jenny parked Merrilee's navy blue Lexus in the hospital parking lot and got out of the car.

Today was a new day, a beginning, and even with only four hours of sleep behind her, Jenny felt more optimistic than she had the day before. Maybe it had something to do with talking to Luke, making her position clear, taking charge, instead of wondering when and where he would show up next. Whatever the reason, Jenny felt confident that the day would bring new hope, new possibilities.

As she walked toward the hospital, she noticed a lone man sitting on a bench just to the side of the front door. The man was dressed in faded blue jeans and a dark-hooded sweatshirt. Next to him was an old ten-speed bicycle. It looked familiar. He looked familiar.

The man raised his head as she approached. His eyes met hers. They were filled with anguish.

"Matt," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Jenny studied his unshaven face, his bloodshot eyes. Matt looked terrible, hung over, and much older than his thirty-four years. She felt a twinge of pity at the sight and put a hand on his knee, once again feeling like the big sister instead of the little sister. "Are you all right?"

"Jesus, how can you ask me that? I should be asking you. Asking about Danny. Tell me -- how is he?"

"He's not good, Matt. He has a head injury and he's been unconscious since the accident. The doctors say he's in a coma. It could go on indefinitely."

"Shit." Matt shook his head. "God, why did it have to happen to him? He's just a stupid kid."

"I don't know. I don't think there's an answer."

"You sound like you've given up."

"Not on your life," Jenny said fiercely. "I won't give up, not ever. But I'm trying to get beyond anger and blame. Those emotions won't help Danny. I need a plan of attack, things I can do to encourage him to wake up."

"Like what? What can you do? What can anyone do?"

"Talk to him, sing to him, visit him." Jenny opened her purse and pulled out a sheet of paper. "I wrote down a list of his favorite songs and his favorite movies, books, T.V. shows, everything I could think of. I spoke to the nurses. They said I can bring in some of Danny's friends one at a time for a short while to see if anyone can get through to him."

Matt looked at her in amazement. "Wow, you're really together, Jen-Jen. I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't this."

"I have to be together, Matt. I can't cry every day -- all day. I can't wish this away, because I've tried, and nothing happened. And unlike my sister, I can't pretend everything will be all right, when I know" -- she took a deep breath -- "that there's a good chance it won't be all right."

"Don't say that."

"I have to say it. I have to face it. I don't want to lose my son. Not now, not to this horrible freak accident. I've had time to think during the past few days, Matt. You know why I didn't tell Danny about Luke? Because I was afraid of losing him to his father, and now I may have lost him forever."

"I thought you were through with blame," Matt said.

"I'm trying to be honest."

"You're always honest. I don't know where you get that from. Everyone else in the family lies through their teeth."

Jenny stood up. "Let's go see Danny."

Matt hesitated. "I'm not good in hospitals, not since my leg got busted up. I still remember that goddamned doctor telling me my career was over."

Jenny fumed at yet another display of his selfishness. "Oh, for God's sake, this isn't about you. I'm not afraid Danny won't be able to play a sport, I'm afraid he won't wake up. Don't you get it?"

Matt stared at her in shock.

"Where have you been, Matt?" she demanded "Where the hell have you been? Getting drunk? I needed you this weekend, and you let me down."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't in any condition to come over here. I thought I'd make things worse."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe you shouldn't be here. Maybe you should be drowning yourself in a bottle of beer. That's your answer to everything, isn't it?"

"I've had a rough couple of years."

"Tough. Grow up, Matt. I need a big brother I can depend on."

Matt stood up. "I'll get out of your way."

"No, you won't get out of my way!" she shouted. "You won't run away from this. You can't. I need you. Danny needs you."

"I'll come back later," Matt said desperately.

"Later? After you've had a couple more drinks? For once in your life, think about someone besides yourself, Matt. Think about your family." She walked away.

I am. Matt wanted to scream the words. He wanted to tell her he was worried about Danny and terrified about what he might have done. He wanted to hold her, comfort her, but she was gone. And he didn't know how to get her back -- how to get anything in his life back.

* * *

"Have you thought about what this will do to your parents?" Denise asked.

Luke gripped the steering wheel, using the traffic as an excuse not to answer her question. Of course he had thought about his parents. They had been on his mind since the accident. That's why he had decided to take off work for the day and drive down the coast to Carmel. He wanted to tell them in person, not over the telephone.

Charles and Beverly Sheridan would not be happy that he had fathered a child, especially not with Jenny as the mother. They had disliked Jenny on sight. She had been too carefree for them, too unspoiled, too honest.

His father had picked apart Jenny's lack of education, her lack of goals. His mother had derided Jenny's clothes, her table manners, her naivete. They had made it clear that they wanted someone entirely different for him, and like everything else in his life, Luke had gone along with their plans.

As an only child, he had been their sole focus outside of medicine. Every minute of his day had been monitored. He was tutored in math and science from the time he was six years old until he graduated from high school, class valedictorian. He never needed the tutor to keep up, but to get ahead and to stay ahead.

Being first, the best, the most important, was all that mattered to his parents. They had both been over-achievers, both valedictorian of their classes. Living up to their standard had sometimes seemed impossible. He had tried. Lord, he had tried, in so many different ways.

For a long time he had wanted what they wanted. Their teachings had completely filled his head, and because they isolated him from outside distractions, he never had the time or the inclination to question their values. Until that summer so many years ago, until a slender, wild-eyed girl had taught him there was so much more to life.

Luke wearily rubbed the back of his neck. He cast a side glance at Denise. After having received no response to her question, she was looking idly out the window.

Luke drummed his fingers on the steering wheel as the traffic slowed yet again. Why had he surrounded himself with so many ambitious people? Denise was just another example. Although she wasn't a doctor, she did have a college degree in communications from UCLA, and had been working as an account executive at a public relations firm when they had met. And while Denise's parents weren't rich, they were both business people, white collar.

His parents had admired Denise's savvy, her public relations expertise and total dedication to advancing Luke's career, at the expense of her own. They had fallen in love with Denise before he had. Sometimes, he thought he had married her just to please them.