Darconville's Cat (85 page)
Jades,
—from Agrippinilla, mother of Nero,
—from Lysistrata and her
antianeirai
,
—from Hyacinthe Chantelouve,
the gernative
backstress,
—from the Ghats of the Indian Ocean,
—from Lady Midhurst, the gongoon,
—from Seraphina Feliciano, Contesse de
Cagliostro,
—from Linda Ne Touchez Pas, the tit
of
turncoats,
—from Angerona, goddess of melancholy,
—from Unakuagsak, the Great Mother
of Eskimos,
—from Mistress Libuschka and her
slit-piece,
—from Urganda, the fairy neckbite,
—from the Fifty Daughters of Danaus,
—from Pudicitia and her mattress
knights. .
.”
Dr. Crucifer deambulated, walking in rogational
fashion now, and the drone became perceptibly higher and higher as
he moved. He was overcrowing with hatred and disgust, his mouth
becoming absurdly puckered and puffed as he began a funeral
clap.
“—from Iolanthe the impositrix,
libera nos,
Domine
—from Sycorax, the black poozle,
—from Venus Calva, who was bald,
—from Medea, the craven sluck,
—from Lady Caroline Lamb, whose
clicket was ever
clacking,
—from Efna Koloi, the Queen of Ashanti,
—from Miss Dubedatandshedidbedad,
—from Lucrezia del Sarto,
la
scapepuzzano
,
—from Mother Atkins of Pinner,
—from Mme. Britannica Hollandia
of Hollands
Leaguer,
—from Anactoria the anispix,
—from Cleopatra VII, high-priestess
of rashers,
—from Rahab the harlot,
—from Melinda Goosestrap, hussy and
cheatstress,
—from Sue Lozo, the sheela-na-gig,
—from Queen Hatshepsut,
bint al-bazra
,
—from Lambito the pintleless,
—from Khatun, Queen of the Mongols,
—from Isabel Burton, the ballacher,
—from Azazel, inventress of jewelry,
—from Paphian Aphrodite, the pocket
thief of
hearts,
—from Charybdis and her voracious
mouth,
—from Lady Macbeth, the missing lynx,
—from Jane ‘Boo’ Faulkner, the nurse
for a
prayer,
—from Eurygale and her fat colworts,
—from Calypso the croshabell,
—from Isadora Klein, the Hebrew
shortheel,
—from Thuvia, Maid of Mars,
—from Parisina Malatesta, the princess
of cats,
—from the Maiden All Forlorn
That Milked the
Cow with the
Crumpled
Horn,
—from Gawrey, the flying scrunch,
—from Atalanta the advoutress,
—from Medusa and her forked hair,
—from Lady Bercilak, the baggage
of
babliaminy,
—from Lamia the hellhag,
—from Telesâ, the
aitu auleaga
of
Samoa,
—from Mother Middle, the factor
of
mediocrity,
—from Sassia, the criminal bimbo,
—from Delilah of Sorek,
the
philoepiorcian philistine,
—from Famiglietta, the Neapolitan
drazel. . .”
Darconville’s heart hammered in his ear as the
grotesque incantation, relentless with the music, summoned up a
terror in him that wiped his countenance clear of all emotions but
the signature of overmastering fear that chilled him up to his hair
and down to his feet. Was he asleep: Was this a bad dream?
“—from Queen Endoxia of Alexandria,
libera nos,
Domine
—from Angiola Pietragwa,
nymphe du
pavé
,
—from disc-headed Hathor, goddess of
Urt,
—from Adnil Notrub, the Falcon
Countess,
—from Taitu, the Mote in the Sunbeam,
—from Cressida, the dreadful she-Ghul,
—from Gothone, the shilpit,
—from Frédégunde, the Frankish frisgig
and
assassin,
—from Agrat bat Mahlah, the axwaddle,
—from Kikimora, the objurgatrix,
—from Clytemnestra, the cullisance
of
scabiosity,
—from Princess Aura, lustful daughter
of Ming the
Merciless,
—from Salome and her shaking rags,
—from Tituba, the human tractatrix,
—from Queen Zinga of Angola,
—from Pasht, the cat-headed woman,
—from Anna Maria Zwanzigar,
pucelle
venimeuse
,
—from the Women of Lemnos,
—from Mother Gruel, the elvish shrew,
—from Irene Adler, the immoderatrix,
—from Stheno the Gorgon and her
wanton
franions,
—from Lais the Corinthian snake,
—from Miss Lookingbothways,
the
laiscarpotic,
—from Laverna, goddess of thieves,
—from the Wasawahili Women
of
Madagascar,
—from Shub-niggurath, craftress of love,
—from Sylvia Tietjens and her enameled
cruelty,
—from Mistress Tomasin, Queen
Elizabeth’s
dwarf,
—from Ulrike von Levetzow and her
organs of
increase,
—from Mutter Erde and her foolish
fecundity,
—from Ann Partridge, schoolmastercide,
—from Cottina, whore of the Levant,
—from Myrtium the frigstress,
—from Ninhursag, the Mesopotamian
matrix,
—from Black Annis of Leicester,
—from Natasha Rostova,
the Woman Who
Couldn’t Wait a
Year,
—from Eris, goddess of discord,
—from Lulu the Wunderkind,
—from Chrysis, Corone, Ischas,
and Antycra, the
Homeric harlots,
—from Gabrina, the pounding waive,
—from Zenobia, the Arab
magliaia
,
—from Bess Broughton’s unbuttoned
smock,
—from all the Amalekite bitches,
—from Lesbia, titular mistress of Martial,
—from Aphrodite Kalligluttus, the
strumpet,
—from the Thumblings of Daeumlinge,
—from Gonorilla and her buzzard
women,
—from Nana the nysot,
—from Mère Guettautrou and her
chagatte,
—from the Women of Midia,
—from Crobyle the Hairbuckle,
—from Echidna the half-snake,
—from Kwotsxwoe, the Quinault
Indian
quaedam,
—from Decreto the Moon Maid,
—from Sechmet, the Egyptian
bloodmonger,
—from Miss Funderburk,
la malheureuse
,
—from Skogfrau, the Woman
of the
Thicket,
—from Mistress Birdlime, Moll
Tenterhook, and
Mabel Wafer,
the loosened
drawlatches . . .”
Crucifer, side-stepping the furniture, was traveling
as well around the ramparts of his own madness, telling it all in a
shower of pain as if he’d stored up such phrases over a lifetime
for such eventualities to proscribe the destinies of souls in a
vocabulary that pretended to exhaust elements for which even the
reaches of uncommon brutality had no interest, no access, and no
words.
“—from Asherah of Ugarit,
libera nos,
Domine
—from Hine-nui-te-po, goddess of death,
—from Erzulie Mapionne, voudounist,
—from Mary Baker Eddy and her
M.A.M.,
—from Trulla, Bradamante,
and Radigund,
warriors of woe,
—from Monhigan, the crow-shaped
enchantress,
—from Dippthese the doxy,
—from La Belle Ferronnière,
la
greluche
,
—from Cynara the Scorta,
—from Pontianek the Amboira Witch,
—from the Empusai vampires,
—from Mayavel, 400-breasted goddess
of the
Agave,
—from Dinah the gadabout,
—from Rhodopis, the insatiable punk,
—from Ishtar, deceiver of Gilgamesh,
—from Keres, eater of corpses,
—from La Gambogi and her ivory teeth,
—from Phanostrate Phtheropyle,
Queen of
Ceronicus,
—from Friga, mistress of Mars,
—from Izanami, Japanese goddess
of
putrefaction,
—from Dark Anu of Ireland,
—from Archidice the lupanarette,
—from Claria Leonza of Venezuela,
stupefier of
men,
—from Nut, goddess of the goetic,
—from Venus Vulgivaga, the wandering
womb,
—from Blodeuwedd the Celtic runnion,
—from all the Potniae, Maniac,
and
Praxidikae,
—from Marguerite de Bourgogne,
la
pavute
,
—from Louiatar, the blind whore
of Pohjola,
—from Manosa, goddess of cobra bite,
—from Madame Pochet and Madame
Gibou,
beastettes,
—from Hathor-Sekhmet, exterminator
of mankind,
—from Chicomecoatl, the empress of
devils,
—from the Danish Ellefruwen
and Swedish
Skogsnufua,
—from Ignoge, Daughter of Albion,
—from Mère Castratrice the trancist,
—from Aphrodite Androphonous,
the Sodomite
vixen,
—from the Women of Goes,
—from Lilith, the Woman-Who-Invites,
—from Archippe and Theoris, the
spoffokins of
Sophocles,
—from Linda Lubberlegs, the Woman
Who Never Showed
Up,
—from Tekla Degener, scold,
—from Sumerian Inanna, the sender
of plagues,
—from Cleine, Mneside, Pothyne,
Myrtia, and all
Egyptian gavials
and rannels. .
.”
The crescendo was ritualistic, an arithmetic of
blasphemy and cruelty borne along on the inexorability of its own
logical laws made instantly incompatible with any changing,
revising, or rejecting opposition that might have been brought
forth to prosecute against it and wailed in the sensation of those
utterances that were always pitched antiphonally to the musical
deathcry as if to deny that evil, without this archabominational
chant, couldn’t either be recognized or understood.
“—from Mother Cresswell and her claps,
libera
nos, Domine
—from Canidia, the human dreep,
—from Anna Arkadyevna Karenina,
the woman of
dinge,
—from Maria Grubbe, sadist,
—from Levidulcia and her inclinations,
—from Arachne, originator of spinning,
—from Juoda Hercogiené,
the Lithuanian
bonce,
—from Emma Bridemann, elected vessel
of the
Mormons,
—from Poppeia, the sexual swill of Nero,
—from the Baroness de Nucingen,
die Alte
Hexe
,
—from Mathilde Mauté, vaticide,
—from Joan Trash, the lady of the
basket,
—from Elizabeth I, who died without
hair in
1603,
—from Miss Fudpucker the fecalist,
—from Eisheth Zenunim, the common
stale,
—from Ann Hathaway, the wappened
widow,
—from the 33 Wicked Daughters
of
Diocletian,
—from Aspasia and her four-doored
womb,
—from Thubui, the happy hierodule,
—from Nyctimene, who metamorphosed
into an owl,
—from Mother Uphill, underfonger and
venerilla,
—from Kriemhild and her
hollowpampered
hoors,
—from Linda Maestra, the hag of Goya,
—from Argive Helen, the deceitful
swawmx,
—from Queen Draga Maschin of Black
Head,
—from Xanthippe, the conjugal scold,
—from Biddy the Clap,
—from Deianire of Pyrite, the ravening
prickamouse,
-—from Marianne and her caprices,
—from Catherine Earnshaw, the
bouncing
ramp,
—from Kullikrahvinna,
the Estonian
pedicatress,
—from Dame Jinx and her catch-coin
justice,
—from Mylitta, the Babylonian
rumbelow,
—from Faustina the spermologress,
—from Aurelia Orestilla, the ginch
of Catiline,
—from Cina Grofica, the Serbocroatian
sunt,
—from Suzanne Valadon, the obstinate
minx,
—from Mère Folle, the cock-brained
fribble,
—from all Frows, Drabs, Ogresses,
Ralaratri, and
Ponderous
Nopsters. .
.”
The dirgeful hymn of the dead continued as Crucifer,
pausing again for breath, could now even ignore Darconville
suffering in his bed so intent was he upon the frenzy of names that
so hollowly echoed through the room. He only puffed out his cheeks,
humped his back, and hissed on:
“—from Joanna of Naples, the nonpareil
of bawds,
libera nos, Domine
—from Praxagoras, the angry bellows,
