Dare to Submit (9 page)

Until she realized exactly what she’d admitted to and shared with the man’s family. Strangers to her. Her cheeks flamed with embarrassed heat.

Gabe grinned, showing her the family smile and resemblance for the first time. “Glad to know you have it in you, little brother.”

Isabelle punched him lightly in the arm and shot Amanda a sympathetic smile. “They can be major pains in the ass.” She leaned in closer. “But it’s worth it in bed, isn’t it?”

Oh dear Lord. Amanda managed a nod, but her head was spinning with the implications of what they’d all just shared. Wasn’t that what friends did? Family? How had she become a part of all this so quickly?

“I think we should get back to Isabelle’s arrest,” Decklan said, his understanding gaze on Amanda’s face. He obviously picked up on her discomfort, and he didn’t look too thrilled with his brother himself. She appreciated how he’d turned the conversation away from the too-personal sharing of information.

“It all worked out okay,” Isabelle said. “Decklan brought me an apology gift.”

Amanda raised an eyebrow. “He did?”

“Tums,” the other woman said with a grin.

“Suck-up,” Gabe muttered with a roll of his eyes.

Obviously it was an inside joke, but it served to show her how close this family was, and unexpected warmth curled in her belly. So opposite of the dysfunction she’d grown up with. In her family, the differences of opinion weren’t fun or treated like jokes. Instead, barbs were thrown by her mother at every turn.

At that thought, her phone rang. “Excuse me,” she said, pulling her cell from her purse and glancing down. “God, it’s like she has ESP or something.” Amanda hit ignore on her mother’s call.

“Everything okay?” Decklan asked.

She nodded. “Just my mother. It can wait.”

He narrowed his gaze but said nothing.

“So, Isabelle, will you find out the sex of the baby?” Amanda asked, desperate to keep the focus off of herself.

Isabelle immediately reached for Gabe’s hand. “I think I want to know. That way I can plan the nursery and layette.” Her voice pitched in excitement.

And for the first time ever, a feeling of extreme longing overtook Amanda.

NINE

A
manda and Decklan didn’t talk about his family, but he seemed content after the breakfast. His brother and wife left, and they spent the rest of the rainy day watching movies on Netflix and just hanging out like a normal couple. Which scared her, because she enjoyed their time together so much, going home would be difficult this time.

He didn’t bring up the subject of her leaving, and neither did she. Instead, they ordered in dinner and enjoyed one another in bed. He cuffed her to the headboard, his dark blue gaze hot on hers, as he brought her to orgasm after orgasm before filling her body with his. Prior to Decklan, she’d been satisfied with meaningless encounters, but they connected on a deep, intimate level. One that’d grown stronger after she’d met and spent time with his family.

As the sunlight streamed through his bedroom window, Amanda studied his handsome face, memorizing each feature. She wished she had better answers to what she wanted. Needed. Instead, she had him for a little while longer.

She leaned close, about to brush a kiss over his lips and wake him up, when, without warning, he came awake with a yell, jerking into an upright position.

“Are you okay?” she asked, reaching for him. He withdrew, lying back down but not touching her.

“Yeah. I was dreaming.” He grew silent, obviously remembering.

“Can you talk about it?” Would he?

Decklan stared into the face of the woman who’d made him feel again. She waited patiently, her beautiful face watching him, staring at him, thoughtfully. Expectantly.

He didn’t owe her anything, least of all an explanation, yet he found himself starting to speak. “I was dreaming about the night my parents died.” He hadn’t had this dream in years. It had begun when he was nineteen and had suddenly found himself dealing with shocking and profound loss.

“They were killed driving home from Gabe’s college graduation. We’d all taken separate cars because I wanted to go out with my friends. Lucy wanted to ride in the front, so she came with me, and Gabe stayed at school to hang with his friends one last time.” Decklan swallowed, but his throat was dry.

The memory assaulting him hurt his chest, impacting his breathing. “If I hadn’t wanted to go out, we’d have been in the same car. An eighteen-wheeler barreled into them. They didn’t have a chance.”

“Oh God.” Amanda placed a hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t flinch, finding unexpected comfort in her touch. “Afterward, I felt so out of control. I’d have these horrible nightmares. That I was in the car and being suffocated by wreckage. I’d wake up thrashing and screaming.” Gabe used to shake him back to reality, and he’d be covered in sweat, breathing hard.

He blew out a harsh breath. “That’s what happened this morning. That dream.” He hung his head, not wanting to think about that suffocating feeling of losing everyone and everything. At least, that’s what it had felt like at the time and what he experienced over and over during each awful dream.

“Decklan?” Amanda asked, her sweet voice ripping something open inside him. He didn’t know how to handle this kind of emotional discussion or the turmoil beating at him.

“Would you rather be alone?” she asked into the silence surrounding them.

He reached out a hand and grasped her wrist. “No.” She’d be leaving this afternoon anyway. His heart sped up inside his chest at the thought of her gone. Though it would be a hell of a lot easier to let her leave, he couldn’t. He needed her.

Admitting that ripped apart something inside him. Before he could allow himself to think things through, he had her flat on her back, his naked and now fully aroused body coming down on top of her.

He met her gaze. Her lips parted, eyes glazed. She was with him. He gritted his teeth and thrust deep, her tight walls clenching around him. She raised her hands and grasped the headboard of her own volition. He pounded into her. She lifted her hips, meeting him with each thrust, taking him deeper.

He wasn’t going to last. Not when he felt the familiar tingle in the base of his spine, signaling he was close. But he wasn’t coming alone. He slid his hand between them and pinched her clit. She threw her head back and called out his name, her body convulsing, her orgasm a hell of a sight to see. Seconds later, he came hard, losing himself inside her warm, willing body, all thoughts of the past gone, for now.

Breathing hard, he rolled to his side and curled her into him. This felt good. Right.

“Decklan, just so you know, I’m on the pill.”

Her words slammed into him, shocking him to his core. “Shit. I didn’t even think.” He’d been too far gone emotionally. “I’m sorry. I swear I’m clean.”

“The club requires tests. I know.” Which explained why she was so much calmer than him.
She
was thinking clearly.

She touched his cheek. “It’s okay.”

But he broke into a sweat, knowing how stupidly irresponsible he’d been. For a man who prided himself on control, he’d certainly had none a few minutes ago.

He managed a nod. “Okay.”

They lay in silence, his heart beating hard, the nightmare and what he’d stupidly done torturing him.

“Hey.” She curled into him, and he pulled her back into his arms. “I’m here.”

He knew. And maybe that’s why he was able to fall back to sleep. Later, they woke up and, by silent agreement, took separate showers because they were starving and needed to go eat, not get distracted. Neither spoke of his nightmare, for which he was grateful.

While she was in the shower, he’d picked up her phone and programmed his number into it, then added her cell phone number to the contacts in his phone. Decklan was invested in her now, and he didn’t want to risk another month lapse once she returned to DC and he had too much time to think.

They’d returned to the same restaurant they’d eaten at with Isabelle and Gabe and ordered breakfast. While waiting for the food, she’d excused herself to use the ladies’ room. The waiter arrived with their dishes just as Amanda returned.

As she headed his way, he found himself unable to draw his gaze from the sexy sway of her hips. He had it bad and he knew it. Maybe it had been Gabe’s and Isabelle’s easy acceptance of Amanda, or maybe it had been how perfectly she’d meshed with them that had sealed the deal. But this was no longer casual for him. At all.

She picked up the chocolate croissant she’d ordered and took a bite, closing her eyes and groaning as she began to chew. “God, this is delicious.”

He grinned. “You’re cute.” He reached out and wiped a smudge of chocolate off her lower lip.

Her lashes fluttered and her eyes darkened at his touch. Then her tongue darted out, and she licked his finger with the tip.

Sparks flew directly to his groin. “You’re playing with fire, you know. We’re in public. And you have more issues with public displays than I do.”

She cleared her throat. “I was just acting on impulse.” She raised her shoulder in a tiny shrug.

He groaned and shifted in his seat, his jeans now uncomfortably tight. “I like when you’re impulsive.” He paused, then added, “I like you.”

A pink flush stained her cheeks and she looked away.

Okay, so she wasn’t ready. A hard pang hit him in the chest. He’d just have to lead her there. He had no doubt he could do it. Their chemistry and interaction was special.

“So tell me about your life in Washington,” he said, changing the subject.

She relaxed, her shoulders easing down as she leaned in, chin propped on her hand. And she proceeded to regale him with stories about living in Washington, D.C., and about her friends at home, in particular, her best friend with whom she worked.

Decklan was grateful to finally be let in and listened intently.

“I’m his personal assistant, girl Friday, whatever you want to call it. When he gets lost in computer code, someone has to make sure he lifts his head long enough to eat, take a break, or even leave for the night.” She shook her head and smiled fondly. “He’s always been like the absentminded professor.”

Decklan’s gut tightened at the warmth in her voice. “He’s just your boss?” He needed to hear her reassure him.

She raised her gaze, obviously startled by his question. “We go way back, actually. We met in college.”

“And he’s never made a play?” Because a guy would have to be dead not to look at Amanda and want her.

She burst out laughing, then sobered when she obviously realized he wasn’t joining in.

She wrinkled her nose at him, her perceptive gaze narrowing. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think your jealous streak was showing.”

“What makes you think it isn’t?” he asked, suddenly feeling extremely possessive where she was concerned.

Her eyes opened wide. “You can’t—We can’t—”

“We can.” He couldn’t hold back. Refused to. “This”—he gestured between them—“doesn’t happen every day. Believe me, I know.” He’d never felt a connection with a woman before in his life, never mind the intensity of the feelings she’d brought out in him in such a short time.

He wasn’t about to let her slip through his fingers because she was afraid. If he could fight his fears, she could damn well do the same. And he’d be there to help her.

She picked up her coffee and took a sip, her hands shaking badly.

“It might have happened fast, but can you tell me you don’t feel the same way?” he asked, knowing he was pushing, probably too hard, but he didn’t care.

She slammed the ceramic cup down, and it wobbled in the saucer. “I can’t. It’s complicated and I really need to go.” She scrambled for her small purse and rose, heading for the door.

“Dammit.” He tossed money on the table and rushed out after her.

He caught up with her at the corner just as she’d pulled out her cell phone and had begun to dial.

He grabbed her arm. “What’s going on?”

She spun to face him, eyes wide and panicked. “This was supposed to be easy and fun. No strings. Now I’m meeting family and you’re talking about more than a good time.”

“Things changed,” he bit out, letting his frustration get the better of him. “Unless I’m mistaken?”

While waiting for her answer, he fought the fear of loss that normally held him captive. One part of him argued that he’d opened his soul to her and she was rejecting him, leaving him alone, and the cold freeze he usually lived in tried to wrap itself around his heart.

Her shoulders slumped and she shook her head. “No, you’re not mistaken,” she whispered. “I feel the same way. I just… I need to think. I need time.”

He released the breath he’d been unaware of holding. He didn’t ask how much time. He’d give her some leeway, as difficult as it would be. Especially since their time apart really was apart, as in two different cities. But he intended to find out what had her freaked. And find a way around any problem.

TEN