Dare to Touch (16 page)

“Am I interrupting something?” Olivia asked in a cool voice, her gaze steady on Meg.

“It’s not—” Dylan began.

“What it looks like,” Olivia said, finishing his lame sentence. “I know. Or at least I hope I do.”

“Oh God.” Meg stepped up to her. “I know how it must look, but I was just telling Dylan I’m pregnant, and he was congratulating me. That’s all.”

“Pregnant?” Olivia asked, her shock as obvious as Dylan’s had been.

“Yep. By my ex.” Meg braced her hands on her still-flat stomach.

“Umm, congratulations?” Olivia said uncertainly.

“Thank you.” Meg smiled at her. “Look, I know we just met—”

“You met?” Dylan asked, surprised.

“In the kitchen, when I walked in,” Meg explained. “Callie introduced us.”

Dylan raised an eyebrow. “You knew I was here with Olivia, and you asked me for a hug anyway? Come on, Meg. That’s just all kinds of wrong.”

She stepped back, stunned. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think—”

“And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about, but you told me about the pregnancy first, and I didn’t get a chance. You do need to think more. About the kind of guys you get involved with and about me, in general.”

Olivia grasped his arm. “Dylan, not now, okay?”

He glanced at Meg, who looked sad and small after his outburst. “I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want to be pulled between the two of you. And I don’t want to have to make a choice, but if I do—”

“Dylan!” Olivia tugged harder. “It’s okay. We both get it now.”

He looked from Olivia to Meg, who nodded. “She’s right. We do. I need to stand on my own two feet and stop treating you like my boyfriend who’s at my beck and call,” she said in a low voice. “I just got used to you not being in a relationship at all.” She met Olivia’s gaze. “I’m sorry.”

To Olivia’s credit, she smiled warmly at Meg. “Thank you. I’m sorry too.”

“Why?” Meg asked.

“Because I’ve been a bitch about you to Dylan, and that put him in an awkward situation.”

Meg blinked at the admission.

He managed a half laugh, half cough. He wasn’t used to having such rational, reasonable women surrounding him, he thought wryly. Not that he hadn’t understood where Olivia was coming from, because he had. But this détente was much simpler.

“Well, now that that’s settled…” he said.

“I’m going to get a glass of orange juice,” Meg muttered. Obviously embarrassed, she started to walk away.

“Meg?”

The other woman turned.

“I look forward to getting to know you better,” Olivia said, surprising the hell out of Dylan.

And if Meg’s expression was anything to go by, she was shocked too. “I’d like that.”

Meg turned and walked away, and Dylan breathed out a relieved stream of air.

He turned to Olivia. “You’re incredible,” he said, slipping his arms around her waist.

“Thank you. But I’m reserving judgment on everything.”

“What does that mean?” he asked.

“I hated what I saw.” She wrinkled her nose. “I mean, I
hated
seeing you two alone in a corner, Meg’s arms wrapped around you like you were hers.”

He knew better than to crack a jealousy joke or even mention how relieved he was to know she cared enough to
be
jealous.

“If you hadn’t read her the riot act, I’m not sure I’d have been able to be civil to either one of you, no matter what I promised myself I’d do or say.”

He slipped his hand around her ass, making sure her back faced away from the party and toward the woods behind the house. Then he pulled her into him, letting her feel how much he wanted her. “This is for you. Got that? And only you.”

Her stiffness melted out of her, her body softening against his. “I know that. And hearing you stand up for us? That meant the world.” Her voice cracked, and right then she stole another piece of his heart.

“You do realize Meg is going to need you even more now, right?” Olivia asked.

He shook his head. “She’s an adult, and she will have to learn to stand on her own two feet and make the right decisions. Especially now. I’m her friend, but I’m not her husband, boyfriend, or anything like it. I’m yours.”

“Okay then.” Olivia smiled.

He nodded. “Okay then.” He hoped Olivia meant what she said and everything between them was fine.

*     *     *

The party wound down, Ava opened her overly expensive American Girl doll that she loved, and soon Olivia and Dylan said good-bye to everyone and left his sister’s house. Meg had gone home awhile before, claiming she wasn’t feeling well. Olivia didn’t want her sick, but she also didn’t want her embarrassed or upset. She just wanted peace, and she hoped she would eventually get along with Dylan’s ex. He didn’t mention Meg, and Olivia was smart enough to let the situation go.

Instead, she wanted to go home with her man. Her man. That was what Dylan was, at least for now. She didn’t know what the future held, but she did know she’d have to tell him everything about her past. She couldn’t tell herself she loved him and hold the most vulnerable parts of herself back. Even if the words had never been said between them, even if she wasn’t sure just how deep he was really in … after all, he’d said a lot of words, none of them
the
word, but she owed him the truth.

They arrived back at his place, a luxury apartment a block away from the ocean. “I’ve never been here before,” she said, glancing around.

“I know. And as soon as I’m finished with you, I’ll give you a tour. Not that there’s much to see.” He grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her close. “Except in the bedroom. There’s plenty to see in there.” He picked her up and swung her into his arms.

“Dylan!” She laughed at his impulsive move. She ran her hand up and down his cheek. “I need to talk to you,” she said.

He groaned. “Before or after?” He did her favorite move, nuzzling her neck, making it perfectly clear what he would prefer to do now.

“Now,” she said, despite the fact that her entire body was humming with sexual need.

He tipped his head against hers and groaned. “Okay. But not in the bedroom. I won’t be able to concentrate if I have you on my bed.” He turned and walked back to the den and deposited her on the sofa, coming down beside her.

He clasped his hand around hers, as if sensing she needed strength for whatever it was she had to tell him.

“Remember I told you that my college boyfriend cheated on me?”

He nodded. “If this is about Meg—”

“It isn’t,” she rushed to assure him. “It’s about me, but to tell you all of it, I need to start at the beginning.”

“Okay then. I’m listening.”

She blew out a long breath. “Okay, well, I guess it all starts at home. Because when I look back at that relationship, I should have known he wasn’t fully engaged. All the signs were there, but I chose to ignore them because it was easier than facing it. And where did I learn that from?” She met Dylan’s understanding gaze before continuing. “My mother made the avoidance of truth an art form.”

“Your father and his other family.” Dylan stated the obvious. “You think she knew?”

Olivia shrugged. “I didn’t realize it then, but I was a kid. My mom? She had to have at least sensed that those long, extended business trips were something more. He missed holidays, birthdays,
their anniversary
…” She shook her head. “Don’t get me wrong. She was… She
is
a great mother, but she had to have known my father wasn’t faithful.”

Dylan stroked her cheek. “I’m sure you’re right. And I see how that affected you. On many levels.”

“Well, it’s learned behavior, that’s for sure. So I ignored so much of what Jeff did; I accepted his excuses because I’d watched my mother do the same. It never dawned on me to question. Not then, anyway.” She gnawed on her lower lip.

Maybe on some level, she’d deliberately picked out a guy like her father, one who was full of himself and his own needs.

“That’s a huge revelation for you,” Dylan said. “But you have to know I would never cheat—”

“I know.” She placed her finger over his lips. If she didn’t get everything out now, she didn’t know if she’d find the courage again.

He playfully licked, then nipped at her finger, and she moaned softly. “Later,” she murmured, despite the wetness now dampening her underwear.

He grinned and nodded. “I’ll behave.”

“Just for a little while. Then you can be as bad as you want.” She swallowed hard, hoping he’d still want to be bad when he heard not only about her past but about how it made her feel now.

“Okay, let’s do this. What else do you need to tell me?” he asked.

“I walked in on them together, which is how I found out.”

“I remember you telling me that,” he said with anger in his dark eyes.

Anger for her, and it filled her with emotions she’d never experienced before. Warmth and happiness all rolled into one package.

Now she just had to get through what came next.

*     *     *

Dylan waited, outwardly patient, inwardly not so much, for Olivia to talk to him. Whatever she had to say, she believed it would change the course of their relationship. And it had him on edge.

“There was a reason I went to find him that day.” Her hand curled tighter around his. “I was pregnant, and I had to let him know.”

“Jesus.” She’d been so young.

“And you already know what I found him doing.”

“Another woman,” he said with disgust, wanting her to feel his support.

“His teaching assistant. Best friend. The same woman who he always had to reassure me that there was nothing going on between them.”

Dylan swore. No wonder she had such a visceral reaction to his relationship with Meg.

“I caught them in the act and ran out. But later, when I did tell him about the baby, he blamed me. As if I’d gotten myself pregnant.” Tears dripped from her eyes, and she angrily wiped them away.

“Want my shirt?” He lifted the bottom of his tee for her.

She shook her head and smiled. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

He grabbed hold of her other hand too. “What happened to the baby?” he asked softly.

A huge shudder went through her small frame. “For you to understand, you need to get where my head was at.”

“I’m here. I’m listening. For as long as it takes.”

“I didn’t tell anyone at school, but when I went home on vacation, I told my mother, and she promised to be there, whatever I decided.”

“She sounds great.”

“She was. She still is. She was willing to discuss all options. I wasn’t sure what I wanted at first, but I knew I had a limited window to decide. I was petrified. If I kept the baby, I’d have to drop out of school, and who knew if I’d ever be able to go back. I’d be a single mother with no viable career…”

Dylan couldn’t imagine what it must have been like for her back then. “You were so strong,” he said.

“I didn’t feel strong. I was so scared, but even then I couldn’t bring myself to think about having an abortion, and before I knew it, I had gotten through the first trimester of the pregnancy. And then I started to feel the baby kick.” Her eyes lit up at the memory. “And then I started to consider what having a baby would mean. A little life dependent on me. Someone to take care of, who would love me.”

Understanding went off in Dylan’s head. There lay the crux of the story. He knew Olivia well enough to understand that her issues stemmed from the fact that her father, the first man in her life, had essentially abandoned her. A father was supposed to love his child unconditionally. Instead, Robert Dare had put another family, other children, above his first wife and kids, above Olivia. Then the father of her baby had done the same thing at a time when she’d barely been an adult herself.

“What happened?” he asked.

She drew a shuddering breath. “No sooner had I made peace with the decision than it was over. I woke up one night, and there was blood everywhere.” She shrugged, her voice cracking. “I miscarried. And that little person who was supposed to be mine to love was gone. I didn’t realize how much I wanted the baby until that blood was everywhere.”

A shudder went through Olivia, followed by tears and small gulps as she struggled to pull herself together. All Dylan could do was hold her tight and be there until she finally wiped her eyes and sat up straighter, meeting his gaze.

“I’m so sorry, honey.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad you shared that with me.”

She forced a smile, and he could tell it was forced. “The thing is, losing the baby scarred me. It defined me. And I really don’t know if I can let myself feel that kind of pain ever again.”

“What are you saying?”

“I was depressed for so long afterwards and … I’m not sure I ever want to get pregnant again.”

Dylan’s head buzzed at her words. The emotional part of him, the part that had always expected to have a family one day, rebelled against every word she was saying. He’d grown up without a father or mother to speak of, and he wanted the life he’d been denied. Hell, he wanted it with Olivia.

“I saw you with Ava today, and I’m sure you want kids someday. I thought you should know where my head is before this thing between us goes any further,” she said, her voice thick as she stared at him, hands folded in her lap, eyes wide and expectant as she waited.

Waited for him to walk away. Because she’d never had a man stick by her before, he realized with shocking clarity. Thanks to her past, she didn’t trust that she was important, that she was enough to keep any man in her life.

But she was. For him, she was everything.

The reality sucker-punched him, but thank God he realized it in time. Of course, it was a risk to stay, to continue to invest himself when she clearly believed what she was saying. That was why she’d insulated herself from relationships for so long and why she’d fought against
them
every step of the way.

And this? This was just another means of pushing him away before he left her in the end. That was how she thought. What she believed. Which meant it was up to him to prove her wrong.

He turned toward her, clasping both of her hands in his. “Okay,” he said at last, speaking into the heavy silence.