Dark and Deadly: Eight Bad Boys of Paranormal Romance (42 page)

“Why do you deny your incubus nature?” she said, tense from head to toe and afraid he might turn on her now.

He didn’t.

“I used to enjoy and indulge that part of me but I grew weary of it.” He braced his hands against the tiles and hung his head forwards. The jet sprayed against his back, showering her in fine mist. She settled her hands on his back to reassure and comfort him. The markings had remained the same colour as before but she watched them, monitoring them for a change. “I no longer gain excitement from seducing women or using my powers. It feels as though women only desire me because of the out of control incubus part.”

Elissa felt sorry for him. “It must have been difficult for you to live in a world of vampires when you have fae blood in your veins.”

Payne tensed and his markings shifted to reveal patches of black and red. She knew that one. She slipped her arms around his chest and pulled him away from the wall, coaxing him into standing again. She grabbed the shampoo, squeezed a dollop onto her hand and tiptoed to work it into his messy dirty blond hair.

“You don’t have to talk about it.” She massaged his scalp with her fingers and he lowered himself so she could reach him more easily. She smiled at that. It seemed he enjoyed being fussed like this.

“I almost left the vampire world once.”

Elissa frowned at that. “Why? You seem to prefer your vampire side to your incubus one.”

She worked lower, scrubbing the shorter hair at the back of his head.

“I had a mate once.”

She froze and stared at the back of his head, her fingers paused against his scalp. Oh. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. This was just a one night deal. Wasn’t it?

Did she want more from Payne than one night?

“Why did you stop?” he said and when she didn’t answer, he turned to face her, rising to his full height. His eyebrows knit together, causing his dark grey eyes to narrow, and he looked as though he wanted to smooth his palm across her cheek to reassure her. He ducked his head under the water instead. “I had a mate once but it only lasted a brief time. She was beautiful and I loved her... but she didn’t like my vampire nature.”

“She didn’t love all of you?” She couldn’t contain that one.

What sort of woman would love only part of Payne?

He ran his hands over his hair, slicking it back and shook his head. “She was fae and you know what they can be like.”

“She thought you were tainted by darkness because you were a vampire.” Elissa knew all about fae and their stupid rules. They were worse than witches. Fae had a rule about everything, especially vampires. They hated them more than witches did. At least witches had a reason to find vampires dark and objectionable.

As far as Elissa knew, vampires had never tried to exterminate any of the fae species.

“She wanted me to turn my back on that part of myself and my family... and she almost convinced me to go along with it, but I don’t feel I belong in the fae world. I’m closer to my vampire roots than my fae ones, despite all the shit that has happened to me.”

“What happened?”

He sighed and leaned his shoulders back against the tiles. “I asked her to love me as I was, a vampire first and foremost.”

Elissa knew from the pain surfacing in his eyes that it hadn’t ended there and it hadn’t ended well.

Payne closed his eyes and his markings shifted again, turning shades of black, purple and blue. Was that hurt?

“What did she do to you, Payne?” Elissa laid her hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes and looked down into hers. Red edged his irises but he still looked lost and wounded.

“She knew my real name.”

“Mother earth! She didn’t?” Elissa couldn’t contain her shock. Her heart went out to him and she had her arms wrapped around his neck before she could even think about what she was doing. He surprised her by looping his around her waist and crushing her against his body. He was trembling.

He turned his head and settled his cheek on her shoulder. His voice dropped to a low, hoarse, wounded whisper that conveyed the terrible depth of the pain in his heart. “I hated her... I hate her.”

He growled and Elissa tightened her grip on him with one arm and stroked his back with her other hand, hoping to soothe him. His fingers pressed hard into her lower back, clutching her to him so desperately that she wanted to cry for his sake, because she knew that he was crying inside, wounded beyond repair by the woman he had loved.

She had tried to use his name to enslave him.

Mother earth, no wonder he had been so reluctant to submit to her tonight.

No wonder he was so messed up about his dual nature.

She lowered her head and kissed his strong shoulder, pouring her heart into each press of her lips, wishing they would take away some of his pain and his suffering.

If she had known what that bitch had done to him, she never would have asked him to submit to her. She would have done things differently.

Elissa held him, feeling him shaking in her arms. How could someone who had claimed to love him do something so terrible to him? The woman must have known that Payne was at war with himself, unable to accept his fae blood for some reason. Yet she had tried to make him reject his vampire side, the one part of himself he was comfortable with.

What his mate had done to him was abominable and inexcusable, but Elissa knew it wasn’t the reason he felt he brought only pain to this world. Had something even more terrible happened to him in his past?

“You’re getting cold,” she whispered against his damp shoulder and turned off the water. “Can I ask you something and will you answer honestly?”

He drew back enough to rub his face but not enough that she could see what he was doing. Had she made him cry by bringing up his past? The thought that she might have made her feel abysmal. He cleared his throat and stood, no trace of tears in his eyes.

“Go ahead,” he said, sounding composed and emotionless. His markings were dull grey again. She was beginning to get the impression he could school them as easily as he schooled his features.

“Why did you agree to do this with me?” She had never felt so nervous about posing a question. She stood before him, naked and shivering, afraid that he would tell her he had done it to further his connection to his inner incubus so he could get the ring.

He smiled and her heart missed a beat. “Because I wanted you. Simple as that. You’re beautiful.”

Those words warmed her but couldn’t fully chase away the chill gradually stealing into her soul. She smiled and took his hand, and led him from the shower.

“Why did you want to do this with me?” he said and she looked over her shoulder at him, and then raked her gaze over his gorgeous body. Did he really need to ask?

She smiled properly.

“Because I wanted to get into your pants.”

He grinned and gave her a look that said he had known her reason all along.

She tossed a towel at him and dried herself off. When she was done and he had finished too, she took hold of his hand again, her nerves returning. This was probably going to be one step too far but she was chilly from the shower and sharing body heat sounded like a really great idea to her.

She led Payne to the bed and drew the dark covers back. Payne smacked her backside and she gasped.

“I get the right side.”

She frowned at him. He was calling a side of the bed? Someone had certainly made himself comfortable in her home. She realised that the right side of the bed meant he would have to walk around it. She could go along with that.

He set off and Elissa stood there, barely resisting her need to sigh as she watched his cute behind as he walked. The man did have the body of a god. A sex god. Purr.

He hopped onto the bed, reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her down onto it with him. He threw the covers over them both and kissed her breathless.

“You think this will work?” he said and lay back, dragging her with him.

Elissa settled into his side, her head on his chest and his right arm around her. She hooked her right leg over both of his and placed her hand on his chest. His heart was thumping. She smiled. She had enjoyed that kiss too. It had felt different to the passionate ones they had shared in the heat of the moment.

“We’ll find out soon enough.” She closed her eyes and listened to his steady heart. Strong. Powerful. Just like the rest of him.

That kiss had felt too good.

Elissa focused on Payne. Being held like this by him felt too good too.

She wasn’t sure what she was going to do now.

This had started out as a game, a way of satisfying her curiosity about him, but she could see now that she was attracted to him, and that was a dangerous thing.

She’d had her one night with him.

Her head said to explain to him about Luca in the morning and let him go alone to retrieve the boy and the ring from Arnaud.

Her heart said to go with him and relish every second that she had with him, no matter how dangerous it was to allow herself to fall for him.

Elissa looked up at him, watching him sleeping, his face soft and relaxed. Beautiful.

She was already in too deep to walk away.

She wanted to be with Payne.

Even if it meant dancing with danger.

Even if it meant risking ruin and death.

Payne woke alone with the fall of darkness, deeply sated and a little sore. He stretched out beneath the blue satin sheets and settled his hands behind his head, unable to remember the last time he had woken feeling so relaxed or the last time he had slept through the day like the dead. Normally he woke several times in the daylight hours. He hadn’t stirred once while Elissa had been tucked against his side, warming him with her soft body, her palm resting on the centre of his chest and her breath skating over his skin. He had fallen asleep to the sound of her steady heartbeat, counting each one, thinking about everything they had done and the things he had confessed. What did she think of him now?

There had been sympathy in her silvery eyes, and she had held him so close to her, tighter than anyone had held him in his long weary life. The feel of her arms around him, and the warm emotions flowing through her, had stripped away his strength and left him shaking right down to his bones. He had wanted to stay there with her in that shower, resting on her shoulder, letting her compassion wash over him and carry away the pain. He had wanted to forget it all in her arms, hoping to find a way to reinvent himself as something better, something she would look at with affection rather than pity.

The sound of a page flipping came from the other room. Elissa. Leafing through her books. When had she risen?

Had she kissed him while he slept before leaving him alone?

He shook his head at that question. Dangerous thoughts. She had gotten under his skin too quickly and he knew better than to believe there was a happy ending in the cards for them.

Look how well it had turned out the last time he had thought he had found his true mate.

Payne sighed and shook those dark thoughts away as well as the lighter thoughts of Elissa that were just as deadly and just as likely to cause him pain, focusing on his inner incubus instead. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to feel it, not like this. He had never intentionally called it to the fore for no reason other than to feel it within him.

Part of him.

It was quick to come out of hiding, dominating his vampire nature and subduing it. His thoughts drifted to Elissa and the things they had done, and the things he wanted to do with her. He wanted to be in control this time. He wanted to finish inside her, claiming her body as his. He would make her scream his name as she climaxed and would feed on the intense pleasure that flowed through her in the wake of it.

It was too much.

His cock tented the blue material covering his body and he groaned.

Payne denied the urge to stroke himself and drew his hands out from behind his head. He raised his arms in front of him and stared at the fae markings. They swirled in shades of gold and blue. His incubus nature was in control now and he didn’t feel as he normally did when it happened. Rather than anger and disgust, he felt calm and still in command. The shifting colours mesmerised him and he lost himself in them, his vision blurring.

A weird sensation grew in the pit of his chest. A hot tingling that brought a strange notion with it.

It was as intangible as smoke but he felt it.

He knew where to go.

Payne teleported out of the bed and into the room with Elissa.

A woman passing by on the dimly lit street outside the window gasped. Payne cupped himself. She hurried away.

“Are you insane?” Elissa rose from the chair and hurried to the window. She tugged the dark curtains closed. Payne felt like mentioning she was the one who had opened the curtains even though he was sleeping nude in the next room.

He grabbed his underwear and slipped it on, quickly following it with his dark blue jeans. A flicker of disappointment lit Elissa’s eyes when he donned his dark grey shirt. Had she been expecting an encore? That had him stiff in his jeans. Later.

“It’s time to go.” He began buttoning his shirt and Elissa’s gaze dropped to his torso.

“It worked?” Her cheeks heated. Damn, he wanted her when she looked so innocent. It was hard to deny the urge to take her first and then head out, but he needed to do this before he lost his nerve.

He nodded.

Elissa packed some things into a black leather satchel, and then rushed past him into the bedroom. She shed her dark red robe, revealing lush bare curves. Payne couldn’t stop himself then.

He teleported right behind her and stepped into her. He swept his hands over her hips and drew her backside against his crotch. She stilled in his arms, her breathing rapid and heart racing. He lowered his head and pressed kisses along the subtle curve of her shoulder. Her breathing hitched when he gathered the waves of her chestnut hair and swept it over her other shoulder, away from her throat.

Payne licked her neck, his fangs lengthening.