Dark Awakening (20 page)

She shook her head. “I don’t believe in fate, Ty. I’ve made my own. And so have you, right? You aren’t supposed to even be looking at a queen, much less be so valued by one. You made that happen. Not some weird blood destiny.”

He gave a humorless little chuckle, and she hated the bleakness in his eyes. It was the look of a man worn down over many years, to the point where he had no hope left. What came after that, in another hundred years? Maybe it
would be the coldness she’d seen in Damien, the complete lack of feeling.

But Ty was different. And so utterly alone.

“Who protects you?” she asked suddenly, and saw his surprise.

“I’m going to try not to be insulted you asked me that. I can take care of myself.”

Lily sighed and tried again. “What I mean is, you seem to carry plenty of responsibility. You’ve been entrusted with me, which I know is more than you bargained for. But who stands for you, Ty? Would the Ptolemy jump in if you needed it? Who has your back?”

“I…” He trailed off, and she could see he was uncertain about how to answer.

For her, that was the answer. She wanted to tell him that she understood, that she knew what it was like to go through life with no one but yourself to rely on. What she didn’t understand was how he could tolerate being little more than a slave, no matter what he called it. Ty said this queen had saved him. What on earth had she saved him from that was worse?

Blood and destiny. It was nothing short of appalling to her that such a little thing as a mark could determine everything. She rubbed at hers, feeling it tingle and burn with its slow, undeniable heat as she thought of the dream, of her strange moment of connection with Anura. Lily wondered if she had any choice in anything at all, if she ever had. But no… she refused to believe she was powerless.

Ty looked lost, in this moment, here in the dark. It had been a long couple of nights, and she was certain he’d had more before that. Her world had been utterly upended. But it seemed like his had been, too, in his absence from
the center of his dynasty’s power. It made her feel for him, and she was too emotionally exhausted to fight it off.

It might not be the usual sort of thrall, Lily thought, but when she was in his presence, Ty never stopped calling to her.

Knowing she would regret it later, she gave in.

L
ILY REACHED OUT
to stroke Ty’s face, marveling at the coolness of his skin, the rough feel of stubble along his jaw. Ty closed his eyes and turned his face into her touch, though his expression was one caught between pleasure and pain.

“You shouldn’t,” he murmured.

Don’t I know it
, she thought. But she continued her gentle exploration of him, threading her fingers through his hair. It was soft, silken, as she stroked it, and she lifted her other hand to do the same. He tipped his head back slightly, giving in, just a little. A soft thrumming sound reached her ears, and it took her a moment to place it. When she did, she chuckled softly, and his eyes opened to look at her warily. Even now, she realized, his first thought was that she would mock him somehow. He didn’t trust her… didn’t trust anyone, she imagined. It made her want to change that, though it would serve no purpose.

Maybe it was because she understood so completely what it was to be alone.

“You’re purring,” she said with a smile. He tried to pull back then, but she tightened her hold in his hair to stop him. The power of it slithered through her, dark and sensual. She had never had a man at her mercy, had never grasped control. But something within whispered that she could, if she were brave enough to take it.

“I’ve never made a man purr,” she said. “I like it.”

He didn’t try to pull farther away, but he didn’t lean in closer, either, instead letting her resume stroking his hair, his face. His eyes slipped shut again as the purring resumed, and Lily figured out then that it was a reaction he didn’t have much control over. And it was, hands down, the sexiest noise she’d ever heard a man make.

“We shouldn’t do this,” he rasped.

“Didn’t stop
you
before,” Lily said, rubbing her thumb across the mouth she’d grown so fixated on. The skin there was soft, making her remember how it had felt pressed against her own lips. She sucked in a surprised breath when Ty’s lips parted and he took the thumb into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it, sucking it lightly. And the entire time, he watched her. Lily had no doubt he could see her flush, even in the dark, could hear her breath catch each time she inhaled. Her lower belly clenched into a hot and pleasurable little knot that sent little shock waves of sensation through her entire body.

Ty gave her fingertip a soft kiss. “Be careful what you invite, Lily. It’s late, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t want to take a bite out of you tonight.”

She felt like someone else, someone far more confident than she had ever been, and could hardly believe what she heard herself saying.

“What if I don’t want you to pretend?”

The light in his eyes sparked, and Lily found that she didn’t fear it, this side of him. Maybe she should have, but she knew instinctively that Ty would never intentionally hurt her. It just wasn’t his way. She had no doubt he’d done things that would make her blood run cold. But there was, buried in the vampire, still a man. Still a heart. Lily could see both, even if no one else seemed to.

Even if no one else wanted to.

“You don’t understand,” he said. “When I saw that bloody big Dracul with his hands all over you tonight, it was all I could do not to take his head, Lily. It’s not normal, the way I want you.”

“Ooh,” she murmured with a smile, stroking his hair back from his face. “Deviance. Tell me more.”

But he grasped her hands and pulled them away, squeezing her wrists tightly as he held them still. His expression was deadly serious, though there was no mistaking the terrible yearning in his eyes.

“It’s not normal, Lily. I barely managed to keep my teeth out of you the last time, and that would be the end of everything. But your blood, your scent… I can’t think straight. You have no idea what I want to do to you. What I’ve wanted to do since that first night at the mansion.”

She met his gaze steadily, and with no fear. “I’m assuming it’s the same thing I want to do to you. You’re not the only one who feels that pull, Ty. I don’t know what it is, either, but I’m no vampire, and I still find myself thinking about sinking my teeth into you.”

He made a soft, strangled sound that was almost a groan. “I have nothing to offer you, Lily. I’ve got chains on me that you couldn’t possibly understand, and no matter what happens, I have to return to Arsinöe.”

“Is that what you want?”

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” he said. “It never has.”

She looked at him for a long moment, knowing that he was right, that he was being truthful. It would be pointless, change nothing. And yet, all her life, she’d been pushing things away. For once, she wanted to take something she wanted, in the moment she wanted it, without having to ruin it with endless consideration. Maybe it was better that it couldn’t last. Then she would have no illusions.

“It matters to me,” she replied.

He said nothing. But he slowly released his grip on her wrists.

“I don’t know if I can keep it under control,” he said, and there was a raw vulnerability in his tone that she had never heard before. He had so many defenses. It felt good to have managed to get through at least a few of them.

“You can,” she said. “I’ve never met anyone as strong as you.”

His laugh was bitter. “You must not have met very many people, then.”

She decided that further talking was useless. It wasn’t what either of them wanted anyway. As they had sat like this, touching, so close to each other, the tension in the air had thickened to the point where it could have been sliced with a knife. Whatever existed between them wove its dark spell around them once again, blocking out the rest of the world until there was nothing but the two of them.

Lily shifted, rising up on her knees and gently pushing Ty back so that he was fully seated on the couch beside her. He watched her with naked hunger but did as she bid him. Maybe he was still afraid to touch her, she thought. Or maybe he simply wanted to see what she would do.
Either way, it came to the same. And this was how she needed it, at least at first. Before, he had been in full control, and she’d wound up angry and confused. This time, she wanted to be the one to lead, to take.

To give.

She slid over him with a liquid grace that she hadn’t known she even possessed, straddling him so that they were face-to-face. Immediately, she knew he was as affected as she: He was nestled, rock hard, against the apex of her thighs. It made her feel empowered, bold.

Never taking her eyes from him, Lily arched and pulled her shirt over her head, exposing creamy flesh and her simple black silk bra.

Simple it may have been, but the effect it had on Ty was anything but.

His hands were skimming up her torso as she discarded the shirt behind her. She leaned back slightly, moaning softly as he filled his hands with her. She heard his breath leave him on a single, shuddering exhalation.

“Be sure,
mo bhilis
,” was all he said. “Be sure.”

For once in her life, she was completely certain.

Without a word, she grabbed Ty’s T-shirt and pulled it over his head. He didn’t object, helped her, in fact. Then his hands were on her again, roaming hungrily over exposed flesh. Ty pulled her hard against him, and Lily ran her hands into all his soft, dark hair before dragging his mouth to hers.

They melded together, mouth to mouth, body to body, fitting together as though each had been the missing piece of the other. She moaned low in her throat as their lips met, as Ty took her mouth hungrily, completely, plundering her with his tongue. She could sense a need in him
that was just shy of desperation; it shocked her to realize it matched her own.

Lily gasped when he moved, rising suddenly with his hands gripping her backside to keep her in place. She wrapped her legs around his waist and nibbled at his ear.

“Bed,” Ty said hoarsely, moving with preternatural speed toward the stairs. “I want to be on you… in you…”

A sudden worry occurred to her. “Isn’t the bed Jaden’s?”

The expletive-laden reply about what Jaden could do with himself if it bothered him made her laugh, though the laugh turned to a moan as he lay her down on the vast expanse of bed that occupied the loft. Ty covered her with himself, and the feel of his bare chest against her, of the weight of him pressing down on her, was pure pleasure.

He made short work of her bra, neatly unclipping it and tossing it on the floor. In between hot, increasingly demanding kisses, they managed to remove every article of clothing that remained on them and threw them to join the bra. Then it was Lily who found herself making a sound that was awfully feline as Ty slid against her again, this time nothing between them but heated flesh, skin against skin.

He felt… incredible. Her thoughts scattered and refused to reorganize into anything that made sense as Ty stretched above her, against her. The thick, hard length of him pressed against her thigh as he moved with her, and Lily reached between them to wrap her hand around it. Ty stilled, eyes closing. He looked caught somewhere between pain and pleasure.

“Lily,” he said, softly exhaling her name. “That feels… ah…”

She stroked him, and he seemed to lose whatever he’d wanted to say. His reaction was quite enough for Lily. His
head dropped forward, and he groaned, a low, sexy sound that had lust tying her in knots. He allowed her to continue for only a few moments, however, before his hand stilled her exploration of the velvety-soft skin of his shaft.

“I’m not going to last if you keep that up, sweet. And I want to make this good for both of us.”

She smiled. “Feels pretty good to me already.”

He returned her smile with a wicked grin that set her heart pumping even faster.

“It gets better. I’ve wanted to taste you since the moment I saw you,” he said. “Think I’ll find out if you really do taste as good as you smell.”

He silenced her flustered reply, born of a sudden attack of self-consciousness, with another delicious kiss. But his lips strayed quickly, trailing down her jaw, down the sensitive skin of her neck. Lily’s eyes dropped shut, her head arched back to give him better access. Then he drifted lower still, swirling his tongue over her flushed skin and then fastening on one tightly budded nipple with a suddenness that made Lily give a sharp little cry.

“Ty,” she murmured, tangling her fingers in his hair as he began to suckle her in long, languid pulls that she felt at her very core. Her hips moved restlessly against him, seemingly of their own accord, as something within began to wind tighter and tighter, sending off white-hot sparks of excruciating pleasure every time his teeth grazed her tender flesh.

He gave equal attention to each breast, until Lily thought she might just lose her mind over the sweet torment. And then, as she knew he’d intended, that wickedly talented mouth moved lower still. Hot kisses made her belly jump, made her quiver.