Authors: Stuart MacBride
Logan dumped the complaint on the desk. ‘Yeah, so I can hold his bloody hand when we both know—’
‘Do you still want to be a police officer? I mean really? Or are you behaving like a tosser because getting fired is easier than quitting?’
Logan stared at the carpet.
‘I’m getting tired of going through the same bastarding crap every time you have a bad week!’
He cleared his throat. ‘Dr Goulding wants access to Knox.’
‘I’m being serious, Laz.’
‘I…You haven’t called me “Laz” for months.’
Steel sighed. ‘Fuck’s sake, you’re hard work. You know that, don’t you?’
For a minute the only noise in the little office was the gurgling rattle of the radiator. Logan shifted in his seat. ‘I’m sorry.’
Another awkward pause.
Another sigh. ‘Thought you were supposed to be getting yourself sorted out.’
‘Yeah, well…Not going quite so well at the moment.’ Fidget. ‘What do you want to do about Polmont’s post mortem?’
‘Don’t look at me – got a flight to sunny Puerto de la Aldea at eleven, need to pack my bikini.’
Now there was an image worth a thousand condoms.
‘Can’t believe you’re still going, when—’
‘Course I’m still bloody going. I’m no’ giving up my last holiday of freedom just cos there’s a murder on the go. Susan would sodding kill me.’ She sniffed. ‘Get DI Whatshisface from Fraserburgh to attend. Be a nice welcome to Aberdeen: seeing an alcoholic sparky getting hacked out of a concrete block. Meantime,’ she thumped a hand down on Polmont’s journals, ‘take a squint through these, see if there’s anything worth taking a punt on. And get someone to process all that stuff he nicked.’
‘What about the book Danby took?’
She pursed her lips. ‘You let me worry about that.’
Logan hauled himself out of the chair. ‘Anything else?’
‘Aye, try no’ to fuck anything up, or anyone off, while I’m away. I can’t be arsed breaking in a new DS.’
Logan deleted the last sentence and rewrote it again, before firing the whole thing off to the printer in the corner of the sergeants’ cubbyhole. One formal letter of apology.
Someone said, ‘Knock, knock?’ and he looked up to see PC Butler standing in the doorway, holding a sheet of paper. ‘Thought you’d be gone by now.’
Logan groaned. ‘Not another bloody armed robbery…’
Biohazard Bob grinned. ‘Sergeant McRae’s feeling a bit down this evening, Vicki. Professional Standards gave him a rough seeing to. Without the benefit of foreplay or lubricant.’
‘Up yours Bob.’
‘No, up
yours.
That was the problem, remember?’
Butler held up the sheet. ‘It’s that e-fit you asked for.’
Logan took a look. Then groaned again. ‘This is crap.’
‘Yup.’
The computer identikit face was dominated by a big comedy beard and a pair of dark glasses. ‘So all we need to do is arrest every member of ZZ Top and we’ll be laughing.’ He stuffed the e-fit in his in-tray and slumped back in his seat. ‘Brilliant.’
‘He wore gloves, a disguise, kept the door from locking when they tripped the silent alarm, and never even glanced at the CCTV camera once.’
Logan covered his face with his hands, mumbling through the fingers, ‘But he grabs the crappest, shiniest baubles and doesn’t even think to go for the cash register.’
Bob performed a little drum roll on his desk. ‘You want to know what
I
think?’
‘Not really.’
‘Suit yourself.’
Logan let his hands drop and watched Bob gather up a handful of Unlawful Removal forms, stand, and make for the door. He stopped right on the threshold, turned back, scrunched up his eyes, raised a finger and said, ‘Just one more thing…’ in his best Columbo voice.
‘What?’
But Bob just grinned, stepped outside and closed the door.
PC Butler turned back to Logan. ‘So what do you want me to do about our armed robber?’
‘Go round anyone we’ve done for resetting in the last five years, better do the pawn shops too. Whoever he is, he’ll be trying to flog his takings…’ Logan drifted to a halt as he saw the expression on Butler’s face sour. ‘Are you—Oh
Jesus
! Bob, you filthy bastard!’
‘What’s that, Sweetheart? No, you’ll have to speak up.’ Julie sticks a finger in her ear, face turned away from the steering wheel. ‘Yeah, that’s better…How’s Tiggy and Milly?’ She laughs. ‘Did she?’
Tony sits in the passenger seat, trying not to eavesdrop as she asks after her tabby cat and Tibetan terrier. The Range Rover’s illegally parked on a double yellow, but when Julie’s driving stuff like that kinda gets forgotten about. Along with the speed limit and the number of obscene gestures you should make at other motorists.
He stares out of the window, watching the main entrance to the hotel. It’s a fancy looking place, all carved granite and sticky-out bits.
Still no sign of Neil.
Tony searches through his pockets for a packet of chewy antacids, pops one in and grimaces his way through it. Bloody balti lamb.
Finally…
He nudges Julie and points across the road. Neil’s marching down the hotel steps and out onto the pavement. The big man looks left, then right, then left again – like a good little boy – then hurries across to the car and clambers in the back seat.
‘Bloody freezing out there, like.’ He shuffles forward. ‘Turn the blowers up.’
‘Yeah…No. I gotta go, OK? Bye, Darling.’ And Julie hangs up. Doesn’t turn around. ‘What’s the score on the doors?’
Neil grins. ‘You were right: we
can
stake out a Jock cop shop and no bugger’ll notice.’
She nods. ‘Told you.’
‘He’s staying in room Three Twenty-Two.’
‘You sure?’
‘Followed him down the corridor, like. Watched him go into his room – it’s a king-sized double, if it helps?’
Julie turns in her seat and smiles at him. ‘You did good, Babe.’
‘Checked out the back too. There’s a loading dock we can jimmy open and a couple of CCTV cameras. But the cables run along the wall, so you can cut them without the daft sods seeing nowt.’
Tony pops another antacid. ‘You want to take him tonight?’
She pauses, head on one side, chewing the inside of her cheek. ‘Think we’d better call the boss first, don’t you?’
Neil nods. ‘Then grab something to eat?’
Tony burps and winces. ‘Not bloody curry again.’
Then Neil asks the
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
£500,000 question: ‘What about Knox?’
‘What about him?’
‘Well…shouldn’t we be doing something? Getting ready, like?’
‘All in good time, Babe.’ She draws a smiley face on the inside of her window with a fingertip. ‘All in good time.’
Logan sat bolt upright on the couch, blinking, head reeling. The lights were all on, the TV grumbling away to itself in the corner. ‘Urgh…’
Steve Polmont’s journals were scattered across the lounge carpet, one open on the coffee table, the tatty pages marked with the occasional bright yellow Post-it note, where Logan had found something at least partially legible.
Blink. He checked the time on the DVD player. Quarter to midnight.
Yawn.
‘Sam? You home?’ Logan scrubbed his face with his hands. The message on the answering machine said she was pulling yet another green shift – saving up for a new tattoo.
And then the doorbell went again.
‘Bloody hell, Sam…’ He peeled himself upright, then lurched to the front door, shivering and feeling like crap. Hadn’t even been drinking, just came home, microwaved some vegetarian lasagne, and sat down with Polmont’s journals and a rerun of
Taggart.
‘There’s bin a murrrrrrdurrrrrrrrrrr…’
Cold leached through Logan’s socks as he padded down the stairs to the communal front door. The bell went again,
an irritating dringing buzz. ‘All right, all right.’ He undid the latch. ‘Why can you never remember your damn—’
Reuben.
Fuck.
The big man’s face was a mass of bruises, radiating out from a nose covered in gauze and white bandage. His eyes were swollen, shrouded in blue and purple. The left one didn’t have any white left, it was a sea of scarlet, with the iris floating in the middle. An angry olive in a bloody Mary. Butterfly stitches on his forehead.
Logan tried to slam the door shut, but Reuben had his foot jammed in the opening. It didn’t budge.
Run. Turn around right now and run like hell up the stairs. Maybe he’d get into the flat before Reuben caught him and beat him to death.
Logan took a step backwards.
The big man held up a package. It was about the size of a laptop, only thicker, wrapped in cheery yellow paper tied up with a blue ribbon, the ends all curly and worked into a bow.
‘Compliments of Mr Mowat.’ Voice all bunged up.
Logan cleared his throat. ‘Look, Reuben, I—’
‘I have to apologize for my lack of respect yesterday. I was out of order.’ Reuben stood stock still, delivering his message in a nasal monotone.
‘It was a…Look, I’m sorry, OK? I just snapped. I didn’t mean to—’
‘Can I tell Mr Mowat you accept my apology?’
‘Yes, of course. I shouldn’t have—’
Something slammed into Logan’s stomach. Pain tore through him, radiating out like a wave of fire. He opened his mouth, but all that came out was a rasping wheeze as his knees gave way and he fell to the hallway floor.
Jesus,
God
that hurt…
Reuben flexed a huge hand, open, then closed again. ‘You’re
fucking lucky Mr Mowat likes you, McRae, or you and me’d be taking a wee trip out somewhere quiet, with a welding torch.’
He bent down, looming over Logan. ‘Understand this, you’re nothing more than a wee piece of shite to me. Mr Mowat’s no’ a well man. See if he dies? You and me are going to have another talk.’
Reuben tossed the rectangular package at Logan. A sharp edge clunked against his head, making hot stars flash across the dark sky.
‘Enjoy your fucking present.’
‘Logan? Why are you sitting here in the dark?’ Click, and the kitchen light blossomed slowly to life, the energy efficient bulb flickering to a dull-white glow. Sam stood with one hand on the switch, eyebrows knitted together. ‘Are you OK?’
Logan looked up from the table, clutching a bag of defrosting peas to the top of his head. One hand wrapped around his stomach. ‘Not really.’
She peeled the bag of peas away from his head and peered at the skin. ‘God, that’s some bump!’
‘Walked into a door.’
Samantha frowned. ‘Have you been drinking?’
‘Tea.’ He pointed at the mug on the table, sitting next to Wee Hamish Mowat’s present.
She pressed the bag back against his head. ‘You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had. Like Muppet Central out there…’ The fridge broke into a droning burr as she stood, peering in at the contents. ‘We got any white wine left, or did you finish it?’
‘I’ve been on orange juice and bloody lemonade all night, give me a break, OK?’
She turned. ‘I just asked if there was any wine left.’
Pause.
‘Sorry. I’ve…Not been the best of days.’
‘Been a lot of those recently.’ She clunked the fridge shut. ‘You want some more tea?’
‘Any chance of a hot water bottle?’
She filled the kettle, set it to boil, then disappeared from the room, coming back a couple of minutes later wearing her pink fluffy bathrobe and matching socks. Samantha thunked a roadkill-shaped Winnie The Pooh on the kitchen worktop, and unVelcroed his head. Unscrewed the plug and poured Pooh down the sink. Then filled him up from the steaming kettle.
‘Here.’
Logan held it against his stomach with his free hand. Groaned.
She stared at him. ‘Have you got your period, or something?’
No answer.
There was a rattle of spoons and mugs. Then she sat down on the other side of the table and handed over a fresh tea. ‘Here.’
‘Thanks.’
Pause. ‘Didn’t know you played chess.’
The set was made of wood – beech and mahogany – all laid out on a matching board. One of the pieces had a little cardboard tag tied around its neck, spidery copperplate marking out the words, ‘D
ETECTIVE
S
ERGEANT
L
OGAN
M
C
R
AE
’.
She picked the piece off the board – a horse’s head, carved in pale wood. ‘So you’re Batman now?’
‘That would be the
Dark
Knight.’
‘OK, I’ll bite. What the hell is going on with you?’
‘I’m turning into a cliché.’ He tried for a laugh, but it came out sounding forced and painful.
Silence.
‘Logan? Look at me, Logan.’
He pulled his eyes up from the tabletop. She placed the white knight back on the board. ‘You know…It’s OK to feel
a bit down every now and then, but…well, maybe you should think about getting some help?’
Logan went back to staring at the coffee rings. ‘I’ve been seeing someone for about three months.’
There was an awkward pause. ‘I…’ A sniff. Then her voice went hard, brittle, ‘I see. Is she
pretty
?’
‘What? No, it’s Goulding. You know: the criminal psychologist? Once a week, getting my head shrunk.’
‘Oh…right. Yeah, of course.’ She was blushing. ‘What does he say?’
‘I need to lay off the booze. Cut down on the cigarettes. Not be such a miserable bastard. Stop antagonizing my colleagues and superiors. Give up sitting in the dark, brooding.’
‘Not going that well then.’ Samantha picked up her tea and walked around behind him. Wrapped her free arm around his chest, her breasts pressing into the back of his head.
Logan took a deep breath. ‘You know it’s not like the world’s a better place when I’m drunk. It’s still shite. It’s just…a little easier to cope with.’
‘Am I part of the problem?’ Voice barely above a whisper.
This time the laugh was slightly more genuine. Logan dumped the bag of peas on the table and gripped her arm. ‘You’re the only decent thing I’ve got going for me.’
‘Your hand’s bloody freezing.’ She bent and kissed him on the top of his head, where the chess set had bounced off his skull. ‘You silly bugger.’