Dark Celebration (32 page)

Rafael rubbed her arm in a comforting gesture. "Maybe. All right. Give me a little time to finish things here first," Colby said.

Suddenly, her kitchen was too small. She needed the open range and a good horse to ride. Her mother had always feared jaguar blood, feared producing a male child. Jaguar males weren't always the nicest of men, and Colby didn't want Paul exposed to any more danger—or rejection. And she certainly didn't want anyone influencing him in the wrong direction. Raising children was definitely not easy.

Paul leaned over to kiss her cheek, then sauntered out of the room, calling for Josef and Ginny.

"You can't protect him forever," Rafael said gently. He wrapped his arms around her, nuzzling the top of her head with his chin.

"You say that, but you try to protect me—and Ginny. I just don't want him hurt anymore. I see it in his eyes sometimes. He wouldn't let you or Nicolas take his memories, and he remembers how the vampire took him over and used him to try to kill me. I know he still has nightmares about it. I just want him to be happy, Rafael. He's such a great kid."

He tipped her face up to his. "He is a great kid and he's going to be fine. We'll look after him together."

Her gaze slid away from his. "I couldn't bear to tell him the truth about me, about Razvan. I thought this would be such a good idea, coming here, meeting everyone, but now, I'm not so sure. Someone is bound to tell him who my birth father was."

"Do you think your brother would care about that?" Rafael scowled at her. "Paul loves you for who you are, not who your father was."

"You don't understand. He's asking about his past for a reason, and once he starts delving into it, he'll find out about me. I couldn't take it if he rejected me too. And how could I ever blame him? He's had so much to contend with because of me. If Mom hadn't had me, Paul and Ginny would have been accepted by the Chevez family and raised on the ranch in South America. He would never have been exposed to a vampire. Now he knows about the jaguar blood and once he finds out it isn't always so cool, he won't be happy about that either. And someone is going to tell him about Razvan." She shuddered, looked around and lowered her voice when she said the name. "I can hardly face any of these people, let alone have Paul and Ginny find out that such a terrible man is my father."

Rafael's hand came up to burrow his fingers in her hair. "You are his victim just as his sister was. Do not be ashamed of who your father was. You bear the mark of the Dragonseeker, and that is an unbelievable boon. The Dragonseeker clan is one of the most revered of all Carpathian lineages and it is
your
line. I hope that each of our children bears that mark. You should be proud of it, not ashamed."

"My father came from the same lineage and he tried to assassinate the prince,"' she pointed out. "He betrayed Natalya, his twin sister. He has children—like me—scattered across the world, and he intended to use us like blood banks. I have family I've never met, all victims of this man. His blood runs in my veins. Do you really think I want Paul—or anyone else—to know I'm related to him?"

Rafael gathered her closer to him. "
I
know you're related to him. Carpathian males perhaps have more understanding than most for those who become wholly evil. It is a path we all go down, and some touch a little closer than others. Before you came into my life, Colby, I could not always tell the difference between good and evil."

"Razvan nearly killed the prince," she repeated. "He took blood from little girls. It was why he got my mother pregnant in the first place—in order to use my blood to sustain his life."

Rafael could hear the horror in her voice. Colby still had trouble accepting the evil in their world, and he loved her all the more for her innocence. He took her hand and tugged, pulling her from the openness of the kitchen to the stairs leading to the privacy of their chamber belowground.

"We can't leave the children," Colby protested.

"You're always so responsible. I've directed Paul to be a good host. You need a few minutes without all the noise."

"I need our ranch. Wouldn't you love to go horseback riding in all this snow?"

"Is that what you'd like to do?"

She shook her head. "We don't have time. The dinner is in just a little while. And we're supposed to be entertaining the kids."

He reversed direction. "If you want to go riding…"

"It's snowing, silly." There was a wealth of love in her voice. Rafael, for all his domineering ways, always tried to give her whatever would make her happy. "And horses don't see that well at night."

He laughed softly and leaned down to place his lips against her ear. "I am Carpathian,
pequeña
, and I can provide whatever you want. Come with me."

Colby went because she could never resist Rafael or the way his black eyes burned with such hunger for her. As she stepped outside, he wrapped her in a fur-lined full-length hooded coat and boots. Just outside the walkway, standing by the porch, a horse sidestepped, tossing its head, eager to be running. The animal was at least seventeen hands, with hooves made to run in the snow. Rafael swung onto its bare back and reached his arm down to her.

"This is a night rider, Colby, and he loves to run."

She took his arm, allowing him to swing her up in front of him. "Go fast, Rafael, I want to fly across the ground tonight."

His arms caged her in and he bent his body protectively over hers, whispering a command to the snorting animal. The horse took off, powerful muscles bunching as he leapt forward. After the first explosive burst of speed, the horse's gait settled into a rhythmic gallop and they raced flat out across the open meadow. Snow hit their faces and the wind whistled past them. Clouds spun overhead and it should have been dark, but the snow made the world a bright, sparkling dream of a place.

"This land is breathtaking," Colby said. "Do you miss it?"

"At first, all of us did, but we've been so long where we are that the rain forest and the heat and humidity are our home. This is beautiful and wonderful to visit, but it no longer feels like home to me."

Colby turned her face up to the night sky. Rafael loved the rain forest, but he would have given it up—given up living with his brothers on their ranch—had she wanted to stay in the United States. Though she hadn't believed it when Rafael first claimed her, now, knowing his every thought, she realized just how much power she wielded when it came to her lifemate.

He gave her total acceptance and unconditional love. She pressed back against him allowing the rhythm of the horse to soothe her.

The animal knew his way, and twice leapt effortlessly over fallen logs and splashed through a small creek bed. He slowed when they were near the woods and hills, where she could see the ferns and shrubbery poking through several drifts of snow.

The world was silent here. Only their breathing could be heard in the night. There was only the feel of Rafael's arms around her and the crystal world with gently drifting snow—almost surreal.

"It doesn't seem possible that danger could be lurking so close, does it?" she whispered, afraid if she spoke too loud it would break the spell.

"There is only the two of us, Colby." He kissed the back of her neck. "Just us, alone in this world. Nothing evil and no shame, only a man who loves you above all else." His arms tightened around her as if he could keep her safe from anything—even her own feelings of inadequacy.

Colby fit her body more closely to his. Why did she feel inadequate? Was it what Paul had said? That most people just did? Or was it the fact that she'd never had a childhood? She suddenly sat up a little straighter. "Rafael. I'm like Josef."

He snorted, began to choke, sputter and cough all at the same time.

Colby swung around to look at him over her shoulder. "No, I am. I never developed social skills at all. I worked all the time and I had to hide who and what I was. Don't you see? I'm still doing it. I don't want anyone to know about Razvan, so I hide away, feeling ashamed. I don't have to go out and meet all these people—people you know and grew up with. People I'm afraid might wonder why someone as talented and gifted as you would choose to be with someone like me. I'm a teenager, struggling to find myself. That is just plain pitiful."

"I think this is all a conspiracy to make me feel more guilt because I tried to scare that boy. I'm not apologizing to him. He shouldn't have been ogling Ginny."

"I'm sure he didn't ogle her. He wants to be friends."

"Men never want to be friends, Colby." His hands slid under the coat to cup her breasts, his thumbs brushing her nipples as the horse circled back toward the house. "Our minds are too preoccupied with other much more pleasant things than friendship."

"You mean
your
mind is," Colby answered. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of his hands caressing her body. Both of them were highly sexual, and Rafael rarely went too long without sliding his hands possessively over her body. He couldn't walk past her without his palm cupping her bottom, or brushing her breast. Sometimes, she leaned against him and rubbed enticingly like a cat, loving the feeling of his body growing rock hard and knowing it was all for her. Like now.

The motion of the horse created a wonderful friction with her wedged between his open legs. Her gaze met his, and instantly she felt a thrill run down her spine. He was looking at her with that urgent hunger, so intense, so in need, everything in her body reached out in response. She tilted her head so she could nibble at his chin, further provoking him.

For a woman who had done nothing her entire life but be responsible, it was wonderful to have no inhibitions, to be able to just be whatever she wanted when she was with Rafael. She reached behind her and deliberately stroked the hard bulge forming in the front of his trousers.

Maybe she wasn't so sure of herself with others, but that wasn't the case when she was in her own home. Rafael was an extremely dominant man, yet she could stand up to him and knew always that he loved and desired her. She had Ginny and Paul and they both loved her for who she was. Maybe it was time to stop hiding from herself. She was no longer afraid of her own power. She knew what she wanted and she knew she was strong enough and determined enough to go after it. Razvan may have fallen a long way from grace, but he had passed on a legacy of gifts she couldn't deny. And so had her mother. She had to give Paul and Ginny the opportunity to embrace those gifts—not run from them.

"You'll do the right thing," Rafael murmured against her ear. "You always find the right answer for them. Jaguar traits are not all bad, and you want them to love that part of themselves. They may have great gifts and we can help them develop them, and if there are things that are difficult to deal with—well—we both know about them too. We can guide them together, Colby."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"I haven't done anything."

"Of course you have. You knew I needed to work this out to do the right thing for the kids and in order to do that, I had to believe in myself."

"I took you for a ride on a horse."

"You gave me a dream."

He was silent for a moment, urging the horse back toward the house, listening to the sounds of the hooves crunching the snow. "So this other boy. This Josef. Tell me about him."

Colby hid her smile. Rafael liked to be such a tough guy, but deep inside he was a marshmallow.

He leaned forward.
I caught that thought. I am going to make you pay for that
.

Excitement zinged through her body and heated her bloodstream.
I always so enjoy your little punishments
. She turned her head to lift her mouth to his. It was more than awkward kissing on a horse, but they managed it, and as always, liquid fire poured through her veins and love seemed to flood her mind to the point of spilling over.

"Josef is Byron's nephew. He seems young for his age. I think he's barely out of his teens."

"That is a babe by our standards," Rafael pointed out, his fingers anchoring in her hair. "Where did Paul and Ginny meet him?"

"Online. They all correspond. Skyler, Paul, Ginny, Josh and Josef. Some of the adults play video games online with them. But they've all become great friends. They were very much looking forward to meeting in person. I think Josef has a difficult time because he is a little older in age, but not maturity, yet everyone expects it of him."

Rafael sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try to get to know the boy."

"You really are a marshmallow," she teased, knowing he would retaliate. Wanting him to. Anticipating it. Her body was suddenly pulsing with energy—with need. Rafael exuded sex, his mouth sinfully sensual, his good looks wickedly masculine. She loved the way he wore his clothes, his hard stomach flat and his hips and the columns of his thighs encased in denim. His eyes were heavy-lidded and black as night, holding a seduction all their own.

Immediately, she felt overheated and sensitive, her body flooding with urgent need. His hand cupped her neck, drew her head back so his mouth could claim hers. She sat in the cradle of his hips, his erection pressed tightly against her buttocks, his arm over her breasts and his mouth rough, his tongue a velvet rasp of excitement, stroking and teasing, licking at her skin, teeth nibbling gently.

Just like that her body responded, heat spreading like liquid gold through her veins. She wanted him so bad she could taste it.

I want you too. But you deserve to suffer a little bit.

Beneath the fur-lined coat, her clothes were gone, leaving her body exposed and vulnerable to his wandering hands. He slipped his hands inside the coat, guiding the horse with his legs. His palm slid along her thigh, and her breath hitched in her throat.

"What are you doing?"

"Whatever I want." His voice had turned husky, almost hoarse, and the heat from his fingers was in direct contrast to the chill in the air.

Her blood heated instantly, her core pulsing with excitement. His fingers began a slow, almost lazy circle, occasionally brushing her most sensitive spot. A low moan escaped. The fur slid along her skin, sensitizing her nerve endings even more. He kissed her again, lifted his head, but held her face toward his with one hand while the other moved over her damp curls.