Dark Destroyer (22 page)

“I did, which is why I chose it to protect you.”

I chose it to protect you.
Kathalin was stunned. It was too much information, overwhelming her, but also helping her to see the situation clearly for the first time. Now, things were starting to make some sense.

“Then… then you have had this condition for many years,” she said softly.

Rosamond nodded, her blue eyes moist. “Aye,” she said quietly. “Many years. The finest doctors told me I had a dreaded disease and advised me to send my children away so they would not contract it. They advised Jasper to leave as well, or at the very least, take me to a home where I would be with others of my kind, but Jasper would not do it. He did not want rumors to get around that his wife was a leper, so I remain with him and he is a very unhappy man. Do not judge him too harshly, my dear. His life did not turn out as he had hoped, nor did mine.”

Kathalin was flabbergasted. Stunned, her head swimming, all she could do was stare up at her mother and feel more pity than she had ever felt in her life. But along with the pity, she felt tremendous guilt, guilt for hating her parents for all of those years, guilt for believing they had not wanted her.
Abandoned her.
Emitting a loud, harsh gasp, she hung her head.

“God’s Bones,” she said with understanding. “I can hardly believe this. You sent me away to protect me.”

“I did.”

Kathalin’s head came up, tears in her eyes. “If that is true, then why did you not send me any missives?” she wanted to know, struggling with her hurt and guilt. “For all of those years, you never once contacted me. I thought you had forgotten me. Why did you not send me any word?”

Rosamund’s brilliant eyes were laced with sorrow. “Because I did not want you to remember me,” she said. “I know it sounds foolish, Kathalin, but I wanted you to become accustomed to your new life and grow to love it, and forget about me. I wanted you to forget about ever coming home. Mayhap it was foolish, but I did not know what else to do.”

Kathalin couldn’t accept that explanation. “Yet you have sent for me, now,” she said, rising to her feet and moving away, agitated. “You have brought me home so that you may marry me off to an ally. That is not fair to me! I came to love St. Milburga’s as you had hoped, but now you want me back? I am an adult, Rosamund. My life is at the priory and I want to go back!”

Rosamund could see that. Now it was she who began to feel confused and anxious at the situation, understanding that her daughter was her own person. She had found the life she wanted to live and all of that was now threatened.

“I can see that,” Rosamund said. “It did not occur to me that you would not be happy to return to your family and fulfill your duty as a de Lara daughter.”

Kathalin simply looked at her, pain in her expression. “I have not been a de Lara daughter for many years,” she said, trying not to be so harsh. “I have been a ward of St. Milburga’s. I have learned to heal, I have learned to read and write, and I manage the kitchens. I am not a lady of refinement, one that would be expected in marrying a de Lara ally. Do you realize that? When you sent me to St. Milburga’s, you sent me to learn the ways of the church, not the ways of a refinement. I would embarrass myself in a great household, as things would be expected of me that I know nothing about. Did that ever occur to you, either?”

Rosamund shook her head. “It did not,” she said. Her gaze lingered on her daughter a moment. “You are not suited for the life we expect from you.”

Kathalin shook her head slowly. “I am not,” she said. “But that is your fault. Did you truly think that sending me to a convent would produce a fine and skilled lady?”

Rosamund fell silent, looking to her lap again. She could see, clearly, what her daughter was telling her and it was the truth. Kathalin would not know how to run a household or how to behave in noble and proper society. All Kathalin knew was prayer and kitchens. She truly hadn’t thought of any of that until now and her heart sank;
why
hadn’t she considered it?

She was a fool.

“I did not think on it,” she said after a moment. “I knew you would receive an education and the truth of the matter is that I did not think I would live long enough to see you as an adult.”

Kathalin regarded the woman a moment. “Yet you sent de Wolfe to bring me home,” she said. “I am coming to see that it was my request to take my vows that prompted it. You do not want me to take them.”

Rosamund shook her head. “Nay,” she said. “No de Lara is meant for the cloister.”

“Yet you still sent me to one.”

Rosamund lifted her head to look at her. “It never occurred to me that you would want to pursue life as a nun,” she said honestly. “And, as I said, I did not believe I would live long enough to see you into adulthood. But here you are, and her I am, and we have a problem between us. You wish to take your vows and I do not want you to. I want you to become a wife and mother and give me grandchildren. Is that such a terrible thing, Kathalin?”

Kathalin shook her head. “Nay,” she said honestly. “But it was never anything I wanted to do. Being raised around women who were kind and generous and pious, they were the only women I knew. I always wanted to emulate them. You made a mistake sending me to St. Milburga’s those years ago; you would have done better had you sent me to a great house somewhere to be raised as a fine lady if that was what you truly wanted me to become.”

Rosamund nodded. “I see that now,” she said. “I fear my lack of foresight has brought us to this point.”

In spite of everything, Kathalin was starting to feel sorry for the woman. Ill with a disease, she had made the best decision with her children that, at the time, she could. Now, the future had changed and so had her decision about her daughter’s future.

“What will you do?” Kathalin asked quietly.

Rosamund seriously pondered the question a moment before speaking. “You wish to take your vows because it is the only life you have ever known,” she said. “I want you to become a wife, something you do not know anything about. Would it be fair, then, to ask you to at least see something of that life and consider it before making your final decision?”

Kathalin cocked her head curiously. “What do you mean?”

Rosamund rose stiffly, painfully, from the chair. “I will make you a proposal, Kathalin, and you will decide if it is a fair one,” she said. “For now, allow your father and me to have a celebration in honor of your returning home. Meet people and become exposed to a world that you never knew. At least give it some time. Then, at the end of the celebration, if you still wish to take your vows as a nun, I will consider it. I promise that I will. But I feel that mayhap you must give consideration to a side of life you never knew. It is quite possible that you will like it.”

Kathalin didn’t want to agree to any of it but she thought of her alternative if she did not; they were going to force it on her anyway. She truly had no choice no matter how her mother made it sound. But the hope that Rosamund would consider her wishes if, in fact, she saw nothing agreeable with becoming a wife caused Kathalin to consider the proposal. Not as if she had any real choice, but still, for the fact that it seemed to mean a good deal to her ill mother, she would agree to it.

But in her heart, she knew her decision would never change.

“Very well,” she said. “If you promise to consider allowing me to return to St. Milburga’s, I will attend your celebration and see the world for myself.”

Rosamund sighed heavily with relief. “Excellent,” she said. “If you allow yourself to enjoy it, my dear, I am sure you will not be sorry.”

Kathalin merely shrugged, unwilling to commit one way or the other. Her mother seemed pleased and at least there was the potential of her returning to St. Milburga’s now, and that was all Kathalin cared about. As the situation was settled between them, Kathalin’s focus began to lean back towards her mother’s affliction. As a woman who had been trained in healing, Kathalin was most interested in it.

“May… may I ask you about your affliction, then?” she asked. “May I ask how you manage it? May I ask what you have tried to soothe it?”

A conversation that had started out harsh and tense turned to one of interest as Rosamund graciously agreed to speak on something she never spoke of. It was embarrassing to her, and tragic, and the only people who knew about it never asked. Neither Jasper nor her maid ever asked her how she was feeling; they simply reacted to her and her symptoms. Now, Kathalin was asking and it was awkward for Rosamund to speak of it at first, but Kathalin was genuinely interested without being judgmental or put off by it. Her daughter, a virtual stranger who had existed in a world that Rosamund knew little of, turned out to be a woman of compassion and understanding when it came to Rosamund’s disease.

For the next hour, the two of them spoke of it and Rosamund even showed Kathalin both hands and arms, which the young woman carefully examined. Kathalin seemed to understand the physical burdens of the disease and she was sympathetic to what Rosamund had suffered through. When all was said and done, it had been one of the more surprisingly pleasant hours of Rosamund’s life. Kathalin’s, too.

But that trust would eventually be betrayed.

Three Days Later

Shrewsbury

Shrewsbury was the largest marketing town along the Marches, a city on a massive scale compared to most, with street after street of merchants and shops. It was distinctively known for everything from its wool market to its specialty cakes, called Shrewsbury cakes, fruity and brittle creations that gave the city a culinary flare.

It was into the southern edge of this city that Gates, Kathalin, Alexander, and twenty de Lara soldiers entered. In fact, the city could be seen for miles in the distance and they had been approaching the burg, in full view, for over an hour. The closer they came, the bigger it became, until they finally entered the city limits.

Kathalin, of course, had been greatly awed by it. Coming from the smaller village of Ludlow, and having never traveled out of that town in her entire life, to see a city on this scale was quite overwhelming for her. Astride a gray palfrey on this sunny day, and clad in the elaborate blue patchwork surcoat that Gates has purchased for her, she appeared every inch an earl’s daughter but inside, she was still a naïve cloister ward. She had to make a conscious effort to keep her mouth from hanging open as she viewed the sights and smells and sounds around her.

From the cold and snow of only days and weeks before, the sun had come out for the past two days and the weather had oddly warmed, which meant the snow was melting at a prodigious rate and rivers and streams were full to bursting. Streets that had once been lined with snow drifts were now swamps of mud as the oversaturated ground refused to absorb any more moisture and the water tried to find its way out. It hadn’t been pooling long enough for it to smell rotten, but it was making for quite a mess in the streets.

In her fine cloak, Kathalin made sure to keep it up on the horse so the edges of it wouldn’t get splashed when the horses walked. Gates rode up ahead of her whilst Alexander rode behind her and the soldiers on horseback essentially formed a circle around her, ensuring she was well protected. Hyssington was only a few hours’ ride from Shrewsbury and the plan was to shop for the day, spend the night in a tavern, then, if necessary, shop more in the morning before returning home by nightfall. Kathalin had to admit that she was very excited by it all.

As Kathalin marveled at the sights around her, Gates rode up at the head of the column, directing them towards the Street of the Jewelers. He knew this town very well, as he’d spent much time here. Probably more time than he should have because of a certain merchant’s daughter who had lived here before her parents sent her off to parts unknown. He never did find out what happened to the lovely Fyona, which was probably for the best. She had been a happy dalliance for him until her father had chased him off one night with a very long blade, something old and antique and undoubtedly passed down through the family. That had deterred Gates for the time being but he’d seen her a few more times before she disappeared. He’d heard through the rumor mill that her parents had married her off and sent her to Saxony, far away from a certain knight. The thought of that still made him chuckle.

But he pushed aside thoughts of Fyona as they came to a fork in the road. One fork led to the cathedral and the Street of the Merchants, while the fork to the right led off to the Street of the Jewelers and also the section of the city where the Jews lived. Money was exchanged there, and horded there, at a fairly colossal rate, and Gates took his party off to the right to find the best silver and goldsmiths along the Marches.

But the area was also downwind from the Street of the Bakers, and as soon as they entered the area, the heavy smells of baking bread wafted upon the cold afternoon air. Gates turned to look at Kathalin to see if she was noticing and he could see, immediately, that she was. Her nose was in the air, sniffing. They had not eaten anything since leaving Hyssington that morning so he could already anticipate her hunger.

His gaze lingered on her a moment. He hadn’t really seen her for the past two days, as she had been sequestered in the keep in the second floor chamber that she had found so spacious and beautiful. Jasper had described his meeting with her, and the subsequent meeting with Rosamund, as unpleasant but no more than that. He did not ask Gates to guard her or watch over her in any way so long as she kept to the keep and the truth was that, as long as she indeed remained in the keep, there was no reason for him to contact her at all.

It was rather unfortunate for him. Gates wasn’t hard pressed to admit that he had missed Kathalin, conversing with her, and experiencing the world through her naïve eyes. He’d come to see he was rather hard about things in general but with Kathalin, to whom every experience outside of St. Milburga’s walls was a new and exciting one, he had come to like that about her a great deal. It was rather good to see the world as she saw it.

It was rather good to see
her.

Therefore, this morning was the first time in two days that he’d not only seen her for more than a second or two at a time, but actually spoken to her.
Take her to Shrewsbury and buy her some fine pieces of jewelry
had been Jasper’s command, a command that Gates had been eager to follow. But Alexander was along with them for the journey, unfortunately, so Gates kept clear of Kathalin for the most part because he didn’t want to give Alexander any more ideas about his attitude towards the woman than he already had. He was afraid that if Alexander realized Gates was interested in Kathalin, then it would turn into a challenge to Alexander. The man would view Kathalin as a prize to keep from Gates. If that happened, Gates was fairly certain he would have to kill the man. Kathalin was no conquest to be had.

The stakes had changed between him and Alexander, and so had the mood as far as Gates was concerned. This time, it was serious.

But he ignored Alexander for the most part, or at least tolerated the man because, so far on the journey, he’d made little attempt to speak with Kathalin and had only been politely short with her. That was enough to keep Gates’ suspicions down, as well as his dander, and he merely observed Alexander for the duration of the journey, speaking to the man only when necessary. Once they reached the city, that situation changed. Bringing the column of men to the mouth of the Street of the Jewelers, he waved Alexander and Kathalin forward.

“Alexander,” he said as the two approached on horseback. “I would think a meal is in order after we make the jewelry purchase, so will you please do the lady the honor of searching out a place to enjoy a meal? While you do that, I will complete the purchase and meet you back here on the street.”

Alexander nodded, although he was looking to Kathalin. “My lady, do you have any preference in what you wish to eat?”

Kathalin had no idea what he meant. “I…,” she said, looking between the two knights in confusion. “Is there actually a choice?”

She sounded astounded and both men grinned. “Some places will have pork while others will have beef,” Alexander explained. “What is your preference today? Pork or beef?”

Kathalin had never been given a choice of food in her entire life. She had eaten what she was given and nothing more. Therefore, she shrugged to the question.

“I am satisfied with either, Sir Alexander,” she said. “Whatever you select will be agreeable with me.”

Alexander smiled broadly. “I am deeply flattered, my lady, that you would be so trusting,” he said as he turned his horse around, motioning to a few soldiers to follow him. “I will seek out a feast fit for a queen.”

With that, he spurred his horse down the street, pushing aside pedestrians who weren’t fast enough to move out of his way. Kathalin watched him go, wondering what delights he was going to track down for her. Even though she’d managed the kitchen at St. Milburga’s, her meals were always simple and plain. That was how Mother Benedicta had liked it. When he disappeared around a corner, she averted her attention away from the lure of food and back to the street around them only to find that Gates was watching her. When their eyes met, he smiled.

“Would you like to climb down off that animal and walk with me, my lady?” he asked as he dismounted his horse. “We can see much more down here than on horseback.”

Kathalin nodded, thrilled to realize that it would just be her and Gates at this point. With Alexander gone, they were now alone for the most part. At least, that’s how she looked at it. She had been vastly disappointed when Alexander accompanied her and Gates on the ride to Shrewsbury; she hadn’t really seen or spoken to Gates in two days, as she had been sequestered in the keep, so this precious time to spend with him was something she was very much looking forward to.

But there was something more to this journey into Shrewsbury as well. After her mother’s confession regarding her affliction being the basis behind sending her children away at such a young age, Kathalin’s resentment towards her parents had fled a great deal. In fact, the healer in Kathalin very much wanted to help her mother and she knew of some remedies for skin conditions that she thought to try on her mother. Of course, providing the woman was open to such things, and having lived with the condition for as long as she had, Kathalin could only imagine she had tried everything that money could buy. But Kathalin was still determined to help if she could.

Oddly, she felt very strongly about it, strange when she’d spent so much time resenting the woman. But with time, and a plausible reason behind everything, Kathalin was willing to forgive. At least, she was willing to try.

It was something she wanted to tell Gates about considering he knew how she felt about her parents. She wanted to explain to him the reasons behind her parents’ decision to send her to St. Milburga’s at such a young age. She wasn’t entirely sure she would tell him of the leprosy, for Rosamund had made it clear she wanted no one else to know, but to at least tell Gates that the bitterness in her heart towards her parents had ended meant a great deal to her. Furthermore, after the visit to the Street of the Jewelers, she wanted the man’s help in finding an apothecary. She hoped such a shop would have the herbs she would need to help her mother.

But she didn’t speak of what was on her mind as Gates reached up and helped her down from the palfrey. She was more interested, at the moment, in relishing the feel of his big hands around her waist. When he set her on her feet, she smiled openly at him.

“So,” she said. “It is just the two of us now. It seems as if it has been years since I saw you last.”

He grinned, extending an elbow which she eagerly accepted. “It does,” he agreed as they left the escort behind and began to walk along the street. “How long has it truly been? Three years? Four? Whatever are you doing with yourself these days, my lady? The last time I saw you, you were healing the sick and trying to fight off a bully of a knight who was forcing you to visit your parents.”

She laughed softly; at this point, she was able to laugh at what had happened those days ago. It seemed so long ago, truthfully. She could hardly remember the animosity between them.

“I do not blame him,” she said. “He was only doing as he was ordered.”

“You did not think that at the time.”

She shook her head as a jeweler’s stall caught her attention. “Nay, I did not,” she said. “But I understand that now. I am sorry it took me as long as it did to realize that.”

Gates could see where her attention was and he turned her in that direction. “No need, my lady,” he said. “I cannot say that if I were in the same position, I might have felt any differently than you did.”

The jeweler’s stall had three elderly men working in it and two very big guards who were standing by the door. Gates also spied another heavily-armed man by the rear of the stall, back in the shadows. Mentally sizing up the situation, he proceeded as Kathalin, oblivious to the guards, simply stepped inside.

It was somewhat dark inside, windowless except for gaps in the wall where the wall joints didn’t quite meet up. The old men were small, with caps on their heads, each one of them engaged in some project on their own individual tables, which were covered with black wool felt. Even though Kathalin had walked quite boldly into the stall, she came to a halt once inside and eyed the men working. As Gates came up beside her, she whispered to him.

“I do not know what to look for,” she said. “I have never purchased jewelry in my life.”

Gates winked at her before speaking out to one of the old men. “You, there,” he said in his authoritative tone. “My lady is the daughter of the Earl of Trelystan. She would like to look at your wares. Will you show her?”

Two of the old men stood up, prompted by Gates’ loud voice, while the third simply looked over his shoulder at Kathalin and Gates and, disinterested, turned back to what he was doing. But the other two men were quick to be of service.

“My lady,” one very skinny old man with bad teeth bowed humbly in her direction. “I am Asher. I would be happy to show you my work.”

Kathalin watched the old man with great interest as he turned to the cabinet behind him and opened the doors. There were various boxes inside and he pulled one of them out.

“Work?” Kathalin repeated, genuinely quite curious. “You make jewelry yourself?”

The old man grinned, displaying the three yellowed teeth in his head, as he opened the box. “I do indeed, my lady,” he said. “I was taught by my father, who was taught by his father. He learned his trade in Roma.”