Dark Kiss (Harlequin Teen) (20 page)

“But you are.”

“Why? What makes me so special that I got tagged to become a gray?”

She looked at me with a sliver of amusement in her brown eyes. “A
gray?
Is that what they’ve termed it? How…dull. Literally.”

I shut my mouth. I didn’t want to say anything that might turn attention toward Bishop. “I don’t know.”

“You can’t feel how special you are? You can’t feel that you have something inside you that no one else here has? I knew it from the moment I first saw you here on Friday night. It’s what makes you stronger than all the others.”

I looked at her with shock. “Wait a minute. You saw me on Friday? Have you been watching me?”

“Take it as a compliment, Samantha, not something nefarious. I had to know for sure you were the right one. And you are.”

My head began to spin. More double-talk. “I just want my soul back. I don’t care about anything else.”

“You’d be wise to accept this and make the most of it. You have no idea how incredible this opportunity is for you.”

She actually didn’t sound cocky when she said it, like Stephen would have. She sounded sincere and matter-of-fact. So much so, I almost believed her.

Almost.

“Stephen told me about your friend Bishop,” Natalie continued. “What exactly does he want? Why is he here?”

I couldn’t tell if she was a demon. I didn’t get any sort of supernatural vibe off her at all at first glance—just like I couldn’t immediately tell with the others. I looked into her eyes and tried my best to focus, but didn’t sense anything. I couldn’t read her mind.

“Samantha,” Natalie prompted. “Please tell me what you know about him. He knows about us—about
me—
doesn’t he? He thinks I’m a threat.”

She knew quite a bit without me saying a word, which made me nervous. All she was looking for was confirmation and some extra details.

“He’s a friend of mine,” I finally said. “He saw Stephen manhandling me last night and came to my rescue.”

“Your knight in shining armor.”

“Something like that.”

“You don’t know who to trust, do you? Him or us?” She gave me a look of concern. “I didn’t realize how hard this would be for you. So much has been presented to you in only a few days and you’re so young. You’re still just a kid.”

Stephen had called me a kid, too. The word seemed insultingly dismissive. I didn’t feel like a kid after everything I’d been through.

“I trust Bishop.”

She shook her head. “If you did, you wouldn’t have come here again tonight seeking more answers—answers he’s unable or unwilling to give you. But that’s smart, Samantha. You shouldn’t trust anyone but yourself. Your heart and your gut. They won’t lie to you.”

“I agree.”

“What does your gut tell you about me now that we’ve met?”

I studied her, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying to remain calm and controlled. “I don’t know yet. You tell me I’m special, but you want me to take that at face value. I have nothing but words right now, no hard proof.”

“Words can be both powerful and dangerous. Not as dangerous as a golden dagger, though, are they?”

“Depends on the words, I guess.” I chewed my bottom lip, tasting my lip gloss I’d applied earlier. “I want my soul back, Natalie—and Carly’s, too. It’s all I want.”

“Can I tell you the truth about a human soul, Samantha? Will you listen to me before you make any firm judgments about me—about all of this?”

I studied her, trying to see if she was mocking me or humoring me. She seemed sincere, but I wasn’t sure. Finally, I nodded. I’d hear her out.

“A soul exists inside a human while they live out their allotted years of life,” she began. “When they die, that soul is judged and sent to either Heaven or Hell.”

My throat felt tight. “I already know this.”

“What you might not know is that a soul, at its very essence, is not actually the spark of humanity. Not the essence of a human’s life. Not something immortal that is either rewarded or punished upon death. Not completely, anyway.”

I frowned. “What is it, then?”

“At its base level, a soul is the fuel that powers Heaven and Hell and helps them keep their universal balance. Without a steady stream of human souls, both would soon wither and die. Humans wonder why it seems as if they’re always left to their own devices—war, famine, destruction, sickness—and no omnipotent supernatural being steps in to help save humans from their own poor decisions and bad luck. The answer to that is simple. It’s not human lives that keep Heaven and Hell in existence, but human deaths. Death frees the soul to be sent to one of these places to keep the balance of the universe.”

What a horrible idea—a soul as nothing more than fuel. I felt sick with every word she spoke.

“You’re lying,” I said shakily. I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything that might show how freaked out I was getting.

Natalie’s expression was tense, serious, but then a smile spread across her face, which helped her look much less grim, given the subject matter. “I know it’s a lot to accept. And I am simplifying it a lot. But the bottom line is, without your soul, you’re no longer just an energy source required by Heaven or Hell. For the first time in your life, you’re free from those chains.”

My stomach twisted. I didn’t like what I was hearing at all, but I wanted to learn more. I’d sift through it to see if there was any truth that could help me.

I wrung my hands together on my lap. My palms felt damp with sweat. “How did you learn all of this?”

“The hard way.” Her grin faded and she got up from the table and moved to the glass barrier to look down on the rest of Crave. When she turned back to face me, again I was struck by how strangely familiar she looked.

“There’s something about you,” I murmured. “Something I…I can’t figure it out. I feel like I know you.”

“Is that what your gut tells you?” she asked. “You should listen to it. It’s telling you that you can trust me, that I want the best for you even though my methods might seem harsh. I know it’s a lot to grasp, but please try your best. You’re important to this, Samantha. More important than you even realize. You’re the center of it all. That’s why I needed to find you.”

“What do you mean, the center of it all?” I shook my head. “I just got dragged into this because Stephen kissed me.”

She looked weary suddenly, like she hadn’t slept in days. “You know that’s not true.”

She was right. There were no coincidences here.

“You’re the reason the other grays exist,” I said quietly. “You’re their leader—their boss. You’re the one in control here.”

“I am,” she said evenly. “So you can see why I need to know about your friend Bishop and that very special golden dagger Stephen told me he has in his possession. I know he’s looking for me—even now, at this very moment. If he finds me, he’ll kill me because he thinks he’s doing the right thing. But he’s not.”

My mouth went dry. I didn’t want her to know the truth about Bishop, but at the same time my gut was telling me that Natalie wasn’t simply the evil entity I’d expected her to be. There was more to this story, a vital seed of truth here, but the picture was still too blurry for me to see it clearly.

“I don’t know what you want from me,” I finally said. “I don’t have the answers you’re looking for.”

None that I was prepared to share right now, anyway.

She moved away from the glass barrier and approached me. “You’re protecting him.”

I shook my head.

“I understand why you’re confused. Frankly, I don’t really care about Bishop that much, other than concern about my own survival. All I care about now is you.”

“But why do you care about me?” I searched for deception in her expression, but I saw none. She moved away from me to sit back down at the table.

“Have you discovered your psychic gifts since Stephen kissed you?”

My breath caught. “How did you know that?”

“It’s part of what makes you so special. You have gifts—gifts you’ve had since you were first born, but you haven’t been able to access them until now. Your soul cut you off from them like a lid on a box. Now that lid is gone, isn’t it?”

Before I’d been kissed, I was totally normal. Stunningly normal. But now I wasn’t. And it wasn’t just the hunger and the chills. It was everything else. Kraven couldn’t figure out why I could do the things I could—the visions, seeing the searchlights, my zapping ability, reading the minds of angels and demons, helping Bishop regain his sanity. Was it all related?

“I don’t know,” is what I ended up saying. “Maybe.”

Natalie nodded as if satisfied with that answer—or at least that I wasn’t trying to deny it. “I need your help, Samantha.”

“With what?”

“Right now, there’s a barrier preventing myself or any other supernatural being from leaving the city limits. We’ve been trapped like defenseless mice for a cat to pick off for entertainment. I think you already know that.”

I hadn’t tested the barrier theory, but I didn’t think she was lying about it. “It’s a big city. There’s more than enough room to move around here. I’ve barely left Trinity my whole life.”

“We’re still imprisoned here. I don’t know what Bishop has told you about me, but he’s wrong. He’s the one you shouldn’t trust, Samantha. He’s our enemy.
Your
enemy. But he needs you. He’s using you for your gifts, isn’t he?”

The song playing below shifted to something with a harder bass thump. I felt it through the bottoms of the tight boots I wore. I’d been so focused on my strange conversation with Natalie that I’d barely felt how much my feet had started to hurt.

I didn’t like her accusing Bishop of using me, but I couldn’t say she was lying. Bishop
was
using me. He’d even admitted it, which was why he’d made the deal to restore my soul to even things up between us. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“It’s very simple.” She studied me carefully. “I need you to bring his golden dagger to me.”

My heart was pounding right out of my chest. “What for?”

“It’s powerful, magical. It’s the key to leaving this city. And your newfound gifts will allow you to use it to help save me—save us all—before he finds me and kills me.”

I just stared at her, in shock from what she’d asked of me. Steal Bishop’s dagger. Save her life. Or she was going to die. We all were.

Bishop had said he wanted to
talk
to her.

After all I’d seen, I wasn’t even slightly convinced it would end there.

“Think about everything I’ve told you,” Natalie said. “Think hard. It’s very important that you make the right choice now. I mean you no harm, Samantha. I only want you to realize your full potential. I can help you do just that. I know you can feel the truth in what I’ve told you. Believe in me, Samantha. I can help you more than he can. I can help you accept what you
are
rather than what you
were.
You’re better now in every way.”

I crossed my arms. I hadn’t even taken off my coat since I’d first arrived. My chest felt tight and I literally felt sick to my stomach from everything I’d heard from her. “I want to go now.”

She nodded. “I won’t try to stop you. I’m leaving now, too. Thank you for coming here and giving me a chance to talk to you. It means more to me than you know.”

I turned away from her, half expecting her to tackle me at the top of the stairs and demand that I bring her the dagger right now. But she didn’t. I grabbed hold of the railing as I started down the twisting stairs. A few seconds later, Carly was right behind me.