Dark Legend (16 page)

"You know I speak the truth. I knew our women can only conceive every so many years, and that they manipulate that time, but I also knew the chances were very good that, as you had never conceived, you would be ripe to do so and I took full advantage of that."

She stared up at him a moment in silence, in shock. "But I am a woman, a healer. You could never have done such a thing without my knowledge…" She trailed off as she pressed her hands to her flat stomach in a kind of wonder. "It cannot be so." Even as she denied it, she closed her eyes and sought inside herself. There it was. The miracle of life. The thing she had longed for. Cried for. Wanted more than anything. The very thing she had given up ever having. Growing. Changing. Cells dividing. A child. She wanted to be upset. She had given up the idea several hundred years earlier. She was prepared to go to the next world. She was not prepared for such an event.

Francesca raised her head so that her eyes met his. "You really did this?"

"I would like to say I knew you wanted a child above all else. I had read that in your memories. I had also read your resignation and acceptance that you would not. I would like to tell you I did such a thing for you, or even more nobly, for a cause, for the continuation of our race, but the plain truth is much uglier than that. I did it so that I would not lose you. So that you would be tied to this world and not escape me into the next. Until Lucian is dead, I could not follow you. I did not want to be alone anymore. I acted out of selfishness. I changed the direction of your life inadvertently so many centuries ago and now I have deliberately changed it again."

Francesca just stood there, shock registering on her face. "A baby. I had all but forgotten the possibility of a baby." There was no condemnation in her voice, only a soft musing as if she couldn't comprehend such a thing.

"I am sorry, Francesca. There is no real way to make amends." Gabriel rubbed his forehead with the palm of his hand. "There is no excuse and there can be no forgiveness."

She wasn't listening to him; her mind was turned inward. She had longed for a baby, a family. More than anything she had wanted a child. Even if she had chosen to spend the last years of her life with Brice, she would never have brought a child to their union. Her pregnancy was a miracle, and she couldn't quite come to grips with the idea. "A baby. I do not remember what it is like to dream of such a thing. It cannot be, Gabriel. How is this? How did I not know?"

"You are not listening to me, Francesca," he said, his black eyes searching the sky overhead as if it might offer answers. He rubbed his temple. He needed a way out of the mess he had created with his arrogant decision, yet there was none. He had to be honest with her. He respected Francesca too much to give her anything less than the truth. In any case, she was his lifemate and eventually she would read his memories.

He should have waited, taken his time. He could have stopped her from choosing the dawn if there was such a need. But he had taken the attitude that she belonged to him and owed him complete surrender.

Francesca took a deep breath and laid her hand on his arm. She could easily read his inner turmoil, his anger at himself. In truth, she didn't know how she felt, but she didn't like the way his mind was so consumed with guilt.
Gabriel, her legendary hunter.
He had given so much to his people, had always done the right thing. Francesca didn't have it in her to condemn him. "In your defense, Gabriel, it was not a conscious decision on your part."

"Francesca!" Gabriel stepped away from her, unable to bear her touch when he had so wronged her. "You are touching me, yet you do not hear me. You are not seeing what is before your eyes. I do not want to start a relationship with dishonesty between us. Of course it was a conscious decision. I manipulated the outcome of our joining just as I aroused you with more than my body." He shook his head in wonder. "You really are the opposite of me. You cannot conceive of such deception and I cannot conceive of such goodness. See me, Francesca, see me with all my faults. I do not want you to accept me even in friendship merely because I am Carpathian and you are lonely for your homeland. I thought that it would be enough for me just to have you, but I find it is not. You do not know just how wronged you really are. Lucian himself will be hunting you and I am not certain I can protect you from him."

Her eyes moved over his brooding good looks. "Of course you can, Gabriel. He has no power over you, not unless you allow such a thing." She tilted her head, her long flowing hair cascading down in a shiny raven's wing. "And you are far too hard on yourself. It is true I do not merge willingly or fully with you, but when I touch you I can read you. You wanted me to stay with you but you did not really act out of selfishness. You simply could not allow a Carpathian woman,
any
Carpathian woman, to destroy herself. That precept was imprinted on you before you were born. Had I been another woman choosing to meet the dawn, you still would have found a way to stop me."

He looked down at the hand curled over his forearm. Very gently he captured it, brought it to the warmth of his mouth, an intimate, tender gesture that made her heart contract. "You take my breath away, Francesca. If I live another thousand years, I could never find anyone with your natural compassion. I do not deserve you."

A small smile curved her soft mouth. "Of course, you don't. I've known that from the first," she teased, wanting to ease the tension in him. "Come on, let's keep walking. I want to show you some of the sights."

Obediently Gabriel fell into step beside her, retaining possession of her hand. "You have not chastised me, not one word."

"What would be the point? Can I change what is? I cannot change the past. Why would I want to make you feel worse than you already do? Your remorse and regret are genuine. Chastisement will help neither of us. I don't really know what I'm feeling right now. I'll look at it later when I'm alone. All I know is I am very tired and at this moment strangely happy. It is a beautiful night and this city is truly a beautiful one. And there is no other I would rather share it with than you."

He had to look away from her, from the inner beauty shining out of her. Tears were burning in his eyes and he was ashamed. He didn't deserve her, he could never make up the terrible wrongs he had done to her, no matter how hard he tried. He shifted his body more protectively toward her as they walked along the nearly deserted streets swinging their hands together.

Chapter Seven

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"Tell me of your stained glass. It is very beautiful and peaceful. When I was examining the pieces in your studio I could feel the presence of power woven into the patterns. Safeguards of a kind." Gabriel was slightly in awe of her healing talent. Few had it so strongly. Her touch alone could impart a soothing peace and he detected that same sense of peace in her work.

She smiled, a quick flash of happiness that he would be interested in the things she enjoyed. She was glad finally to have someone she could talk to about her discoveries. "I started long ago working with small pieces. The idea was to use quilts and coverings of that nature to aid the sick. I often found when I examined a patient that there were other things involved than simply physical illness. Grief for the loss of a loved one, marital troubles, things like that. I began to experiment making specific items for individuals I had touched. I wove patterns that would aid my patients while they slept. Eventually my work became quite popular. People found they were drawn to the articles because they were so soothing." She glanced up at him. "I'm not explaining this very well. I just read people and know what they need and try to provide it. That's how it all started."

"You are truly an amazing woman," he said softly. She astounded him with her accomplishments. "And now?"

"I created a company. My identity is buried deep so if someone comes looking it will be difficult to find out who I really am." She grinned at him, her pride in fooling the ancient Carpathian males showing through. "I even added a safeguard to discourage human sleuths."

"A Carpathian would feel the dusting of power and certainly recognize the ancient symbols in your work," he pointed out.

"Naturally," she said complacently. "That is why I went to the trouble of creating a fictitious male Carpathian, an artist, who is a hermit. My work is often sought by Carpathians to safeguard their homes and bring peace to their environment. They send their orders through my company and I do the work. A few have asked to see the artist, but I always decline."

"Any Carpathian worth his salt can distinguish the difference between the touch of a female or male."

She raised her elegant eyebrow. "Really? Perhaps you underestimate me, Gabriel. I have lived for centuries in secret, undiscovered by the undead, by Carpathian males traveling through this city, and even by you and your brother. Although at times I suspected Lucian might have been aware of my existence. He returned often to this city and scanned more times than I care to count or remember."

"He did?" That made Gabriel nervous. If Lucian suspected such a thing as a female Carpathian in this city, he would dig and dig until he found her. Nothing escaped Lucian's attention. Gabriel recalled how Lucian had led him back to Paris time and again. Even their last terrible battle had been here. Had Lucian somehow been aware of a female's presence? They had shared information all the time. What one knew, the other did, too. Would Lucian hide such knowledge from him?

Francesca nodded solemnly. "Yes. I felt his presence often over the centuries, and I must confess I buried myself deep within the earth to hide from him. I was afraid of you finding me. I had lived alone so long doing whatever pleased me, and I no longer wanted a male in my life." She did not tell him that she had been afraid he might reject her again and she couldn't have borne it a second time.

"Francesca, Francesca," Gabriel murmured softly, "what a little liar you have become. What is the good doctor if not a man? Why would you want the taste of love from one such as he?"

She pulled her hand away from him, cutting him off from her soothing touch. Her face was averted, the curtain of hair concealing her expression from him. "That just happened unexpectedly."

"You have lived with humans so long, sweetheart," he said softly, gently, "you have forgotten what it is like among our people, among lifemates, males and females. I am a shadow in your mind, in your thoughts. You can tell an untruth to Brice, but never to me. You have lived as a human and do not want to extend your own feelings be- yond their capabilities. You are afraid of the intensity of Carpathian emotions. I hurt you, Francesca, and you do not ever want to experience such pain again."

She pushed at her long, wild hair and her hand was trembling, betraying her, even as she shrugged her shoulders with studied casualness. "I don't know if you're right. I certainly never blamed you. I was hurt at first, I was only a child, but I
always
understood the well-being of our race was far more important than the happiness of one person."

He caught her shoulders, bringing her to an abrupt halt, the controlled violence in his grip setting her heart pounding. He had enormous strength. "Never think that I had a noble purpose in leaving you behind, Francesca. If I had known of your existence, I would never have left. I am far more selfish than you can imagine, because you are not. I would never have given you up then, any more than I intend to now. You are the only person who is important to me. I saw the memory of that day so long ago in your mind. I was striding through a village, as I had gone through so many other villages. I felt something unusual, but my mind was preoccupied with thoughts of war. I glanced back, I saw women, but did not really see them. The faces of women and children haunted me, I could never look directly at them. I turned away as my brother spoke. Had I seen you, our lives would have been very different. I have a duty to perform, but I would have forsaken it back then. I would have allowed Lucian to hunt alone."

She studied his face for a long moment; then a slow smile curved her soft mouth and she shook her head. "No, you would have willingly sacrificed your happiness for the good of our people."

"But not yours. You still do not understand. I would not have sacrificed yours. I would never have allowed you to be so unhappy. I hate myself for what you have gone through to survive alone, feeling so rejected and unwanted."

"That was the child, Gabriel, not the woman. My life has had purpose and meaning. Because I am tired does not mean I did not enjoy the years I had. I lived well and made my life count as best I could. I had experiences other women of our race could never have. I have been independent and loved it. Yes, I missed having a family, but I had other things to occupy me. It was not a terrible life. And I always had a choice. I could have revealed myself to you again. I could have sought the dawn. I could even have chosen to go back to my homeland where at least the soil and the company of our people would have given me solace. I did not choose to do so. And it was strictly my choice, not yours. I am a woman of power, not a child creeping and hiding in the shadows. All I did, I did of my own will. I'm not a victim, Gabriel. Please do not attempt to make me out to be one."

"You do not love Brice, you only admire him. You have something in common. You respect the way he is with children, his ability to heal, and his focus on his medicine. But you also have your reservations about him."

"I do not," she denied adamantly. "Why would you think that?"

"If you did not, Francesca, you would have committed your life to him. I have been in your mind—"

"Well, stay out of it."

"It is not such an easy thing to do, sweetheart. In fact, you are asking the impossible of me. You do not like the way Brice treats the patients who are less fortunate, those without homes. You do not like the way he is able to completely forget his patients once he has treated them. There are many things you have serious reservations about. You share so much with him, so many children who are ill, but part of you knows that he needs to cure them for his own ego."