Read Dark Mind (The Dark Mind Trilogy Book 1) Online
Authors: Matthew Goldstein
Cole raised his eyebrows at the outburst.
Josh stood up, cleared his throat and smoothed the front of his jacket. “Pardon me. I didn't mean that. I simply wanted to say that I am doing my best here and would appreciate you cutting me some slack. I'm not the bad guy. In fact, I'd like to be friends. I think it would make both of our lives easier.”
Cole sighed. “All right, I guess I have been a bit of a jerk. I'm sorry. I never realized how protective I am of her. I don't know how it happened.”
“It's because you have a big heart, son.” He smiled. “Now let's go back out there. They must be wondering what's taking so long.”
Cole led the way back to the living room, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted.
“Everything all right?”
Meredith asked upon their return.
“Yes, we came to an understanding,” Josh said. “I'll be going now but we'll be in touch.”
As he lay in bed that night, he couldn't help but think that in some sick, twisted way, his life had been changed for the best. He felt a different person from whom he had been just a couple months ago and, as awful as he felt for Amy, he was thankful for everything life had thrown at him. The creak of the door pulled him from his musings.
“I had a bad dream,” Amy said. “Can
I come in?”
“Of course.” She crawled under the covers, snuggling up next to him, and he wrapped his arms around her. “You're all right. You can stay here as long as you want.”
“Thanks.”
He pulled Amy closer, feeling his eyes grow heavy.
Kill Rita Stern or Amy will die. Monday.
24
Cole's eyes shot open, his heart pounding, his breath coming in short raspy breaths.
No! Are you kidding me?!
His mind activated its useless defense mechanism against failed agreements.
Breathe three times before Amy opens her eyes. Swallow before you blink... Cough before... Shrug... Twitch... Blink...
He continued his self-created agreements in desperation for a few minutes before the true weight of the situation sank in.
What the hell was that?
“Cole? Are you okay?”
He had not noticed that his twitches had stirred Amy and she was staring at him strangely. “Oh, yeah, I, uh, couldn't get comfortable. I'll be right back.” He bolted out of the room and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He stared at himself in the mirror, willing his breathing to slow but unable to stop the panic.
I can't, I won't, let any harm come to her. But how do I fight something like that? I can't
kill
my psychologist.
There was a light rapping at the door. “Cole?” It was Amy. “Are you okay in there?”
“Yep, just had to go to the bathroom. Go back to the library. I'll be there in a minute.”
“All right...”
Footsteps padded away down the hall, leaving Cole alone, staring into his own eyes. “It's not going to happen,” he whispered. “I won't let it. I'm sure you're just getting yourself worked up over nothing. She's not really in any danger. I was falling asleep so it was probably just my imagination. You can do this. Go back to bed.” His chest heaved up and down. He flushed the toilet, ran the water for a few seconds, and returned to the library. He slipped in, clicking the door shut behind him, plunging himself into darkness.
“Sure you're okay?” came the whispered voice in the dark.
Cole crawled under the covers and sidled up to Amy. “Yep.”
“All right, well,
I think I'm going to go back to sleep.” She left, shutting the door behind her.
After lying awake all night, staring at the ceiling, he was barely conscious the next day. No matter what rationale he used, the sickening fear did not fade, although by now it felt like no more than a bad dream. Once the day started, however, he was able to distract himself with his daily routines.
He pushed his irrational fears aside as best he could but there was no shaking them entirely. In the afternoon, Meredith took Cole to pick up Amy, who came out of her session with an unusual sparkle in her eye.
“Today was amazing,” she said. “Dr. Stern really knows how to get to you. Even better than that, she wants to have a joint session tomorrow.”
“What do you mean, with me?” Cole said.
“Yeah. She thinks it'll be important since we're close friends, and living together. I'm really looking forward to it.”
“That sounds great,” Meredith said. “It'll be a perfect chance for you two to connect on a deeper level.”
“Should be interesting, that's for sure,” Cole said.
Cole's head was not into all the fun activities his mother had planned for the rest of the day. Meredith and Amy either didn't notice his aloofness or didn't want to say anything because neither one of them asked him about it.
The next day, Meredith drove the two of them to Dr. Stern’s office. She greeted them with her usual complacent smile and, after having a word with Meredith about Amy's progress, welcomed them into her office, where Amy and Cole took seats side by side on the couch.
“So, Cole,” Dr. Stern said. “How have things been going?”
“Pretty good. I see you couldn't wait for Tuesday.”
Dr. Stern smiled. “Glad to see you haven't changed too much. All right, let's get started. This is a bit of an informal session. I just want to get an initial feel for your dynamics together and then we can go into depth individually another time. So, it seems a lot has been happening lately between you two. How's the semi-sibling relationship so far?”
“Great,” Amy said. “Like I said, it's been really hard for me but he's been a huge help in getting me through the day.”
“And you, Cole?” Dr. Stern said.
Cole leaned back in his seat. “Ditto. Great.”
“All right... Is there anything either of you want to discuss?”
“Not really,” Cole said.
“Not sure,” Amy said. “Like what?”
“I'm sure it hasn't quite sunk in yet, but how are you adjusting to living together? Have you noticed things about each other that you never noticed before?”
“Let's see,” Amy said, tapping her chin. “He's really good at comforting people. Makes for a great pillow too.” She chuckled.
“Is that so?” Dr. Stern said. “Cole? Cole!”
“Wha-?” He hadn't noticed that he spaced out. “Sorry?”
“Something the matter?” Dr. Stern said.
“No, sorry, my mind just wandered for a second.”
“Are you sure?” She cocked an eyebrow but Cole just nodded. “I asked how you were adjusting to living together.”
“It's great, like I said.”
Amy cast her own skeptical look at Cole.
Dr. Stern jotted something onto her pad. “Okay... We can come back to that later. Moving on, what has-”
“I'm sorry,” Cole cut in. “Can I talk to you alone for a second?”
“This is a group discussion. Can it wait until Tuesday?”
“No.”
Amy shifted in her seat to face Cole, a confused and hurt expression on her face. “What can't you say in front of me?”
“It's nothing bad about you. I just need to ask her a personal question that I'm too embarrassed to ask in front of you.”
“That's cute.” Amy's wide smile had replaced her confusion. “No worries.”
“Come with me,” Dr. Stern said, getting to her feet. “Wait here, Amy, we'll be right back.” She led Cole to the empty waiting room, out of earshot. “What's bothering you?”
“There's no good way to say this. I don't know what you can do but I have to tell you anyway. I hope you can come up with something.”
“Deep breath, Cole. You can tell me anything, you know that.”
“I can't go into many details because Amy is waiting so you're going to have to put an inhuman amount of trust into me. I found out that Amy is goi- might be... killed on Monday.”
Dr. Stern’s eyes went wide. “That is a very serious claim. What did you hear?”
“Nobody told me anything. I can kind of predict things that are going to happen. They just come to me. I know that sounds absurd and I don't have any proof with me but I can tell you that I have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that these predictions are accurate. Like when my mother was in that accident, I knew that was going to happen but I did nothing to stop it because I was in denial. But I'm not going to let any kind of denial kill my best friend. I'm going to do something about it this time. Do you have any ideas? Have you ever heard of anyone having this ability?”
Dr. Stern’s apprehension did not diminish after his speech. She took a seat and beckoned him into another facing her. “How long have these predictions been coming to you? You never mentioned them before.”
“My whole life, as far back as I can remember. I don't tell you everything. Look, I know you don't believe me but what's the harm in going out on a limb here? If I'm right, we could save her life and if I'm wrong then who cares?”
“Your whole life? Does anyone else know?”
“Only Amy, but even she only half believes me. Please, Dr. Stern. I'm begging you. Do this one thing for me and I swear I won't ever keep another secret again. I'll do anything. Come on, Amy's waiting.
Please.
”
“Look, Cole, you're smart. Be rational for a second. I'm sure it may seem like you can predict the future but isn't it more likely a coincidence or your imagina-”
“Dammit! I thought you of all people would believe me.” He covered his face as tears began to stream down his cheeks for the first time he could remember. “I don't want her to die.”
Dr. Stern patted his back and then fetched him a tissue. “She's not going to die. You can trust me.
I think we need to have an emergency session tomorrow and sort all this out. You're going to tell me exactly what these things are that come to you and once we dissect it, I'm sure you will realize there is nothing to worry about.”
Cole did not respond.
How did I really think she would believe me, or even humor me?
He wiped his tears dry, hoping his bloodshot eyes would not give away the fact that he was crying. While Dr. Stern went off to fetch Amy, he approached her desk, ignoring his pounding heart, a whispering creeping along the outskirts of his mind.
“I think that's it for today's session,” he heard her say from the other room. “Come hang out in the waiting room until Mrs. Sicarius comes to pick you up.”
You brought this on yourself, Dr. Stern. Why couldn't you just believe me?
He grabbed the letter opener off her desk and shoved it into his pocket.
Amy joined him in the waiting room, a suspicious look on her face. “Seriously, what was that about?”
“It's too embarrassing,” he said, looking away.
Amy sat in one of the seats as Dr. Stern rejoined them, kneeling down in front of Amy and talking directly to her. Cole heard not a word as he circled around behind his doctor, reaching into his pocket. The whispering grew louder.
You can do this.
He felt the cold metal on his fingertips as he watched Dr. Stern's vulnerable neck, moving gently as she spoke. His hand enclosed on the handle, gripping it tightly; his eyes bore into her, noticing for the first time the crisp, ironed white shirt, the neatly tied hair, the steady rising and falling of her body as it took in life-giving breaths.
Amy looked up. “Cole! Why are you crying?”
25
“I think I'm up for going to school tomorrow,” Amy said over dinner that night. “I'd like to not fall any farther behind in my classes. I've also been worried what's been happening to you at lunch. I hope they weren't too much for you to handle alone.” She smirked.
Cole stabbed his food with his fork. “Nope.”
“Are you all right?” Meredith said. “You've been acting strange ever since I picked you up.”
“Sorry, no, I'm fine. Actually,” he said, steadying his breathing and looking at Amy, “believe it or not, they've been warming up to me lately. They've become almos
t... tolerable.”
“Wow, you didn't tell me this,” Amy said, in an attempt to lighten the mood.
“Wait, you didn't tell me this either,” Meredith said. “Who's 'they'? Did you make more friends at school?”
“It's nothing major. We almost forcefully had to talk to some of Amy's past friends at lunch.”
Meredith did a poor job of hiding a smile.
Cole ignored her. “They do ask about you every day. We all miss you.”
“Aw, Cole, that's so sweet,” Meredith said.
“Cool, yeah, I'll be there tomorrow,” Amy said.
“Great,” Cole said.
That night, when they were alone in the library, Cole watched Amy talk, appreciating her energy, her optimism. He felt more alive and helpless than ever before. Every minute that passed felt like precious lost time, every second like torture. He wanted to hold onto this moment, make it last forever.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Amy said.
Cole hung his head. “No reason.”
“So I take it you're not going to tell me what you said to Dr. Stern?” When Cole didn't respond, she shook her head. “Let's just watch some TV.”
“Yeah, sure. Hey, do you wanna sleep in here tonight?
I think I can convince my mom.”
“No, I'm all right.
I wish you wouldn't be so secretive about everything. I thought we were past that. But it's okay. I'm pretty sure I know what it is.”
They took seats on the couch in front of Beth's ancient television. Cole barely knew, nor cared, what Amy put on. His attention was focused on Amy in his peripheral vision as she laughed and chatted about the program.
I'm sorry, Amy. I couldn't do it. I was too weak.
He dreamt that night that he was in an impenetrable fog and could hear Amy calling his name, crying out for help, but he couldn't find her. As he searched, her cries became more desperate and, in turn, he became increasingly more frantic. At last he stumbled upon Amy lying on the ground, with Travis standing over her. Travis turned to face Cole with a menacing stare and their eyes locked for a second. A smile slowly crept across Travis' face.
“What's the matter, thought you could save her?” Travis laughed and ran off into the fog.
Cole knelt down by Amy's side, and reeled back in horror. Amy's face was pale gray, as if she was long dead, her eyes and mouth wide, locked in an expression of chilling terror.
He awoke with a start in the dark, his heart pounding, and crept into the living room to see Amy sleeping peacefully, curled up on her side. He sat next to her, trying to calm his shaking body.
She stirred and opened her eyes. “Huh? Cole? What's going on?”
“Nothing. Just a dream. Go back to sleep.”
She turned over and was asleep in a minute. Cole lay next to her, staring at the ceiling as the morning sun inched its way through the curtains, the image of Amy's dead face staring at him from within. He turned onto his side to watch her slow, even breaths, full of life, a life that was not ending anytime soon.
“I will protect you,” he whispered as tears dampened his cheeks. He slipped off the bed and returned to the library.
Morning came at last but the nightmare wouldn't leave.
“You look like a wre
ck,” Amy said when she saw him.
“Just some stupid dream. I don't know why I can't shake it.”
“What was it about?”
Cole swallowed hard. “I don't even really remember anymore. Just some sounds and images of things that spooked me for some reason. It's stupid.”
“Nothing to be ashamed of. Ah man, I don't wanna go back to school.”
“What? You're not going?” Cole said, fighting back a panic.
“No, I'm going, just don't want to. I mean, it's school y'know?”
Cole forced a laugh. “Right, right. It's school. Who really wants to go there?”
Cole kept an eye on Amy all morning, afraid to let her out of his sight. During the ride to school, he squeezed the arm rest with an iron grip, anticipating a horrific accident at any moment, but they arrived safely. At this point they had to separate, the time of the day he was dreading the most. He kept telling himself that school was the safest place to be. If anything was going to happen, it wouldn't be in the classroom. Nevertheless, he stared at the clock, praying for lunch, all the while waiting for an announcement that there had been an accident. He breathed a sigh of relief at lunch when he saw her walk into the cafeteria, unharmed, and possibly even happy.
Acting nonchalant, he took a seat with Martin and his friends and waited for Amy to join them, pretending he had not seen her come in.
“My test was horrible. So many stupid questions,” Cole said as Amy sat down next to him. “What were you guys up to today?”
Cole pretended not to notice the look Amy gave him and instead tried to seem legitimately interested in the answers that were being thrown his way.
“Oh my God. Seriously, wasn’t that test horrible?”
“I haven’t had it yet. Was it really that bad? What was it like?”
Amy leaned in close. “I see you’ve adjusted well,” she muttered.
“Wait, hold on,” Martin said. “Amy’s back! How are you?”
“Y’know, okay, I guess,” she said, shifting in her seat.
“Do you not want to talk about it?” someone said.
“Not really.”
“I had an uncle w
ho died,” someone else piped up.
“Henry,” Martin said roughly. “Shut. Up.”
Henry hung his head, taking a big bite of his sandwich.
“Cole, is there anything you can help us with for the test?” Martin said.
Cole threw Martin a grateful look. “I’ll try my best but you know you’re going to have different questions.”
“Oh, and you should have seen this bad boy on Friday,” Martin said.
Amy turned her head to Cole, confused.
“You don't need to bring that up,” Cole said.
Martin clapped his hands. “Look at this kid. So modest. That ass Derek hit him on Friday and he took it like a man. It was so cool.”
“Serious?” Amy said. “Wow. Finally pushed him too far?”
Cole hid a smirk. “I really don't know
what
happened. I said like two words to him and he just snapped.”
“It's true,” Martin said. “We were there. That kid's psycho.”
Amy was quiet for most of the conversation but after a while she jumped in. Soon enough she was back to her old self, gesturing and exclaiming enthusiastically. Cole lost himself in the conversation as well and for a brief time forgot all about the weight of the day. However, as the lunch period drew to a close and he and Amy parted ways, the anxiety returned tenfold.
“See ya later, Cole,” she said, waving to him.
“Amy, hold up a second. Would you want to maybe sit in on my class? I’m sure my teacher won’t mind.”
“Cole, don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl. I’ll be all right on my own for the rest of the day.”
Cole could think of nothing more to say so he let her go, reminding himself that if something were to happen, it would not be in school. The rest of the school day came and went without incident and Meredith was soon outside to pick them up.
So far so good. The rest should be easier.
“I’m going to take you to Dr. Stern’s for a short while,” Meredith said once they were all in the car.
Cole shot up in his seat. “Oh no.
I forgot all about that. Can I cancel?”
“What's the big deal? It’ll be a short session. She wouldn’t tell me why but she said it was important that she see you today.”
“No. I’m not going. It can wait ‘til tomorrow.”
Meredith pulled to the curb so she could face Cole. “Why are you being so stubborn?”
“I’ll only go if Amy comes with me.”
“What?” Amy interjected from the back. “Why do you want me there?”
“I don’t think that’s an option,” Meredith said.
“Then I’m not going,” Cole said, raising his voice. “I’ll go tomorrow but I’m not going today. That’s it.”
Meredith gave him a peculiar look. “And you refuse to tell me why.”
“I just don’t want to go.”
“All right,” Meredith said, putting the car back into drive. “I don’t feel like fighting with you right now. We’ll get this sorted out tomorrow.”
Cole sat back in his seat, breathing hard and feeling the relief wash over him.
I should never have told her about Amy. I could have caused the problem by trying to help it.
Meredith pulled up in front of the house and left the engine running. “I’m dropping you off,” Meredith said. “I have a job interview to go to. I’ll see you for dinner.”
Beth was busy in the kitchen when they entered and Amy pulled Cole into the library.
“What was that all about?” Amy said.
“I can’t tell you. I’m sorry.”
“Na-ah. I’m sick and tired of your crap. Tell me. Right now.”
Cole stared down at his feet and kicked the floor.
“No more secrets,” Amy said. “Look at me. This is about what you told Dr. Stern, isn’t it?”
Cole took Amy’s hand and looked into her eyes. “Amy, you should know that everything I don’t tell you is for your own good.”
Amy tugged her hand free. “Let me decide what’s good for me.”
“Dammit. All right. I got an agreement that you were going to be… hurt sometime today. I need to stay with you to make sure that doesn’t happen. We’re safe here so let’s not leave until tomorrow, okay?”
Of all the possible reactions Cole expected, he did not anticipate a smile, or rather he had prayed for any other reaction.
“Cole, that’s crazy. I’m going to be fine. Don’t be so worried about me, regardless of what your inner demon may or may not have said.”
“No, Amy, you don’t understand, this is not something to take a chance on. Look, whether or not you believe me, just humor me until the end of the day. If I’m wrong, no harm done but if I’m right then you’ll be thanking me later.”
“Actually, if you’re right, then you’ll either fail and I’ll get hurt or you’ll succeed and we won’t know you were right.”
Cole couldn’t help but smile. “Amy, please, this is a serious matter. Don’t joke about it.”
“I’m sorry, all right, all right, I’ll humor you so you stop worrying. But I’m telling you, you’ve got yourself worked up for nothing.”
There was a sudden knock at the door. Amy jumped and gasped.
“Who’s worked up?” Cole whispered.
Beth opened the door and poked her head inside. “I’m going out to the store. You kids wanna come or you gonna be all right by yourselves?”
“We’ll be fine,” Amy said.
“’Kay, be back in a bit.” Beth shut the door and the two of them could hear her close the front door and drive away, leaving them alone.
“So you wanna build me a bunker to hide inside of?” Amy said.
“Funny. Let’s play a game or something.”
“Sure.”
As Amy took out their new game and was setting up the pieces, the doorbell rang, raising both her and Cole's heads in confusion.
“I’ll get that, I guess,” Cole said, fighting down an anxiety that was threatening to overwhelm him. He approached the front door and shouted, “Who’s there?” but from the whisperings in his head he already knew the answer.
There was a long pause and then a small reply, “Travis.”