Dark New World (Book 3): EMP Deadfall (15 page)

Peter wondered if God had just thrown him a test. Well, if so, he aced it. His smile turned genuine then, even reaching his eyes for a brief moment.

* * *

Mandy walked into the living room, empty save for Cassy, who was doing her daily inspection of the house. Good, because it wouldn’t do to have this conversation in front of others. The Good Book was wise when it said that if another person acted in error, first discuss it with them alone. “Honey, I need a minute. I see you’re doing your inspection, and it isn’t time for lunch yet, so I know you have time. I’ll follow you around if you like, but you need to hear me out.”

Cassy paused, looked up, and let out a long breath. Then she nodded. Mandy was relieved; she hadn’t relished having this conversation in public, but that would have been her next step.

Mandy continued, “I only have one thing that can’t wait. It’s Choony. I know you said he had to train with the rifle or leave the Clan, and I’m here to tell you, I don’t think that’s very Christian or the right way to approach this. People here like and respect that peaceful, brave little Buddhist.”

Cassy clenched her jaw, crossing her arms the way she had done since she was a child when she was about to go on the defensive. “I won’t let anyone in the Clan shirk their duties, Mom. I think the Bible has something to say about letting those who won’t work also not eat. My house, my rules, and dammit, we’re about to be attacked. Go ask Michael if we need discipline right now—you know what he’ll tell you.”

“True, the Bible says that, and Michael will give a military response.” Mandy paused a moment before continuing: “No one here can say Choony doesn’t do
more
than his fair share of the work, and they’ve all seen or heard about how he came through to warn us while bullets chopped at the plants around him. He works hard without complaint, doing jobs no one else wants. He earns his keep, Cassy, so don’t cherry-pick Scripture to serve your own ends. God isn’t fooled, and I taught you better.”

“Mom, you’re right about Choony. I already hit Frank up to see what we can do about him, about arranging it so he can stay here without driving wedges. But he didn’t bring it to me privately, he forced it on me in front of everybody. Now I’m on the spot. And do you really think God is watching us? I think He turned His back on us a month ago. And I’m not sure He ever did watch over us. My husband died, and He did nothing. My job took a turn for the worse, and He didn’t lead me to some milk-and-honey job—instead I had to work harder for less money and spend less time with the kids. Is that what the Bible says He wants? You got diabetes. Where was He when that happened? If He’s watching us at all, He doesn’t care about what happens to us.”

Cassy relaxed her stiff posture and took a slow, calming breath. “Look, I admire your faith, Mom, I do, and I sort of share it, most of the time. But this isn’t a time we should rely on God. We have to do whatever we can for ourselves and hope to survive—and maybe hope God gives us a hand, because that’s the best we can expect.”

Mandy felt her cheeks flush red and realized she’d clenched her fists. She counted to three slowly as she unclenched her fists, then took a deep breath. She’d seen Cassy try to tone down the disagreement, or at least her anger, and of course she should try to do the same…but to deny God like that? She closed her eyes, breathed deeply again, reaching for calm. Wrath wasn’t the solution here, she knew, besides it being a sin. Cassy was watching nervously, waiting for her to reply, and looked to be trying as hard as she could to get this conversation right. That made it even more important not to falter, not to fail her daughter.

After a few more moments, she replied, “God watches over us more than you know. The evidence is all around us. Every plant on this farm is a testament to that—after all that desolation, it was your farm that didn’t get sprayed. Me and the kids survived to get to Ethan’s bunker, and that reclusive man risked it all to save us in the face of everything. All of that is proof.
You
surviving to get there just when we did is proof, too. We would all be dead on our own, but God put us in the way of meeting Ethan, and put Ethan in mind to help us, and in return we’ve helped Ethan continue his mission for our country. That is all in God’s plan. How can you doubt it? I got diabetes from eating too much cake, not because God failed me. We have Free Will and I chose to eat badly. We make our choices in this life, and we accept the results. God didn’t take your husband from you either—cancer did—but if He hadn’t allowed nature to take its course, if the kids still had a father, however sick, you wouldn’t have gotten that life insurance money when you needed it. You wouldn’t have been able to buy this land. Your job wouldn’t have given you all those months off on sabbatical, so you wouldn’t have had this place set up right when it was needed, ready when
we
needed it.”

Mandy paused then, giving her daughter a steely look, but Cassy didn’t contest what she had said, so she continued: “Look. We would all have starved to death by now, like so many other people, without the unlikely chain of events that got us all here. So don’t you
dare
try to tell me God isn’t among us, turning men’s evil deeds and nature’s random works to His own good purposes.”

Cassy sighed. “Mom, you see God’s will, but I see luck. We’re only one random event away from dying, even now, so you’d better stop relying on God and start to rely on your own smarts and hard work.”

Mandy closed her eyes and let out a deep breath with a small, silent prayer. Sadness washed over her like a wave, drowning out the light—if her daughter couldn’t see God at work here, nothing could ever convince her, and when the Lord called Mandy home to sit at His side, she wouldn’t see her daughter again. Anything she said now would risk being said in anger or would mirror her sadness, and either way it would just make a mess of things. There was no point in arguing—she could only hope Cassy changed her ways of thinking before she stood before Him for Judgment. “Very well, Cassy. I love you, honey, and I hope you change your mind. Never mind God, letting Choony stay is the right and the practical thing to do. You know it or you wouldn’t be saying such terrible things. I’ll see you at lunch, sweetie. I’ve said what I came to say.”

Mandy turned on her heels and walked out of the house, head held high and desperately struggling with her feelings, her anger, her disappointment, her grief. And another thing… Choony was clearly brought to the Clan by God’s will, no other explanation for it would do. Too much luck wasn’t luck at all, it was divine intervention. What would making Choony leave do to God’s plans for them all? Surely, He couldn’t be thwarted by the actions of one frightened woman? But in Mandy’s heart, she feared. The Bible was full of stories about what happens when you turn your back on His wishes. Mandy prayed for His forgiveness, and for strength.

* * *

After lunch, Frank found Cassy talking with Michael about the various defensive positions Michael had directed Dean in building. As Frank approached, he heard Michael saying something about how they hadn’t had time to put grenade sumps into the fighting pits, whatever a sump was. When Michael spotted Frank approaching, he nudged Cassy, and the two of them waved. Frank waved back and stopped a few feet from them.

“Cassy, can I get a word with you if you have the time?” Frank asked.

Cassy looked to Michael, who nodded and then walked back toward where Dean was still directing the construction of more foxholes on the other side of the farm. Turning back to Frank, she wore a warm smile as she said, “Sure, Frank. What can I do for you?”

Frank couldn’t help but grin back. Cassy always seemed to have a smile for him no matter what else was going on. It was a good thing his wife trusted him so much and that he loved her so deeply. He’d never violate Mary’s trust, but he did relish Cassy’s smiles, maybe too much.

Frank said, “Well of course it’s about how you’ve been leading us lately. You’re a good leader, or I wouldn’t have stepped down, but let’s be direct: People think you’re under too much pressure, and it’s affecting your leadership. So, if I were the leader, I’d—”

“But you’re not the leader, Frank. If you want the job, though, it’s yours. I don’t want it, never wanted it, and you can have it.” Cassy’s grin morphed into an unreadable mask.

Damn, this was not how the conversation was supposed to go. Why’d she think he wanted the job? He was her advisor, dammit. Or was she just saying to lead, follow, or get out of the way?

“Not a chance,” Frank said. “I’m still on Team Cassy. You’re our best bet for survival, and you visualize and bring together all these little sub-plans better than anyone I’ve ever met. You get the best out of people in a way that I can’t, and you make it look easy.”

“Then please don’t bring up what you’d do if you led us, Frank. Just tell me what you think without stepping all over me. My confidence is pretty low right now, so support me—even if that means telling me what I don’t want to hear—but don’t let me ever think you might step up to the plate, or I’ll hand it over and run whether or not you want the job.”

Frank forced a smile. “Alright, Cassy, fair enough. So, people are talking about this Choony thing and the scene with Dean Jepson. They understand the thing with Dean because they agree with you that no preps is worse than some. But Dean is just a bit too much of a perfectionist. That’s a craftsman thing, and I think he’s a genius, but it can get to the point where he doesn’t quite think like everyone else. So ignore that, and look at the big picture.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Cassy said. “I delegated that situation to Michael, and now Dean’s on board. Sort of. At least the work is getting done, finally. Michael took the choice away from Dean, which I couldn’t do because Dean has a hard time listening to women, and because he and I have a history. I didn’t hear a squawk out of Dean when Michael stepped in. I suppose it’s a guy thing. He’s getting used to the notion, but it might take him some time to get used to being led by a woman. Kinda ticks me off, but he is who he is.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Frank said, nodding. “So, Choony… No one agrees with you there.”

Frank watched as Cassy frowned, looked down, and let out a long sigh. Finally, she said, “I know that. I lost my head. He sort of cornered me by challenging me in public, during a crisis, instead of coming to me in private. But when I cooled off some, I remembered
this isn’t a dictatorship
. I was treating it like one because I’m afraid for my kids, and I’ll do anything to keep them safe. It’s the mama bear in me, I guess. But I forgot that everyone else with kids feels the same. People without kids probably don’t want to die, either,” she chuckled, shaking her head at herself. “So I asked you to help.”

A light went off in Frank’s head. “So that’s why you had me go talk to him. A bit of pride, a bit of practicality. Well, that’s the real strength of your leadership—your ability to let go of
you
to focus on
the Clan
. Turned out to be a good call. He’s actually quite reasonable. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that man get angry. I think he just processes his emotions faster than the rest of us can and moves on. He never seems to dwell on the past. Anyway, he wants to stay if you’re willing to keep him. He likes it here and likes the people, including you. And his medical and chemical knowledge is something we couldn’t replace anytime soon.”

“I hoped he’d be willing to stay, if we let him,” Cassy said. “The problem is how to bring him back in without totally losing whatever perceived authority I have. Authority from the people, not Peter-like rulership. I’m not Peter, and we’re the Clan, not White Stag Farms.”

Frank nodded. There it was—this was the woman they’d put in charge. Frank spared a moment just to feel glad to have Cassy back. The real Cassy. Frank wondered if he’d have been as good at leading them as she had been, but in his heart, he didn’t believe he’d come close. Stepping down in her favor when they got here had been the right choice after all.

Snapping back into the moment, he looked Cassy in the eyes and said, “I only see one way. You have to ask him to come back specifically to perform a dangerous mission. Something we
have
to get done if we’re to win that doesn’t require a gun. By asking, you show the Clan humility and pragmatism. They need to see that after what happened. And you leave it on his shoulders whether to return afterwards, so you aren’t being a dictator with his future. He has the choice. That way, you restore the authority people have given you. You restore it just by not abusing it.”

Cassy pursed her lips. “How very ‘King Solomon and the Baby’ of you. I like Choony, and while I think I know the mission you have in mind, I’d planned on asking for a volunteer. I don’t think I can just order someone to take a mission I wouldn’t want to try to do myself. Not if I want to sleep at night.”

“Yeah, but this is your way out,” Frank said. “You aren’t forcing him to take the mission, you know. He has a choice. But if he does it, that frees up someone who
will
shoot a gun, kill people, defend the Clan. We need every shooter we can get, and we need them
shooting
. This is just the best, most practical solution with Choony. You don’t have to do it that way, of course, but if you don’t then you squander two people—Choony and the volunteer—and I’ll damn sure be disappointed in you, Cassy. Either way I’ll support you because we need unity right now. We’d still need you to lead, but I’m hoping you’ll do the smart thing. It’s the right thing, too.”

Frank studied Cassy’s face with an inward grin and saw that his blunt speech had the desired effect. She was going to make the right choice and invite Choony back, even if her feelings about Frank were the deciding factor. He doubted she even realized the feelings he thought he saw, and he wasn’t going to point it out. Ever. Like Mandy told him often enough, Frank was a better leader when he wasn’t the one openly leading. It suited him.