Dark Nights (20 page)

She pressed her lips together tightly.

“Do you think I will not listen to you? I have no knowledge of the way of families. Or friends. Or even the joys of using one’s skills in the way you climb a cliff. I want to learn all of those things. I will rely heavily on your expertise so that I fit smoothly into your world. I might know the ways of the vampire and how to shift, I might have seen history, but the things that are important to life—a wife, a child, family—those things I have no knowledge of. I hear your laughter, feel the closeness of your brother and sister and I want to feel that with them as well. I want Jubal to be my brother and Gabrielle to be my sister. I would like for your parents to think of me as a son. Only you can give me those things. Only you can teach me the right way to be part of something I have never had the chance to experience.”

Her eyelashes fanned her high cheekbones. Her tongue darted out and touched her lower lip. His heart shifted in his body. She had all the power and didn’t even realize it, believing he would grow bored with her.

“I observed history, I didn’t feel it. I saw the foreign lands and recognized they could be beautiful, but I saw them in shades of gray, without emotion, without color or feeling. I have facts at my disposal, millions of them, and I know war, but little else. I need you, Joie.”

Joie swallowed hard. He was breaking her heart. The stark, raw admission was brutally honest. She could feel his need and hunger beating at her. She had chosen service as her profession because it was inherent in her character to respond to the need of others, to protect them from harm. This man who seemed so completely invincible was exposing his deepest vulnerability to her.

More than that, she felt as if her entire life she’d been apart from others, standing to one side and not quite fitting in. With Traian, a being far removed from her understanding, another species, in his company, she felt as if she belonged. If she did this, if she stepped off the cliff and let herself fall with him, she knew she’d go all the way, heart and soul. There would be no turning back for her. He would be part of her,
inside
so deep she would never be able to get him out, even if he walked away from her.

She took a breath, her gaze moving over his face. Wonder. Magic. The combination was stamped into every angle and plane, the set of his shoulders and the defined muscle of his chest. It wasn’t just his physical beauty, the sheer athleticism of him, the power he exuded; the draw was in the single-minded focus he turned on her when he looked at her—as if she was the most beautiful, intriguing woman in the world. The
only
woman. And he needed her desperately.

He just sat across from her looking at her. Waiting. She moistened her lips. She had to get some distance to get some perspective. “I need to take a shower.”

“You do not have to. I can make you feel refreshed.”

Joie hastily shook her head. “I enjoy my showers. I like the feel of the water on my skin.”

“Is that an invitation?”

Was it? Had she chosen a shower because the thought of him naked was firmly entrenched in her mind? She didn’t know, but the erotic images playing through her mind faintly shocked her.

Joie stared at him, at the hard angles and planes of his face. At his dark, fathomless eyes. If the attraction between them was merely physical, Joie would have thrown him on the bed and ripped his clothes off right there. But he stirred unfamiliar feelings in her—deep and frightening feelings for a woman in charge of her own destiny. She was terribly susceptible and the plunge was going to be very long, the fall very hard, but it was beginning to look as if she wouldn’t be able to break his mesmerizing spell on her. She was certain she should try a little harder but . . .

With indecision written so clearly on Joie’s face, Traian felt as if his world was balanced on the point of a needle. He was afraid to move. Afraid to speak. He knew their joining was inevitable. He would have her. She was his. She belonged to him. But he still wanted it to be her decision. He wanted her to want him in the same way he wanted her.

“It’s a small shower stall,” she said in low, hesitant tone, still giving herself room to run.

“I have never taken a shower. I have never needed to, nor would I have been able to enjoy the sensation of water on my skin. I would very much like to do so with you.”

She put both trembling hands behind her back and he knew that she was afraid of the next step, but she took it because she was nothing if not courageous. She lifted her chin and smiled at him in invitation.

He didn’t wait for her to come to him; he took the few steps separating them and swept her up into his arms, cradling her close to his chest.

Joie smiled up at him. “This is becoming a habit.”

“I like keeping you close to me,” he admitted. He carried her through to the small bathroom and set her on her feet.

His hands dropped to the buttons of her shirt, his gaze holding hers captive. She moistened her lips and her heart sped up. He smiled at her in reassurance.

“You are very safe with me, Joie. Just breathe.”

He slipped each button out of the tiny hole, allowing her shirt to open all the way before he glanced down at the treasure he’d so carefully unwrapped. His breath caught in his throat. “You are so beautiful, Joie.” His hand skimmed down from her breast to her belly, down further to strip the panties from her.

He had no idea he would feel like this, emotion welling up so deep and strong, the intensity shaking him. It took a moment to remove his own clothes and step into the confines of the shower with her.

Steam fogged the clear glass of the shower door, and rose up to curl around the two bodies standing beneath the spray of hot water. Joie allowed the water to pour over her, drenching her hair and skin, washing the sleep from her body. The shower stall was small, forcing her into close contact with Traian. She thought she was completely prepared for the sight of his very masculine body, but found she could barely breathe. He was all defined muscle, his chest wide, his hips narrow. She dared not look below his waist. The man had no modesty when it came to his desires. And he desired her.

“Are you going to keep scooting back every time I get close to you?”

There was a hint of amusement in his voice. His tone was like velvet, sliding over her exposed skin, setting every nerve ending on alert.

Her mouth went dry. “It’s the only safe thing to do. Before I actually met you, I thought about having you all to myself, alone and naked and . . .” She trailed off a little desperately. The erotic fantasies were wonderful when he wasn’t standing in front of her, larger than life and still nearly a stranger. “Now I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do with you.”

“I distinctly remember you telling me you had lovers lined up,” he said, his hands framing her face, his thumb tilting her chin so that her gaze met his. “What were you planning to do with all of them?”

There was a little bite to his voice and his white teeth came together with a definite snap.

Joie tried not to let the sudden smile blossoming inside her show on her face. “You weren’t real. I could say anything.” It was impossible to look away from the dark intensity of his eyes, the hunger there. His emotions were as naked as his body. “I keep thinking this is happening too fast. I don’t really know you. How did you end up in my room? And how did I end up standing naked in the shower with you? I’m a private person, and not very trusting, yet here you are.”

It was all he could do not to kiss her. Traian knew he could easily sweep aside her every objection. The attraction between them was mutual. Electric. All-consuming. She would respond to him with the same fierce need he had for her if he kissed her, but she needed to come to terms with her decision.

“Joie.” He whispered her name, an ache in his voice. “If you want to talk about this, I suggest we get out of the shower and put the width of the room between us. We have been in each other’s minds for weeks. You know me. You know more about me than most people could learn in a lifetime. You know my character and what I stand for. And you know this is no passing fling. This is forever.”

“Forever.” She tasted the word. “That’s a long time, Traian.”

The water poured over her body and steam encircled them as she leaned into him so that the tips of her breasts pressed against his chest. She felt him hard and thick and heavy with a man’s need, a temptation and a pleading.

“Forever is quite tedious and endless without you. With you, forever is gone in moments.”

“You’re asking me to make a decision, the enormity of which I can’t possibly comprehend. I love my family, Traian. I really love them and would never be happy without them. I don’t really know what you’re asking of me, but I think it’s far more than I’ve comprehended.”

He bent his head to hers. Close. His mouth was inches from hers. “I know what I am asking of you, and I know you have reservations about your family. I do not want to go back to an existence without you. Spend your life with me, Joie,” Traian tempted softly. He feathered kisses down her face, over the corners of her mouth. His teeth tugged at her bottom lip. “Spend several lifetimes with me, an eternity. Be with me. Say you want me that much. Let me be part of your family.”

She looked up at him, at the intensity burning in his eyes. His emotion was so strong, so hot, it branded her, seared her all the way to her heart. Joie felt the pull of his need, of his loneliness. He was a dangerous predator, not quite human. Powerful beyond anything she had ever dreamed of. And sexy. Heart-stoppingly sexy. Her arms, of their own volition, were already sliding around his neck, her body molding itself to his.

“Can we be together, Traian? How? Tell me how.” Because she had been alone in the midst of a family she loved. Always surrounded by people, friends, family, she was always apart. She never knew why until she heard his voice. Something had been missing from deep inside her, some essential part of her.

Somehow, with Traian, she felt safe and at peace. She didn’t know why, she was a very independent and self-reliant person, but something in her kept demanding she search all four corners of the Earth, the highest peaks, the deepest caves,
everywhere
, although she had no idea what she was searching for until she’d found . . . him. Traian. He held the missing piece of her.

“It doesn’t make sense when you sleep beneath the ground and I can’t.”

“You can become as I am. You would still be Joie, still part of your family, but with the gifts and the vulnerabilities of my race. Or I can age as you age. My strength will weaken and I will be more vulnerable to our enemies. It is your happiness that counts, Joie. I want to be in your life always.”

Butterfly wings fluttered in the pit of her stomach. She felt she was on the edge of a great precipice. Joie tried to pull back before it was too late. The enormity of what he was offering was both frightening and exhilarating. He swamped her with his loneliness, with the intensity of her own feelings, so completely foreign to her. She tried to take refuge in humor. “I don’t even know if you’re good in bed.”

“I want you to acknowledge to me that you know what I am offering you.” His mouth skimmed over her face, tracing her high cheekbones, her chin, moved lower to find the pulse beating frantically in her neck. His warm breath bathed her in heat, a seductive temptation every bit as powerful as the feel of his body heavy with need.

She was in his mind, saw the choices clearly. His teeth sinking deep, making her his, bringing her into his world. Or Traian staying with her as if he were human, aging along with her, his great strength slowly fading, always vulnerable to enemies. Two choices. Two worlds. Only a heartbeat of time to choose.

She knew she needed to answer him not because he demanded it, but because the intensity of her feeling for him was so strong, she needed to settle her future in her own mind. His teeth nipped her skin, his tongue swirled over the tiny ache. She felt the throb in her deepest core, the clenching of muscles aching for relief.

“Joie.” He breathed her name again. “I will love you to the end of your days.”

The water poured over her, heightening her sensitivity to pleasure. She heard the honesty in his voice. The purity. Joie tilted her head to the side to give him better access, closed her eyes in anticipation. She was certain. She might not understand why it was right, but she had never been surer.

His teeth sank deep. White-hot pain pierced her body, giving way instantly to sheer ecstasy. Lightning flashed in her bloodstream, hot whips of pleasure tormenting her. Heat welled up, and threatened to consume her. She held him to her, closer, moving her body enticingly. It should have frightened her, the way he fed on her, devoured her with a hungry, craving lust more sexual than anything else.

Traian traced every line, and curve, every hollow, etching her body in his memory, wanting the moment to last several lifetimes. The rush hit him hard, a sexual hunger mixed with a dark craving nearly uncontrollable. For centuries his appetite had been insatiable, a terrible hunger that could never be assuaged, but now her blood satisfied his inhuman need. But his intense sensual need remained unappeased. He was hard and hot and heavy with desire. His tongue swept across the pinpricks on her skin. His lips traveled down to her breast. Ancient words beat in his head, words of a ritual imprinted on him before his birth. Once said, there was no going back. Traian and Joie would be bound for eternity.

The small sound escaping from her throat only urged him on. His tongue teased and danced over her taut nipple, caught the droplets of water as they beaded on her skin. “You are my lifemate. I claim you as my lifemate. I belong to you. I offer my life for you.” His hands shaped her body, slid up to cup her breasts.

His face was dark, his gaze intent as he looked into her eyes. Joie felt a strange wrenching in the vicinity of her heart. A part of her tasted fear, wanted to cry out for him to stop, but another part embraced his words, understood the importance of each promise uttered. Her hands slipped over his chest, and she leaned forward to taste his skin, her teeth nipping his chest, directly over his heart. She had never been a biter, but something urged her to sink her teeth deep, to connect them together. She swirled her tongue over his heavy muscles.