Dark Secret (52 page)

Rafael stood there looking fit, much more fit than he had a right to, but he bore the signs of his brush with death. His beautiful dark hair, falling halfway down his back, was streaked gray on his left side. His face was etched with new lines and there was a weariness in his eyes that had never been there before. He touched the scar on his chest from Kirja’s attack. “Carpathians are not supposed to scar.”

She drank him in. Tears burned behind her eyelids and she had to swallow several times to get rid of the lump in her throat. “Maybe I didn’t heal you in the right way.” She couldn’t stop looking at him. He was so solid. So
alive.
“You look perfect to me.” She didn’t mean to blurt it out. He already wore confidence like a second skin.

“You saved my life.”

Colby nodded. “Someone had to do it. You were a mess.”

His black eyes regarded her without blinking. She’d forgotten how completely he could focus on her. Her legs turned rubbery, but she stood her ground, trying to look nonchalant. “Are you sure you should be up?” Her gaze drifted down his body and the air seemed to leave her lungs in a long rush. He was definitely up and seemingly fit.

A slow, sensual grin curved his mouth. His eyes darkened with a blatant sexuality. “Oh, I am very sure.”

A blush stole up her neck to her face. “You know what I mean. You nearly died.” There was a hint of accusation in her voice.

“I promise to be far more careful in the future,
querida.
” He couldn’t get enough of looking at her. He took a step toward her and watched with narrowed gaze as she took a small step back.

“I don’t think you can ever do something like that again. You scared me.”

“I am sorry.” His gaze met hers steadily. “For a lot of things. It was wrong of me to convert you without your permission. You were working your way to me and I grew impatient. I should have had more faith.”

“Yes, you should have. I will never be happy without a full
partnership, Rafael. I’m not the sort of woman to tolerate you arbitrarily making decisions for me.” She wanted to be stern. It was necessary to get her point across, but he looked so alive, when he’d been so close to death for so many days. She had seen the battle in his mind and it had been horrendous.

“I am very aware of what kind of woman you are, Colby,” he agreed quietly. “I will do my best to try to work on learning to be a partner.”

“Well, work on it fast.” She had so much more to say on the subject, but she couldn’t think of what it was at that precise moment. All she could think about was touching the new lines in his face. His scar. She wanted to smooth the frown from his mouth and erase the worry from his eyes.

“I have to explain about Paul,” he said, determined to make certain she understood why he’d taken the boy from her. “I had no choice but to send him away. Kirja was unlike any vampire we have ever encountered. He was a childhood friend. A close friend who knew the way I hunt. He was a powerful Carpathian and as a vampire he had become tremendously powerful. If we did not succeed in destroying him, sooner or later he would have succeeded in killing Paul, or using him to harm you or Ginny. I knew I was risking you not understanding, but I honestly felt it was the right thing to do, the only thing to do.”

“I know.” She had seen the struggle in his mind. In all the time she had spent healing him, she had merged often with him to keep him alive and she’d seen his strengths and weaknesses. She had seen his memories and regrets, the way he wanted to do what was right and best for her even if it meant risking their relationship. His actions were motivated by love, not by a sense of power. He seemed to have trouble expressing his love in ways other than sexual. Colby was certain she could spend the next few centuries helping him learn to communicate better.

“Colby, about the ranch. I want you to come to Brazil. We can hold the ranch in trust for Paul and Ginny, until they are old enough to decide where they wish to live. I would like them to know Armando’s family. My family. And I would like for my family to know all of you. But if you cannot be happy there, we will come back and live together here.”

It was a tremendous concession. A gift he was handing her. He wanted to go home. He
needed
to go home. His heart and soul yearned for the rain forest, for his ranch, for the things familiar to him. For his family, both human and Carpathian. But she was in his mind and she felt his sincerity. He would make every effort to do what made her happy. And Colby found it wasn’t the ranch that mattered. It belonged to Paul and Ginny. She was more than happy to relinquish her share. If her brother and sister loved Brazil, she would love it. And if they needed to return to the ranch, she would return with them until they were of an age when they could cope on their own. But always, her choice was Rafael. She smiled at him. “I hope you have horses. I need to be around horses.”

“We have many horses,
meu amor.
”

She tilted her head. “Are you absolutely certain you’re feeling healthy and your heart is strong?” Her voice dropped to a sultry invitation.

“I am healed.”

Colby looked up at the cascading waterfall pouring over the cliff above them. It provided a shimmering backdrop to the secluded grotto where the hot springs bubbled up, separated from the stream by well-worn rocks. Fern and moss covered the ground like an emerald carpet. She took a breath, allowing herself the luxury of taking in the beauty of the place, appreciating the richness of the soil that had helped to heal Rafael.

He came up behind her, his hands sliding down her back to her hip, pressing her against his larger frame. Colby reached up to encircle his neck, pulling his dark head down to hers. She had to lean back, to seek the excitement of his mouth. “Make love to me, Rafael,” she whispered against his lips. “I nearly lost you and I need to feel you loving me.” She turned in his arms, needing the comfort of his embrace. Needing to feel the corded steel running through his body.

“I always make love to you,
meu amor.
” He stepped back, the intensity and hunger in his gaze mesmerizing her. “With every breath I take, I make love to you.” With gentle, sure fingers, he unbuttoned her blouse, his knuckles brushing her full breasts. “You always have far too many clothes on. I thought we agreed you would just run around naked for me.” He
pushed the blouse from her shoulders, hands lingering on soft swelling flesh, enjoying the pleasure of simply looking at her breasts before reaching up to remove the clips from her hair. He released the silky mass, his fingers running through it until the last braid was free to tumble unrestrained about her body.

He crushed the strands of hair in his fist, brought them to his mouth, his eyes never leaving hers. Watching her. Hungry for her. She had never once given herself fully to him, but he could see love in her gaze, in the flush of heat spreading under her skin. As always, wildness rose in him, but he fought desperately to tamp it down, sensing her mood, her need for not only a physical demonstration of love, but comfort as well. She had been so courageous. And she had chosen him. He kissed her again, peace settling into his bones, contentment in his soul. For the first time he lost the driven feeling, the need to conquer and take.

Rafael eased her jeans from her hips, his hands moving over her thighs until Colby felt weak with longing. She watched him, the raw desire in his eyes as he traced the contours of her body with evident enjoyment. His body crowded hers until she stepped back into the hot spring.

Colby slid into the water. Warm bubbles like champagne surrounded her, enveloped her body like a living blanket. The water supported her, moving up her flesh as she sank deeper into the mineral pool. The sense of weightlessness in the water, her hair floating like seaweed, and the backdrop of the waterfall made her feel sensual, a water siren luring her mate.

She watched Rafael as he waded to her, slowly reaching out to pull her wet body against his. His fingers curled around the nape of her neck, dragging her head to his so he could take possession of her mouth. Colby brought up one leg and curved it around his waist, sliding her body up and down his thigh to relieve the building pressure. The bubbles felt like tongues licking at her sensitized flesh. No matter how much she wanted to go slow, to feel his hands moving over her with tenderness, something in her responded to him with a wild, frantic desire that built fast and hot.

“
Meu amor,
you have no idea what you do for me. I am a strong man,
pequena,
a powerful man, but one look at you and I melt inside. My body not only craves the haven of yours, but
my heart is full and there is light pouring into me. I had no idea what that meant even when it was discussed in my youth. All male Carpathians dream of having a lifemate—it is our motivation and drive to continue in the endless, barren years—but until I actually met you, I could not conceive of how I would feel. I cannot find the words to tell you what you mean to me.”

Colby wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers caressing the white streak in his silken hair. “You do just fine, Rafael.”

“You deserve better. A poet. A man of beautiful words that could express what is in my heart.”

“I no longer need the words, Rafael. I opened my mind to yours and I
feel
the love you have for me. I know the words in your heart because I can see them there.” She kissed him, a long, slow kiss of seduction. “I want you. I want to touch you, to hold you, to feel you inside of me. I need to feel you alive and wrapped around me.”

His mouth left hers to find her neck. “You are so hot, Colby. You always are wet and hot and needing me. I get so damned hard just feeling you want me.”

She closed her eyes when his teeth scraped over her skin. She ground her body harder against his, riding his thigh. “We happen to be in a hot spring. I’m hot and wet for a good reason.”

His teeth bit harder in a small, mock punishment. “I am the reason you are hot and wet and you know it.”

Her hands moved possessively over his chest, fingertips lingering along the scar. “You’re healed all right—you’re back to your arrogance.”

His lips teased her shoulder, sent a shiver down her spine as he lifted her and carried her from the water to a flat boulder. “I am most certain I am not unduly arrogant. I love the way you want me, Colby. Do you have any idea what that does to a man, knowing a woman looks at him and burns for him the way you do for me?” His teeth teased her pulse, tongue flicking over the sensitive spot.

“We’ve never had the problem of me not wanting you,” she confessed, leaning in to kiss his throat, to trail kisses to the scar over his heart. Her hands moved over him, her fingertips tracing patterns over his chest and down his belly.

He lifted his head, closing his eyes, savoring her in his arms, her body entwined around his and her mouth soothing over the wound on his chest. His heart beat there because of Colby. The rhythm was strong and steady and if there was still pain with each beat it was mild, easily masked, and worth every moment with her.

“No, just with you loving me.” Just saying the words woke a fierce violence in him. It roared through his veins until his arms tightened, forming a steel cage around her. With an effort, he fought back the need for domination. His mouth whispered over her skin, feather light; he teased at her bottom lip, dipped lower to find her breasts. He felt greedy lust rising sharp and terrible, but he refused to give in to it.

She moved with restless abandon, her skin rubbing against his, her hands claiming him, roving over his body possessively. It only added to the hot need building in him. Colby bit lightly at his shoulder, ran her tongue to his nipple, flicking it gently. She could read his fight to give her tenderness and it meant everything to her that he would try to hold on to his self-control.

His black eyes drifted over her face. Moody. Brooding. Starkly sensual. Her heart pounded in anticipation. Watching her closely, he leaned into her, his tongue flicking her breast, sliding to her navel as he dropped down in front of her, his hands tightening on her thighs. Already she was drowning in heat, in pleasure. His tongue lapped slowly over her pulsing sheath. She jerked, a gasp escaping as her womb contracted and every nerve ending went into hypersensitivity.

Colby had been so focused on his injuries, on saving his life and holding him to her, she still hadn’t quite relinquished her link to his mind. She felt the fire pouring through his veins and the roar of need in his head. Lust mixed with love until the two emotions were intertwined. It fed her own desires, a well of pleasure bursting through her as his tongue stabbed deep and teased, flicking and sucking until she was writhing with her need, nearly delirious and pleading with him. He brought her to the brink of release over and over and pulled back until her hands fisted in his hair and she cried out his name.

“Rafael. I can’t stand it. It’s too much.” She couldn’t catch
her breath, couldn’t find the release she so desperately needed. “I can’t take any more.”

“You can take it. I am going out of my mind with wanting you. You have to feel the same way.”

“I do. I am. Hurry!” she pleaded urgently.

Rafael kissed his way up her stomach, nipped at the underside of her breast while she frantically tried to wrap her legs around his waist and draw him close to her. He buried his face against her throat. “I love you, Colby. I will love you forever with everything that I am.”

His voice was pure honesty, the sound curling around her heart until she felt herself melt. Deeply embedded in his mind, she also sensed his uncertainty. He didn’t know for certain that she loved him completely, with every fiber of her being. She had held herself apart from him for so long, he didn’t trust his reading of her thoughts. He believed he was seeing and feeling what he wanted so desperately to see.

“Rafael.” She whispered his name softly, forced him to look up into her eyes. She held his gaze, wanting him to see her expression, the terrible emotion that she had held back for so long. “I’ve been afraid all this time of what I felt for you. It terrified me because I thought if I gave you my heart, there would be nothing left of me, that I would lose myself entirely. I thought that you wanted to own me, to control me, and I could never live like that. But when you nearly died, I realized it was too late. I love you, Rafael. I love you so much I think I might die without you.”