Dark Secrets (6 page)

“
She did?” He turned
and looked forward as we started walking, his natural cool
spreading calm out over my awkwardness.

I hugged my books
tightly to my chest to stop from flinging my arms around his waist.
“Yeah, she said you had a tendency to snatch up lost
lambs.”

“
Did she tell you why
she thought that?” He stopped then, and took my math book from me,
tucking it under his arm—beside his books.

I watched it for a
second. “Not really. I came to my own conclusions,
though.”

“
And what might they
be?”

“
Well, it’s not the
lost lamb thing you’re into. It’s fresh meat.”

“
Fresh meat?” He
laughed, looking away.

“
Yeah. You know? A
new toy—something different to play with than all the old
ones.”

David stayed quiet for
a moment, and I watched the other students file past us in a hurry.
“You don’t think of me like that, do you? That I am only talking to
you because I want something more interesting to play
with?”

I shook my head. “I
did. But, I actually think you might be a very genuinely nice guy.”
I tried not to let the surprise seep out in my tone; it did anyway.
“I mean, I’ve
never
had a guy carry my books.”

We both looked at the
books.

“
I’m not sure I’ve
ever carried a girl’s books. Not at this school,
anyway.”

“
Oh, you didn’t grow
up here?”

He swallowed.
“No.”

“
Are you new,
too?”

He turned and started
walking. “No.”

Hm, king of
elaboration.
“Have you...been here
long?”

“
No.”

I ran my tongue along
the ridges of my back tooth. “Longer than a year—less than a
year?”

“
About two years.
Almost.”

“
And, um...so, you
don’t really talk to many of the girls?”

“
No.”

“
Because you don't
really like them.”

“
Correct.”

“
Why?” We came to a
stop, and David scratched his ear as I leaned on the wall. “Tell me
why?”

“
Why do you ask so
many questions?”

“
Because you evade so
many answers.”

His lip tugged on one
corner, his eyes smiling. “Yes, I suppose I do.”

“
So...” I twirled my
hair around my finger, vaguely noticing a few girls giggle as they
rushed in through the door beside us. “Are you going to tell me why
don’t you like the girls here?”

“
Guess I’ve just
never really been interested in any of them, until—”

I smiled at the way he
smiled. “Until what?”

He stepped into me,
showing no respect for my territorial bubble; the length of his
entire body hovered barely a centimetre away from mine, forcing my
gaze to roll upward just to meet his lovely green eyes. “Until
today.”

My mouth opened, but
only a soft breath came from the very back of my throat, stopping
on the sweet scent of his vibrant, chocolaty cologne. All I could
do was squeak.

David nodded to the
door beside us. “Did you need to go?”

Go
? I forced myself to look right.

“
The bathroom,” he
added.

“
Ur, yes, I kinda
did.” Oh, God, awkward meter off the Richter scale.

“
I’ll mind your
bag.”

“
Okay, I’ll just be a
sec.” I passed it to David, then pushed the door open to a
nose-burning bleach smell, mingling with other rancid scents in the
heat of the only non-air-conditioned room in this school. And as
the door shut quietly behind me, a voice rose above the putrid
smell with familiar content.

“
The girl in the
yellow dress?” it said.

I stopped dead,
remaining in the concealment of the dividing wall.

“
Yeah, the new girl,”
another replied.

I cringed; this was
that moment where you decide to either walk in there and act like
you didn’t hear, or stop and listen, hoping they wouldn't discover
you. I should’ve read up on this in the
How to be a New Student Without Looking Like an Idiot
guide.

“
What’d you think of
her?” she continued.

“
Well, she’s pretty,
I guess.”

“
You think
so?”

“
Yeah, I mean, did
you see how blue her eyes are? Like, so wasted on her face,
hey?”

Ouch
.

“
Yeah, totally. You
want some?” the other girl said.

“
What scent is
it?”

“
Sunlight
Breeze.”

“
Yeah.” A long hiss
of a spray can sounded before the sharp, choking fumes of deodorant
filled the tiny bathroom. I covered my mouth, silently coughing
into my hand.

“
And did you hear? She’s already got her
claws
into David
Knight?”

My heart jumped to
alert.
Claws
?

“
Yep. Typical. He
doesn’t like her, I heard. He’s just interested in her because
she’s wearing a dress and it’s, like, easy access.”

My eyes all but jumped
out of my head, but as soon as the echo of her voice retreated, I
felt my heart break a little.

“
That must be it, I mean, come on. He’s
way
out of her
league.”

“
Yeah, I don’t know
what she thinks he wants with her. Did you see her outside just
now?”

“
Yeah, oh my God!”
The other laughed. “She has so never had a boyfriend
before.”

“
Yeah. Probably still
a virgin.”

I swallowed, becoming
a little smaller.

“
Mm. I give it a week
before he loses interest.”

“
A week? That’s
generous. Maria said the girl has, like, scars on her
face.”

My breath froze
halfway through a gasp, the walls closing in around me.

“
True? No way? That’s
so gross. I wonder if he’s noticed them.”

“
How can he not?
Apparently they’re—” A face appeared right in front of mine and
everyone took a breath.

While I stood frozen
in humiliated stillness, a blonde girl just looked me over—focusing
on my scars, then threw her hair back and opened the door, dragging
a dark-haired girl behind her. I hid myself in the corner as bright
light from the corridor filled the room, disappearing with their
sudden high-pitched cackles.

A layer of my soul
slowly peeled away like an unfurling blossom, petal by petal. I
blinked the tears free, unable to move or think or breathe,
focusing only on the impression of my nails digging into my
palms.

They were right. David
was probably showing interest in me as a joke or a bet he made with
a friend. I was stupid to think he hadn't noticed my
scars.

I touched my jaw, my
fingertips shaking, and as my desperate urge to go to the bathroom
faded, a longing to go home came in its place, stepping aside for
the rolling in my stomach; I lopped a hand across my gut and ran
for the toilet.

Even as I rinsed my
face and washed my mouth out, the voice of that girl played in my
head:
“Out of her league; A week before he
loses interest.”

Somehow, the idea that
David would be grossed-out by me had taken over my fear of being
new.

In the mirror, my face
looked pale and washed-out, which made the scars look red and
menacing, worse than they did this morning. I leaned closer and
poked about my face, moving my skin to get a good look at them;
tiny little dots covering one side of my neck and along my jaw,
like a fine sprinkling of nuts on a sundae. The weird thing was, I
hardly ever noticed them; it was like my mind subconsciously
blacked them out. But I knew they were there, and I knew everyone
else could see them. Including David.

The real world sucked
so much more than my mum said it would.

I splashed another
handful of water over my face and grabbed a few sheets of paper
towel, pausing when the door opened, but no one came in.

“
Ara?”

I froze, instantly
recognising David's voice. “Uh, yeah?”

“
Are you...are you
okay?”

I laughed. He probably
thought I fell in. “Um. I’ll be out in a sec.”

“
Ara?” he said, his
tone a little flat. “Answer me, or I’m coming in. Are you
okay?”

“
I...I’m good.” But I
wasn’t, and the mirror too clearly reflected the sadness in my
eyes. The mask I’d become so good at holding in place hadn’t
slipped, but cracked completely, and the self-pity I’d battled so
hard against suddenly won the war. But I took a deep breath and
looked my reflection square in the eye. “Every ache is step toward
redemption,” I told myself. I still didn’t believe it, though.
Nothing could undo what had been done and I knew, eventually, David
would find out, and he’d hate me too.

But not
today.

I straightened my
shoulders. Not yet. I just wanted a little more time with
him.
Give me that
, I said to myself, hoping it’d reach some magic fairy
godmother.
Just him. Just for today. And
I’ll never ask for anything else, ever again.

The summer sun
streamed into the corridor, and as I stepped into the light, drew a
deep breath and looked sadly at the boy leaning over the railing on
the other side. The shadows highlighted the contours of his
shoulder blades and the arch of his spine. If I knew him better, I
could slowly trace my finger down his back, feeling how solid and
real he was under my touch. Except, right now, I wanted nothing
more than to run over and tell him everything those girls just
said. Only problem was that, in the real world, he wouldn't care if
my feelings were hurt; he’d probably just freak out and dust me off
like a cobweb.

He turned around and
smiled at me with those kind, warm eyes, and the pain I just forced
down rose to the surface again. I flattened the front of my dress,
blinking rapidly until, as the tears receded, David’s arm landed
around my shoulder. “Are you okay?”

“
Mm-hm.” I
nodded.

He stood back up
slowly, his jaw stiff, and looked at the two girls from the
bathroom—now whispering to each other by an open locker in the
corner. “You’re not okay. I can tell.”

“
Perils of being
new.” I flashed a grin.

“
Or perils of
gossip,” he said, checking over his shoulder before looking back at
me. “Do you mind if I teach those girls a lesson?”

“
Why would you want
to do that?”

“
Just go with it,
okay?” he whispered in my ear, so close that his breath tickled my
cheek. “Are they watching?”

I cast my eyes to
them; they stared on with arched brows, lips curled in disgust.
“Yeah. They’re watching.”

“
You
ready?”

“
Ready for
what?”

“
This.” He gently
wrapped his fingers around my arms and walked me backward, past our
bags and the stack of books, until my spine pressed against the
cold wall.

“
What are you doing,
David?”

“
Giving them
something to talk about.” He propped his forearm on the wall,
bending at the knees, hiding us behind his shoulder as his face
came in line with mine. And my eyes stayed on him, locked to his
every move, trying to predict his next. But even though he moved
his hand slowly to my face, my heart still skipped when his thumb
touched my cheek, gently sliding down, then across my bottom lip. I
could taste something sweet on his skin, and I wanted so badly to
make a joke, wanted to run or hide, or close my eyes and breathe
him in. In fact, I thought I was holding my breath, but as his lips
hovered in front of mine, the warmth he exhaled went into my lungs.
But he didn't kiss me. He just smiled into me, speaking with his
eyes. I knew what he was doing, and he knew, if he had any sense at
all, he knew what this closeness was doing to me. I swallowed, my
mouth watering.

But the good feeling
slinked away as the two girls walked off in a huff, flipping their
hair. I looked up at David, who smiled in a way that made me feel I
belonged here. “Why did you do that?”

“
Do what?” He leaned
a little closer; I stopped him with a hand to his firm, cool
chest.

“
You—you made them
think we were kissing.”

“
Yes.”

“
But, don’t you get it? They’ll spread this around to
everyone—tell the whole school you were kissing
me
!” I swallowed the lump in my
throat
.

“
Precisely.”

“
But—” Against
everything inside me, I pressed my hand more firmly to his chest
and shoved him away, then rolled out from the wall and flung myself
across the corridor.