When they reached the place he was going, the old man started to worry about leaving her alone. She assured him that she would be fine, but now she realized it was a long way to her house. There was nothing to do but begin to walk, so that is what Mama Cecilia did. Her old fingers grew tired from carrying her small pack with her extra sweater. Eventually, she sat on a large rock and ate the food the old man had given her. She looked straight ahead at the trees. There were so many of them and each one more beautiful and stronger than the next. She took another bite of her bread and thought that she was perhaps a few miles from Oki's house and that meant she was only another few miles more from her own. It was a pity to have to think so hard about where one was, but that was what an old mind must do.
Mama raised her feet to look at her good moccasins because it pleased her. In her mind she told them it was time to walk again and she thought that they agreed. She put her hood on her head and began to walk.
She had not taken more than a dozen steps when she heard someone speak sharply. Quickly, she swiped the hood from her head so that she could hear more clearly. Whoever had called out did not call out again. Instead, Mama heard the sound of a motor. It was a snowmobile motor, and Mama Cecilia went toward it. She walked as quickly as she could, but she couldn't go fast enough. The sound of the engine was fading.
"Hello!"
She called out even though she knew she could not be heard over the noise and the distance. When she came to the place where she saw tracks, Mama Cecilia saw that the driver was going the opposite way of where she wanted to go. Still, it would have been good if she had said hello, and if the driver had offered to turn around and take her home.
She took a deep breath and looked toward her home as she thought about this missed opportunity. That's when she saw the other thing – an almost naked person lying in the snow that was red with his blood.
Mama went to the person to see if he was dead. She dropped to her knees and brushed the snow off his face and saw it was a very young man, younger than her son. His eyes were closed and his skin was blue/white. On his head was a wound. Mama reached her hand out but before she could touch him, the man sprung up and clasped her arm.
"I'll kill you. I'll. . "
The boy looked at her with great anger, but when he saw that she was not the person who hurt him he didn't hold her so tightly.
"I will help you," Mama said.
"I won't kill you," he promised.
The boy's arm shuddered and his eyes filled with tears. He fell into Mama's arms. This was not her son, but the spirits had sent this person to her because he was somebody's son. Mama Cecilia opened her small pack and gave him her extra sweater. She took off her coat
of three furs and put it around him. It was a long coat, but it did not cover his legs. She had nothing for his legs, but she put his boots on his feet. In the snow she found his yellow jacket and she put that on herself. When all that was done, she helped this boy out of the snow and decided to do what a mama bear would do with her cub.
"My name is Mama Cecilia."
"Billy," he said. "My name is Billy."
Mama Cecilia smiled and she took his hand.
***
Melody and Glenn sat on the sofa in the living room. Robert stood behind them. The others were in
Hours
. Pea, of course, was
Within
. Teresa was with Hannah but those in the living room knew that she was upstairs doing exactly what they were doing: looking at Duncan's house.
"When did he come back?" Glenn asked and this time he did want an answer.
"Late," Melody answered.
"Did you see him?" Robert asked.
Melody nodded. She crossed her arms on the back of the couch and rested her chin on top of them. She hadn't taken her eyes off Duncan's house since he'd returned.
"I saw him walk from the store and go into his house," Melody said.
"But it was really dark then, Melody. Are you sure it was Duncan?" Robert said.
"Who else would it be?"
"I deduce a demon." Robert coughed and wiped his nose.
Glenn shrugged, "Billy? Maybe it was Billy who came back."
"Then where would Duncan be?" Melody asked. "I'm almost sure it was Duncan. He went right into the house."
"Teresa didn't make dinner. He didn't come to see us," Glenn said. "I think one of us should go talk to him. Melody, you should go."
"No, I don't think so. Teresa should go." Melody sat up and turned away from the window. "I'll go get her. Somebody needs to know what's going on. Hannah is asking for Billy. I told her he'd gone to get the doctor, but now there's no doctor."
"I could go talk to him," Robert offered.
"No, Melody is right. Teresa should do it," Glenn said. Half of Robert's face fell. The other half of his face never moved.
Melody got up. "You watch the house. Come tell us if you see him."
Melody went up the stairs, but instead of going to get Teresa she opened the door to Pea's room. It was as it always was except for Pea. She was not on her pillow. Instead, Pea was on her knees facing the shuttered windows with her hands flat upon them. It wasn't time to eat so, perhaps, this was where Pea always was at this time. Or else she was watching Duncan, in her mind, in her soul, facing his house and praying that he would make himself known. Melody stood behind her and said:
"Come out, Pea. Come out now."
The woman didn't move, not that Melody had expected her to. Melody looked around. She walked across the room to the bureau. There was a small chair in the corner, dainty enough for Melody to pick up with one hand. She put it beside Pea and sat down. She was so tired. Not just because she had kept watch all day and night but because she had been watching for years one way or another.
"Pea, Duncan needs you. I don't know if you can come
Without,
but if you can, now would be a good time."
While she waited, Melody looked at the kneeling woman. She had beautiful hands and her bare neck was lovely, too. Her skin was smooth and pale. Then Melody had the strangest thought. She wondered if Pea would feel it if Melody took a knife to her? Would she run like Melody's sister tried to do? Would she put her hands up to protect her face? Would she be strong enough to protect herself? Melody's sister hadn't been. Funny how wonderful it felt to be stronger than her beautiful sister who had two good hands. Melody shook away those thoughts. She didn't look at Pea's beautiful neck. She tried not to think about Hannah's scars, crisscrossed on her pretty dark skin.
"Pea!" Melody snapped.
When Pea didn't move, Melody stood up and reached over her head. She worked the latch, but couldn't get it to move. She wanted the window to open in the worst way. She wanted to have this woman see the world outside. Melody wanted Pea to understand that Duncan was in trouble.
When she couldn't manage the latch, Melody leaned on the wood and pounded it with her fist. She sniffed and tears came to her eyes. She swiped them away and looked down on Pea.
"Do you hear anything? Do you care? At all? About anything? Do you?"
James 2:10
Melody just stood there, looking down at Pea's black hair and the pink soles of her feet. Her shoulders slumped in resignation and disappointment.
"What good is it without, Duncan, Pea?"
Melody left the silent woman to commune with God and went to the next room where she hoped she would have better luck with Teresa.
***
Oki opened his door even though it was late. This time the television was turned to a show about animals.
"It is you, Cecilia."
"We need your help, Oki."
"I see that Cecilia," he answered. "But this is not your son."
"No. But if this boy were my son, I would want another mother to help him."
Oki opened the door and took the boy's arm as Cecilia handed him inside. Oki guided him to a large chair. He looked at the parka.
"This is your
amaut,
is it not?"
It seemed to Mama Cecilia that there was no need to answer his question. Did she not stand there dressed in a yellow jacket and didn't the boy lie there covered in a fine coat of
wolf and seal and fox? Still, if Oki asked then she should be respectful and answer.
"Yes."
"He is still very cold." Oki was on his knees. He took off Billy's shoes and he put his own slippers on the boy's feet. "Can you get him coffee, Cecilia?"
Mama Cecilia went to the kitchen that was part of the room where Oki watched his programs, and she could see the old man doing what he could to warm the boy. She brought the coffee and gave it to Oki who gave it to Billy.
"He does not speak." Oki stepped back to look at the boy.
"He does, Oki," Cecilia said. "His name is Billy."
"Billy." Oki spoke the name as if he were trying to decide if it was a good one. Then he nodded and pulled up a chair that he offered to Cecilia. He turned off his program and sat on a chair himself.
"Will you speak to me?" Oki asked.
Billy nodded.
"Then tell me what has happened to you."
"He is a shaman," Mama said by way of reassuring Billy when he didn't speak.
Billy swallowed his hot drink and he thought while the two old people waited patiently.
"Do you know the devil?" Billy asked.
Oki closed his eyes and nodded. Mama Cecilia felt her heart grow faint. She did not think she could take another boy into her heart who had devils, but then he made it right.
"I've seen him, man. I've seen the devil, and he tried to kill me."
"He is gone now," Mama Cecilia said, and she told the truth. The devil had gone off on a snowmobile so it was fine.
***
"Teresa?" Melody touched the older woman. Teresa opened her eyes. "Duncan didn't bring a doctor. He hasn't come in the house."
"Then he hasn't, Melody. Leave me alone."
"But–"
"He'll come when he's ready. He'll go see Pea. That's who he cares about." Teresa looked over at Hannah who slept quietly. Melody did the same.
"What about the doctor?"
Teresa sighed. "There was never going to be a doctor."
"But Duncan said that's where they were going," Melody insisted.
"Go to bed, Melody. Duncan will come when he's ready. Or he won't come. Just go to bed."
"Pea spoke to me again."
"That's fine." Teresa closed her eyes.
Melody stood there, not knowing what to do. Without Teresa, Melody was lost. She didn't know how to put Pea to bed. She didn't know how to do anything but her chores. Teresa was the one to say what they cooked and when they cooked it. Teresa set the hours for the fires to be stoked and Glenn had not even brought the wood in from the pile. They were all waiting for something, and that was not the way it was supposed to be. It always had been Duncan who waited. Now he was hiding even from Pea and that frightened Melody more than anything.
Melody gazed at Teresa who, it seemed, was not waiting for anything at all. Melody clasped her withered hand. It was a brittle and useless thing, like her; like all of them. How stupid she had been to think it could be any different. She turned her eyes away, unable to look at Teresa any longer. But when she looked away, she caught Hannah's gaze.
"Billy?" Hannah whispered.
Melody bent her knees and got down beside her.
"He's not here."
"Where is he?" Hannah asked.
"Duncan took him to find a doctor," Melody said. "For you."
"When will they be back?"
Melody shook her head, "I don't know. I'm sure it won't be long. You look better."
Hannah nodded. Melody put her hand on the mattress and started to get up but Hannah tried to grasp her hand. Melody got down on her knees again.
"We're going home when he gets back."
Melody nodded. "Yes, I know."
Melody stood up and when she turned away from the bed she saw Teresa's eyes were open. She was half smiling, daring Melody to be the godly girl she professed to be and tell Hannah the truth. Duncan had come back; Billy had not.
Instead, Melody left them and when she got to the living room nothing had changed. The men were still watching the house across the way. Connie and Paul had left the
Hours
and Peter asleep to huddle with the others. They were all silent except for Robert's sniffing and Foster's muttering. Glenn's mutilated hands went from his face to the couch and back to his face again. He rolled his body left and then right, unable to find a place that felt comfortable.
Melody looked at each of them and saw the truth. They were sad, sad specimens: a burned man, a wordless man, a giant man with half a face, small people. There was Teresa, a woman who had given up hope long ago, was just now showing her true colors. Or, perhaps, Teresa knew what all of them did not. She knew that their faith had been misplaced.
Melody went to the couch. She knelt upon it and leaned over so that she could put her good hand on the cold window. She waited to feel Duncan's energy. When she didn't, she raised her palm to heaven. She wanted to feel God's love. She didn't. She put her hand out to Glenn, but he didn't see her anymore than anyone in the real world had seen her. She was walking through the shadows while everyone else in the world walked in the sunlight, and she was so tired of it.
Without a word, Melody got off the couch and walked to the front hall. There she took the first things she found on the rack: Glenn's coat and Robert's scarf. She dug in the pocket of the coat and found gloves. She took a hat and didn't know who it belonged to. When Melody was dressed, she went out the door without acknowledging the people who had gathered in the entryway to watch her. As she walked into the cold, it was Glenn and Foster who rushed back to watch through the big window in the living room. They saw her put her head down and bury her hands in the coat pockets. They saw her go to Duncan's house. To their horror, Melody did not knock before she went inside.
CHAPTER 26