Darker (5 page)

* * * *

“
No.” My voice echoed throughout the silent house. “A thousand times, no.”

“
It’s not such a bad idea, Alexa. Think it through. As long as Lilah is cursed, she’s desperate to get her hands on you. Right now, Shya has more power than she does. And, so do we. Partnering with him on this is in everyone’s best interest.”

“
That,” I snarled, my fists clenched, “is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Arys gave me one of those looks I hated involving a slight roll of the eyes and a quirk of his lips that indicated he found me absurd. From his place on the couch, he watched me pace the open length of the living room to the adjoined kitchen and back again. He patted the cushion beside him, a gesture I ignored.

I didn’t want to pace around the house arguing with Arys. I wanted to tear off my clothes and race across the backyard on four legs. I’d moved into the new house on the edge of town just two weeks ago. It still didn’t feel quite like home, but I liked it. The location was perfect for a wolf. Jez insisted on a housewarming party, but in light of recent events, there was no telling when that would actually happen.

“
I don’t trust him, and I don’t want to play nice with the same demon that tried to sell me out to Lilah.” I gazed at the patio off the kitchen, aching to escape the confines of the house and run. “I’m shocked you’d ever suggest such a thing. Shya’s just pissed that she refused him. Don’t you find it suspicious that he’s trying to include us in this?”

“
I’m not suggesting we blindly follow Shya into anything, but playing along seems like the safest way to deal with this for now. Lilah’s going to continue putting the squeeze on you.”

“
She wants my blood to break her curse. Shya can’t protect me from that. Not when she’s targeting others.”

Arys studied me, an unnerving darkness in his eyes. “She just needs a Hound of God. It doesn’t have to be you.”

I stopped dead mid-pace. Unease crawled up my spine like a giant spider. “You better not be saying what I think you’re saying. Tread carefully, vampire.”

With an unapologetic shrug, Arys said, “Have you wondered yet if it’s just you? Little sister might be a Hound, too.”

My initial reaction was territorial rage. What he was suggesting was so wrong, so vile, so… Arys. I was momentarily flustered by a tangle of angry words snagged on the tip of my tongue.

Juliet couldn’t be a Hound. It couldn’t be a running bloodline unless Raoul was one, too. As far as I knew, we were chosen, not made. Either way, I’d die before I’d let anyone harm my sister.

“
Let’s get one thing straight right now. Nobody touches Juliet.” My words came out a growl. “How can you possibly think it’s a good idea to help Lilah break her curse? What’s going on with you, Arys?”

A muscle twitched in his jaw. Despite his calm appearance, I knew he was fighting his short temper. Heated arguments were a regular part of our relationship. As twin flames, we were guaranteed to have conflict with one another. At times it was sexy, lending fire to a rough bout of lovemaking. Nevertheless, it could get ugly, driving a wedge between two beings who were destined to share everything. We were each other’s greatest strength and most formidable weakness.

“
I just want to keep you alive, my beautiful wolf. I’m seeking the best way to do that without incurring the wrath of a demon goddess.”

“
There’s more to it than that, I know you. What is it you’re not saying?”

“
Nothing,” he insisted. “You are my priority. Keeping you safe is what matters most to me. Especially with the wolf pup out of town.”

I turned away so he wouldn’t see the emotion fill my eyes. Arys’s pet name for Shaz had stuck despite Shaz’s protests. Eventually he’d simply accepted it. Damn I missed my white wolf. I swallowed hard and crushed the swell of feelings, forcing them back down where they belonged.

“
I’m not doing it, and I’m not going along with anything Shya has planned, either. It’s never what it seems no matter what he makes you think,” I said, shaking my head.

Arys watched me with uncertainty, ultimately deciding the risk was worth taking. “What if I’d like to go along with it?”

My jaw dropped. “Has everybody taken a big fucking dose of insanity tonight?”

“
It’s risky, but playing nice with Shya might give us an advantage that we wouldn’t have if we told him to fuck off. It’s a strategic move, one that could keep us from having our asses handed to us by a nut job demon goddess.”

He had that look in his eyes, the glint of assurance when he knew he was right. I wasn’t folding this time. As often as Arys was right during these disputes, this time he was dead wrong.

“
Hell no,” I murmured. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, Arys, but it’s scaring me.”

Much to my surprise, he averted his gaze, suddenly unwilling to give me his famous stare-down. I was sure it wasn’t because he had no fight left in him. Arys was always spoiling for a good fight. A sick sensation gripped me.

I slid the patio door open and stepped outside for some air. The confines of the house were making my wolf crazy. That in turn would eventually drive Arys crazy. Plus, I needed a moment to think this through.

There was no sound, no sense of movement, but I knew when Arys stood behind me. I anticipated his touch when he placed a hand on my waist. His mouth was hot on the back of my neck. He emanated the heat he’d stolen from his victim tonight.

“
Please, trust me?” Low and smooth, his voice made my knees weak. “I only want what’s best for both of us, but especially for you. I can’t bear to lose you now.”

I turned to face him, gazing up into blue eyes filled with concern. “Where is this coming from, Arys? Paranoia has never been quite your style.”

Again he glanced away, staring into the darkness beyond the glow of the patio light. I barely resisted the urge to shake him.

“
You’re powerful,” he said. “Not invincible. I’ve watched you taunt death enough times to know that it’s only a matter of time until it comes for you.”

“
You made sure I’d rise as a vampire after death. You called my mortality a burden to be cast off. Now, you’re afraid it will actually happen. What’s your deal?” I touched his face, gently guiding his gaze back to mine. “Is it because you think you’ll be the one to do it?”

His lips were warm against my skin as he kissed the side of my face. “It’s because I know it. And, so do you.”

A chill crept through me. I’d felt my own death in Arys’s hands many times, most often when passion drove us into a frenzy of bloodletting and power-fueled sex. I had never voiced this to him. Since discovering that a witch had shown him my death at his hand long before I’d even been born, I intended never to share my sense of foreboding.

“
Then why are you concerned with Lilah? She won’t be the one. No big deal then.” I sought to downplay his worry. My hollow voice betrayed me.

Arys stiffened. He captured my hand in his and gave it a desperate, almost painful squeeze. Anger crashed forth from him, dousing his energy in flames. Power sparked in our joined hands, a flash of blue and gold.

“
It’s not just about Lilah. I know you asked Shaz and Kylarai to kill you when you rise as a vampire. I knew you’d regret the blood bond, I just didn’t think it would be so soon.”

I was stunned, but I also felt a little betrayed. Kylarai would never have shared my secret request with Arys. How could Shaz do this to me?

“
But, I didn’t,” I protested. “That was only if I were to lose all control, if the bloodlust were to consume me to a point where I wasn’t myself anymore. It was a safety net.”

With a storm brewing in his eyes, Arys jerked back from my touch. “You don’t trust me. Do you think I would let you face that alone? Do you have any idea how I’ve wrestled with the guilt of binding you that way? To hear you’ve asked your wolves for a way out… that hurts.”

The atmosphere grew increasingly uncomfortable as we stared at one another. Arys’s sire had forced us into the blood bond. Perhaps we shouldn’t have rushed into it, but Harley’s intent to bond with me had left us no choice. He’d unknowingly played an important part in bringing Arys and I together. Upon discovering this, he’d grown desperate to have us both for himself. Jealousy will drive people to madness.

The blood bond is the vampires’ way of binding mortals to themselves through a deep exchange of blood. Though not enough to turn a mortal immediately, it ensured they would rise as a vampire upon their death. To prevent Harley or anyone else from binding me, Arys had done it. Now, his darkness grew in me in a way that threatened the balance of our twin flame union.

“
I’m not looking for a way out.” I heard the pleading note in my tone and cringed. “I just can’t allow it to consume me. It’s already starting to. I may be a killer, but I don’t have to be ok with it. I can’t be like that.”

My voice rose dangerously, a near shout that bordered on hysteria. Arys flinched, a rare crack in his armor that allowed me to see the wound I’d inflicted.

“
Like me. Isn’t that what you’re really saying?”

It was my turn to look away. I didn’t want him to see it in my eyes, the truth, that the thought of becoming a vampire terrified me in ways I couldn’t describe. Vampires were ruthless, cunning and powerful. Ultimately, they existed for the thrill of the hunt, the euphoria of the kill. They felt no remorse. Arys was all of this and yet still human in so many ways due to his connection to me. I didn’t want to hurt him.

“
I’m scared,” I admitted. “I’m not ready to let go of my human side.”

“
Will you ever be?”

The weight of his stare grew heavy. I forced myself to let him see the fear in my brown wolf eyes. The wolf was my safe place.

“
I don’t know.”

“
You should go, be wolf,” Arys said, gesturing toward the dark field and the forest beyond. “We don’t have to do this now.”

My beast leapt against my insides, demanding release. I didn’t feel good about leaving this unsettled, but was it even possible to settle? I felt ill.

“
Arys, I love you. You know that, right?” I needed something, some kind of reassurance.

A sinking sensation gripped me. I knew Arys had been on edge lately. He had known the blood bond would afflict our twin flame tie, tainting me with his darkness. This was worse. He now believed he’d condemned me to a future I no longer accepted, which made it easier to understand why he was desperate enough to strike deals with demons. I understood his need to protect me from Lilah, but did he really think he could save me from himself?

I resented a choice I had willingly made. This was my burden to bear, not his. If he did something reckless, it might come back on us with a vengeance. I couldn’t let it come to that.

“
Of course. And, I love you, my wolf.” He smiled, a sensual flash of fang that lacked genuine warmth. “After a century of believing I may never find you, I won’t lose you now, to anyone or anything. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to protect you, Alexa. Whatever that happens to be, I hope you can learn to live with it.”

Chapter Four

The Big Book of Love Spells
held my attention while I waited for Toil and Trouble to close for the night. Brogan was finishing up with a few remaining customers. The people I saw in her magic shop, soccer moms, businessmen, little old ladies with walkers, always fascinated me. Looks sure are deceiving. I doubted I looked anything like what one would expect a werewolf to look like, particularly not one with the power of a vampire. With my long, ash blonde hair and brown eyes framed with smoky dark makeup, I probably looked much like any average twenty-something woman. Petite and casually dressed in blue jeans and a tank top with a rainbow colored peace sign, I was sure nothing about my appearance screamed supernatural. Of course, those who could work magic or possessed power of their own saw right through my outward appearance.

As if on cue with my thoughts, the shop door opened, and Gabriel slunk inside. Gabriel was tall, lanky and drenched head to toe in Goth attire. From the spiked collar to the thick eyeliner to the metal band t-shirt, he looked more like the type one might expect to see in a magic shop. However, this kid had serious power. I’d felt it myself, and my curiosity had been piqued.

Relief swept through me. After the look of horror he’d given me the last time we’d both been here, I was surprised he’d shown up. Brogan had arranged this meeting. I had some magically encrypted files that I desperately needed to get into, and she’d been sure Gabriel had the talent to do just that. He shuffled over to the other side of the store without so much as a glance my way.

Shaking my head at some of the silly love spells, I returned the book to the shelf. Did people really think that a few herbs and the right words would make someone love them? Even more disturbing was the possibility that one’s will could be bent that way. I suppressed a shudder and moved on to a rack filled with chalices and crystal balls.

“
Finally,” Brogan announced after she’d locked the door behind the last customer. “Are you two ready? We can go in the back.”

I followed her into the back room where several large storage shelves lined the wall, laden with various spellcasting items. In the center of the room was a large round table covered with a red cloth. It sat inside a big circle painted on the bare floor. Gabriel joined us a moment later, sitting opposite of me.