Darker (28 page)

“Behave myself? Really, Miss Steele—what makes you think I want to relive them?”

“Probably the way your eyes lit up like Christmas when I said that.”

“You know me so well already,” I say.

“I’d like to know you better.”

“And I you, Anastasia. Come, let’s go.” Mac has lowered the gangplank, allowing me to lead Ana onto the dock. “Thanks, Mac.” I shake his hand.

“Always a pleasure, Mr. Grey, and good-bye. Ana, great to meet you.”

“Good day, Mac, and thank you,” Ana replies, and she looks a little shy.

Together Ana and I walk up to the promenade, leaving Mac on
The Grace.

“Where’s Mac from?” Ana asks.

“Ireland. Northern Ireland.”

“Is he your friend?”

“Mac? He works for me. Helped build
The Grace.
”

“Do you have many friends?”

What would I need friends for?

“Not really. Doing what I do. I don’t cultivate friendships. There’s only—”
Shit.
I stop myself. I don’t want to mention Elena. “Hungry?” I ask, feeling food might be a safer topic.

Ana nods.

“We’ll eat where I left the car. Come.”

ANA AND I ARE
seated at a table in Bee’s, an Italian bistro next to SP’s. She reads the menu while I take a sip of a fine chilled Frascati. I like watching her read.

“What?” Ana asks when she looks up.

“You look lovely, Anastasia. The outdoors agrees with you.”

“I feel rather windburned, to tell the truth. But I had a lovely afternoon. A perfect afternoon. Thank you.”

“My pleasure.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Anastasia. You know that.”

“You don’t seem to have many friends. Why is that?”

“I told you, I don’t really have time. I have business associates, though that’s very different from friendships, I suppose. I have my family, and that’s it.” I shrug. “Apart from Elena.”

Thankfully, she ignores my Elena comment. “No male friends your own age that you can go out with and let off steam?”

No. Just Elliot.

“You know how I like to let off steam, Anastasia.” My voice is low. “And I’ve been working, building up the business. That’s all I do, except sail and fly occasionally.”
And fuck, of course.

“Not even in college?”

“Not really.”

“Just Elena, then?”

I nod.
Where is she going with this?

“Must be lonely.”

Leila’s words come back to me:
“But you’re lonely. I can see it.”
I frown. The only time I felt lonely was when Ana left me.

It was crippling.

I never want to feel like that again.

“What would you like to eat?” I ask, hoping to move the subject on.

“I’m going for the risotto.”

“Good choice.” I beckon the waiter over.

We place our order. Risotto for Ana, penne for me.

The waiter scurries off and I notice Ana staring down at her lap, knotting her fingers. Something is on her mind. “Anastasia, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

She looks at me, continuing to fidget, and I know there’s something bothering her. “Tell me,” I demand. I hate it when she’s anxious.

She sits up, straightening her back. She means business.

Shit.
Now what?

“I’m just worried that this isn’t enough for you. You know, to let off steam.”

What? Not this again.
“Have I given you any indication that this isn’t enough?” I ask.

“No.”

“Then why do you think that?”

“I know what you’re like. What you, um, need.” Her voice is hesitant, and she rounds her shoulders and crosses her arms like she’s folding in on herself. I close my eyes and rub my forehead. I don’t know what to say. I thought we were having a good time.

“What do I have to do?” I whisper.

I’m trying, Ana. I’m really trying.

“No, you misunderstand,” she says, suddenly animated. “You have been amazing, and I know it’s just been a few days, but I hope I’m not forcing you to be someone you’re not.”

Her response is reassuring, but I think she’s missing the point. “I’m still me, Anastasia, in all my fifty shades of fucked up…ness,” I say, searching for the word. “Yes, I have to fight the urge to be controlling, but that’s my nature, how I’ve dealt with my life. Yes, I expect you to behave a certain way, and when you don’t it’s both challenging and refreshing. We still do what I like to do. You let me spank you after your outrageous bid yesterday.”

The thought of last night’s arousing encounter preoccupies me for a moment.

Grey!

Keeping my voice low, I try to unravel how I feel. “I enjoy punishing you. I don’t think the urge will ever go, but I’m trying, and it’s not as hard as I thought it would be.”

“I didn’t mind that,” Ana says quietly, and she’s referring to our assignation in my childhood bedroom.

“I know. Neither did I.”

I take a deep breath and tell her the truth. “But let me tell you, Anastasia, this is all new to me, and these last few days have been the best in my life. I don’t want to change anything.”

Her face brightens. “They’ve been the best in my life, too, without exception.”

I’m sure my relief is reflected in my smile.

She persists. “So, you don’t want to take me into your playroom?”

Fuck.
I swallow. “No, I don’t.”

“Why not?” she asks.

Now I’m really in the confessional. “The last time we were in there you left me. I will shy away from anything that could make you leave me again. I was devastated when you left. I explained that. I never want to feel like that again. I’ve told you how I feel about you.”

“But it hardly seems fair. It can’t be very relaxing for you to be constantly concerned about how I feel. You’ve made all these changes for me, and I—I think I should reciprocate in some way. I don’t know, maybe try some role-playing games.” She’s blushing.

“Ana, you do reciprocate, more than you know. Please, please don’t feel like this. Baby, it’s only been one weekend. Give us some time. I thought a great deal about us when you left. We need time. You need to trust me, and I you. Maybe in time we can indulge, but I like how you are now. I like seeing you this happy, this relaxed and carefree, knowing that I had something to do with it. I have never—” I stop.

Don’t give up on me, Ana.

I hear Dr. Flynn’s voice, nagging me. “We have to walk before we can run,” I say out loud.

“What’s so funny?” she asks.

“Flynn. He says that all the time. I never thought I’d be quoting him.”

“A Flynnism.”

I laugh. “Exactly.”

The waiter arrives with the appetizers and our heavy conversation ceases, turning to the much lighter subject of travel. We discuss all the countries Ana would love to visit, and the places I’ve been. Talking to Ana reminds me how lucky I am. My parents took us all over the world: to Europe, to Asia, and to South America. My father in particular considered travel a vital part of our education. Of course, they could afford it. Ana’s never left the U.S. and has always longed to visit Europe. I’d like to take her to all these places; I wonder how she’d feel about sailing the world with me.

Don’t get ahead of yourself, Grey.

TRAFFIC IS LIGHT DURING
our drive back to Escala. Ana admires the passing sights, her foot tapping in time to the music that fills the car.

I can’t help thinking about our earlier intense conversation about our relationship. The truth is, I don’t know if I can maintain a vanilla relationship, but I’m willing to try. I don’t want to push her into something she doesn’t want to do.

But she’s willing, Grey.

She said so.

She wants the Red Room, as she calls it.

I shake my head. I think, for once, I’m going to take Dr. Flynn’s advice.

Walk before we run, Ana.

I glance out of the window and catch sight of a young woman with long brown hair and she reminds me of Leila.
It’s not her, but as we near Escala I begin to scan the streets, searching for her.

Where the fuck is she?

By the time I pull into the garage at Escala, my hands are gripping the steering wheel and tension has tightened every muscle in my body. I’m wondering if it was a good idea to come back to the apartment with Leila still at large.

Sawyer is in the garage, prowling around my parking spaces like a caged lion. This is overkill surely, but I’m relieved to see the Audi A3 is gone. He opens Ana’s car door as I switch off the engine.

“Hello, Sawyer,” she says.

“Miss Steele. Mr. Grey,” he says in greeting.

“No sign?” I ask him.

“No, sir,” he responds, and even though I knew that would be the answer, it’s vexing. I grasp Ana’s hand and we step into the elevator.

“You are not allowed out of here alone. You understand?” I caution Ana.

“Okay,” she says as the doors close, and her lips twitch in amusement.

“What’s so funny?” I’m floored that she agreed so readily.

“You are.”

“Me?” My tension starts to dissolve. She’s laughing at me? “Miss Steele? Why am I funny?” I purse my lips, trying to stop my smile.

“Don’t pout,” she says.

I’m pouting?

“Why?”

“Because it has the same effect on me as I have on you when I do this.” She lets her teeth toy with her bottom lip.

“Really?” I do it once more and lean down to give her a swift kiss. When my lips touch hers, it sparks my desire. I hear her sharp intake of breath, then her fingers are twisting in my hair. Holding my lips to hers, I grab her and push her against the elevator wall, my hands cradling her face. Her tongue is in my mouth and mine in hers as she takes what she wants and I give her all that I have.

It’s explosive.

I want to fuck her. Now.

I pour all my anxiety into her, and she takes everything.

Ana…

The elevator doors open with the familiar ping and I pull my face away from her, but I’m still pinning her to the wall with my hips and my hardening erection.

“Whoa,” I whisper, dragging air into my lungs.

“Whoa,” she answers, panting.

“What you do to me, Ana.” I trace my thumb across her lower lip. Ana’s eyes flit to the foyer and I sense rather than see Taylor.

She kisses the corner of my mouth. “What you do to me, Christian,” she says. I step back and take her hand. I haven’t jumped her in an elevator since that day at The Heathman.

Get a grip, Grey.

“Come,” I say.

As we exit the elevator, Taylor is standing to one side.

“Good evening, Taylor.”

“Mr. Grey, Miss Steele.”

“I was Mrs. Taylor yesterday,” Ana says, all smiles for Mr. Taylor.

“That has a nice ring to it, Miss Steele,” Taylor responds.

“I thought so, too.”

What the hell is going on?

I scowl at Ana and Taylor. “If you two have quite finished, I’d like a debriefing.” Ana and Taylor exchange a look. “I’ll be with you shortly. I just want a word with Miss Steele,” I say to Taylor.

He nods.

And I take Ana into my bedroom and close the door. “Don’t flirt with the staff, Anastasia.”

“I wasn’t flirting. I was being friendly. There is a difference.”

“Don’t be friendly with the staff or flirt with them. I don’t like it.”

She sighs. “I’m sorry.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder and looks down at her fingernails.
I cup her chin and lift her head so I can see into her eyes. “You know how jealous I am.”

“You have no reason to be jealous, Christian. You own me body and soul.” She looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind, and suddenly I feel foolish.

She’s right.

I’m completely overreacting.

I give her a chaste kiss. “I won’t be long. Make yourself at home.” I go to find Taylor in his office. He stands when I enter.

“Mr. Grey, about—”

I hold up my hand. “Don’t. It’s I who should apologize.”

Taylor looks surprised.

“What’s occurring?” I ask.

“Gail will return later tonight.”

“Good.”

“I’ve informed the facilities management at Escala that Miss Williams had a key. I felt they should know.”

“How did they respond?”

“Well, I stopped them from calling the police.”

“Good.”

“The locks have all been changed and a contractor is coming to look at the emergency stairwell door. Miss Williams shouldn’t have been able to get in from the outside even with a key.”

“And you found nothing in your sweep?”

“Nothing, sir. I couldn’t tell you where she was hiding. But she’s not here now.”

“Have you spoken to Welch?”

“I’ve briefed him.”

“Thank you. Ana’s going to stay here tonight. I think it’s safer.”

“Agreed, sir.”

“Cancel the Audi. I’ve decided on a Saab for Ana. It should be here soon. I have asked them to expedite delivery.”

“Will do, sir.”

When I return to my bedroom, Ana is standing on the threshold of my closet. She looks a little stunned. I poke my head around the closet door. Her clothes are here.

“Oh, they managed the move.” I thought Gail was going to handle Ana’s clothes. I shrug it off.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

I give her a quick rundown of what Taylor has just told me about the apartment and Leila. “I wish I knew where she was. She’s evading all our attempts to find her, when she needs help.”

Ana puts her arms around me, holding me, calming me. And I embrace her and kiss the top of her head.

“What will you do when you find her?” she asks.

“Dr. Flynn has a place.”

“What about her husband?”

“He’s washed his hands of her.”
Asshole.
“Her family is in Connecticut. I think she’s very much on her own out there.”

“That’s sad.”

Ana’s compassion knows no bounds. I tighten my hold on her. “Are you okay with all your stuff being here? I want you to share my room.”

“Yes.”

“I want you sleeping with me. I don’t have nightmares when you’re with me.”

“You have nightmares?”

“Yes.” She squeezes me tighter, and we stand in my closet wrapped around each other.