Darker Water (17 page)

“Six thousand dollars.” The figure was doing
circles in my mind. Even if Carson puffed up the price, it still
meant other people would’ve paid something close to that. Six
thousand dollars for a piece I made. All told, Carson had paid
seventy-five hundred. For a piece of my art.

“I wish you’d been there to see the guy’s
face when he realized he was a loser.” He drew out the word,
belittling something that made me feel more supported than I ever
had by anyone, including my parents.

“Did that really happen?” I asked quietly.
“Was there really a guy you had to outbid?”

“No. There were two guys and three women I
had to outbid.” He straightened and looked at me with a furrowed
brow. “What’s wrong? Six thousand dollars is going to families who
need it, and I love my new table. Why are you upset about it?”

Because even though money didn’t mean
anything to him, and he’d refuse to believe he had done anything
special, he’d validated my art and my dream and made me feel like I
could do this. But I couldn’t tell him that because I’d probably
start crying and getting all girlie.

“I’m not upset.” I shook it off before I
scared him. “I’m in shock—a happy kind of shock.”

“I’m in a happy kind of shock
for
you.
The bidding was tight. I didn’t want to tell you because then you’d
be working more instead of paying attention to me.” He winked. “But
your phone number might have accidentally slipped into a few of
their hands. I would’ve given them your website address if yours
wasn’t so humiliating. Which brings us back to… Cash the
check.”

“It’s not a donation if you pay me.”

“Then call it something else. Or
give
me something else.” His gaze flew around my body. “Do you even have
anything? I guess this will have to do.” He reached to my waist,
yanked me towards him, and started undoing my belt.

“Carson, stop!” I backed up quickly, pushing
him away. But he’d already gotten the buckle undone, and it stayed
in his hand. “What are you doing?” I shoved him as hard as I
could.

Time froze. He stood perfectly still, staring
at the belt running from his hand to the last loop of my jeans. We
both watched it come loose and fall.

“Buying your belt.” His voice was raspy and
deeper than normal. Not like his real one at all. There was
something so accepting about the look on his face. Like he’d been
expecting something like this, known it was coming. But he’d
misunderstood—I wasn’t afraid of him.

“For fifteen-hundred dollars,” he said. “It
was lovely doing business with you.” He rolled it around his hand
and walked towards the kitchen. “Want a drink?”

It wasn’t as if I thought he was going to do
anything horrible. “Don’t be like this. I just thought—”

“I know what you thought,” he called. “Let’s
leave it at that.”

“Carson!” I stood there for a second,
frustrated, before hurrying into the kitchen. “I didn’t mean
anything by it.”

“You thought I was trying to take off your
clothes without your permission.” He shrugged. “Your reaction was
exactly what it should’ve been.”

“Yeah, but I know you would never—”

“You didn’t think those guys would ever lie
to you, cheat on you, or treat you like shit, either.”

“You would never hurt me like that.”

“No. Not like
that
.” He held out his
hand, my belt wrapped around it multiple times. Tight. “But there
are a lot of ways to hurt someone.” His eyes stayed on the belt for
another moment before rising to meet mine.

I took his hand, slowly unwrapping the
leather from around his fist and wrist. Once I had all of it, I put
it in his open palm and curled his fingers around it, wanting more
than anything to make him stop looking like he knew it was just a
matter of time before one of us hurt the other. How had everything
changed so quickly?

“Don’t you think fifteen-hundred dollars is a
little too much for a belt?” I asked, smiling in the hopes he would
too. “I’m sure you have something better than me—”

He squinted for a moment. “Better than
you?”

“To spend your money on. You can’t buy a
crappy belt for fifteen-hundred dollars.”

“I have a lot of money in a bank account with
my name on it. That means I get to decide how I spend it and you
don’t.”

This wasn’t how I wanted things to be—awkward
and stiff.

“Hey.” I smacked him on the arm. “I just
didn’t understand what you were doing.”

He nodded. “It’s okay.”

I paused, wondering if that was even a little
bit true, knowing there wasn’t anything I could actually do about
it. “You know what’s totally
not
okay? That you gave me crap
for my business sense when you just paid fifteen-hundred dollars
for a twenty-dollar belt.”

I waited for his eyes to go back to playful
mode because then I’d know it really was okay. It didn’t take long.
He was so good at pushing away anything he didn’t want to deal
with, including himself.

“Yeah well, I got a great deal on a table
recently, so I figure I’m about even.” He took out a bottle of
wine. “Do you want something to drink or not?”

After a second of indecision, I hiked up my
jeans and reached for two glasses. “I like that belt. I should’ve
charged you more.”

My wine glass was half-empty again when he
tossed me something. As soon as my hand closed around it, I knew
what it was.

“It’s just a key, so don’t be all girlie and
read girlie things into it,” he said, flopping down on the couch.
“I need you to keep an eye on my place. I get to go to Los Angeles
tonight. Very exciting, because there’s nowhere I’d rather be
trapped for a week than in a room full of lawyers, financial
advisors, and Renee. Except with her fiancé and a wedding planner.
Gee, I hope I get to do that, too.”

“Sounds horrible. But you realize you’re
giving a key to someone you haven’t actually known all that long,
right?”

“I’m gonna let you in on a little
secret—you’re the most trustworthy person I know. By miles. If I
asked any of my guy friends, the place would be completely trashed
when I got home. If I gave it to any woman besides you, she’d read
into it somehow.”

“What about Anna?”

He paused. “I don’t trust Anna.”

“Then I guess I’m the best person for the
job. I’ll do it”—I tucked the key into my pocket—“but only if I get
to take a bath in your tub.” He had literally the biggest bathtub
I’d ever seen. Jets, a waterproof remote for the TV on the wall,
Bluetooth speakers everywhere, built in cushions to lay your head
on. All I had to do was not think of the women who’d used it with
him.

“Great,” he muttered. “Now I’m going to spend
a week in L.A. picturing you naked in my tub.”

“I’m sure you’ll find something to keep you
entertained.” But nothing I wanted to think too much about.

“Do you know how to turn it on?”

After I shook my head, he headed into the
bathroom, explaining where things were and what I shouldn’t touch.
When hot water started pouring in, I couldn’t get the stupid grin
off my face. Like I’d never seen running water before. But even
when it was completely full, the bathtub in my apartment was only
about eight inches deep and I could barely straighten my legs.

“I’m going to live in it,” I said. “Become a
big prune. You’ll still be my friend if I look like a wrinkly old
lady when you get back, won’t you?”

“Um…no,” he said. “But while I have your full
attention, check this out.” When the water got high enough, he
punched a button to turn on the jets.

My squeal wasn’t that loud, but he acted as
if it was.

“You’re such a girl.”

When I reached down to feel the pressure of
the jets, my other hand slipped off the edge and I fell forward,
screaming. Carson grabbed me, only catching my leg. If the tub had
been completely filled, my entire upper body would already be
under. Although, between the depth of the water and the splash as I
fell, I was still soaked. He tugged on my leg, but was laughing so
hard he couldn’t lift me up.

“Stop laughing and get me out of here, you
jerk!”

“Guess how badly I want to let go right now.”
If he did, even just to get a better grip, I’d go in. Thankfully,
he put hand over hand, climbing up my leg, over my knee, going
higher. When his hand reached my inner thigh, he let go with his
other to get more leverage, then once he had me he adjusted his
other hand.

Even though at this point he could’ve easily
pulled me out, he didn’t move. “Hmm…” Now I knew why—because of
what he was holding onto. One hand was on my ass and the other
holding the side of my breast. It was awkward and I was drenched,
but part of me wanted to fall in and pull him in with me. Stop
caring so much about limits and rules and dos and don’ts. Just
enjoy getting messy for a little while.

He cleared his throat and asked, “You
ready?”

God, yes. I got a little wet and all the
wondering and worrying about what to do had become completely moot.
My body made the decision for me. No thinking and no planning.
Thankfully, I stopped myself before I screamed out ‘yes,’ opting
for something a little more vague just in case I came to my senses
in the next few seconds.

“Probably.”

Probably?

I knew Lane had misunderstood me because her
lips parted and she didn’t take her eyes off my mouth, other than a
brief glance at my cock. But she was still pretty horizontal, and
if I didn’t pull her up soon, the laws of physics were going to
kick in, and we’d both go into the water.

Probably. What did that mean? I should
probably
kiss her. If I was really lucky, it would
probably
go further. Hopefully all the way to where I
definitely
wanted to be. Or was it just that I should
probably
get her out of the bath before we both fell in?

Then, even if I begged for more, would the
‘probably’ turn back into a ‘no’?

Fuck, ‘probably’ could mean anything. I
straightened, keeping her in my arms, as close as I could even
though she was sopping wet. I watched her expression, recognized it
because I’d seen it on a lot of women’s faces.

But Lane’s was different—it was hers. And I
wanted to make sure I saw it constantly because knowing she trusted
me was… I’m not sure anyone had ever trusted me before, not in the
way she did. And it made me feel—

Drop the sap and stick to what I’m good
at.

I shook off the weird connective element and
focused on the physical. That’s what I wanted. Just the physical. I
moved slowly, knowing she could balk at any moment, and I’d have to
take my hands off her. I’d gotten hard the second I grabbed her
ass, and I was only getting harder. She
had
to feel me. And
she stayed in my arms long after she had to.

“Are you ready for this?” I asked again,
knowing she’d understand and praying she’d say—

“Yes.”

My lips were on hers instantly, my hand
moving lower on her ass and pulling her tighter to me. I’d stop if
she said stop but I was going to go for as long as she let me. I’d
never wanted a woman even close to this much before.
Probably
because she’d made me wait so damn long. Her hands
went around my neck, and she moaned into my mouth. So I took the
opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Wait. Maybe I should slow down. I didn’t want
to slow down. Honestly, I was torn. If I didn’t say anything, we
could be together now and all the damage would come out later. And
later was
really
far from now. But if I said what I should
say, she might want to stop.

Shit. I didn’t want to, but if we didn’t make
things clear right now, it was never going to happen. Any second my
brain would turn off and let my cock take over.

Not
too
slow, just enough to be able
to speak in between swipes of lips or tongue.

“How you doing?” I asked.

She made a noise I’d never actually heard
before. Something in between what she sounded like when she ate
chocolate and the sigh she made whenever the couple finally got
together in one of those horrible movies she made me watch.

God, she felt good. Everywhere, every part of
her that was in contact with any part of me felt so fucking
good.

“Lane, tell me you’re doing okay.” Both of us
were in uncharted territory. She’d never handed herself over to an
idiot she didn’t have feelings for, and I’d never been this close
to sleeping with someone I knew even moderately well and liked a
hell of a lot.

In my experience, there was a point when the
flirting and conversation went on too long, crossing from “I really
want to get you under me” territory into the “I really want to get
to know you” zone. Lane and I were way past that point. I was
counting on us being so far beyond that point that things had
looped around again. But that was somewhere I’d never dared go.

She still hadn’t answered.

I pulled away from her, catching her chin in
my hand to hold her back. “Talk to me. No emotions, right?”

“Right.” Is there anything sexier than a
breathless woman? “Am I not allowed to like you, either?”

“You can like me all you want, as long as you
remember this is nothing more than two people who can make each
other feel good.”

“You keep saying that, but I have yet to see
any proof you can actually do it.”

“Oooh, you have no idea what you’re in
for.”

Her eyes flashed wide, and her fists went
limp and fell from my collar. “We’ll go slowly, right?”

“Yeah.” I caught her hands and put them back
around my neck where they belonged, waiting until she understood
their place before I let go. “As long as we’re going in the right
direction, we can go as slowly as you want. What’s my stopping
point gonna be?”