Darkest Before Dawn (51 page)

Evie got to her feet, but before she could reach the door it burst open and a tall figure, muffled to the eyebrows in coat, scarf and woolly hat, came running up the stairs talking all the while. ‘Ma, Evie, Uncle Arthur! My divorce is through and they've closed my school because the boiler burst, so I've got a week off . . . well, probably more than a week because the plumber said he couldn't do anything about mending the boiler until the thaw sets in, and that could be a month or more away. And wouldn't you know it? My darling Ed has been told to stay in Egypt because he wouldn't be able to land back on his airfield anyway. So I thought I'd come and see you all, and give you the good news.' Seraphina had been smiling, but suddenly the smile disappeared to be replaced by a look of puzzlement. ‘Oh, I'm awfully sorry. Are you just off out somewhere? And why the candles? Gosh, it's cold in here.'

Martha got to her feet, shaking her head indulgently as she hugged her eldest daughter. ‘Darling Fee, it's lovely to see you and I'm so glad you've got your divorce. But you must know that the electricity situation is desperate, so the government keeps cutting off supplies. And don't tell me you've got tons and tons of coal down in Devon because we've got none at all, so we can't have a fire.'

‘We're not on mains electricity, remember,' Seraphina said, rather smugly. ‘We have oil lamps all the time and my landlady has got woodburning stoves, one in the kitchen and one in the living room. All the lodgers – there are four of us – spend a good while at weekends collecting wood. The men saw up fallen trees and us girls forage for branches and twigs, so we're not too badly off. You poor things!'

‘Oh, we do all right, by and large,' Evie said defensively. ‘And anyway, the winter can't last for ever, can it? The thing is, they've cut everyone's hours at the office – we're all working a four-day week – and a lot of our schools are closed, too. So there's a good deal of chaos about.'

‘Yes, it has been awful; I do read the papers,' Seraphina said. ‘In a way, I'm glad Eddie's out of it, lucky beggar, only I get lonely, knowing he's so far away. And though I know he'll be warmer than we are, he might be in awful danger. But I write to him every week and he writes back, so at least we're in regular touch.'

‘What about Toby? Don't you ever write to him?' Evie said, rather reproachfully. ‘He's stuck up in a signal box, somewhere in the fells, and I heard on the wireless that the snow's so deep there, whole villages are cut off. Why, they're having to send supplies in by aeroplane . . . even hay for the horses and the sheep, because of course they can't get at the grass, not through all that snow.'

‘Oh? I didn't know Toby ate grass,' Seraphina said flippantly. ‘He'll be all right. What's a bit of snow when you're snug inside a signal box? It isn't as though he were actually working on the line, like a plate layer, and besides, he came out of Burma all right, didn't he? I shouldn't worry myself about him, if I were you.'

Evie took a deep breath, feeling fury well up inside her. ‘You don't know anything about him, Seraphina Todd,' she said furiously. ‘You've never even seen him since he's come home, because you couldn't be bothered to change your leave that first Christmas. And that's why you don't know that his face was cut open by one of the Jap guards, or how horribly thin he was—'

‘What have I said?' Seraphina cut in, looking injured. ‘Toby was my friend when we were both kids. The only reason he was friendlier with me than with the rest of you is because we were the same age. Now, so far as I'm concerned, he's a part of my past like Bertie from the
April Lady
, or Clem Gilligan from the
Liverpool Rose
.' She turned and glared at Evie. ‘Do you write to Clem and Lizzie? Do you exchange postcards with Bertie? ‘I bet you don't, so how dare you criticise me for not running round after Toby?'

‘You know very well that Toby was in love with you and still is, despite your horrid ways,' Evie shouted. ‘You and your Eddie had a pretty soft sort of war but Toby had an appalling time, worse than you could possibly imagine. He was starved, tortured, made to work like a slave, even when he was ill. Just think about that, Seraphina Todd, before you make up your mind to marry that Eddie!'

‘I am
not
Seraphina Todd, I'm Seraphina Truelove, and if Toby is fool enough to be in love with someone he's not seen for years, then that's his business.' Seraphina's cheeks were scarlet. ‘And if he told you how he was treated by the Japs, then he had no right to do so. If you ask me, you take up the cudgels too quickly on his behalf.' She grabbed Evie by the shoulders and stared very hard into her sister's flushed and furious face. ‘Why, I do believe you're in love with him yourself!'

‘I'm not, and he never told me anything. I heard it from other people,' Evie screamed wildly. ‘As for being a Truelove . . . don't make me laugh! The only person you truly love, Seraphina, is yourself!'

‘Girls, girls . . .' Arthur Wilmslow said, rising to his feet. He turned to his wife. ‘Whatever brought this on? Do stop them, my dear, before—'

‘Evie! Seraphina! Behave yourselves . . .' Martha began, but it was already too late. Seraphina had slapped Evie hard across the face and was endeavouring to shake her, holding tight to both shoulders again, whilst Evie's small, booted feet clunked relentlessly into her sister's shins. Martha ran round the table just as Arthur did, and seized Evie whilst Arthur grabbed hold of Seraphina. They managed to separate the two, though not before each had inflicted damage on the other. Seraphina's golden hair, which had been caught up in a shining bun on the back of her head, had come loose and Evie's right cheek was scarlet, whilst her left was paper white.

‘You're a horrible, horrible girl, Fee, and it will serve you right if beastly Eddie treats you the way your first husband did,' Evie raged. ‘I hate you, I hate you!' She was still furious and, but for Martha's grip on her, would have returned to the attack once more, but it seemed that her elder sister was beginning to calm down. She had shaken herself free from Arthur's grip and now approached Evie, albeit cautiously.

‘I don't know what started all this, but I'm truly sorry I slapped your face. It was a horrid, unladylike thing to do,' she said remorsefully. ‘And I'm sorry if anything I said hurt your feelings, because I'm sure I didn't mean to. But it's not wrong to love someone, you know. You were always fond of Toby; you were the one who stayed with him all night when he came back from Dunkirk. And you were the one who wrote and wrote and went on writing, even when he couldn't send so much as a line in reply because he was a POW of those wicked Japs.' She leaned over and very gently kissed the cheek upon which her finger marks showed in long scarlet weals. ‘Please forgive me, darling little Evie.'

There was a long, doubtful silence, then Evie carefully disengaged herself from Martha's grip and patted her sister's hand. ‘It's all right; I think we were both a bit mad,' she said gruffly. ‘But . . . do you truly mean that Toby has no chance with you? Not even if he were to come here, some time in the next week, and tell you he loves you and wants to marry you? Because I'm sure he does,' she ended, with more than a trace of defiance.

Seraphina sat down on one of the kitchen chairs and shook her head. ‘No, I'm afraid there's no one for me but Eddie,' she assured her sister. ‘And the chances of Toby getting back here are pretty slight, you know. The railways are in complete chaos because of the terrible weather; it's taken me twenty-six hours to get here from Devon, so I can't see Toby, who is even further north, making it in under a week. But never mind that, darling Evie. Let's talk about weddings. I'd love you to be my bridesmaid, and Eddie's managed to get hold of a length of parachute silk which we'll have made up for you, just as soon as you give me the word. It's white, of course, but it can be dyed cream, or blue, or pink, if you would prefer that. Do say you will.'

Evie had gone over to the teapot which stood on the draining board and was pouring her sister a cup of tea; now she looked across at her and smiled a trifle tremulously. ‘If anyone wears parachute silk, it should be the bride,' she pointed out. ‘But don't let's discuss it now; after all, you can't marry anyone just yet.'

Next morning, Evie was up bright and early, when it was still dark. She had had a restless night for her mind kept worrying at the necessity to get a message to Toby, to reach him somehow. Yet if Seraphina was speaking the truth – and she had never known her sister to lie – there was no point in telling Toby that Seraphina was now free. It would be like offering a child a bar of chocolate and then snatching it away. In her own mind, however, it was important that Toby should know how things stood, perhaps even important that he should know Seraphina was now beyond his reach.

When she heard her mother stealing towards the kitchen, she slid out of bed, grabbed her clothes from the chair upon which she had tossed them the previous night, and hastened in the same direction. Martha looked round, surprised to find that anyone was up beside herself. ‘Evie! Do you know what the time is? You don't need to get up for another half hour at least . . . I was going to make a pot of tea and take everyone a cup. Is Fee still asleep?'

‘Yes, and snoring,' Evie said. To her own surprise, she found that all her doubts had somehow resolved themselves in the brief period of sleep she had enjoyed before being awoken by her mother's stirring. ‘I told you last night that I wasn't needed in the office for the next couple of days, didn't I? Well, I hope you don't mind, Ma, but I'm going to try to reach that Gawdale place where Toby lodges. I need to speak to him, to tell him that Fee and Eddie are going to get married.'

Martha, setting out cups on the table, turned round, astonished eyes on her daughter. ‘But Evie, love, you heard what Fee said last night; the railways are in chaos and you must know from listening to the news on the wireless that the roads are the same. You could try sending a telegram but you can't possibly go yourself. Truly, love, I simply can't allow it. It won't help anyone if your body is found frozen stiff and dead as a doornail by the side of some country road.'

‘I'll try sending a telegram first,' Evie said. ‘But if there's no chance of a telegram getting through then I must at least try. But I promise you, I won't take unnecessary risks, and I'll keep in touch. I know a lot of telephone wires are down but there are bound to be some still working, so if I can I'll ring you each evening.'

‘Evie, you're eighteen years old, which is still a child in the eyes of the law,' Martha said, with what firmness she could muster. ‘I forbid you to risk your life on a wild goose chase. Go to the telegraph office by all means; go down to Lime Street and ask the stationmaster if he can get a message through to a signal box on the LMS line. And then come home. Is that clear?'

‘Yes, Ma; I'll do as you say,' Evie said humbly. And presently, well wrapped up in every warm garment she possessed, she slid out of the house. Following instructions, she went to the telegraph office first but to no avail, so she trudged to the station. There were some trains still running but the station staff offered little hope of her reaching such a wild and desolate destination as Gawdale. By now, however, Evie was grimly determined. She went to the Post Office and drew out all her savings, then returned to the station where she bought sandwiches and some suspicious-looking rock cakes from the refreshment room. Then she boarded a train heading north. It was crowded with worried people, all discussing the fearful weather, all anxious to reach their destinations yet doubtful of doing so. Evie, always at ease with her fellow men, was soon on good terms with everyone else in the carriage. She settled back in her corner seat and wondered how many hours would pass before she had to leave the train and take to the road, in the hope of a lift of some description. She knew that the army had been mobilised to try to get supplies through to stricken villages and decided that, if the worst came to the worst, she would act like the page in Good King Wenceslas and dog the army's footsteps. Of course, this would only work if they were heading for Gawdale, but there was no point in meeting trouble halfway. Evie closed her eyes and presently drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Toby had not been surprised when Tom had not turned up that first night, and when he looked out of the signal box at the conditions raging outside he was not surprised when no one appeared on the second day, either, nor had he been particularly worried. He had plenty of coal to keep the Russell stove alight, enough food for the time being, if he was careful, and a pile of books to keep him amused, as well as the letter he was writing to Evie, adding a little bit each day.

On the morning of the third day, he decided that he would try to fight his way through to the nearest stream because he needed water. Melting snow was a slow and tedious business, but he would take an axe and cut himself a big square of ice since the stream was bound to be frozen. Accordingly, he set off, the axe under one arm and the rucksack slung over his shoulder, for he did not intend to touch the ice more than he had to, but would put it straight into the rucksack. During the night, the blizzard had eased and finally stopped, and the morning was brilliant. To be sure, the wind still gusted, whirling snow off the heavily laden trees to make miniature blizzards of its own, but the pale sun cheered him and gave great beauty to the vast white snowscape of the fells and valleys. The sunshine was golden, the shadows blue, and once he climbed down from the signal box Toby spent a moment or two just staring. Then he began to struggle towards the stream. He reached it after an hour's hard clambering, hacked out a big block of ice, then had to split it into three pieces to get it into the rucksack before turning for home. He was halfway back to the box when he had a piece of luck. He saw something half buried in the snow beside the tracks he had made on the way out and was now following back, and on digging it out found it was a rabbit, dead and frozen stiff, but still in reasonably good condition. Toby jammed it into the pocket of his heavy coat; rabbit stew would make a delicious change from his diet of corned beef and baked beans.