Darkness Awakened (Primal Heat Trilogy #1) (Order of the Blade) (10 page)

Nate thoughtfully rubbed his palm over one of the bloodstains. “Your sister’s here?”

Ana flinched as he trailed the edge of his blade down the back of her bare arm, even though she knew the threat of violence from him was over for the moment. The illusion had happened, so there was no more need to hurt her. For now.

She would never betray her sister’s presence to him. Never. “No, she’s not here,” she lied. “I was just thinking that she’d be shocked if she saw the fire I’d made. She thinks I’m so innocent.” And so had she. God, she never thought she could become the person Nate had turned her into.

Nate had made it very clear what he planned to do to Ana once he deemed her usefulness over, and she knew Nate would have no reason to keep from acting his fantasies out on her sister. He spoke of love and peace, and acted with violence. So creepy. So terrifying.

He’d brought Ana tonight so she would create an illusion that would draw yet another Calydon out into the open, distracted and injured, so Nate could kill him, if her illusion didn’t kill him first.

But tonight Grace had created the fire before Ana’s illusion had manifested, and no one had come out of the house for Nate to kill. Why was Grace at a Calydon’s house? But even as she asked the question, Ana knew the answer.
She’s coming after me.

Her knees trembled and her throat tightened with emotion, overwhelmed by the fact that Grace hadn’t forgotten about her, hadn’t condemned her for the string of bodies she’d left behind.

But as much as Ana wanted to get away from Nate, as desperate as she was for help, as much as she wanted to cry with relief at the thought of Grace coming to rescue her, the idea of Grace endangering herself to help Ana terrified her. No one else could die trying to help her. No one else.
Please, Grace, don’t come after me,
she whispered silently, knowing her sister could never hear her, but needing to tell her anyway.
I can’t bear the burden of your death if you get hurt trying to save me. Please, please, please just hide and take care of yourself.

Ana could survive anything, as long as she knew Grace was safe. Her sister was all she had left in this world, all that had survived their terrible childhood, their curses. Her parents had died saving her life after she’d made a grievous mistake. No one else could die trying to protect her.
No one else.

“I like the fire,” Nate said. “Do it next time.”

Ana closed her eyes as a shudder racked through her body. She had no control over the illusions Nate forced out of her, and she’d never created a fire. Now that he thought she could do it, he’d try to force it out of her like he’d done all the others.

God, that moment, that first moment when she’d seen that awful image fill the night sky, and she’d realized that she’d created it… A part of her soul had shattered right then.

Ana had always known emotional distress brought out Grace’s illusions. She’d understood that darkness created darkness. But she’d always been spared. She’s always been able to stem her family’s tide of hell with her own light. When Nate had taken her to that first Calydon’s home and ordered her to generate something deadly, she’d been so happy with her inability to do so, so relieved that the only part of her that was good had somehow survived being thrust into Nate’s world.

Then he’d brought the knife, his fists, and he’d showed her exactly what she really was: a fraud whose happy illusions were a lie, a cover for who she was: a monster who created images far more horrific than her sister’s ever had been.

Ana was a monster who’d spent her life hiding behind butterflies.

The first time she’d seen a man die because of what she’d done, she’d been violently sick for days, horrified by who she was and what she’d done. She’d fought not to do it again, how she’d fought for rainbows and roses, but she’d been no match for Nate’s persuasions.

She rubbed her hand over the newest bruise on her forearm, almost wishing she could create hell at will to avoid the beatings, but they still came out butterflies and roses until he tortured her so badly that her illusions would finally unleash their darkest evil to try to save her life.

Ana had tried repeatedly to turn her illusions onto Nate, but he’d never been affected by them, which she didn’t understand. She was at the top of the food chain when it came to illusions. She’d never met anyone who was immune to hers when they were at full force, because she was so powerful. Before Grace had stopped doing illusions, Ana had been even more powerful than her big sister. But Nate wasn’t affected. Why? Illusions were her only weapon, and they were useless against him.

It had been a terrible, disheartening moment of lost hope when she’d finally realized she had no way to protect herself against him.

“Come on.” Nate took her arm, his fingers digging into her aching muscles as he lifted his blade in eager anticipation. She would heal slower tonight, because she hadn’t done an illusion, which meant she would still be hurting the next time Nate went hunting with her. “Quinn must be down from smoke inhalation. We’ll clean up the mess Elijah failed to finish. I won’t let Elijah screw up my plans.”

“What plans?” As always, Nate ignored her inquiry, and she tensed as he dragged her through the woods, through the underbrush that was so green and vibrant that it made her want to cry. She trailed her fingers over the damp leaves, trying to focus on the beauty of nature, trying to tear her mind and her soul away from the horror she was becoming.

As long as she could still touch beauty, Ana had hope that she could still find her way back to who she used to be, who she wanted to be. Nate tugged her forward, and a leaf tore off in her fingers, the broken piece fluttering silently to the ground.

Her legs shaking from exhaustion, Ana stumbled, righting herself before Nate could use it as an excuse to grab at her again.
I can survive this. I know I can.

She winced as he thumbed over her wrist, a tender, intimate gesture that made her stomach turn. “Oh, my little sweetness, I’m so glad to share this experience with you. I would have done my job anyway, but having you to play with while I do it...” Nate smiled. “You are the sunshine that the world deserves.”

“Then let me be sunshine!” She jerked her hand free of his grasp, and his smile vanished.

He grabbed her and threw her up against a tree, pinning her against the wet bark. “You are not better than me,” he snapped, his face cold, his eyes simmering with fury. “I’m tired of your attitude. You keep rejecting my kindness, and you’ll get what you deserve when this is over.” His upper lip sneered, showcasing perfect white teeth that had no business on a man with his tainted soul.

“Once this is over, you’ll be dead,” she shot back. She wasn’t giving up. She’d find a way to get away from him, to kill him for what he’d done to her. She blanched at the thought. Oh, God, no, not
kill
. She couldn’t kill. Not ever again. Those kinds of thoughts weren’t hers. She was becoming a monster, the worst of her kind. Tears slid down her cheeks, tears at the loss of who she wanted to be, at the destruction of the self-image she’d carried of herself her whole life.

His brow went up. “Once this is over, I’ll be far more powerful than you could ever imagine. You’ll see exactly how worthy I am.” He pulled her close, until his breath was hot on her face, making her stomach roil. “Do you think I’m doing this just to amuse myself? Because I get a thrill out of knocking you around and killing Calydons?” He grinned. “I admit, it’s a hell of a high to take out these bastards who think they’re better than I am, but that’s not why I’m doing it. It’s a bigger cause, one that you, of all people, should understand.” He sneered at her as he stepped away and yanked her toward the house. “Unless you aren’t the pure soul you keep claiming you are.”

“What bigger cause? What do you want?” If Ana had some idea of what was driving him, maybe she could find a weakness and find a way to exploit it.

“A world where peace and harmony prevail, of course.” Nate hauled her up the steps to the front door, not giving her any slack when she tripped and cracked her shin on the top step.

“Peace and harmony? You’re going to get that by beating me and murdering people?” Ana challenged as she rubbed her shin, hoping to goad him into giving up something she could use against him. Now that she knew Grace was searching for her, she was infused with a new desperation. She had to escape before Grace was pulled into her mess and hurt, or even worse, killed. This wasn’t just about her anymore. It was about keeping someone else she loved from dying for her.

“Peace and harmony are worth all the costs to achieve them.” Nate placed his blade at her back and forced her through the door first, so she would take the first blow if their target was waiting for them.

Ana bit her lip, her heart racing as she stepped across the threshold.
Please, Grace, don’t be here. Please tell me you got away.

She walked into the small cabin, fear clogging her throat as she frantically scanned the area, praying with all her heart that she wouldn’t see her sister. A bed was sprawled crookedly across the floor, a bottle of water was upended on the floor, a fire was fading in the fireplace.

No one was there.
No Grace.
The house was empty. There was no one to die for her. No one to kill. No one to rescue her.

For a split second, the anguish of stark loneliness and terror welled up inside Ana. The emotional devastation of knowing she’d been so close to her sister and had lost her crashed down on her, and Ana staggered under the weight of what she was facing.

But as Nate swore in frustration and tore through the cabin searching for the prey that got away, Ana closed her eyes and fought back the anguish, forcing herself to be strong, to feel brave.

Grace and the warrior had gotten away. Without prey to kill, Nate would have no reason to beat Ana.

Tonight, no one else would die. This time, she would not have to cross that line into the person she was terrified of becoming. For one evening, she’d been given a respite.

Slowly, Ana sank to her knees, too exhausted to stand, knowing that the cycle would begin again, repeating itself unless she could find a way to stop it.