Darkness Becomes Her (22 page)

Everything he felt now, for her—all the loss, his guilt—swamped him. He’d never released any of it, not his mother’s death and his part in it, not his father’s death. Like Jessie with her tears, he’d held it in, thinking he was stronger for it. When he’d held her, and encouraged her to let loose, he’d only felt her strength. Losing Jessie ripped open the floodgate. He heaved in great breaths, pressing his face against her soft skin, feeling moisture slide down his temple.

Chapter 22

J
essie felt the Darkness seep into her, and then suck her soul through what felt like a long dark pipe. Suddenly she stood in a chamber in the Void.

No, not the Void!

She looked down at herself. Thank God not buried in the wall. The gray, pulsing folds shuddered. No, not the folds; the whole place shook in violent tremors. The chamber was so small now, there was barely room for her to spin around. She did turn, expecting her mother to be gone.

Calista was still in the wall, even less of her face visible. She didn’t say anything for several seconds. Because she was waiting to go. Then a hesitant smile. “Baby.”

Jessie narrowed her eyes. “Were you expecting to be zapped into my body?”

“Wh-What?”

“You knew, didn’t you? It wasn’t going to take a pint of my blood to bring you back. You needed all of my blood, my bones.” She spread her hands. “Everything.”

“Don’t be preposterous, darling. I would never come back at your expense.”

Jessie wanted to believe her, ached to believe her, but the heaviness in her heart and heat behind her eyes told her that she didn’t. She had her answer, but a new question as well: why hadn’t her mother disappeared?

Calista must be wondering the same thing, but her puzzlement morphed to panic when another tremor shook the place. “What’s happening?”

“Don’t you mean, what’s not happening?”

“This place is falling apart.”

Was the heartbeat louder? Faster? Yet another tremor shook, sending Jessie off balance.

Calista’s gaze shifted to someone behind her, and she spun to find Russell.

“Russellmylove,” Calista said, mashing all the words together into an endearment. “Why didn’t it work? I started coming in . . . it was supposed to work this time.”

So she knew. It hurt, God it hurt. Jessie waited for Russell’s answer.

His glare speared Jessie. “You
are
here. I had only just begun the soul transfer when your boyfriend popped in out of nowhere. And I do mean
nowhere
. And he brought a friend.”

Lachlan. But how had he found out so soon and gotten there so fast? Pope, the one who could teletransport. Had to be.

That hard look in Russell’s eyes softened as he neared Calista. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. As you can see, I’m halfway there. The boyfriend didn’t have magic this time, but the man with him is from where I’m from. He can teletransport, and in the blink of an eye he took Jessie’s body. But I will find it. If I can’t, I still have a backup plan.”

Jessie turned to her mother. “He’s talking about a teenage girl! Did you know that? Would you steal her life away, too? Or does it matter, as long as the two of you are together?”

Her mother’s face contorted. “Don’t throw that moral crap at me. What about
my
life? Does that not count? I’ve spent fifteen years in this purgatory. It’s my turn to live again!”

Maybe this hell, and her desperation, had driven Calista crazy. Jessie backed away, disgusted by both of them. “If you don’t care about taking your daughter’s body, or all those other women, or a teenage girl, then know that Hayley has muscular dystrophy. So you’ll have it, too.” She had one last chance to save Hayley.

“I don’t care. Look at me. Anything is better than this.”

Anything. Jessie turned to Russell. “Make it work. I don’t want you touching that girl.”
Damn you, Lachlan. You had to go and be a hero, didn’t you? Everything would have been fine if you’d found your phone just a few minutes later.

The room shook, harder this time, and Calista let out a scream. “What’s going on? Why is the Void shaking?”

“I don’t know,” Russell said. “Maybe it’s overloaded with both you and Henry in here, almost swallowed up. There’s too much emotion, yours, his, hers.” He pointed to Jessie.

Calista’s voice pitched into a high screech. “It’s going to explode! We’ll all die here.”

Jessie slid in between the folds, escaping the chamber and the horrible people inside it.

“Can she get out?” she heard her mother ask.

“No.”

The organs breathed, pressing against her and muffling their conversation.

“. . . last time she had a rope. It’s what helped her to get out of here. But she doesn’t have it this time.”

Squeezing her eyes shut at her mother’s—her own mother’s—callousness and selfishness, she pushed on as soon as she could. What if she never found her dad? What if he was gone by the time she got there? Panicked thoughts flitted through her mind. She endured the press of flesh against her and the horrid sound of the breathing. So much scarier navigating without the rope.

Better get used to it. You’re never getting out of here.

Olaf wouldn’t come. She’d seen his fear of the place, felt it herself. She was not worth coming in for as far as he was concerned. Lachlan had messed everything up, and now both he and Hayley were in danger again. Unless the Void destroyed itself first.

She felt her father’s energy, as she had before. She pushed through, faster, and finally stepped into the chamber.

“Daddy!” She ran to him, touching the tip of his fingers. All she could see of him now was the area that included his eyes, nose, and mouth. “Oh, God.”

“Allybean, I told you not to come back.” He looked behind her. “Where’s the rope?”

She opened her mouth to tell him everything. Words stopped in her throat, and she just shook her head.

She felt an odd tingling sensation above her right hip. Blindly, she felt the ridges of the cross, blazing as though it had been touched by a low voltage wire. She pressed her hand over it. “You gave me this symbol to protect me. And it did. But it was never about the symbol, was it?”

“No. It was easier for a child to believe in a symbol than in some scary thing inside her. But it was all you. Ally, tell me what’s going on.”

The place trembled again. “Russell thinks the Void is overloaded with our emotions. My mother’s afraid it’ll explode.”

“Your . . . you saw her, didn’t you? I didn’t want you to know she was here.”

“She was trying to trade her soul for mine.” Her voice broke on those words.

“That can’t be.” He saw that she was serious. “No. I can’t believe she’d do that.”

Jessie tried to take a step closer to him. Her legs wouldn’t move. Panic clawed at her. The floor had clamped onto her feet! She pulled, hardly able to breathe.

“Oh, Allybean, I wish I could help.”

Another violent shake made her stumble and fall to the floor. The gray mass grabbed onto her knees, her hands. She fought, crying, screaming, but it had her. Exhausted, she rested her head near the tips of his toes. “It will be over soon, Daddy. Do you remember when we used to cook together?”

He didn’t answer for a second, probably confused as to why she was bringing that up now. Then he obviously got it. “Yes, I do. What was your favorite meal?”

“Fried chicken. We made such a mess, but it was so good.” She smiled. “What was yours?”

Connected to the floor, she felt every shudder even more. She kept her focus on her memories, though, and her father’s words. That would get her through until it was over.

L
achlan traced tracks through the moisture on Jessie’s stomach. His tears. So foreign to him, so useless. Because they couldn’t bring her back. Thirty minutes had passed and they’d changed nothing.

Lachlan felt Olaf’s energy return in a rush.

“Och, ye’re killing me, cousin.”

“Unless you’ve changed your mind about helping, I’m not in the mood for you.”

“Ye pulled me to ye. I’ve never felt anything like what you’re feeling. It’s . . .”

Lachlan could see his beefy hand ball into a fist as he tried to find the right words. “Bone-deep grief,” he supplied. “Muscle-tearing frustration. Gut-wrenching—”

“I got it, I got it. For the lass. She’s permeated your thoughts and everything about ye.”

“She’s gone.”

“Dead?”

“No, in the Void. Her soul is trapped there for God knows how long.”

“Love.”

Lachlan moved his hand to her chest and could feel her heartbeat, still strong and steady. “What?”

“That’s the strongest feeling I get from ye. More than all that other dreck. Love. I had lassies, aye, but never felt like this.”

“Me either.” His voice came out hoarse, raw.

Silence hovered between them for several seconds.

“You’re right,” Olaf said. “I did run. I was a coward.”

Lachlan stroked across her skin with the tips of his fingers. “We all do cowardly things. It’s part of being human.”

“I let them down. Left them to be slaughtered.”

“If you’d stayed, would it have made a difference? The enemy had artillery, you had swords. Your men would have died anyway, likely. You would have died.”

“Then I grabbed onto you to avoid the Light. Another cowardly act.” Olaf gave a ragged sigh. “At least I got to fight with ye, got to feel a woman’s body again, got to fall in love. It was worth it.”

“Now you get to feel what it’s like to lose someone you love.”

“That part’s no’ so good.” Olaf rubbed at his eyes. “I didna think I could cry in this state.”

“I’m surprised you were brave enough to come back.”

“Nae, ye dinna understand. Feeling your pain . . . ye let me cry.”

“Glad I could oblige.” Lachlan’s voice sounded hollow to his own ears, devoid of emotion now. But Olaf was still here. Hope flickered in the darkness of his soul. “Maybe you could do something for me.”

“Go to the Void? Ye dinna know what that place is like.”

“No, but she did. She went anyway to save her father.”

He grunted. “Aye, she’s the bravest warrior I’ve ever known.”

Lachlan knew better than to poke at Olaf’s ego or the sore that was still so raw, especially if he had any hope of getting him to help. Neither bullying nor begging had worked before. He let those words settle instead.

“An’ I had my moments, in clan clashes. I took heads. I faced death and wasna afraid. Only at the end, and I paid the price for that.”

“If you could go back to that battle, would you stand?”

“I would fight to the end.”

“You have another chance to hold fast. Right here.” He tipped Jessie’s face so Olaf could see her. Her innocence. Those apple cheeks. “You can save this brave warrior. You don’t have to go in the Void. Just take me there.”

Silence. Lachlan held back any more words. He’d never been good at finessing people. Now Jessie’s life depended on it.

“Ye said there was no hell up there.”

The light flickered even more.

“Look at your life. Constant battles. Treachery. Wasn’t that hell?”

“Aye.”

“But that was the way of it back then. No matter what you’ve done, you can make it right.”

“What if it doesna work? Or ye canna find her or bring her back? Or ye get stuck there, too?”

“Then you come back here. With my soul gone, maybe you can come back into me.” As soon as the words were out, he regretted it. What if Olaf cut him loose in the Void intending to take over his body? “Or you go on. It’s time, Olaf. So do this one thing before you go.”

Another few seconds of silence. Every cell in Lachlan’s body froze, waiting.

“All right. I’ll do it.”

Lachlan wanted to shout in joy but kept it in. Olaf was still a wild card. He would have to put his ultimate trust in an entity who hadn’t always been trustworthy. He’d do it a hundred times if it meant bringing Jessie back. He sat up, cradling her in his lap.

“Thank you.”

“I’ll come back and haunt ye if I end up in hell.”

“Deal. How does this work? Do we clasp hands?”

“Nae, we’re attached already. Just hold on.”

Everything disappeared, including Lachlan’s physicality. His stomach churned, which was strange since he had no body. They spun blindly through chowder-thick, dark fog. Then, up ahead, light filtered through, and he felt Olaf’s anxiety tingle through him as they veered away from it. The Light, then.

What they headed toward, as the fog thinned, produced even more anxiety. A black sphere floating in nothingness. It shook and flickered as though it contained a great lightning storm.
That
was hell right there. She never said she’d been afraid, but if he felt fear, she probably had, too.

“It wasna doing that before, the shaking business.”

That wasn’t good.

Olaf pointed to a place that looked different from the rest of the sphere. “There, that’s how she went in.” He rolled out a golden rope. “Tie it onto ye. It’s the only way ba—” He looked behind him as light washed over them, like sun streaming through a break in the clouds. “Hurry. I’ll no’ be waitin’ here if ye take too long.”

What would happen if Olaf went to the Light while he was in the Void?
Don’t think about that.

Remembering Jessie telling him how the rope came loose as she tried to free her father, Lachlan wrapped it around his wrist several times and floated toward the opening. As he reached it, the sphere trembled again. He pushed his way inside. She’d said she could feel her father’s energy and followed it to him. Lachlan tuned in and felt her. He knew about timing his progress between breaths, about the fleshy folds. Seeing them made him admire her even more for going back the second time.

He heard a woman screaming but knew it wasn’t Jessie. Her mother, then. He followed Jessie’s energy to the left, impatient with each breath he had to wait through. Finally, he broke through into a room barely big enough to contain him . . . and Jessie, lying on the floor with a panicked and now shocked expression. Relief rocked him.

But she didn’t look at all relieved. “No! Please, go, Lachlan. It will suck you in. Now I know how my dad felt when he saw me here. Please, go.”

“Not without you.”

“I’m already stuck. You can’t get me out.”

“Hell I can’t.” He pulled her arms, struggling to free her. She was right; the gray mass on the floor held her tight.

“I’ve already tried everything possible to free Dad. Just go.”

He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you, Jess.” That’s when he saw the man, or what was visible of him, in the wall. It was more gruesome than he’d imagined.