Darkness Fair (The Dark Cycle Book 2) (17 page)

THIRTY

Rebecca

There’s no way to process or understand it all. There just isn’t. Does that man—Aidan’s father—really know my future? And now Aidan says that demon from before is somewhere close again. What did he call the thing? Hunger? Shivers roll over me and I hug my legs to my chest, snuggling deeper into my blankets.

I’m lying here, watching Connor sleep sitting up, as I try to sort everything out in my mind. But order isn’t exactly happening. Nothing’s going into its proper place. Nothing fits. My head aches from trying. There’s been a strange pain behind my eyes since Aidan’s father touched my forehead with oil, and it just keeps getting more horrible the longer I lie here, thinking about everything. I consider taking one of the little blue pills that the psychiatrist prescribed for my “depression” and “anxiety,” but I hate how they make me feel. Or not feel, I should say.

I just need food. Or a run. I need something.

Holly was up a while ago, off to summer school, so I can’t convince her to distract me. She wasn’t happy about our intruder, Connor, but I convinced her to leave him in his awkward position and let him sleep. Of course, Connor would probably prefer his bed to the way he’s “sleeping” right now, on Holly’s Hello Kitty desk chair with his feet propped up on the foot of my bed. He’s being a horrible watchdog, in this state.

And I’m sick of lying here, thinking the same things over and over.

“Hey.” I sit up and tap his foot. He has really long toes.

He grunts, annoyed.

“Take me somewhere.”

His eyes open halfway and he gives me a
what is wrong with you?
look.

“Don’t you have class today?” he asks. “At some rich-kid music academy?”

“There’s no way I can pretend I’m normal after last night.”

He just looks at me like he’s not sure what to do with me.

“I know. I’m a hilarious mess. Can you please take me out? If not now, later, after you get some sleep? Maybe to the mall or something?”

He rolls his eyes.

“Or the beach, maybe?”

He tilts his head like he might actually be considering that request.

“Yes!” I say, feeling like I hit the right note. “You can surf. We both can!”

His eyes widen. “You surf?”

“Don’t look so shocked, Bodyguard. I’m a CaliGirl.”

He’s still looking at me like he’s not buying it.

“Okay, fine, I surf a
little
.”

“Enough to kill yourself, probably.”

“You can teach me, then. Charlie was—” I stop, my throat clogging up. I try to force it all deep down again, shaking myself back into focus. “I mean, I just need a refresher.”

He’s studying me like he does, with those honest eyes. “Okay, we can go for a little while. But I have to be back this afternoon to check on a job.”

I smile in victory, feeling thrilled to be doing something totally normal and familiar in the midst of all the crazy.

“You shower. And I’ll find a bathing suit in Holly’s closet.”

“Calm down, CaliGirl,” he says, trying to hide a smile as he stands up, stretching. “It’s just some saltwater and sand.” He’s even taller as he reaches up like a cat in the sun. I try not to notice the small strip of flesh that shows at his belly.

I move to Holly’s closet in case I blush. “I can get ready quick, so don’t be a diva in the shower.”

“I’m getting in the ocean. I don’t need a shower.”

I turn back to him, giving him a look that says I disagree. “After being at the club last night? Aren’t you feeling sticky?”

He shrugs.

“Well, I’m showering.” I turn back to the closet, opening a drawer to start my search. “Last night was just too . . . ick.” Between sweating on the dance floor, then having my head anointed by some mysterious Aidan-double, I feel like I’ll need to turn inside out to get clean.

“There’s a drought, you know. It’s polite to try saving water.”

I spot polka dots and pull a bikini top from a tangle of underwear. “It’s also polite not to smell like a dead rat.” I hold up the top and wave it at him. “Now leave so I can do girl things.”

Connor’s gaze averts and he looks uncomfortable. He slips on his flip-flops, mumbling, “Right,” before turning to leave the room. “I’ll load up the Jeep.”

THIRTY-ONE

Aidan

I wake in a rush, my skin chilled and damp, as if I really was standing in the tide a moment ago, like it wasn’t a dream.

Lester . . . the sight of him like that, tortured, lost . . . It makes everything in me shake. The vision replays over and over in my mind.

Look what you’ve done!

It echoes, making the brands on my soul burn. Memories circle me like a beast ready to devour me again. My dagger sliding into Lester’s neck, my palms coated in his blood. Ava’s blood on my hands as I pull the blade from her tiny chest. My mother’s blood, a dark shadow spreading over my life. So much blood. So many things gone wrong.

I turn over and look at Kara, making sure last night wasn’t a dream. The bad memories begin to fade as I study her.

She’s facing away from me, the curves of her body outlined by the sheet. Perfection I can hold in my hands. I want to touch her but I don’t want to wake her. There are too many emotions inside me right now. Wonder and remorse, amazement and guilt; it’s all jumbled, thinking of what we did.

What I want to do again.

What we never should’ve done in the first place.

Afterward, there was a moment when I thought she was going to cry, but she just clung to me and kissed me, and all I could do was hold her in amazement. The terrified girl I kissed that night a month ago seemed to have disappeared entirely. She was all warmth and hunger beside me in the darkness. The only sorrow and pain in that bed was my own. I don’t know why or how, but this time it was Kara comforting me. Her heart seemed unburdened, even as I handed her my own troubles, telling her what had happened, every detail I’ve been obsessing over, everything that’s taken me captive. I even told her about the way her energy spilled into my chest. She listened and kissed me and told me not to worry, that things aren’t always what they seem.

She kissed me until I was falling into her all over again. This time I tried not to rush, I wanted to make each touch count, each breath mean something, until I drifted off to sleep, entwined in her arms. And as I sank into dreams, I released the weight of my past that I’ve held tight. The need to hide myself faded a little more.

That was last night. And it was amazing. But now the sun is rising and I’m opening my eyes to the stark reality of what I’ve done. How I’ve made a promise, even if I didn’t mean to. I’ve claimed Kara for myself now, in more ways than spiritual ones. And she’s claimed me.

We’ve challenged Fate again.

But I want the weight of our choice not to matter. I want to press forward with her, be with her. Again and again. And yet, I know that can’t happen. Not until we figure out what’s going on with her—what’s going on with both of us.

I shift closer, touching her shoulder, my chest tightening as I realize I’ve surrendered my heart to her, more than she’ll ever know. My lips follow my fingers along her skin, and I try to think of how to show her what I’m feeling,
really
show her.

She sighs and scoots back against me. I brush her hair from her neck, kissing the small birthmark at her nape. “Kara,” I whisper, reaching around to slide my palm over her belly and hug her against me. “Are you awake?”

She sighs again and then her breath catches as her body jerks, like she’s in pain.

I back away a little. “What’s wrong?”

She rolls over. Blood leaks from the corner of her eye to stain the pillow.

All the air leaves my lungs.

Another drop spills from her ear.

“My head,” she says, her words muddy. “It’s . . .” She lifts her hand to her temple. “God, it’s pounding.”

I stare in disbelief and horror; it’s happening again.

“Ah, God . . .” She hisses air through her teeth, and both hands go to her head. Pain creases her features, pinches her mouth. And more blood leaks from her ear.

“Kara,” I reach out, not knowing what to do.

I grip her shoulder as she shivers and presses into my chest with a whimper. “It hurts.”

Dread rises up and beats at the inside of my chest. I press my palm into her back, my mind spinning, horrifying thoughts roiling inside me. How could I . . . how could I have let my guard down for even a second?

After a few torturous moments of her trembling against me, her skin chills under my touch and she begins to still.

And then she goes totally limp in my arms.

My heart stops. I shift back, trying to see her face. It physically hurts to look at her; the blood spilling onto her cheeks from her eyes; her slack mouth. But I can feel her pulse in her neck.

Don’t you dare leave me, Kara
.

I settle her into the bed before running to get Sid.

She’s still passed out when Sid and I get back to the room. I have some myrrh oil in my pocket; I’m hoping it’ll help her spirit feel safe. Holly comes in with a rag to wash Kara’s face. Jax just leans on the doorjamb, looking more serious than I’ve ever seen him.

I consider calling Connor, who’s apparently off surfing, but decide to wait and see what happens. There’s nothing he can do. Last time, she woke up fine. And if he’s with Rebecca, having a simple day . . . those are so few and far between for all of us. After what went down last night, I can give him a few more hours to be normal and blissfully unaware.

“What happened?” Sid asks, frowning at Kara’s naked shoulders. The sheet covers her body, but he’s probably aware that’s all she has covering her right now.

Holly glares at him like he’s thick in the head. “You know what happened, Sid.”

He glances over at me, studying my bare chest—I only put on pants before running to get him, but not a shirt—then he locks eyes with me. I look at the floor like a coward.

“So you had sex,” he says, sounding miserable. “I assumed that wasn’t going to happen.”

“They’re not monks,” Holly says, beginning to clean Kara’s ears and hair of blood.

He nods like he’s conceding his foolishness. “Yes.” He sighs deeply and pulls an amulet from his pocket. He places it on Kara’s forehead and then leans over, kissing it, muttering something quietly, like he’s saying good-bye.

My chest aches, watching, wishing I could act, wishing there was something I could do.

Sid stands and clears his throat like he’s swallowing sorrow.

“What’s happening?” I ask. “Is it because of the curse, the counter spell, or the whole Rebecca thing—what?”

“I’m afraid that it’s everything.” His eyes are heavy with emotion. “And it is you.”

I stare at him, unable to breathe. “Me.” I did this? I hurt her? Oh, God . . .

“Yes, I just was hoping . . .” He pulls me away from the bed, turning me toward the window. “If what my reading has led me to is correct, then she can’t withstand what your powers are doing to her. And, as we now know, she wasn’t meant to.”

“How—” My voice cracks. “How are you sure it’s my power? How do you know?”

“The scrolls Hanna gave you, the ones I used years ago for the spell, they had warnings. Most didn’t apply and others seemed far-reaching. I read them in the beginning, considered them, but believed none would manifest if you both followed the path with a pure heart.”

Pure. I am in no way pure at this point. If I ever was to begin with. “What were the warnings?”

“The spell I did on Kara had two parts. One would reverse the curse her father placed on her, the second would allow for her to be a vessel to attract you and specifically harvest your power so that it could be awakened. In its simplest form, it would mimic what some would call a soul mate. Normally, this kind of spell wouldn’t affect either party in any way other than to allow them to feel closely linked. Once she awoke your power, the secondary spell should have fallen away, or at least deadened.”

And if that second part of the spell has faded, it would explain why my physical connection to Kara hasn’t been as strong. “That’s happened already,” I say.

“Yes.” He looks over to Kara. Her skin is so pale. Holly is taking the bloody pillow out from under her, and she doesn’t even stir.

Sid rubs his bald head, looking miserable. “I was a fool. I should’ve told you as soon as I realized that your power might be healing her soul, and at the same time undoing the spell I placed on her, reversing it, and bringing back the curse. I just didn’t think this,” he motions to my bare chest, “was a possibility right now because of her past.”

“I don’t understand. Her bleeding this time is because we . . .” I don’t know why, but I can’t say it. Had sex. I had sex with Kara.

“No,” he says, like he’s trying to reassure me. “It would’ve happened eventually anyway, the more time you spent with her. But this could have sped the process up, made things worse. Since the Awakening, your power is more than she can handle, and as it heals her soul, it’s also killing her flesh.”

Realization fills me and dread quickly follows. I needed her. I needed her last night and I took what I needed, damn the consequences. This is all completely my fault. I did this to her. I should’ve known this was a possibility after the first time she had the blood-show. I should’ve known I needed to slow down. God, I’m a fool.

“We need to take a step back and reevaluate things,” Sid says. “You need to consider whether you should pull away completely. Perhaps attempt to pair with Rebecca instead. Maybe that would heal some of this. Since she’s the one you’re supposed to be with, there may—”

I push off the edge of the window. “No. Don’t even go there. That’s not happening.”

“You can’t be with Kara anymore, Aidan. Look at her.”

I do, and my chest constricts with agony. How could I let this happen? “I can’t let her go, Sid. I just can’t. She’s a part of me now. I wouldn’t even know how to take it back if I could.”

“I know, son. I see that you care about her deeply.” He releases a long sigh. “We’ll try to make it right. But if it’s not possible . . . you may need to prepare yourself to let go. Otherwise you could lose her forever.”