Dart and Dash (15 page)

Chapter 29 – Daisy

I stayed under the hot steamy water until it started getting cold. The bathroom was foggy when I stepped out of the shower. When I wiped the mist from the mirror, I saw my face. My skin looked gray. My eyes were bloodshot, and they were puffy. My face was blotchy. When I wiped the mixture of tears and water from under my eyes, I noticed my nail polish was chipped. However, the most noticeable thing was my ring.

My engagement ring.

I felt my soul being ripped from my body, thinking I’d never marry Dart. I closed my eyes, letting the memories of the greatest four years of my life wash over me.

I heard Garnet yell my name, and I slipped into a pair of Dart’s sweats and one of his T-shirts. His spicy scent calmed me as I inhaled the fabric. I felt like he was here, next to me, even though I knew he never would be again.

I went into the kitchen, and my stomach growled loudly at the aroma of the chicken noodle soup. I sat at the table, where Garnet had prepared me a bowl and a glass of water. She was across from me, sipping on her soup, but next to her was another bowl.

“Who’s that for?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

“Hopefully Dash.”

I let the hot liquid burn my tongue and down my throat. I hated to admit that it felt good. I took a couple more spoonfuls.

“What day is it?”

“Friday,” Garnet answered.

I nodded. “I take it that Dash isn’t going to the away game.”

“He missed the last game. He hasn’t practiced at all, and I’m pretty sure he won’t be playing in this one; considering he’s across the street drunk.”

I couldn’t believe he’d missed two games. I couldn’t even explain how close those two were, and I knew Dash might never recover.

I finished my bowl of soup and sat back in the chair. I watched Garnet swirl her spoon around her bowl. She was almost nineteen, but she seemed to look older than that.

“You’re worrying.”

Garnet looked up at me. “I love you; of course, I’m concerned.”

The hot tears left my eyes before I even realized I was crying. “What am I going to do?”

“Daisy, you know I don’t have the answer. All I do know is that Dart wouldn’t want you to quit living. I know I sound like a huge hypocrite because of the way I acted when Mom died, but Dash brought me back, and I know he was right. He told me several times I had to be me again, and I’m hoping I can do the same for him.”

I swiped the tears away. “Deep down, I know that’s the truth, but how do I get there?”

“It’s only been a week. You and I both know it’ll take time, but I’m here for you.” She reached for my hand, and I placed mine in hers.

“I think I’m going to lie down.” I stood up from the table and headed out of the kitchen.

“Wait,” Garnet ran over to the fridge and pulled out a small bottle of vodka. “Consider me an enabler.” She handed it to me.

I held the cold glass in my hands. “You know, I never once saw Dart drunk. He would have a couple drinks, but he never went too far.” I handed it back to her and went to my bedroom.

I sat at my desk and flipped open my laptop. My Facebook page loaded, and the notifications started blowing up, but I didn’t even look at them. I clicked on my albums and there they were: pictures of Dart and me.

Every time we were close to each other, I snapped a picture. I studied every one in the album. Whether we were on the couch, in my bed, in the car, or running, there we were. The love was the most noticeable thing in the picture.

The last post was one day before the accident. Dart and I were laying in the bed, he was kissing my cheek, and the caption read:

Spending the night with my fiancé.

I closed my eyes as the tears flowed quickly down my face. When I opened them, I scrolled down to the comments. Most of them were congratulations, but one of them made me stop breathing.

It was from Dart, and it was only a few hours before he died.

I love you, Daisy.

Four simple words caused me to damn near collapse in a heap. I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before, but there it was.

Dart’s last words to me.

Chapter 30 – Dash

Ten days.

Over a week.

However you put it, Dart was still dead; and I was still alone.

I knew that I had missed two games, and I didn’t care. The only time I moved was to get more alcohol, or go to the bathroom. I did take a shower, well once.

“That’s it.” I heard Garnet stomp up the stairs. “Dash, you need to get up and get out of this house. You need to go to practice and to class. Your coach and professors won’t keep making excuses for you.”

“Get out, Garnet,” I growled at her.

“You’re an idiot, Dash Terrance. Do you really want to rot in this bedroom? Is that what you truly want to do?” Garnet’s yelling made my head hurt more.

“Go away.” Those were the only words that I knew to say to her anymore. I couldn’t say anything else; I was too numb.

“Dash,” her voice seemed gentler. She knelt down in front of me. “Do you remember when we went to the first reading together? When we were walking back, you told me that you and Dart thought about quitting football after your parents died. You remember what you said?”

I didn’t reply.

“Doing something you love will help you be you again.”

I looked away from her. Hearing the words that I’d told her tugged at my heart. I didn’t know how I was ever going to be me again. I didn’t know how to be me without Dart; I had never been without him.

Garnet sat beside me, pushing her hands through her hair. From a sideways glance, I knew she was becoming more frustrated.

“Dash, you told me that you have to live with the pain. I know it’s hard, but I’m not going to watch you wither away.”

“Get away from me,” I snapped loudly at her and shot her an angry look.

“No.”

“Get out.”

“No.”

“Now.”

“No.”

We stared at each other, neither one of us blinked. I knew she was as stubborn as I was. I could even see the pain of my words in her eyes. Every day she came over here. She’s been cleaning, bringing me food, and trying to get me to feel alive again.

“Leave me alone, Garnet, please.” I was begging her to leave so I could just be alone. I was sure she didn’t realize just how much bad luck I really was. I didn’t want her to be in the path of my destruction.

She cupped my face. She looked deep into my eyes. I honestly thought she could understand what I was thinking at that very moment. “I’ll be back with dinner in a little bit.”

I watched her leave and remained in my spot. My view was always the same.

Dart’s door.

The words that I had told Garnet were the same words that Dart had told me when our parents died. He was always smarter than I was. He was always kinder than I was. He loved people better than me.

“Why?” I asked my question to the empty room.

Why did such a good person die?

Why the fuck was I still here?

What the hell was I going to do?

I felt my anger rising. It was almost like it began to boil through me. Dart left me. He left me alone. How dare he do that to me? He was my twin. He was my best friend.

That selfish prick.

I jumped up and began to pace the room. I asked myself the same questions over and over again in my head. How dare he leave me alone? He knew that I would need him.

He said he would always be there next to me, no matter what. Dart had even told me that the day he died.

“Liar,” I screamed out. “You lied to me.”

Adrenaline pumped faster through my body. It was a mixture of anger and agony. I rubbed my temples as the pain pulsed through my head. My ears were ringing. It was like Dart was telling me those words again in my head.

“No,” I hollered out to the silence. I jerked my closet open, found an old baseball bat, and grabbed it.

I’d heard of blind rage before, but I’d never known what it truly meant. My brain wasn’t thinking of anything, except that I was mad at my brother.

I kicked his door open and broke it off its hinges. I looked around the room. Perfectly clean, everything in place. The only thing out of the ordinary was a few wrinkles in the bedding.

“You left me,” I growled out to the empty room.

I swung the bat, and it connected with the dresser. Again and again, I used all my strength to smash it. Clothes and wooden pieces flew through the air until it was completely apart.

I wasn’t done. I still felt the pent-up tension in my body. It wasn’t going away. I needed it to go away. The tension told me that I still had feelings, and I didn’t want any at all.

One strike of the bat and Dart’s desk broke in half. I continued to hit it repeatedly until, like the dresser, there was nothing left.

“I hate you,” I yelled so loud it hurt my throat. I kept swinging the bat. I couldn’t stop myself. I was so mad at Dart, and I wanted him to know it.

There was only one more dresser in my path. I was going to destroy it like all the others. I raised the bat over my head, and was about to drop it when Garnet leapt in front of me.

“Dash, stop.” Her brown eyes were wide with fear. Her hands were up trying to stop me.

“Go away.” I felt the tears that were building up behind my eyes.

“No, Dash.”

“I hate him.” My eyes were burning.

“No, you don’t. You don’t hate him.”

My lip quivered, and my arms were growing tired with the bat still in the air. “He was my best friend.”

“I know.” Garnet lowered her hands and reached out to me. “Give me the bat, Dash.”

“I have no one left.” The first tear rolled down my cheek.

“Dash, I’m here. I’m right here.” Garnet put her hands over her heart.

“I’m bad luck. Everyone I love has died. They’re all dead.” I closed my eyes and dropped the bat. I collapsed to my knees and began to sob.

Garnet wrapped her arms around my neck. I gripped her, and I never wanted to let her go. I rested my head in the crook of her neck. She rocked me telling me it would be okay. I felt her rubbing the back of my head.

I cried harder, letting every emotion go. The pain, the abandonment, the betrayal I felt all left me through the tears.

I felt another set of arms on my body, but I didn’t care who it was, as long as Garnet didn’t let go of me.

I don’t know how long I cried. It could have been one minute or one year, but my tears eventually began to dry. Even though I didn’t release Garnet, I did lift my head up a little.

Garnet’s eyes were red from her tears, and her nose was the same shade. She gave me a tiny smile as she touched my cheek.

“I’ll get us something to clean up with.” I turned to see Daisy. She was the other one I felt with her arms around me.

“Garnet,” my voice was rough from all the tears and yelling. I opened my mouth to say all the words at once, but nothing came out.

“It’s okay,” she kissed my lips, “I know.”

I couldn’t express everything. I was unable to speak. I was feeling so much right now. I didn’t know what was happening. I sat down, leaning against Dart’s bed. I adjusted Garnet so that she was sitting on my lap, and I kissed her cheek. She laid her head on my chest. We both looked up as Daisy maneuvered through my damaged path.

“Here,” she handed each of us a washcloth. We all wiped our faces, and Daisy sat down next to me.

The three of us stayed in the quiet room. Garnet laid her head back onto my chest. I started to feel the fog that I’d been lost in wasn’t as dense as it had been.

I saw Garnet holding Daisy’s hand, and I realized that we were connected forever through this tragedy. Garnet tilted her head up. Her beautiful brown eyes looked shinier than they had before.

“You know,” Daisy broke the silence. “If Dart saw this room right now, he would kick your ass.”

Since Dart’s death, this was the first time I smiled. “Yes he would.”

“Why don’t we clean this up, and get something to eat?” Garnet suggested.

“I’ll get some trash bags.” Daisy slowly rose up from her seat on the floor.

Garnet went to move, but I held her in place. She furrowed her eyebrows at me. I brushed a piece of hair away from her face.

“Thank you,” I opened my heart to her. I had more to say, but I held my tongue for now. This wasn’t the exact moment to tell her everything.

Garnet kissed me hard. “If you really want to thank me, take a shower.”

“Deal.”

Daisy came back into the room and we started our cleaning project. It took almost four hours, because the more we went through Dart’s stuff, the harder it seemed to be.

I found old photos, some of our trophies from peewee football, and even some old cards that I had given him when we were teenagers. Daisy broke down when she found a box of every note, card, and letter she had ever given him.

Garnet asked if I wanted to donate any of his stuff, but I shook my head. I couldn’t let any of his things go just yet.

It was too soon.