Date Shark (3 page)

“I can fire you for whatever reason I want, you little prick. Now get out!”

Tony stood there fuming for a good thirty seconds before doing an about face and storming away from the table. Even when he was out of their sight, his shrill voice started spouting expletives that could still be heard for a few seconds afterward. Eli shook his head. Eli had just cost that young man his job, but he didn’t feel guilty in the least. The only thing he was sorry about was that Leila missed it.

“Well,” Conrad said, “now I’ve got to find me another waiter.”

“Sorry.” Not sorry about Tony, just the stress of finding someone to replace him. Eli knew how much Conrad despised reading resumes.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. The idiot had only been here for two weeks and already most of my staff wanted to filet him into tiny pieces. It wasn’t just Leila he thought was beneath him. It was pretty much the entire world. Kid’s got an ego that could swallow the sun.”

What really made Eli the maddest about the way Tony treated Leila was that she was nothing like most of the other women that hired him. It was hard not to slip up when a woman was wearing something so revealing and inappropriate that you were afraid she was going to fall out of her dress in the middle of the meal, or when the woman who seemed normal at first pulls out a rolled up snakeskin her pet boa constrictor shed the previous week and asks you if you want to touch it. Some of the women Eli brought here were so painfully unaware of how insane they made themselves look that people couldn’t help stare or shy away. Leila had her faults, which Eli had tucked away in the back of his mind for their next meeting, but she was a breath of fresh air compared to most of the others. Tony didn’t even give her a chance.

“I’ll have Pierce make up an invitation for Leila. I caught a glimpse of her earlier. She’s a doll. Pick it up tomorrow before you meet with her, okay?”

“Sure.” Conrad was a good friend. Which was why Eli’s sudden irritation at him was so odd.

“You know what really chaps me about Tony is that he drags my name around with him when he pulls crap like this,” Conrad said, distracting Eli. “I may not cook the food served here anymore, but I approve every recipe. Our food is the best in the city, and I hate the idea of anyone being put off because of some arrogant waiter.”

This was going to dig at him for at least two weeks. Eli knew him too well. Conrad loved his restaurant more than anything or anyone. Which was why he was still single, but it fulfilled him. Eli knew this, but his earlier annoyance at him for wanting to have dinner with Leila made him say, “She hated the miso-glazed sea bass, by the way.”

“What?” His mouth actually fell open. “Did she actually say that?”

“No, of course not, but she grimaced every time she forced herself to eat a piece.”

“That’s one of my favorite recipes!”

Eli shrugged, enjoying his shock for a moment.

“Unrefined palate, that must be what’s wrong with her,” Conrad grumbled.

“Yes, I’m sure that’s it.” Eli slouched down in his chair and leaned his head back. He loved this restaurant almost as much as Conrad did. Its elegant, but homey feel was calming. It made Eli feel like he was back at his mother’s house. Memories of her tried to creep up to the surface, but Eli shoved them away quickly and forcefully.

The clink of his friend’s espresso cup meeting back up with its saucer registered with Eli, but didn’t make him stir. “So,” Conrad said, “what was Ms. Leila’s biggest fault, the reason she is alone. One word only. You know the rules.”

The rules. That phrase struck a nerve. “Just let me relax, Conrad.”

“Ha, this was an unspoken part of our business arrangement. Don’t fail me now.”

It was a stupid game, but it did usually help Eli collect all his observations and arrange them into a concise list. One word to describe the woman’s greatest fault, then two, then a sentence, working his way into a definitive plan of action for each client. One word to explain why Leila thought she needed Eli’s help to fall in love and stay there.

“I don’t know, Conrad. I honestly don’t know.”

Chapter 3

Unexpected

Walking to The Fifth Street Café, Leila felt like Marie Antoinette on her way to the guillotine. She could tell herself all she wanted that she was being dramatic and idiotic, but it didn’t calm the feeling of ants burrowing under her skin. Leila really tried to take Eli’s advice last night to do something for herself, but her dread for this meeting kept her from relaxing. She reached the door of the café and froze. Did she really want to hear why she couldn’t get a man to call her back? Maybe not, but she wanted to be alone even less. Leila pulled the glass door open and stepped into the familiar hum of cappuccino machines and chatter. At least they were meeting somewhere low-key this time.

Leila spotted Eli in a corner booth and took measured steps toward him. He stood when he saw her approach; such a gentleman. Leila wasn’t sure how to greet someone she went on a fake date with the night before. Handshake? Hug? Polite nod? She decided to go with a handshake. Her guess was validated when Eli shook her hand without pause.

“Good afternoon, Leila. How are you doing?” Eli asked.

“Uh, that’s up for debate right now. How are you?”

“About the same, actually.”

She wasn’t sure what he meant by that.

Eli gestured for her to sit down then followed his own suggestion. Leila slid into the comfy booth. Its familiar faux leather paired with big picture windows begged her to tuck her feet up and sit with her back to the sun so it could drench her. This was her favorite spot to read a book. Being in her element instead of Eli’s helped Leila relax somewhat.

“How was the rest of your evening last night?” Eli asked.

Leila’s face scrunched up in confusion. “Huh?”

“Did you enjoy the rest of your night?” Eli chuckled.

“Look, no offense, but could we just get this over with? I couldn’t sleep at all last night knowing I had to meet you today,” Leila said. She wasn’t usually so brusque, but she couldn’t handle any more waiting. “Just tell me what I did wrong last night.”

Leila expected him to laugh at her again, comment on her inability to sleep. Instead, his face turned thoughtful. Her fingernails bit into her skin. The way his eyebrows bunched together made her wary. Leila knew some of her mistakes already, but maybe there were more hidden faults than she thought. The urge to run away crawled back up her spine. Tamping it down took a little muscle. Leila wanted this, she told herself. She would never know what she needed to change if she didn’t hear him out. Her fingers unfurled and pressed flat against her thighs. She looked at Eli expectantly.

“You know,” he began, “my job is typically a pretty easy one. And I don’t mean taking lovely women out to dinner. Women come to me so I can tell them the secret of why meaningful relationships seem to be so elusive for them. They are never sure why they’re still alone, but I can usually see the reason within five minutes of meeting them.”

“That’s why you’re the best.”

He shook his head. “No, it’s simply that their faults are usually so glaringly obvious to everyone but them it’s impossible not to notice.”

“So it has nothing to do with you being a psychiatrist, someone trained to read people’s words and expressions?”

“Not a whole lot, no.”

“Yeah. Right.”

The gentle shake of Eli’s head loosened a piece of his polished brown hair. He brushed it away with a smile. His hand reached over toward Leila’s, one finger tapping on her skin. The pulse of his touch raced through her arm to her chest. Her breath stuttered.

“You know …” Eli said.

“Here we are,” a barista named Alice said as she set down two smoothies and a pair of turkey sandwiches. “You two enjoy your meal.” As Alice turned around she winked at Leila and gave a thumbs up sign as she pointed at Eli with the other hand. Leila rolled her eyes and ignored her.

“Sorry,” Eli said, drawing Leila’s attention back to him, “I would have waited to order until you got her but the barista said this is what you always get. I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” Leila was quick to assure him, but in the back of her mind she was embarrassed to realize she was so predictable that a woman she was only casually acquainted with knew exactly what she would order.

Whatever Eli was going to say before Alice walked up was lost. He seemed to be back to business now. “What I said about my job being easy, that doesn’t apply to you, Leila.”

Great, even the talented Eli Walsh couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her.

“I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night as well,” Eli said, “because of you.”

“That bad, huh?”

This time Eli laughed in earnest. “Quite the opposite, actually.”

Leila stared at him, not sure how to respond.

“Sorry,” Eli said, “I’m getting a little ahead of myself. Why don’t I start with my list, first?”

“Um, sure.”

Pausing long enough to sample his sandwich and smoothie, Eli then took a notebook out of his blazer pocket. “I’m going to start at the beginning of the date and work my way through to the end, okay?”

Leila nodded.

“When I first arrived, you were overly tactile, shaking my hand with both of yours, clutching my arm with both hands very tightly. This is something that can make a man step back because he sees you as being too eager, someone who might start bringing up weddings and children on the first date. You didn’t, of course, but that is likely what will run through a man’s mind when a woman starts getting clingy on the first date. Be aware of how you touch your date and how they may perceive the contact. Keep it friendly, but not too friendly.”

Oh. The gulp of smoothie Leila had just sucked up the straw slithered down her throat like sludge. She knew the way she shook his hand was too much, but she hadn’t thought about how she took his arm. Leila usually stuck pretty close to her dates because she worried about getting separated from them, and quite frankly, being forgotten. It had happened before. Not even once did she consider her nerves could be interpreted as desperation to commit.

“This next one, I’ll mention only because I know you’ve probably been thinking about it. Tripping at the entrance, dropping things at the table. Being clumsy isn’t necessarily something that will turn a man off, but each time you got very embarrassed and that made you pull back from me. If tripping or dropping things is a concern for you, try to be a little more aware of your surroundings and plan ahead by leaving your purse in the car or bringing one small enough to set on the table without it getting in the way.”

Leila nodded, appreciative of the tips. She really only got clumsy when she was nervous, but it buoyed her a small amount to know Eli didn’t think it was a big deal.

“You may think letting a man help you lessens you in some way, but it makes a decent man happy to pull out a woman’s chair or walk her to her car. Frankly, if a man isn’t willing to do that for you, you shouldn’t be dating him. You deserve better than that,” Eli said, his compliment catching Leila off guard. “Don’t argue with your date if he wants to be polite by helping you. He knows you’re perfectly capable of doing it on your own, but he wants to be respectful, so let him.”

Leila had to break in here. “I’m not one of those women who refuse to let men help her because she thinks it’s degrading. I’d love it if a man opened my door before getting into the car himself, or if after I cooked a meal he helped me clean up. I only argued because …”

“Because you didn’t think you deserved my attention,” Eli finished. Leila sank back into her seat. Exactly. Eli eyed her like he might a puppy that didn’t make it outside on time, frustrated, but not angry. “Leila, that’s a worse reason than having a moral objection. And it goes along with my next point. You spent most of the evening talking down about yourself. You could never do so much at work, or accomplish great things on your own. You aren’t artistic. You gag at the sight of ginger. And you kept mentioning how we weren’t on a real date, as if you thought there was no chance you ever would be.”

“I thought that because it’s true, Eli. I don’t date guys like you.”

“Well, you should,” he said. As soon as the words left his mouth, he froze. Leila’s mind started whirring, trying to figure out why he said that and what he really meant.

“Uh, anyway, you shouldn’t put yourself down on a date, or ever really, but especially not when you’re out with a guy you’re interested in. If you don’t think you’re amazing, why should he?” Eli avoided Leila’s gaze by taking a bite of his sandwich. “Along the same lines, try not to sound too negative. When I asked you about the interns becoming real designers, you instantly went sour.”

“That’s what I really think, though. You want me to lie and pretend I think they’ll all become millionaires?” At their pre-date meeting, Eli kept harping on how important it was for her to be honest.

“No, I’m not saying you should lie, but don’t make the world sound so doom and gloom. You could have said, ‘The chances of success aren’t very high for young designers, but the ones that work hard and are truly creative will make it big.’ Would that have been untrue?”

Leila’s frown wrinkled her nose as she thought. “No, that’s true, I guess. Most of the interns won’t make it big, but the ones who really deserve it will.”

“See,” Eli said with a smile, “there’s always a positive side. Keep that in mind on your next date. And the next time you’re out with a man, try asking him a few questions, as well. Women who talk too much about themselves makes guys panic faster than almost anything. They think she’ll want him to talk about feelings and plans for the future and all those things guys don’t like to talk about.”

Leila could feel her entire body going scarlet. “I … I didn’t ask because … well, because I already knew what you did, and … we weren’t on a real date. After today, I’ll never see you again.”

“That’s how it is with the majority of first dates. You have no idea whether date one will lead to date two, but that shouldn’t stop you from exploring who that person is. If you never find out, then the relationship definitely won’t go anywhere,” Eli said. He paused, one corner of his mouth turning up slightly. “Besides, you shouldn’t let thinking you don’t have a chance with someone stop you from trying. You never know where a chance encounter might lead.”