Daughters of Eve (18 page)

"Irene Stark brought up the possibility of making a special designation as to how the money collected through the raffle will be used. After much discussion, Paula Brummell moved that the money be spent to start a girls' soccer team. Jane Rheardon seconded the motion, which was passed unanimously."

"It shook up a few people, too," Kelly Johnson commented wryly.

"A few people!" Holly Underwood exclaimed. "That's putting it mildly! You should have heard Steve on the way home from the dance! He was so mad he could hardly talk. You know, he's on the basketball team, and they'd been counting on those warm-up suits."

"My father doesn't think Mr. Shelby will go along with us," Tammy said. "Dad thinks he's taking it as a kind of joke."

"He has to go along with us if he endorses the check," Paula said. "We have it printed right there on the back. When he signs his name, that's his agreement."

"Please, everybody, I think this comes under the heading of 'old business,'" Frank broke in. "Let's do things in order. Are there any additions or corrections to Ann's minutes? Then they stand approved as read. Bambi, could we have the treasurer's report?"

"We took in one hundred and fifty-two dollars through dance admissions. Materials for decorating the gym were twenty-three dollars; ingredients for the punch (not counting the stuff Brad Tully tried to spike it with) were eighteen dollars; and the band cost seventy-five dollars. Which gives us a balance of thirty-six dollars, even before we collect December dues. In other words, we're rich," Bambi announced with satisfaction. "Let's have a party."

"We just had a dance. That should last us awhile," Holly said. "I think we ought to order some flowers to be sent to Laura in the hospital."

"Yes, let's," Tammy said. "Do we know how long she's going to be there? Has anybody learned anything?"

"Irene was going to try to find out for us," Fran said.

"I talked to Mrs. Snow last night." Irene was silent a moment. Then she said, "I saw Laura this morning."

"I thought she wasn't supposed to have visitors," Paula said in surprise.

"She asked especially to see me. She had written a letter she wanted me to read at today's meeting." Irene withdrew a folded sheet of notebook paper from her purse. She spread it flat on the table in front of her. "I'd better tell you first that Laura won't be coming back to Modesta High. She's being discharged from the hospital later today, and she'll fly immediately to her father's home in Rhode Island. She is going to finish the school year there."

"But, why?" Jane Rheardon asked in bewilderment. The question was echoed in eight other faces.

"Let me read you the letter," Irene said, leaning forward over the paper. "'Dear sisters—I am sorry to be going away like this without saying goodbye. I just don't feel that I can face anybody right now. I don't think I can come back to school and face certain people ever. I want to go to a new place and start all over. I wish I could forget my whole life except for you, my sisters. You are the only kind people I know in the world. I want you to know how grateful I am that you let me be one of you. I love you all—Laura.'"

For a moment no one spoke.

Finally, Jane said, "I don't understand. That doesn't explain anything."

"Somebody hurt her in some terrible way," Kelly said.

"What happened, Irene?" Fran asked. "Did Laura tell you?"

"Yes, she did," Irene said. "I think it's right that I share this with you, but first I want your promise that it will never go any further. What I'm going to tell you must not be repeated outside of the sisterhood."

"That's part of the pledge," Kelly reminded her.

"That's right, it is. 'We pledge ourselves to divulge to no one words spoken in confidence within this sacred circle.' I just want to be sure that everyone understands how important it is that this pledge be kept." Irene glanced about the circle of solemn faces.

"When Mrs. Snow returned last night from a bridge party, she found that Laura had taken sleeping pills. The empty bottle was lying on the bedside table. Luckily, Laura's mother found her in time. She called the rescue squad, and they were able to get to her before the bulk of the medication got into the bloodstream, If she had been a few minutes later, however, or if she had not noticed the bottle and realized what had happened, Laura would have died."

There was a collective gasp.

"Did she mean to take them?" Ann asked in horror. "I mean, was she trying to—to—"

"To commit suicide? I don't know, Ann. Laura herself doesn't seem too sure. She told me this morning that she was in such a state of shock and pain she just wanted to 'sleep and forget everything.' As Kelly said, somebody hurt her in a terrible way. She wasn't tough enough to handle that."

"Who was it?" Kelly demanded. "What did they do?"

"I think I know," Ruth Grange said softly. "It was my brother, Peter."

"Peter?" Bambi exclaimed incredulously. "Why, Pete wasn't anywhere near Laura! He was with me all evening. Besides, they hardly know each other."

"Yes, they do," Ruth said. "When I went up to bed after the dance, I found there wasn't any glass in the bathroom. I went down to the kitchen to get one. Niles and Peter were there talking. They didn't see me in the doorway, and I heard them—heard them talking about—"

"About what?" Bambi Said. "Stop hemming and hawing, Ruthie."

"The way they were talking, I guess Pete had been making it with Laura," Ruth said miserably. "That's how it sounded. You know the way guys talk, though. They like to brag and blow things up bigger than they really are."

"It figures," Bambi said. "I kind of wondered—all that time after we stopped going together and he didn't seem to be seeing anybody—it just didn't seem in character. Pete isn't the sort to sit around and lick his wounds. But, still—Laura! No, Ruth—you must have heard wrong. They were kidding around or something."

"No, they weren't." Ruth shook her head. "Laura thought Pete was going to take her to Homecoming."

"And then when he and I got back together again he broke the date?"

"No. He just—just didn't show."

"He stood her up?" Bambi's face was pale with anger. "Of all the shitty tricks! On both of us! You should have heard the line he gave me. How he'd 'missed' me. How 'lonesome' he'd been. And all the time he had Laura "waiting in the back room. I wonder what he was telling her all that time. How far do you think it went?"

"I think—pretty far."

"That bastard! That crumby bastard!" Bambi brought her clenched fist crashing down on the surface of the table. "And I thought he'd changed, that he really cared about me and about our relationship! How could I have been such an idiot!"

"You're not an idiot," Tammy said, trying to soothe her. "You believed what you were told, and why shouldn't you? There was no way you could have guessed that this thing was going on with Laura."

"I believed him because I wanted to, that's what was stupid. And Laura—well, at least she had the excuse of not having been around much. I can see where she might lap up anything a good-looking guy dumped out for her, but with me—I've been dating since middle school! I should have known better!"

"So should Laura," Kelly said coldly. "Maybe she hasn't had dating experience, but she had a father who walked out on her and on her mother. That should be enough right there to have taught her you can't trust men."

"We don't really know—" Ann began.

"Of course, we do! Irene and I had a long talk about that very thing the other night. We all of us know a whole lot of things down deep inside, but we close our eyes to them. It's the way Bambi just said. We believe what we want to believe. It's easier than standing up for ourselves."

"Like with my mother," Jane said. "She keeps telling herself that it's her own fault that Dad beats up on her because she's dumb and irritates him and things like that."

"What would happen if she faced the truth?" Irene asked quietly. "What if she acknowledged the fact that she is married to a cruel and brutal man who hates all women and is taking this hatred out on her?"

"She'd have to leave him," Jane said.

"And, if she did that—?"

"She'd have to be by herself and take care of herself. That scares her. She doesn't know how to do that"

"And so she stays where she is and lets herself be beaten?"

"You're making it sound as if I ought to be doing something," Jane said. "What can I do? I've talked to Mother. I've told her she ought to leave. She says she will someday after I'm grown. That's just an excuse. She'll never leave, no matter what he does to her.

"I don't understand it. I only know I'm never going to get into anything like that, ever."

"All men aren't like that," Ann said. "My father would die before he would do anything to hurt my mother. And Dave is the same way."

"You may think that now," Kelly said. "Jane's mother probably felt like that too in the beginning."

"Cruelty isn't always physical either," Irene said. "In many cases it's quite subtle, an undermining of a woman's self-confidence, a draining of her self-esteem so that she's forced to channel her energy in nonproductive directions."

"That's what happened to my mother with her music," Holly said.

"But not to mine," Tammy announced adamantly. "She's doing her own thing, and she's happy. My dad's really proud of her, too."

"What about last summer when she was offered that lecture job at the writers' conference in California?" Kelly said. "She turned that down because your father had to stay here and teach summer school."

"He didn't make her turn it down. She made her own decision. She doesn't like to take trips without him."

"How does she know she doesn't when she's never tried it?" Kelly asked. "Face it, Tam, she's afraid that if she leaves for a month your father might find somebody else to fill the gap. Every woman is scared of that, or, if she isn't, she ought to be."

"That a rotten thing to say," Tammy said. "My father would never think—"

"Sure, he would! Why should he be any different?"

"Girls, let's not fight among ourselves," Irene said. "We need our strength and unity for the larger fight. We have to work together. Our strength is in our sisterhood."

"But you're making it sound like all men in the world are enemies," Tammy said. "Just because Kelly's dad fell in love with somebody else doesn't mean my dad is going to. There are people who stay together because they love each other, and they try to make each other happy. It may not always work out perfectly but they try."

"You live in a dream world, Tammy," Irene said coldly. Her voice was low and controlled. "Little sisters of mine, wake up! You must open your eyes! You are not like your mothers! You are a whole new generation. You don't have to let yourselves be ground under foot as your mothers have been. You can rise—fight back—show the world that you know your own worth!"

"The way we did by allocating the raffle money?" Paula said.

"That was a beginning."

"If that creep, Peter, thinks I'm ever going to give him the time of day again, he's got another think coming," Bambi said. "As far as I'm concerned, it's over, and I mean forever."

"Is that all?" Irene asked her.

"All?"

"That seems like mild retribution. This is a man who drove a trusting and loving girl into an attempt to take her own life. Does your refusal to date Peter in the future seem sufficient punishment?"

"It's a beginning." Bambi smiled slightly as she repeated the teacher's words. Her sharp blue gaze flickered around the table. "If it's going to be more than that, I'm going to need help."

"You've got plenty of that right here," Kelly said.

"Then, we'll arrange something. Something he won't forget for a long while. Is that what you meant, Irene?"

"This decision must be made by all of you. This is a club, after all. Motions must be voted on. It's appropriate, I think, for you to present a proposal for group consideration."

"What about Ruthie?" Bambi glanced across at the younger girl. "Pete's her brother."

"If Ruth doesn't wish to be involved she is free to leave."

"What exactly is it that you're going to do?" Ruth asked nervously.

"That's hasn't been decided." Bambi regarded her thoughtfully. "If you're going to leave, it's just as well you do it now before this goes any further."

"I don't want to leave."

"Then you'll have to remember, you're bound by the pledge."

"I'll remember. Don't worry," Ruth said solemnly. "Pete may be my brother, but Laura's more than that. She's my sister and my friend."

"Are you going to take part in it?" Tammy asked.

"I guess so," Ann said slowly. "We don't have much choice, do we? We voted."

"We could drop out."

"Leave the group?" Ann shook her head. "We can't do that. You tried it once and it didn't work, remember? No, we're all together in this. We have to do our share."

The late afternoon light was thin and gray, and the wind was beginning to pick up intensity as they walked. Tammy dug her hands into her jacket pockets for warmth and her mind slid back to another day, two months ago—was it only two months? Yes, unbelievably it was—when she had run out of the school building into the bright warmth of the September afternoon. But she had not been warm. She had been shivering, in the grip of some cold, strange thing that chilled her through despite the golden sweetness of the day.