Daughters of the Dragon: A Comfort Woman's Story (7 page)

E
LEVEN

August 1945. Dongfeng, Manchuria

W
hen the soldier
with the dirty, untied boots left my room, there was only one more waiting at my step. There was always a long line at my door before the soldiers went off to their maneuvers.
Kempei
told us the soldiers needed to purge themselves so if they died in battle, they could enter the afterlife pure. “You’re doing a great service for these men,” he said. “And for Japan and for the Emperor.”

I had been serving Japan and the Emperor nonstop since midday and it was now early evening. Even with the six new Korean girls Lieutenant Tanaka had brought in, my line was always the longest. At ten minutes apiece—the soldiers’ allotted time—I had serviced over thirty men that day. I was sore and exhausted and had to force myself to serve one more soldier.

That man was Corporal Kaori. He was a big man and he liked to hurt me. He always said he wanted to be the last in line so no one would rush him. But I knew it was because being last, he could do what he wanted to me.

When Kaori entered my room, I saw he had his boots tied tight and that there was a hardness in his eyes. I knew I had to be careful.

As Corporal Kaori unbuttoned his trousers, I washed off the condom the last soldier used. I bowed as I gave the cleaned condom to the corporal. I lay back and opened my
yukata
. My tiny room was hot and humid and reeked of sweat and semen. My sweat dripped into my bedding, already drenched from the sweat of dozens of men. The foul bedding clung to my back. Kaori pulled down his trousers without taking off his boots. He pulled his large penis through his underwear and I stroked it to get it stiff. It wasn’t working.

“Faster, girl,” he ordered. “Don’t you know how I like it?” He pulled my hair, sending spikes of pain into my scalp.

I knew what I had to do to get him going. “Come on, big man,” I hissed. “Hurt me some more.”

His eyes flashed excitement and he slapped me hard.

“Yes, that’s right,” I said clenching my jaw. “It’s what you want.” I stroked him faster and his huge penis grew. He fumbled with the condom. I took it from him and put it on. He mounted me and tried to push inside me, but he wasn’t stiff enough.

“Pinch me,” I said. He pinched my nipples hard and slapped me again. My eyes filled with tears. I continued to stroke him. He grew stiff and finally was able to push inside me. His bulk overwhelmed me and my body jerked with each of his thrusts. He slapped me again and put his hand around my throat. His eyes grew wide and he grinned lasciviously.

He was choking me. Hard. I gasped and could feel my face turn red. I tried to tell him to let go, but I couldn’t push the words past his grip. I grabbed his arm and squirmed but his weight kept me pinned to the mat and my struggles only aroused him more. I saw stars and everything started to go dark. Then with a convulsion that banged my head in the wall, he was done. He released his hand from my neck and climbed off of me. I turned to the side and coughed. I took in air in big gulps. Eventually the stars went away. I clung to the wall and forced myself to stand in the corner.

Kaori removed his condom and dropped it inside my chamber pot. As he pulled up his trousers, I bowed and said a weak thank you. The corporal grunted and left my room.

I clutched the clothes hook on the back of the door to keep myself from collapsing. It took several minutes until I could breathe normally again. Then I picked up my obi and looked at the clothes hook. I admit I thought about doing it. One end of the obi around the clothes hook, the other around my neck. After all, Sun-hi had done it not more than a week after we arrived at the comfort station. She had tied the knots, relaxed her legs, and let herself go. It must have taken great strength for Sun-hi to let herself hang until her obi choked the life from her. I wondered if I could do it, too.

I let go of the clothes hook. I wiped the sweat off my forehead and rubbed the pain from my neck. I wrapped myself in my
yukata
and tied it closed with my obi. I reached inside my chamber pot and among the used condoms and semen, I felt for the comb with the two-headed dragon. I took it out and wiped it clean on my bedding. I looked at the two-headed dragon. Mother had said that it would protect us. I was keeping it hidden from the Japanese but so far, it had not protected me from anything.

I slipped the comb under my mat and gathered the sweat-soaked bedding. I picked up the chamber pot and headed out the door. Outside the sun was bright. It was hot and the sky was hazy blue. Swarms of big black flies buzzed around the barracks. In the courtyard, the slick mud of spring had turned hard from the sun and the boots of thousands of men.

Seiko and the other Japanese
geisha
s were lounging on their steps fanning themselves when I walked by. “You have another night with the Colonel,” Seiko said to me. “I don’t know why he wants a Korean whore like you when he could have a good Japanese
geisha
like me. He must like the way you use your stone face on him.” The other Japanese women laughed without covering their mouths.

I blushed at Seiko’s taunting. The Colonel had only forced me to do that once. He had just returned from visiting his family in Japan and was upset about something. I never found out what it was. After I undressed him like I always did, he pushed my face into him. I fought back but he was so strong, and I was afraid he would break my neck. So I did it. I had to.

Afterward, the Colonel had turned quiet almost as if he was ashamed. When I rose to leave, he asked me to stay. That was the first time I stayed the entire night with the Colonel. Since then, we spent more time talking than having sex. He gave me Japanese books to read during the long breaks when the soldiers were away. I think the other
ianfu
and the
geisha
s were jealous of me.

As I walked back to my room, Private Ishida was resting in the shade. He nodded to me and I returned a small bow. I liked the private. He only used the
geisha
s for himself and warned the Korean girls when the
kempei
was coming. He always carried his rifle, but I was sure he had never used it.

When I got to the latrine, I emptied my chamber pot and rinsed it out. I washed my hands. In the room next to the latrine, I left my bedding on the pile of dirty laundry and took a clean set. I headed back to the barracks. Seiko and the other Japanese women glared at me. I made sure to keep my eyes low. When I got to my room, I set the chamber pot at the foot of my mat and spread the clean bedding so it would be ready for the next day. I retrieved the comb from under my mat and dropped it inside my chamber pot.

*

I went to the latrine to wash before dinner. The latrine was an open outhouse fifty feet behind the barracks. There was a wooden deck with three holes for the girls to squat over. To the side, on wooden frames, were three chipped and stained ceramic washbasins. Soo-hee, dressed in her yellow
yukata
, was washing laundry at a basin. I went to the basin next to her.

“I think Kaori will kill me someday,” I said, staring into the washbasin.

“I will talk to the
kempei
about him again,” Soo-hee said.

“No don’t,” I said quickly remembering the times Soo-hee had been punched for asking the
kempei
for something. “It is not so bad.” I began to wash in the gray water.

“I hear the war is going badly for the Japanese,” Soo-hee said. “The Americans are winning in the east. Maybe it will all end soon.”

“Then what will we do?” I asked.

“We will go home.” Soo-hee said.

“I do not want to go home after what we’ve done here,” I said, “What will Mother and Father think? We have dishonored them.”

Soo-hee put a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry about what Mother and Father will think. You just need to stay strong a little while longer.”

Stay strong? What for? So I could be raped another day? Growing up on the farm, I thought I was strong. I could work all day in the fields alongside Father and Mother and Soo-hee and go days without a full meal when the rice was low. But for the past two years, the effort to make it through each day took everything out of me. I was nothing more than a toilet to the Japanese, and that’s exactly how I saw myself. I was doing my best to stay strong, but I wasn’t sure how much longer I could.

Soo-hee returned to her basin and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. “This dirty water reminds me of the day that pig got away from Father and Mr. Lee from up the road. They were butchering it for the New Year’s feast. Do you remember?”

“Yes, I think so,” I answered.

Soo-hee continued. “It was raining that day and the pig slipped out of their arms. Mr. Lee said they should put out cabbage for it and catch him that way. But
Appa
was impatient and chased after it.”

Soo-hee began to chuckle and I could feel a smile forming on my face. She continued. “Father chased that pig all around the pen. He slipped and fell in the mud twice before he caught him. And Mr. Lee refused to help.”

Soo-hee laughed. “
Appa
was covered with mud when he got home.
Ummah
was angry with him for tracking mud inside the house. She made him take off all his clothes and wash outside at the well. He was so mad, he had three helpings of roast pig that night!”

We laughed together, careful to cover our mouths as we did. But our laughs quickly went away. As I dried my hands, I looked at my
onni
’s face. “How is your cheek?” I asked.

“It’s healing,” Soo-hee answered, turning to the basin.

The ugly purple and yellow bruise on Soo-hee’s cheek made my heart sink. Three days earlier, Lieutenant Tanaka had punched Soo-hee when she asked the
kempei
if a new girl could see the doctor about a pain in her stomach. It was only the latest cruelty that my
onni
had had to suffer at the hands of Lieutenant Tanaka.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“What for?”

“You should have kept the comb. Then, you would have better luck and the
kempei
wouldn’t be so mean to you.”

“No, it is better that you have it. It has given you good luck. You are the Colonel’s favorite.”

“It is not so lucky that I am,” I said.

Soo-hee stared vacantly at the basin. “Little sister,” she said, “I have something to tell you.”

“Oh?” I said. “What is it?”

Soo-hee took in a long breath. “I’ve missed my monthly bleed. My breasts are sore. I’m sick in my stomach in the morning. I think I am pregnant.”

My heart stopped. “
Onni
, are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes. I have to tell Lieutenant Tanaka. He’s the only one who doesn’t use a condom with me. There is no saying what he will do.”

I felt like the ground was opening up and swallowing me in. “Soo-hee, they will give you an abortion with a wire, just like they did with Maori and Yo-ee before they died.”

“Not everyone who has an abortion dies, Ja-hee. Bo-yun and Mee-su were just fine after their abortions. And Jin-sook was only sick for a month before she came back to work.”

I gripped Soo-hee’s arm. “You have to take the comb! It will give you good luck like it has for me.”

Soo-hee shook her head. “No. You keep it.”

“But Soo-hee, if you die I will die, too. I’ll hang myself with my obi like Sun-hi did.”

“Do not talk like that!” Soo-hee snapped. “You will do no such thing.”

I lowered my eyes and took a few deep breaths. “When will you tell Lieutenant Tanaka?” I asked.

“I’m supposed to be with him tonight. I will tell him before then. The longer I wait, the riskier the abortion will be. I should have it tomorrow.”

“I’m with the Colonel tonight,” I said. “I’ll ask him to send you to the hospital in Pushun.”

“He will not do that. Doctor Watanabe will do the abortion.”

“Soo-hee, you cannot die. You cannot!” I wanted to cry.

Soo-hee put her hand on me. “I will be all right, little sister. I will not leave you here alone.”

*

As I sat on my step in the fading light waiting for my time with the Colonel, I tried not to think about what life at the comfort station would be like if Doctor Watanabe’s abortion killed Soo-hee. I wouldn’t be able to do it anymore. I could not possibly go on. I desperately wanted the doctor to send her to the hospital in Pushun for the abortion. But I knew he would not. He didn’t even send the
geisha
s there when they got sick.

Suddenly down the barracks, a roar came from Soo-hee’s room. It was Lieutenant Tanaka. I stepped out to the courtyard and watched Soo-hee’s door. The door swung open and Lieutenant Tanaka backed out dragging Soo-hee by the hair. He pushed her down to the dirt and kicked her in the chest. Soo-hee quickly got to her hands and knees, and lowered her head to the lieutenant. “I’m sorry,
Kempei
,” she said.