Daybreak (11 page)

“You’re right, I don’t. You’re twenty-one! Live a little! Have some fun. That’s all we’re doing.”

“I want more than that.” Lucas knew it was the truth. “Call me a loser, but I don’t want to just have fun. I want more. I
need
more.”

Casey shook his head, exasperated. “Fine. Call me if you lighten up.” He shrugged his clothes on and left.

Lucas took a deep breath. He looked around at the filthy state of his apartment and picked up an old pizza box from the coffee table. He may have lost Nate, but it was time to get his life back and stop feeling sorry for himself.

Chapter Ten

As he neared the bar listed on the Web site, Lucas slowed down considerably. Turning off his iPod, he flicked the locking mechanism and wrapped his earphones before slipping it into his pocket.

Ahead, a young man went into the bar, the door closing behind him. He had walked in as if it was no big deal, and Lucas wondered if they were there for the same reason. Perhaps other people weren’t as terrified of speed dating as Lucas was.

He considered bailing and letting them keep his thirty-five dollars, especially since he didn’t even know why he was going. Well, he knew; he just wasn’t sure it was the right thing. Casey’s parting words about being young and having fun had been ringing in his ears, and Lucas had impulsively signed up for the gay speed-dating event.

Sure, he’d looked at the site dozens of times and had only hit “Send” on the form after chickening out more than once. But for him, that was impulsive.

Lucas took a few more steps, having slowed to a near crawl on the sidewalk. Another man, this one older, entered the bar. Lucas took a deep breath. In a few more steps, he’d have to either go in or keep walking.

As he came alongside the door, he paused. It was now or never.

His stomach fluttering, Lucas yanked open the door and walked in before he could talk himself out of it. Inside he found an upscale bar staffed by extremely pretty people. One of them, a woman, smiled.

“Here for the speed dating?”

Lucas felt utterly exposed. “Is it that obvious?”

She smiled warmly. “The deer in the headlights expression kind of gives you away.” She pointed toward the area in the back where twelve small tables were arranged around the room. “Just go check in with the organizers. Break a leg.”

“Thanks.” Lucas tried to smile, but it was more like a grimace. He wondered what the hell he was getting himself into, but obediently walked to the registration table, where a well-coiffed, middle-aged man and woman waited.

The woman smiled brightly. “Hi! Welcome to Painless Date. Name?”

“Um, Lucas McKenzie.”

She scanned a printed list with a shiny red fingernail. “Lucas. Great, here you are.” She marked a check beside his name. “Okay, here’s your name tag, and your date sheet. Did you bring a pen?”

Shit
. “Sorry, I forgot. I can go buy one.”
Then run away and not come back.

The man chuckled. “Oh, no. Don’t be silly.” He reached down below the table and came back up with a pen in his hand. “We always bring some extras just in case.”

Of course they did
. “Great, thanks.”

The woman smiled again. “Okay, now go pick a table and we’ll get started in a few minutes. Just waiting for a few more people.”

Lucas nodded and glanced at the tables set aside for the speed dating. All the tables had at least one man sitting at them, so Lucas chose the closest table and pulled the chair out.

A chubby young man with sandy brown hair and wire-rimmed glasses smiled nervously at him across the table. “Hi, I’m Gabriel.”

“Hi. Lucas.”

They shook hands, and the waitress came by and took their drink orders. Lucas peered around at the other tables. “So, have you done this before?”

“Uh-uh. You?”

“Nope. I’m kind of nervous.”

“Me too.” Gabriel smiled and fidgeted with his sheet of paper. “I hear it can be brutal, you know? At least you seem nice.”

Lucas smiled. “You too. What do you do?”

“I’m a junior accountant. I know, extremely exciting, huh?”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with working with numbers. I’m a student at NYU.”

“What’s your major?”

“Undeclared. I have no idea what I want to do.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure it out.” Gabriel nodded encouragingly.

The waitress returned with their pints, and just then the organizers called for attention and explained the rules of the event. Seven minutes with each “date,” and then you had to tick off whether you’d be open to seeing the person again. They rang a bell, and the daters were officially on the clock.

Gabriel and Lucas stared at each other awkwardly across the table. It had been easier before they’d rung the bell. Lucas smiled. “Well, the pressure’s on now. I’m trying to think of something witty to say, but…I’ve got nothing.”

“Hmm, let’s see. Yeah, I’m drawing a blank.”

They both laughed. “So, what do you do in your spare time?” Lucas asked.

“Uh, I love the theater. It’s great living in New York; so many shows to choose from.”

“What kind of stuff are you into? Avant-garde? Existential?”

“Well…to be honest, I love musicals.”

“Really? Me too!” Lucas grinned. “I was just trying to sound smart, and I think I landed on pretentious.”

“What’s your favorite show? I saw
Spring Awakening
again last week and I never get tired of it.”

“Oh, I haven’t seen that yet! I hear it’s amazing.”

“It really is. Seriously, you have to see it.” Gabriel’s face lit up as he talked about the show. “Maybe we could go together.”

Suddenly Lucas remembered he was at a dating event. “You know, I’d love to, but…”

Gabriel’s cheeks reddened. “Oh, no, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

“No, no. I want to. The truth is, I don’t even know what I’m doing here. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I thought maybe this would help. I was seeing this other guy, and I know he wasn’t the right one, but my boyfriend won’t forgive me for this stupid thing I did -- not that I blame him, because it was really bad -- and I thought that I should get out and meet new people and get a life and --” Lucas broke off. “And I’m rambling. Sorry.”

Gabriel smiled kindly. “It’s okay. Hey, I’ve been there. Look, we can just be friends. I mean, if you want.”

“I do! I mean, that would be nice. God, I sound completely desperate and bizarre, don’t I? Wait, don’t answer that.”

Laughing, Gabriel took a sip of his beer. “I’ll have to take the fifth on that one.”

“I just don’t really have that many friends. Or any, at this point. I moved here in the summer and the one friend I met at school I stupidly dated, and that didn’t work out. So I’m back to square one.”

“Yeah, it was hard when I moved to New York from Indiana. I know how it can be.”

The bell rang, and Lucas found he really had no desire to go to the next table. “So, if I check off your name, they’ll send your contact info, right?”

“Only if I check off your name too.”

“Right. No pressure or anything. Seriously, I know you didn’t come here looking for a new theater buddy --”

“Relax, Lucas.” Gabriel grinned and uncapped his pen. He made a big check beside Lucas’s name. “I can always use another theater buddy.”

A tall man hovered behind Lucas. “Uh, you’re supposed to go to the next table, now. You’re in the outside chair.”

“Right!” Lucas stood up and gave Gabriel another smile. “Talk to you soon.”

At the next table, he sat down across from an older man with a sour look on his face. “You’re supposed to move when the bell goes.”

“Um, sorry.” Lucas glanced at Gabriel, and they both burst out laughing. Their new dates weren’t amused.

* * * * *

Walking out of the student pub, Lucas found himself smiling widely. He’d just attended his second meeting of the Bad Film Appreciation Club, where they’d screened
The Apple
, one of the most truly terrible, yet enjoyable musicals Lucas had ever seen.

“So, was that not extremely frightening?” Kelly laughed as she fell into step with Lucas.

“Extremely. Of course, I’ll have to buy the DVD.”

“Me too!” Kelly giggled, smoothing a woolen cap over her short brown hair. Kelly was a pixie-sized sophomore who had sat beside Lucas at the first meeting he’d attended. She’d saved him a seat tonight, which had made him ridiculously happy. “But I don’t think that movie should ever be viewed without friends and copious amounts of alcoholic beverages.”

“Agreed. I shudder to think of the consequences of sober and solitary viewing of a futuristic, sexual, yet biblical disco musical about people from Moose Jaw.”

Kelly laughed appreciatively. “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Nothing much.” The truth was nothing at all aside from studying, but Lucas didn’t want to seem desperate. Casey now ignored him and sat on the other side of their English classroom, and although Lucas was firm in his decision to be alone, he still missed having a friend.

“Okay, this is probably going to sound extremely lame, but…what do you think about Zac Efron?”

“Aside from the fact that he’s totally cute?” The beer he’d had at the pub had loosened his tongue, and Lucas suddenly realized Kelly might not know he was gay.

“Oh my God, isn’t he?” She clapped her hands joyfully, as if Lucas thinking Zac was cute was the most natural thing in the world. “That settles it. You have to come see his new movie with me. It’s a musical, and my other friends are all into artsy foreign movies.”

“I’d love to.”

Kelly bounced with happiness and they exchanged cell numbers. Before she left for the subway, she reached up and gave Lucas a quick hug, much to his delight. In Washington Square Park, the Christmas lights twinkled merrily on the huge tree, and the city was in full holiday mode. Lucas tried to ignore the stab of loneliness that always accompanied thoughts of the holidays. Pushing it out of his mind, he focused on the fact that he had another new friend.

He and Gabriel had plans to see
Spring Awakening
the next weekend, and Lucas was glad he’d given the speed dating a try. Not that he’d gotten any real dates out of it, but he’d realized romance wasn’t what he was looking for right now. He needed more time to get over Nate.

He braced himself for the heartache that inevitably followed thoughts of Nate. He hoped he’d miss him less as time went on, but he wasn’t optimistic. He sighed and muttered to himself under his breath, once again attempting to banish the unhappy thoughts from his mind.

Humming one of the dreadful songs from the movie, Lucas waited at the street corner. Glancing at his watch, he realized with a groan that he’d left it awfully late to finish studying the chapter on the Boston Tea Party for his history test tomorrow. The light turned green and Lucas stepped off the curb, wondering if he should get up early and study in the morning instead.

Tires screeched and pain erupted as Lucas moved through the air in a whirl of light. He landed in an even bigger explosion of agony. A blaring noise filled his ears, and cold seeped into his bones as the darkness set in.

* * * * *

As Lucas struggled to open his eyes, a dim white light greeted him. He blinked as the room swam into focus, and he became aware of a throbbing pain emanating from his left knee. He took a breath, whimpering as his ribs expanded painfully.

He was in a hard bed with a silver railing, and an older woman peered through a glass window by his feet. A few moments later at his bedside, she leaned close and smiled. “Lucas? How are you feeling?”

He tried to respond, but his throat was as dry as the Sahara. The nurse tipped a cup of water up to his lips, and Lucas managed to swallow, although his throat protested. The nurse smiled again. “Don’t worry, you’re going to be okay.” She put the cup down and fiddled with the IV in Lucas’s hand. “Your friend is very worried about you.”

Friend?
Lucas tried to wade through his muddled memory. He recalled school, and drinking beer, and…someone singing in platform glitter boots? He’d been with someone outside…Kelly. Kelly must be here. She really was nice…

“He’s been wearing a hole in the floor out there all night.”

Lucas blinked. He’d been nodding off, and the drowsiness closed in. Wait…
he?
Who was in the waiting room?

“-- tell him he can come in now. You’ll probably be out for the next --”

Blinking, Lucas winced against the harsh light. Every muscle in his body ached, and the pain from his knee radiated outward. Daylight streamed in a window that he couldn’t see, and Lucas struggled to turn his head, which ached dully. As he focused on the chair beside him, he realized he wasn’t awake at all, but still lost in dreams.

He struggled to wake, telling himself to leave the dream world behind. Yet as Lucas shifted his body and shook off the haze of painkillers, Nate remained slumped in the chair, his chin dropped to his chest.

This can’t be real
. He tried to remember how he’d ended up in the hospital, but all he could remember was going to school and being in the pub. Incredibly, Nate hadn’t faded away, but continued breathing softly in the chair beside him. As Lucas reached for him, pain flashed down his side and he cried out.

Nate’s head snapped up. “Lucas?” He leaned forward in the chair, his eyes wide with concern. He reached out, and his fingertips brushed Lucas’s hair back off his forehead. “Let me get the nurse.”

Lucas tried to tell him no, that he had to stay, but Nate bounded out of the chair and into the hallway. Lucas stared at the open door, praying that he’d return, and that it hadn’t been his imagination.