De Niro's Game (27 page)

I drove the car onto a small dusty road, and I drove through a green
meadow that led me to the sea. I left the car and rushed to the rocky shore, and I
stepped into the water, and started to clean myself of my sins, of this burning land, of
my loved ones. And the sea turned purple, like the onyx that had once filled the shore.
And the blood screamed louder than the seagulls, louder than the ancient invaders. I
buried my head in the waves and washed my hair. The pebbles behind me rocked back and
forth; the clams shut their shells. I sat between land and sea, vomiting what I did not
eat, spitting
out the yellow substance that joined the sea foam and
rushed past me to shatter on the massive rocks.

After a while, I went back to the car and stripped myself of the clothes I
was wearing. I opened my bag and put on the other clothes that I had packed.

Then I drove away from there, and I did not think of George. You see? You
see? All I wanted was to ride away on the sea.

I pulled back from Rhea. I had nothing more to say.

She didn't turn away from me then, but still I left her in tears. I
went down her stairs and into Paris's streets.

I walked to the train station. It rained, and the trains arrived and
departed, and the passengers passed.

The woman at the ticket window asked me,
Monsieur, où allez-vous
aujourd'hui?

Roma, I said. Roma.

AKHU AL-SHARMUTA
: brother of a bitch

ALA ALAARD YA IKHWAT AL-SHARMUTA
: Down on the floor, you brothers of bitches

AL-AMN AL-DAKHILI
: internal security

AL-ASWAQ
: marketplace; a reference to the region that divided East from West Beirut during the Lebanese civil war

AL-GHARBIYYAH
: West Beirut

ALLAH YIRHAMHA
: may she rest in peace

AL-NASIK
: the Hermit

ARAQ
: distilled alcohol made of grapes

ARBA'IN TWAKKAL ALA ALLAH
: Forty, God be with you

ARGILAHS
: hookahs

ARS
: pimp

ASAS
: foundation

BATAL
: hero

BAMIA
: okra

BONSOIRAYN
: Lebanese slang meaning
bonsoir
twice

CHABBAB
: young men

DABKAH
: a group circular dance

DANTA, YA BEH, MUSH AYIZ IDDIK CRAVATA HARIR KAMAN
?: Your highness, do you want me to offer you a silk tie as well?

FANNAS
: a liar

GEORGE AL-FARANSAWI
: George the French

HABIBTI
: my darling

HAMSHAH, SHALKHAH
: slang meaning hot, attractive girl

HASHASH
: drug user

HAYDI AL-SARSARAH
: this gossiper

IRAN
: a liquid yoghurt

JABHAH
: the name of a place, or a faction, on the front line

JAHILIYYAH
: pre-islamic period

KALASH
: slang for Kalashnikov, a weapon used widely in the war

KANASA
: snipers

KASS
: a drink based on green almonds

KAYF
: joy; slang for hashish

KHALAS
: enough, or finish

KHALL
: vinegar

KUNAFAH
: a cheese pie

LABNAH
: soft cheese

LAHM BA'AJIN
: a thin meat pie

MAJALIS
: the name of the headquarters of the Lebanese Forces

MAJNUN
: crazy

MAN'OUSHE
: thyme pie

MARIAM AL-ADHRA'
: Virgin Mary

MASHKAL
: problem

MASSAT
: blowjobs

MAZAH
: an assortment of finger foods

MUQAWAMAH
: resistance

RAKWAH
: a small pot with a short spout used to make Arabic coffee

RJA' YA ALLAH-RJA'!
: Go back, for God's sake

RUH
: spirit

RUMMANAH
: pomegranate; slang for a hand grenade

SAHTAYN
: good appetite

SAKANAH
: an army barricade

SHABAB
: young men

SHAHID
: martyr

TANTE
: aunt

TWAKKAL ALA ALLAH
: Have faith in God

‘
UMMAH
: nation

‘
USTADH
: teacher

WOU YALLAH SHID YA BEEBO SHID MITL MA SHAD BAYAK AWWAL LAYLAH
: Push, push Beebo, in the same way your father pushed on his wedding night

YA CHIC INTA
: handsome

YA HABBUB
: a term of endearment

YA IKHWAT AL-SHARMUTA
: brothers of bitches

YA KALB
: dog

YA KHALTI
: my aunty

YA 'UM AL-NUR
: Mother of Light

YA WLAD AL-SHARMUTA
: sons of bitches

YALLAH, KASSAK
: cheers

YASSAREH
: leftist

ZAJAL
: a form of improvised dialect poetry

ZAKHIRAH
: a piece of wood the Lebanese Christians believe originated from Jesus' cross

ZU'RAN
: thugs

I WOULD LIKE
to thank the Canada Council and the Conseil
des arts et des lettres du Québec for their support. I also would like to thank
Lisa Mills for her presence, friendship, and support during the writing of this book and
after. Thanks to John Asfour for his friendship and much-appreciated guidance. To my
publisher Lynn Henry, and all the people at Anansi, and to Martha Sharpe for acquiring
the manuscript and for ongoing support. Thanks to my brothers and family: Mark, Merdad,
Ralph, Gigi, and Ramzi. A special thanks to: Dima Ayoub, Leila Bdeir, Laurence Cailbeaux
and Jesh Hanspal, Nick Chbat, Tina Diab, Jocelyn Doray, Julia Dover, Eva Elias, Majdi
ElOmari, Erin George, Kathryn Haddad, Mansour Harik, Nasrin Himada and Raphaelle
Beaulieu, Magdalona Gombos, Aida Kaouk, Sandra Khoury, Johanna Manley, Ramzi Moufarej,
Nehal Nassif, Maire Noonan and Antoine Boustros, Milosz Rowicki, Babak Salari , Julian
Samuels, Pascale Solon, Laurelle Sprengelmeyer, and Shannon Walsh.

Any resemblance of characters in this novel to persons living or dead is
purely coincidental.

RAWI HAGE
was born in Beirut, Lebanon, and lived through
nine years of the Lebanese civil war. He immigrated to Canada in 1992. He is an
award-winning writer, visual artist, curator, and political commentator. His writing has
appeared in
Maclean's
,
Fuse
,
Mizna
,
Jouvert
,
The Toronto Review
,
Montreal Serai
, and
Al-Jadid
. His
visual work has been shown in galleries and museums around the world. His second novel,
Cockroach
, will be published by House of Anansi Press in 2008.

House of Anansi Press was founded in 1967 with a mandate to
publish Canadian-authored books, a mandate that continues to this day even as the list
has branched out to include internationally acclaimed thinkers and writers. The press
immediately gained attention for significant titles by notable writers such as Margaret
Atwood, Michael Ondaatje, George Grant, and Northrop Frye. Since then, Anansi's
commitment to finding, publishing and promoting challenging, excellent writing has won
it tremendous acclaim and solid staying power. Today Anansi is Canada's pre-eminent
independent press, and home to nationally and internationally bestselling and acclaimed
authors such as Gil Adamson, Margaret Atwood, Ken Babstock, Peter Behrens, Rawi Hage,
Misha Glenny, Jim Harrison, A. L. Kennedy, Pasha Malla, Lisa Moore, A. F. Moritz, Eric
Siblin, Karen Solie, and Ronald Wright. Anansi is also proud to publish the
award-winning nonfiction series The CBC Massey Lectures. In 2007, 2009, 2010, and 2011
Anansi was honoured by the Canadian Booksellers Association as “Publisher of the Year.”