I nodded, inexplicably calmer and more at peace with my quest than ever.
***
After leaving the Norns, I needed time to think.
Sigrun and Aimee followed me out to the hall where the others waited. They were concerned. I understood that but I needed some space to get my head together first.
"I just need some time, guys. Sorry," I said and looked at the other archways leading away from the hall. I searched the ceiling for Hugin and called out to him.
He flew down in a rush of black feathers, landing on my shoulder and I walked toward the pool away from the rest of the group. "Hugin, which one of these exits will take me somewhere that I can just be by myself for a while? I need to think a few things through."
"I will find out for you,"
was all he said before he flapped away.
I turned back to the group and it seemed that Sigrun and Aimee had filled them in.
"So it was a waste of time then?" asked Aidan.
"No, it wasn't a waste of time. Well . . . for what I'd hoped to find out, yes, it was a waste of time. But we come away with two very important pieces of information. The location of both Heimdall and his horn." I received nods all around along with expressions of satisfaction and purpose. Hugin flew back into the room and headed for my shoulder. "For now, I just need some time to myself."
"Follow me,"
the bird said in my ear. He launched off my shoulder and headed off across the room to an archway on the other side of the room. I followed, trusting he'd lead me to peace and quiet.
A few moments later, the passage deposited us into a grotto. It was unkempt with rivulets of water seeping from the ceiling and trickling down a gigantic root which sprouted from the right wall, rose and fell like the hump of a great serpent, then dove back down into the ground and disappeared. The floor itself was a web of tiny roots packed with mud until it provided a level walking surface.
It had the distinct air of abandonment, yet it felt like the perfect place to hide away and think. My heart still thumped erratically against my ribs. The opportunity to save Heimdall was not lost on me, but how did I deal with the knowledge that I couldn’t change my hand in Odin’s destruction?
How could I continue being a Valkyrie and do my job, knowing in the end, he'd die because of something I did or something I was going to do?
I sat on a soft, spongy root, paying scant attention to the water trickling alongside my seat. Hugin found a perch a few feet away from me, keeping a silent watch. I laid the bottle down beside me. The last thing I needed was to smash the thing to smithereens.
My thoughts and emotions remained fixed on the All-Father. The Norns had given me the location of Heimdall and Gjallerhorn. That meant if we could find Odin, he’d know exactly what we needed to do. Not that I didn’t know what my next step was. Retrieve the Gjallerhorn first, that was the instruction.
But I needed to talk to Odin. To know that he knew what we were doing and that we were actually making progress. To just get a word or two of advice from the All-Father. Where in Hel was he anyway? Why would he choose now of all times to disappear without a word?
As I sat there, the spongy root shifting beneath my rear, I almost imagined Odin standing before me in his old dude form, black eye-patch, floppy hat and flowing gray cloak. I scolded myself
.
You want to see the old guy so much that you have to imagine him in front of you? Get a grip, Bryn.
I blinked, almost laughing at myself, but the image didn’t go away. It wavered as if Odin was appearing out of thin air but was having trouble becoming fully corporeal.
Blinking again, I shook my head sharply, convinced I was imagining it, but when the image remained right where I’d first seen it, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do first, faint or tell him off for abandoning us. But either way, I’d be talking to what looked like a projector image. And a weak one at that.
I stared and stared harder, and when the image spoke, I fell right off my root seat, dumbstruck. "Brynhildr, my child, do not be afraid."
It really was Odin. At last, I remembered I still sat where I’d fallen, mere inches from a little patch of water. I scrambled to my feet, dusting myself off and staring straight at the apparition, still half-sure I was losing my marbles.
Then as I watched, the apparition became clearer and I became more confident that Odin had appeared in the cavern with me. It looked like him and even talked like him. I watched him and said nothing.
I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. "Where have you been? You’ve got poor Frigga so worried. And we searched the whole of Asgard for you - turned the place upside down looking for you." Now that my words were finally out, all I wanted to do was bite my tongue clean off. Who was I to scold the All-Father?
But he just chuckled. "I know, my child. It has been difficult." Odin frowned as if trying to find the best way to explain. "I was trying to weave a magical ward around Asgard, one that would prevent Loki from entering our realm so easily, but I miscalculated. Either that or Loki has somehow laid down his own magic before me, which backfired on me." Odin paused, a thoughtful twist to his forehead. "Mmhh. And now that I think about it, that sounds like the best explanation. In fact, when the magic exploded, it felt so much like Loki that, at the time, I thought he’d appeared out of nowhere and attacked me."
"Where did you go to cast this magic?"
"The edge of Asgard, beyond the sky where the lights appear for our
einherjar
." I nodded. Odin spoke of the aurora borealis. To the Asgardians, the Northern Lights marked the journey of a Warrior from death to rebirth as an
einherjar
.
Odin seemed to have fallen into a memory as he stopped speaking, and his face took on a faraway look. "And what happened then?" I asked.
"After the magic backfired, the ward refused to allow me to enter Asgard again." Odin said it so matter-of-factly it took a while for it to sink in.
"Oh my god," I gasped, shocked and horrified that Odin was unable to enter his own realm. "How do we reverse it?"
"I do not know, child. And the longer I remain this way, the more I fade away. I do believe there was dark magic woven into Loki's spell." My heart hurt when I saw the expression on Odin’s face. Such defeat and weariness didn't belong on the god’s face. I was so used to his control and force, that everything inside me began to crumble. "Now tell me what it is that you are doing here beneath the Yggdrasil? This was really the last place I thought of looking."
"So how did you find me then?"
"Munin. I was most grateful when he flew out to do his usual reconnaissance and saw me." Odin chuckled. "Sometimes those birds are particularly useful."
Hugin launched off the root and, in a flurry and flap of wings, landed neatly on Odin's shoulder. Odin stared at the bird with his one good eye while Hugin tilted his head slightly, the action almost an admonition.
"I think you hurt his feelings," I said, grinning.
"I do believe I have." Odin nodded. And then his form flickered in and out, disappearing for a few seconds, sending the raven fluttering to the ground as he lost his perch. A few moments later, Odin appeared again, his smile fading. "Come, child, I do not have much time."
"What can I do for you, my lord?" I rose to my feet and stepped before the All-Father.
"In this instance, I believe it is more to do with what
I
can do for you, my dear Bryn."
My mouth formed a soft, silent "O"
.
"You have done so very much for us in so many ways. You have withstood so much, putting yourself second so many times. You have the mark of a true Warrior, and for this, the Nine Realms thank you. For this, the Aesir thank you." Odin bowed, light from somewhere glinting on the white hair that fell below his floppy hat. "I know you have suffered much since Stephen Lee, son of Loki, stole your wings." Odin paused, his eyes glistening as he swallowed and took a deep breath. "And because of your suffering, I have been searching for a way to return your wings to you. It will tax my strength but it has to be done."
"No, my lord. We need you. You can't endanger your health in any way. We need to find a way to get you home." Although my heart soared at the prospect of the return of my wings, the emotion was bittersweet knowing it could hurt Odin. I’d prefer no wings if that were the case.
"Never fear, Brynhildr. I will find a way. But now, in this moment, I need to give you a few things to assist you in your journey." Odin held out his staff, pointing it at me, and for a moment, a rush of fear swept through me. I tamped down the urge to step away, knowing that Odin would never harm me. The All-Father concentrated on the tip of his staff and slowly, the air began to shimmer. A thin line of shifting, colored lights grew before me, so close I could reach out and touch it. Not that I dared.
The line of color slowly coalesced into a golden rod, almost a foot taller than I was. And as it gained solidity, gravity began to pull on it and the rod tipped over slowly. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed it. I could do without the gleaming staff falling to the stone floor and being damaged.
Only when I had it in my hand did I notice its deadly, pointed tip. Odin's spear. The very same spear that it was foretold he would ride into battle with. I stepped forward and attempted to hand the spear to Odin, but the god shook his head, his shaggy, grey hair shivering with the movement. His single eye regarded me with such emotion my throat tightened.
"That is Gungnir. And I am leaving it in your safekeeping." I shook my head, unsure if I should accept such a valuable treasure from Odin, but I didn't speak. I'd taken one of his birds without any qualms, how could I decline his gift now? Odin walked toward me and placed a ghostly hand on my shoulder. "I suspect it will also come in handy at some point."
He placed his hand over my fingers where I held the spear. Only a hint of warmth touched my skin, no solidity in his form, reminding me that he struggled to maintain his presence beside me. I nodded then, knowing I'd have to keep the spear if only because he wanted me to.
"I do not have much time left, Brynhildr." Odin sighed. "I have one more thing to give you."
"But—"
"No, this is my choice and you must accept it." Odin brooked no argument from me. "You must take care of Gungnir for me. And you must take with you my two companions, Geri and Freki. Once you return to Asgard, they will come to you. Do not be afraid of them. They are powerful but obedient, and you are now their mistress."
As Odin spoke, the spectral image of him wavered, shivering in the air, there and not there. Odin was fading away, and too fast for his, or my, liking.
"There is one more thing, child. It is of utmost importance that you know who you really are."
But his last words were whispers on the wind as he shimmered and flickered before my eyes. His face crumpled in disappointment, Odin faded away, his mouth forming words I could not hear.
I shook my head. "I can't hear you," I yelled.
He spoke again, muscles in his throat taught, telling me he was shouting but not a sound reached my ears.
And then he was gone.
Just like that.
***